


Second Chance Family

by the_impatient_panda



Category: Defiance (TV), Star Trek
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Family, Final Episode Re-do, Fluff, Happy Ending, Multi, Post-Canon, Smut, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 80,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25495522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_impatient_panda/pseuds/the_impatient_panda
Summary: Q, being Q, does a very Q thing: he decides that the best way to help is to offer a deal that is a little bit Cinderella and a little bit Rumpelstiltskin. Nolan is skeptical, Meh is resigned. What could possibly go wrong?WARNING:INCOMPLETE This is fairly fleshed out for massive chunks, then will fall to skeleton dialogue or just notes. A definite beginning, middle and end.
Kudos: 1





	1. Part 1

a Nolan sat at the controls of the Omec Harvester, working confidently despite the fact that twelve years of use had worn away the original engraved designs. Time had also worn away at him, his hair more grey and the lines of his face carved more deeply than before. His left cheek was scarred, and the eye above it now similar to Meh’s in shape and color. 

“Uncle Jo?” A small voice queried at his elbow, and he glanced down. A young Irathient boy looked back, his hair a gentle red cloud against the teak of his skin. The halfmoon on his forehead was broader than Irisa’s, and the streaks down his cheeks more stylized, but the green of his eyes was an exact match.

“Yeah, Colt?” he replied with a grin. 

“Can I drive?”

The human glanced around, saw no Yewll in sight, and said quietly, “You remember the rule?”

“Don’t tell Mama Meh.” Seriously.

“Exactly. Up you go.” Into his lap, he lets the boy take over the controls. “Easy on the accelerator...there you go.” Glancing around again. “Where is Mama Meh?”

“Cleaning up Becca’s mess. She had another accident.” Making a face.

“Don’t be too hard on her,” Nolan said with a shrug, blinking his indogene eye as it briefly went out of focus. Jekking thing was always on the fritz, these days. It might be time for a new one, but the process gave him the creeps. Better to wait until he had no choice. “Learning to use the bathroom was easy for you, but there’s things she’s going to beat you at later one. Be nice about it now, and hopefully she will too when the shoe’s on the other foot.”

“Because she’s a girl, right?”

“No, because everyone is different. It’d be the same if she was any other gender or race...anything. No one is the best at everything.”

“Oh.” Still focused in driving.

“Alright, kiddo, that’s enough for now.” Taking back over. “Scoot before Mama Meh gets suspicious.   
  


“Ok.” Hopping down with a smile. 

“Did you finish your lessons yet?”

“Nope.”

“Kiddo...”

“Fine.” Walking away. “I’m going.”

Nolan didn’t actually need to sit in the seat to pilot the ship, but he enjoyed the feel of the controls beneath his hands for at least a few hours every day. Their course was one back towards Earth. Dropped off the Omec a year ago. When they dropped them off, they discovered the children. An experiment of T’evgins and Kindzi’s. Creating new stock for them to enslave when they finished killing the others. Not all the children survived being awakened, and T’evgin only had space for 5 tanks. The three that did survive have been with them for a year. It took Meh awhile, but she does the Mom thing alright now. Nolan absolutely loves it.

Their relationship is a trust built of years alone together. Very sibling like. He touches her (friendly like) she rarely touches him except when he’s hurt or particularly down. 

Nolan heads to dinner. Richard helped prepare it. He’s a very gentle and earnest boy. His hair is also very short, brilliant white, and his eyes are orange. Becca is at the table, waiting patiently. She is around three or four, (find her description later on the story!!). 

“Uncle Jo, can I see you in the kitchen?” Meh. Being an indogene, time has weighed differently on her. She looks almost the same, though she rarely bothers with the makeup and clothes anymore. She’s much more relaxed-looking all around. She has the constant connection to the ark brain, though. Figure out what it looks like. 

“You’re in trouble.” Becca, quickly.

“What for?” Richard, worried.

“Don’t worry about it, buddy.” Nolan, ruffling his hair. “Let’s go get this over with...” Into the kitchen, he goes. Describe it and how long it took to make it. “Hi honey, I’m home.”

“I thought we agreed Colt wasn’t going to drive the ship anymore.” Meh, chopping vegetables.

“No, you told me you didn’t want me letting him drive anymore,” Nolan replied as he stole a bite from the chopping board. “And then walked away, which is not a conversation as I didn’t get to respond.”

“I walked away because Becca was trying to paint a picture with her zamosta sauce on the table and a response wasn’t needed.” Turning around to face him. “What did we agree on when we found the kids?”

A deep sigh. “That you’re the parent.”

“Which was  _ your _ choice. I gave you  _ three _ options and you decided-”

“Alright, alright. Yes, that’s what I did.” Shrugging. “Colt won’t drive the ship again. At least not until we both agree on it. How did you know?”

“Nolan, I’m constantly hooked to the ship’s ark brain, of course I can tell when an inexperienced driver is at the wheel.”

“Ah. Fair enough.” He slings an arm around her and kisses her on the temple. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Shaking him off, but with a small smile. “Get the bread before the kids wonder if I killed you.”

“There were no screams, they know I’m fine.” Getting the bread just the same, and shooting her a grin. 

“Please. If I wanted you to drop dead without a sound, you would,” she shot back, catching his grin with a wink of her own. 

The grin grew to a smile, and Nolan laughed. “You wouldn’t do that to me. You like me too much.”

Meh doesn’t reply. She rarely expresses affection, but she also stopped denying it years ago.

The talk over dinner is mainly the kids. Meh made their lessons, and they’re progressing quickly. Becca doesn’t talk much, but when she’s done eating she climbs into Meh’s lap and listens to the rest of them talk. Meh is already done, because she hardly eats. After dinner, there is some playing and reading. Then to bed. The kids sleep all together, with Becca in the middle. Nolan tucks them in, then finds Meh back in the ‘living area’. She’s looking at pictures. She took them from her mind and printed them for them both. Its the city and their favorite people in it.

“You alright?” he asked as he settled in next to her.

“No,” she replied quietly, putting her head in one hand. “I was until I saw one of the kids left this out again. Eleven years to get home, if we’re lucky.” Shaking her head. “It won’t be the same anymore. There probably won’t be a place for us by then.”

“Of course there will be.”

“Richard will be an adult. So will Colt, and Becca won’t be far behind.”

“We agreed we couldn’t leave them in the canisters. It wouldn’t be right.”

“The ship is just a bigger prison cell, Nolan.”

“Now  _ that _ I agree with.”

A stranger in their midst. Describe Q, Nolan draws his gun.

“Who the shtak-”

“Mine’s bigger.” A cannon appears in Q’s arms. Meh is watching with open mouth. “Careful there, my genetically engineered friend. You might swallow a fly.”

“How did you get on this ship?”

“Easy, I just-” Snaps his fingers. Is gone. Comes back. “See?”

“Oh  _ Christmas _ -” Meh looks faint.

“Meh?” Nolan, worried.

“He’s a friggin’ Q.”

“A what?”

Q gives a Q description. “And...I’m here to help.”

“No.” Meh, quickly. “No, we don’t want help from a Q. Just leave.”

“Ok, what is going on? Who are you?”

“I told you, I’m Q.  _ The _ Q the other Q’s wish they could be.”

“The answer is still no!” To Nolan. “It’s an alien for whom time, form and restraint are optional. Also common sense.”

“You wound me, my hairless friend. However, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you’re a little...testy.”

“Your... _ people _ are the reason the suns collided.”

“It was necessary. We were stopping a different catastrophic event from happening. Trust me, what would have come would be much, much worse.”

“I would ask, but I honestly don’t care. Whatever it you’re selling, we ain’t buying.”

“The least you could do is give me a listen. Although, to be honest me asking is a courtesy. Because one way or another, you are going to listen.” Holding up his fingers to snap again.

“That won’t be necessary!” Nolan, quickly. “Right, Meh?” Giving her a hard look.

“....oh, fine.” Crossing her arms. “Go on.”

“Great! Let’s get comfortable.” Snapping his fingers. Comfy chair. “Perfect. Listen up kids, it's story time. Now, to confirm a theory that indogenes have been kicking around for awhile: yes, there are parallel universes. And Q being unbound by conventional boundaries as you mentioned before, we can bound through like ping-pong balls. In one such universe, I met the Picard. A human, actually, who eventually convinced me that the Q should be using our powers for good.”

“Fascinating. Can you hurry this up? I’m getting bored.” Meh.

“Patience, Picard-ette. Patience. He was bald too, you know. Distractingly so.” Shaking his head. “One of the events we guided was the Omec. We could foresee the potential for disaster immediately, of course, but our...tweaks always seemed in the long run to make things worse. Ultimately, to protect the galaxies at large from utter destruction at the hands of the Omec, we collided your stars. The Votan races, of course, loathed the Omec and made sure their escape was...hindered. Isn’t that right, Meh-Meh?”

Meh didn’t respond, but her lack of expression was answer enough.

“Redemption, though, that is a beautiful thing. You, Meh Yewll, have now helped save the race you once tried to destroy. The Omec people who regain space travel in several generations will not be the same who landed there. They will always be warriors and vastly intelligent, but time in such rudimentary surroundings will bring wisdom to temper their strength.”

“Lovely. Still bored.”

“You gave the Omec a second chance,” Q summed up with a wave of his hand. “I would like to give you the same. The truth is...the  _ best _ choices were not made the day you sling-shotted yourselves into space.”

“We did the chupping best we could.” Nolan, hotly. 

“I agree,” Q said cheerfully. “But now...you know better. And so I’d like to offer you a Cinderella deal, with just a touch of Rumpelstiltskin.”

“That’s not a good combo.” Nolan, quietly to himself.

“I’ll give you back the last 24 hours you had on Earth before blasting off into space. You can do it over again. Your goals are to send the Omec off into space to their new home while saving the innocents and getting yourself back down safely.”

“What happens if we don’t manage all three?” Meh.

“You come back here. That adventure never happened.”

“Typical. No thanks. If you really wanted to help, you’d have just gotten rid of the Omec right off the bat.”

“No can do. Besides, broad, sweeping changes like that don’t usually end well.”

“Oh, but colliding two stars are acceptable.” Meh, sass at its best. 

“Your words are like that of a babe squealing at its father ‘but its not fair!!’. It's not fair. Life  _ isn’t _ fair, not even for a Q. I have infinite powers in a finite universe, Janeway turned me down for a very pretty piece of Borg skirt and Picard had to go and teach me I’m not always right. It was  _ very _ distressing. But beyond that, there are reasons I can't give you more than 24 hours  _ or _ simply make the Omec disappear.”

“Then we’ll just take the long way home.”

“I’m not done. There’s another very good reason you need to do this. Defiance and its people need you.”

“Why?” Nolan, suspicious.

“I can’t tell you that, specifically. Too much foreknowledge is dangerous. But I can tell you this: if you don’t do it and succeed, then when you get home there will be no Defiance to return to.”

“Destroyed?” Nolan.

“A ghost town. Entirely deserted.”

“And the people in it?” Meh.

“Some dead, some alive. But scattered. Broken. And the best chance for Votan and human peace in your generation shattered.”

“War?” Nolan, quietly.

“Maybe. Bloodshed for certain. Distrust and destruction all around. It will take decades to rebuild.”

“And how are supposed to stop that?”

“Apparently...just by being there.” He shrugs, laughing. “It’s crazy, right? I mean, you kind of make sense as a skilled-ish doctory sort, but he’s just a gun-slinging grunt.” Nolan glares at him. “Oh, don’t get me wrong. Grunts are just as much fun to tease as anyone else, you just aren’t generally very  _ useful _ -” Nolan draws, Q snaps his fingers. He’s holding NOlan’s gun. “Seriously, overcompensate much? Tsk Tsk. You should know by now, sir, that it's not how big it is but how you use it that counts.”

“Oh, trust me, it;s true to size and I can use it just  _ fine _ -”

“That’s what they all say.” Wiggling his brows suggestively.

“Please, boys, you’re both pretty and there is no one in this room who gives a damn about your dick.” Meh, dryly. “Nolan, I don’t trust him.”

“But?”

“But...he’s probably not lying.”

“Amanda’s tough. So is Irisa. They’re both survivors.”

“They both also stubborn as hell.” Grumbled. “Amanda, at least, wouldn’t leave. Not as long as there was one person who still needed help.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I don’t see how Defiance is gone unless Amanda and maybe Irisa are too.”

“Shtako.” Rubbing his face. “...you’re right.”

Meh to Q. “What about the kids?”

“Those were the innocents I spoke of. They need to be removed from the ship for this to work. Otherwise, the cycle cannot be broken.”

“So we  _ can _ save them?”

“It is possible, yes.” Shrugs. “Even the two you couldn’t save before, maybe.”

Meh’s shoulders tighten at that, and Nolan puts a hand on her. Q doesn’t notice, he’s too busy looking around.

“Omec,” he says with mild disgust. “Gaudy should be their middle name. Your attempts to mute it are appreciated, but not quite...adequate. So, what’s it going to be? A long trip home to a depressing reunion with your home planet, or will you roll the dice to make things better?”

They’re both quiet.

“Meh...”

“I know.” She crosses her arms, and looks at Q. “I want the terms straight out. What are we agreeing to?”

“I’ll send you back to the final 24 hours. Your objectives are to send the Omec ship to its new home, save the innocents, and make it back safely. You need all three for it to stick. You will remember everything...for a time. Skills, if you make use of them, will stay. The memories will eventually fade to hazy shadows. Even indogene brains can’t contain two timelines for very long.”

“Will the children remember?”

“Yes.”

“And if we do it...that’s it? You leave us alone?”

“Unless there is some other monstrously cataclysmic event in your area I need you to fix, yes.” Laughing. “Oh, don’t look so alarmed. As it so happens, the odds are ridiculously low. Nearly zero, in fact.”

“I would be much happier with a zero.” Meh, darkly.

“I’m a Q, we don’t deal in absolutes. Unless its how fabulous I am.”

Meh snorts. “I want to tell the kids what’s happening. Or at least Richard and Colt. Just...just in case.”

“That’s a good idea. We can tell them what to do if someone else wakes them up. Just in case.”

“How long do we have?” Meh to Q.

“How long do we have?” Meh to Q.

“Ugh. You dimensionally constricted beings can be so demanding.” Rolling his eyes. “Say, fifteen minutes?”

“Fine.”

They hurry to the kids. Wake them up. Explain (sort of). Meh holds them close. “Remember this. If you wake up, and we’re not there, remember this. We love you, and we’re coming for you, alright?”

They should be planning, but neither can move past this yet. Nolan slings an arm around her. “We’re family, alright? That’s not going to change.”

“Even with-?”

“I don’t care. We’ll make it work.”

“Your optimism is annoying.”

“Eh, you still like me.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” She sneaks an arm around him too. 

“Mama?” Becca, sleepily.

“It’s alright. We’ll be alright.”

Q appeared with a smile. 

“Picture perfect,” he said, lifting his hand. “Good luck.”

_ Snap. _

-090-

Nolan sat up abruptly, surprised to see Meh doing the same in the chair across the room. Their eyes met, and memories flooded back. It took a moment to orient themselves. He remembered where he was, and what was happening. A glance around showed everyone else still asleep, catching a few hours of rest before the fight began again.

Silently the soldier rose, walking to the backroom and motioning for the haggard doctor to follow. She did, and for the first time he noticed the haunted look in her eyes. The guilt that lay heavy across her shoulders. Was it there the first time, he just didn’t bother to see?

“Hey,” he said as he caught her shoulder as soon as the door was shut behind them. “It’s not your fault.”

“Oh, yes it is,” she replied hoarsely. “I walked into the lion's den alone, and that was stupid and arrogant. That I was caught and used against Defiance is 100 percent my fault.”

“C’mere.” Holding her in a tight hug. “No one’s watching, alright? It's just you and me. So take five minutes to let it out, but after that we’ve got work to do.”

She hugs him back hard, and he can feel her shake. At five minutes exactly she lets go, wipes her face. “Alright, let’s do this.” Pausing she looks at him. “...wow, you got old up on that ship.”

Absently, he touches his eye. The eye he still has now. “Huh...that’s going to take some getting use to. And my hearing is...different.”

“You look good.” 

He reaches up and touches her metal-free neck. “You too.”

Meh looks away abruptly, “We have work to do.”

“Right. We know the goals,” Nolan said as he pulled out some paper and charcoal sticks. “How do we accomplish them?”

“I’ll still have to plug directly into the computer to start,” Meh said as she took a seat. “There’s no way around it. From there I can take over the computer, program the autopilot, secure our rides home and give you access to the kids. The codes for everything are all right here.” Tapping her head. “I just don’t know how I’m going to survive afterwards.”

“We can’t take the protoform bed thingy with us.” Realization dawning. 

“No.” Shaking her head. “No way. The entire system is about the size of the room. Removing it would take days, which we don’t have.”

“What do you need to survive?”

“Blood transfusion, and some sort of surgery to close up the wounds. Otherwise it won’t matter how much blood you pump in me. I can do a quick-patch before we descend, but it will be very temporary. Hopefully that will be enough.”

“You have a clone in the mines.” Shrugging. “We can’t keep her. How do you feel about taking the blood?”

A long, pained silence. “....it makes sense, just don’t tell me about it later, alright?”

“Alright. What else?”

“You won’t be able to wake the kids on the ship. We don’t have time.”

“Grab the pods, then. And a portable powersource. I’ll fix the drones to do it. T’Evgin had more than a few in the mines, so using them for transfer shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll also need to create a drone access point for the main computer, to remotely begin the countdown to launch and get us all down safely. And set up an ambush for Kindzi.”

“I handled her the first time.” Pointedly. 

“We’re  _ not _ taking chances.” Flatly.

A moment of matched stares, but...she’s right. “Yeah, fine.” Rolling his eyes, then his stomach growls.

“What do you want?” Poking around the kitchen, because keeping him fed is just second-nature by now. 

“I can wait, Berlin gets up and makes eggs for everyone. I remember that.”

“C’mon, I’ll cook and you can take credit.” Shooting him a wry grin as she pulls out some bowls. 

He doesn’t find it amusing. “You aren’t going to be a hermit like before, alright? You cook, you take the credit.” Grinning at a sudden thought. “Besides, she might fall in love with you for your scrambled chork eggs.”

“Don’t even joke about that.” Giving him a half-hearted glare. “Yes, I...well, you know. But that doesn’t matter right now. The kids and the ship come first, and even after that...there is no contest. She loves you.”

“Alright.” Quietly, because he doesn’t want to fight about it right now. They’ve got bigger things to worry about. 

He helps her cook. He leaves at some point, and she hears the door open quietly behind her. She doesn’t look up from the electric pan where she’s cooking.

“Touch that and I’ll stab you.” In indojisnen.

“Doc?”

Meh whirls around. Its Amanda, who’s staring at her. Holy Christmas, she looks good. The doctor turns back quickly. “Sorry, thought you were someone else.” Muttered, trying not to let her hands shake.

“You’re cooking.” Disbelief.

“Uh...yes. I am.” Still facing the cooking pan. “It’s...a...thank you.” Clearing her throat. “For, uh...un-enslaving me. And not shooting first.”

“I didn’t know you could cook,” coming around to watch like she’s never seen anyone scramble chork eggs before. 

“Oh, I bet Doc’s got all sorts of hidden talents.” Nolan, appearing with the milk. He steals a bite. She just glares, and he grins. “No bad, Doc.” Offers a bit to Amanda. She tries it.

“That’s actually really good.” Surprised. 

Doc doesn’t reply, but she’s got a small smile as she dishes the rest onto a plate. Everyone starts filing in. She steps back out of the way, and in the rush all the food gets taken. Nolan realizes it, and after the conversation in the main room hands her his plate. There’s some left.

He still starts off with the good news. 

“Good news here is that by cutting off the Omec food supply, we’ve forced them to go out and hunt.”

“Yeah, but given what they’re hunting is us, how is that good news?” Amanda.

“Well, we’ve slowed them down.” Nolan.

“He’s right.” Meh. “When the Omec are first revived from the pods, they’re weak. Eating makes them stronger.”

“There’s no way Kindzi’s gonna bring down anymore Omec unless she’s got something to feed them.” Nolan. 

“Or someone.” Irisa.

“Okay, so we have a temporary advantage. How do we best exploit it?” Amanda.

“Doc and I have a plan, actually.” Nolan said as he shoveled more eggs in his mouth. “Go on, Doc. Tell ‘em.” 

She blinks, then nods. “Right. So...while I was hooked into their system, I learned some things. Like how there’s a planet I can send them to that they found on the way here.”

“Why didn’t they go there, then?”

“No gulanite. And no revenge. All primitive, unintelligent life forms, though, so it's a good fit for them.”

“We aren’t just going to blow it up and be done with this?” Berlin.

“No.” Meh, shortly. “Because I for one have had enough senseless death for a lifetime. Genocide is not a title I wish to add to my crimes against sentient beings as a whole.”

“She’s right, we can’t sink to their level.” Nolan. But less eloquent. 

“We’ll sneak on board, set the ship to autopilot, rescue the kids and get out.”

“What kids?” Amanda.

Nolan hands her the plate, so Meh can eat. “T’evgin was experimenting with genetic stock. There’s a few of his attempts still on board. We have to save them and bring them with us.”

“...if you say so.”

“They’re kids.” Nolan. “Innocents, alright? They deserve better than to be left to die alone in T’evgin’s lab.”

Datak bursts in, gun pointed at Meh who drops the plate.

“Whoo, whoa, whoa!” Doc.

“Doctor Yewll is working with the Omec!” Datak.

Nolan immediately gets between them. “Hey, stand down!”

“Nolan, get out of my way!” Datak.

“Yewll’s back on our team!” Nolan.

“Yeah, you sure about that?”

“Yes, I’m sure! We’re all sure!” Meh, in a higher voice that she likes to admit later. 

“Okay...okay, that’s a good thing.”

Meh in indojisnen to herself. “I can’t wait for this day to be over.” To Datak, english. “You’re not dead. That’s...good.”

“Yeah. You’re not either.” Putting down the gun. “Stamah, Alak and Luke are in the car. Can I-?”

“The more the merrier.” Nolan. Everyone gives him a look. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“It’s probably safer here.” Irisa. “I’ll go help.” Heads out the door.

“You ok?” Nolan to Meh.

“I completely forgot.”

“So did I. What’s wrong?”

“Just...not looking forward to hooking into the computer.” Shudders.

“So, how do we get onto the ship?” Amanda, breaking in with arms crossed.

“I need some paper.” Meh. “And table space.”

“I got it.” Nolan moving stuff. Everyone settles in.

“Alright, kids, gather round and pay attention. What we have here is the basic outline of an Omec harvester. The boarding party will be me accompanied by three brave volunteers. We’re gonna hijack their ship to surface transit pods and arrive here, on the transit pad.”

“How do you know so much about Omec ships?” Amanda.

“It’s entirely possible I’ve done this before, only with a more destructive goal in mind.” Meh. “We’re gonna go here, to the control center. We’re going to unplug the ark brain and wire me into the network. Someone is going to go after the kids, and get them back to the launch pad. I’m going to dial in the autopilot, and shoot them off to their new home.”

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Amanda.

“No.” Meh.

“But we can do it, right? There’s a chance.” Nolan.

“Yes.”

“And the launch pad will bring us back?” Amanda. “Even with the ark brain unhooked?”

“I’ve got it covered.”

“This is our ride home.” Datak, pushing.

“This is our only shot. You can either trust me, or you can sit on your ass and let the Omec take the planet. What’s it gonna be?”

“I’m in.” Nolan.

“Me too.” Amanda.

“And me.” Datak.

“No,” Stama. “Out of the question.”

“T’evgin’s daughter caged me. She threatened my family and my home. I will settle the score. If the Mayor will have me?”

“A ship full of Omec, a violent psychopath could come in handy.” Amanda.

“Be my pleasure to serve.” Datak.

“I married a fool.” Stamah in Castithan. She leaves.

“How long before we can leave?” Amanda to Meh.

“I’ll need 20 minutes to prep.” Meh.

“Ok, you do that.” Amanda. “I’m gonna address the town.”

“Remind people not to be heroes, and that goes for you too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Amanda.

“That you have a predisposition for taking risks.” Dryly. To Datak. “You, oh fool, are with me.”

“Oh, so you agree with my wife?” Tartly.

“Don’t take it personally. I think all men are fools.” She heads for the clinic, he follows. “However...thank you for saying it was T’evgin's daughter who locked you up and not me.”

“That’s because it wasn’t you, Meh. You aren’t responsible for what that monster made you do.” With quiet certainty.

“Yeah...maybe I’ll believe that too someday.” She has him pull out some things. Pack a bag, while she changes. The radio comes on, and they listen to Amanda’s speech. 

(Insert later)

Meh catches Datak watching. “You’re thoroughly smitten, aren’t you?”

“Disgusted?”

“No. Not anymore. The Mayor is a fine woman, if likely to hold a grudge.” He shrugs. “We all have faults. Your insistence on keeping everyone at arm’s length, for example.”

“Hm.” They exit the upper floor, see Alak watching Irisa and Luke. “How do you feel about that?”

“Proud,” he replied quietly. “He’s finally come into his own.”

“Kids, huh?” Quietly.

“Yeah.” Then looking at her. “Wait, what-?”

“Time to go. Better go say your goodbyes.” She goes inside and preps for surgery. Samir comes in.

“Doc, what are you-?”

“Just a feeling. Pull out every bandage we’ve got, get all the beds ready. If you have time, get plasma drips pulled and up on poles too.”

“...ok.”

Nolan busts in with Amanda. 

“Doc?!”

“Ready! Samir?”

“On it.” 

Amanda is only the first. Doc remembers the surgeries, the familiar faces and horrific wounds. She’s quick and thorough and able to stay just ahead of the flow. She circles back around to Amanda afterwards.

“Alright, set her up for that plasma transfusion.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Amanda starts to sit up.

“Lie still.” Doc.

“Doc, why-” Amanda.

“Listen very carefully Miss ‘I Insist on Saving Everyone’. You’ve got a hole in your abdomen, and if you keep moving its gonna reopen and blood is gonna gush out of you like Christmas. So stay still.” Doc.

“Why haven’t you left yet?” Amanda.

“Because the Omec are hunting everyone in town, and I am up to my elbows in blood, Missy.”

“You almost died.” Nolan. “Doc saved you. Saved a lot of people. We’d be digging a lot of new graves if not for her.”

Meh elbows him.

“Nobody’s life is important right now. Nothing’s important but getting on that ship and sending it on its way. I’m sorry, Nolan, but it's true. You have to leave.” Doc steps away.

“It’s just not a party without you.” Nolan. “Wish me luck?”

“You don’t need luck.”

Finish out the same. The only change is Nolan almost doesn’t kiss her. Doc is watching, giving instructions to Stamah and Samir. She does one final round before she leaves, and Amanda catches her sleeve.

“Doc...”

“You should be asleep.” Taking her arm, and tucking it gently back on the bed. “I’ll...see you soon, legs.”

She leaves, and gets in the back of the roller with Datak. There is a second roller, arranged by Nolan, with two volunteers in it. They know what they have to do. The ride is a silent one. She sees Nolan watching her from time to time. She ignores him. When they get to the mines, they stretch out a bit through the tunnels.

“Mad at me?” Nolan.

“No.”

“Sure seems like it.”

“I’m trying to focus on what’s ahead, like the fact that I’m about to be stabbed by several large needles without anesthesia.”

“It doesn’t mean I’ve won.”

“Like I said earlier, there is no contest. There never was.”

“So you are mad.”

“I’m...resigned.”

“Things could change.”

“You’re full of shit.” He smiles. “What?”

“She said the same thing.”

They arrive at the launch point. The two volunteers split off to 

“Ok, I’m online. We’re gonna go up one at a time.”

“I’ll run point.” Nolan, climbing up.

“Of course you are.” Rolling her eyes. “Ok, I hope you remembered to have a light lunch.”

Meh arrives on the ship. It felt...like home and yet not. Familiar, but missing details here and there.

“No sign of the Omec so far,” Nolan said as she stood up. “They must still be sleeping in their pods.” Grinning like a fool.

“Good, let’s keep it that way. Let’s go.”

“What is it?”

“Earth, from up here. I just...never thought I’d see it like this. Not in this lifetime.” (Ironic at the end.)

“Nolan, you know where you’re going?”

“Yep, got my map.” Tapping his chest. “I’ll be fine.”

“We’re heading topside, then.” Meh, leaving.

“I’ll see you soon, kiddo,” Nolan to Irisa. “Take care of Doc.”

“We will.” Seeing the child. “They have kids up here?”

“Evil comes in all shapes and sizes.” Datak.

“This is a child.” Irisa.

“A child blah blah blah-”

“You’re both right. And that’s why we’re sending them to a new home instead of just murdering them all.” Meh.

“You’re going in there.” Irisa, about the computer.

“I don’t have a choice.” Meh, flatly.

“Was that supposed to happen?” Datak.

“Just shut up and put the cable in. Neck port first. It’ll let me talk to the ship.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

Screams, etc.

“You’re not supposed to be here. System purge.”

“Command override ____ ___ ____ ____.” Omec words.

“Command override accepted.”

Meh sighs. “Ok.”

-090-

Amanda and Stamah talk. Stamah mentions people who strive to be their best self for her. Doc is on the list. This comes up again later.

-090-

“Nolan, can you hear me?”

“Yeah, almost there. How you holding up?”

“About as well as I hoped. I’m almost ready for the next step.”

“Hurry up. We’re not letting you bleed yourself dry.”

“Trying.” To Datak and Irisa. “The next two, here and here. In sequence.” She swears as they’re shoved through her palms. 

“Doc, I’m here.”

“Alright, alright....command sequence _____ ______ ____.”

_ Command accepted. _

“You in?”

“Yes, they’re here Meh. And they’re just fine.”

“Ok, I’m diverting five drones to you. Work fast.”

“I will.”

“Ok.” Meh to Datak and Irisa. “One more connection and I’ll be able to plot the course and set commands for launch of all the pods upon arrival. Hopefully, I can keep this up long enough.”

“You’re not coming back from this, are you? That’s what you and my dad are hiding.” Irisa.

“I might, but the odds aren’t great. For me...this might be a one way trip.”

“Why didn’t you tell us.” Datak.

“I thought the bag you packed would have been obvious. Also not a drama queen like you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Irisa.

“Don’t be. An artificial person is a tolerable loss.” Meh

“No, you’re a real person with enormous honor and infinite soul. And if there is way to help save you, I will.” Datak.

“Just....stick it in me, Sailor. Make it count.” Meh.

“Thank you for this, Meh.” Datak.

“If I don’t make it....I’m gonna miss you, pal.” Meh.

Fistful of needles to the brain later...

“Nolan?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in. Guess who’s come to visit?”

“Where is she?”

“Trapped...for now. The travel sequences and launch prompts are in. The eight drones are officially locked off from the rest. Do you have the armband.?”

“Yep, and its fully charged.”

“Good. Now for the less fun part.”

“Good luck, Meh.”

“Thanks, pal.”

-090-

Datak jumped when Meh’s voice boomed around him.

“It’s time.”

“What do I do?”

“Pull the plugs in reverse order. After you pull, slap a patch on it. If I’m very, very lucky, I just might live.”

“Got it.”

Irisa and Datak work together. Meh stays conscious, which is key. Using three drones, she retains control of the ship. Still lots of screaming.

“Ok,” she gasped as Datak finished sealing the patch on the back of her neck. “This ain’t gonna be pretty. I might pass out. Carry me to Nolan if I do, he’ll be able to assume control of the drones.”

“How do we stop the bleeding?”

“This suit was signed to do so temporarily on the lower half. Two shots, one in each leg, should buy me an hour or two.” Shrugging. “Maybe.”

“Let’s go.”

Meh releases the arkbrain. Irisa catches her, and drags her free. Datak administers the shots, there’s still blood everywhere. Meh passes out, and Datak picks her up. Irisa gets the bag and leads the way out.

-090-

They meet Nolan by the launch pad, and see Kindzi to one side, held in place by drones.

“Ok kiddo, you’re going first,” Nolan said as he took off the armband and gave it to her. “Datak, wake Meh up, we need her.”

“Nolan, she’s in excruciating pain.”

“Believe me, I know. But we need her.”

Datak does so. Meh rouses.

“You up, Doc?” Nolan.

“Want to die.”

“Not yet.” Turning Datak so Meh can see Kindzi. “So what’s the plan?”

“Don’t have one.” Eyes sliding shut.

“No, no, no.” Nolan, patting her cheek. “Stay awake, Meh. C’mon, girl.” Wincing. “Cueball?”

She weakly punches him. “I  _ hate _ that name.”

“Thatta girl. Now: Kindzi. Plan. We can’t leave her here.”

“N-no.” Blinking rapidly.

“So what do we do?”

“The VC.” Datak.

Nolan. “What?”

“Take her prisoner, give her to the VC. That, and strong endorsements from upstanding Defiance citizens...might be enough to save your scrawny neck, Nolan.”

“It would be justice,” Meh agreed quietly. “Also...we need to go. This ship launches in five minutes.”

“Can you keep her pinned with three drones?”

“Let’s hope so.”

Set up the launch sequence. Kindzi self-destructs her pod on the way down. She does not survive. 

Meh was able to decide where the pods would land within a radius. Their two volunteers and the two rollers are waiting just on the edge of it. Come rolling up as soon as both pods have opened up. Nolan takes the bag of blood and immediately hooks Meh up to it, the volunteers help Irisa load up the pods and prepare to leave. They have their orders. Doc is sitting in the grass with Meh in his lap, Nolan inserting the bloodline and Irisa putting more bandages on her to stem the steady flow of blood. 

“She won’t wake,” he gasps, Datak.

“Hold her still.” Nolan, attaching a second line to the bag. He puts the needle in her arm, ties it down, lets it flow.

“What now?” Datak.

“We wait.” Nolan. “One hour. If she’s still breathing but not conscious, we give her this shot.” He pulls it out of his pocket.

“Did she tell you what it does?”

“Just that at the end of it, either she would be alive...or not.” Sees Datak’s look. “What?”

“I’m honestly a little surprised she entrusted you with such an item.”

“Yeah, well...we were both captives of the Omec. It changes the way you see people.”

“The roller is ready.” Irisa, pulling open the doors. “Got places to hang the bags, too.”

“Can you lift her?” Nolan.

“Yes. And it’s funny. Being in prison together is how Meh and I became friends as well.” Considering. Holding Meh and getting to his feet, not protesting when Nolan catches his elbow and helps.

“I don’t like you, Datak.”

“Nor I you, Nolan.”

“But...I respect what you’ve sacrificed for your family. And for Defiance.”

“And you would do the same for your family.”

“Yes, I would.”

Meh starts shivering. They realize the blood is ice cold and dropping her temp. They hurry to get her in the vehicle and end up sitting with her propped between them, blankets wrapped about all three. 

Datak clears his throat. “We will never speak of this again.”

“Never.” Nolan agreed gruffly. Irisa just hid a smile and made sure everything needed and stuffed into the front passenger seat beside her. She gets them moving, at a slow pace. Where they are, away from the roads, they can’t go too fast just yet or risk losing control. 

“I dunno,” Meh mumbled into Nolan’s shoulder. “This may be a story worth telling later. The one time I woke up between two big guys and was happy about it.”

“Wake up between random men often, Meh?” Datak.

“Only when Mama’s had too much to drink.”

“Doc, I don’t think you’ve gotten drunk ever.” Nolan.

“This is unfortunately true, but a girl can dream.”

“I’ll take you out myself,” Datak said. “I’d say you’ve earned it.”

“Won’t work.” Nolan.

“Why not?”

“She’s got that...thing. Where her stomach is hyper efficient.” looks at his shirt because it feels damp. “Meh?”

“Hm?” Eyes closed again.

“You’re leaking.”

“Damnit. Alright, well, it was probably wishful thinking to hope it would go better than this. Nolan? You know what to do?”

“On it, Doc.” To Irisa. “How far are we from the road, Irisa?”

“Couple miles, I think. And this is not the best place to gun it-”

“Just keep going,” Doc, words starting to slur. “You’re doing fine. We don’t flip over, I’ll give you a gold star later.”

“Thanks, Doc.” 

Datak feels Meh absently feeling his arm. “Getting handsy there, Meh? Careful, might wife might get jealous.”

“Checking out your bionic arm. It's nice work.” Absently. “I’d like a closer look when I’m not on the verge of passing out.”

“Anything for your, friend.”

“Stop it.”

“What?”

“Stop treating me like some...hero.”

“You are a hero.”

“So are you, but you don’t see me kissing your feet.”

“Ha! Well...one might say that what I did was small potatoes compared to you. I saved Defiance. You saved the world.” Nolan leans forward to ask Irisa something.

“ _ Nolan _ saved the world.” Quietly, for Datak’s ears alone. In Castithan.

“I mean, he did his part, but-”

“No, that’s the story we tell everyone. Nolan’s the hero. We helped, but he gets the credit.”

“....you’re hoping to protect him. By making a big deal about this.”

“Look, you and I were imprisoned for things we actually did, alright? It sucked but...we earned it. I pissed off the E-Rep, you murdered a guy. But if I’m not going to be prosecuted for drugging, caging and then handing over citizens of Defiance to be slaughtered because of the Omec control rod, then he shouldn’t be for ark-brain delusions he got from helping save the world the first friggin’ time.”

“...I see your point.”

“Are you more upset  _ he’s _ getting the credit, or that I’m not.”

“Both are irksome. But...” In Castithan. “You paid blood to save the town. It owes you a blood debt.”

“I took blood in the service of the Omec. The debt is cancelled, and the scales balanced.” Also in Castithan. Then in English. “If you believe in that sort of thing.”

“Oh yes, I forgot. You’re an atheist.” Rolling his eyes.

“You practically are too, half the time.”

“Actually, I’m more agnostic. If we’re going to argue language.” No response. “Meh?”

“Hm?”

“Stay awake.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Insult me. Tell me how I’m a fool again.”

“That’s no fun if you’re literally asking for it.” 

“I’m never asking for it, you are just so expertly good at finding my weak points.”

“Now you’re being too...” Eyes rolling up. “Compli....”

“Nolan!” Datak, getting his attention again.

“Irisa, how close-”

“We’re here!”

“Floor it!”

She does.

They come tearing into town.

At the clinic, they are greeted at the front by Stamah. “Datak!”

“Not now, my love,” he hurries by her with Meh in his arms. She frowns until she sees the trail of blood. It is a visible wake from the roller into the clinic, and Nolan and Datak are both soaked in it.

“Samir!” Nolan, charging on.

“Oh, thank god, we need Doc to-” Sees Doc. “Oh, no no no...is she alright?”

“Does she look alright, numbnuts?” Nolan hangs the bag on an open bed Datak lays Meh in. “Get bandages to put pressure on one of those patches.”

“Ok ok...” Samir hurries off.

“We were counting on her to come back able to work,” Stamah said quietly. “We have more wounded, and Amanda...”

“We’ll save her first, then,” Nolan said simply. “Grab a bandage, slow the bleeding. I’m going to close them all up.”

“With that?” Samir.

“This.” Nolan holds up a tool. “It’s an Omec thing. And it works, but its going to hurt, so you’re going to need to hold her down. Irisa?”

“Yes?”

To her alone. “Talk to her. Tell her the kids are fine. Tell her that, that they’re going to want to see her, so she needs to stay awake. So stay with us, arlight?”

Starts to question it, sees the look in his eyes. “Got it.”

“Datak, hold her down.” Nolan.

“Stamah, that leg.” Datak.

Nolan, whispered, “Hold on, Meh, we’ve almost made it home free.”

She doesn’t respond. He gets to work. Each hole has a piece of skin laid on it that he then ‘solders’ into place using the tool. Later Datak asks him where the skin came from. Nolan doesn’t answer, does say something about Meh saying he deserves whatever nightmares he gets from it for the first time. Datak laughs.

As the extent of the damage is revealed, a few have to choke back vomit. Meh has ragged holes in the top of her head, the back of her neck, both hands, the front of one shoulder. Meh comes to about halfway through, and Irisa immediately takes over talking to her. One hand on her face, very assuring. Meh’s mostly screaming and crying through the cloth in her mouth so she doesn’t bite through her tongue. Then they get to her legs. Each puncture is fairly small, but they start at her hips and march down both legs to her feet. Nolan carefully cuts away each piece of her suit, keeping her modesty as much as he can. The skin is laid on in strips. Its lumpy and ugly, but sufficient and effective.

At the end, Nolan sits back and wipes his face, breathing hard.

“You alright, Lawkeeper?” Datak, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“No,” Nolan said as he rubbed his face. “I haven't’ slept in 24 hours. Or eaten. And the work’s not done yet.”

Meh spits the cloth out, breathing hard. “Got that right, soldier boy.” Her voice is cracked and raw. “Sit me up, there’s people who need saving.”

Samir rushes over. “No, you can't even stand. How are you-?”

“Get me a wheelchair.” Meh, overriding him. “And a robe and some blankets, I’m freezing. You and Nolan will be my hands. I’ll tell you what I want to do.”

“Doctor Yewll, I must protest. You’re in no condition-”

“I can see three patients just from where I lay that need surgery or they’re dead or permanently disabled in some way. You’ve got some moves, kid, but not the knowledge. You need more help, or people are going to die.”

“...alright. But you stay hooked up to the heart monitors, and if you start to tank you’re out.”

“If that makes you feel better, sure.” Nolan opens his mouth, Meh gives him a look. He shuts it again.

“A wheelchair,” Meh repeated quietly. “And a robe and blankets. Then we’ll start with Amanda.”

Irisa wheels her around, and Nolan and Samir do the work. Several times Meh gives instructions in indojinese, and Nolan translates. Amanda gets restitched, she popped a few. More plasma transfused. There’s a fractured leg bone on a Castithan and severe bite marks on a human. Surgery after surgery goes by. Nolan calls a halt when Meh takes two or three tries to answer. They start to pick her up.

“Leave me in the chair.”

“That can’t be comfortable.” Irisa.

“I’ve finally stopped hurting.” Meh.

“Cover her up. We need the bed space for someone else.” Nolan.

“Who’s that?” Datak, looking around.

“Me.” Nolan. He strips the bed of bloody clothes, and then lays down. “Wake me in a few hours. Samir, can you handle things for that long?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I will assist him.” Stamah.

“There’s probably a free bench out front.” Datak, rubbing his face. “Wake me if you need a hand.”

“I will, dearest.” Stamah.

Meh watched all this with eyes sliding inexorably shut, and wondered if she would be able to open them again.

-090-

Meh woke to someone gently cleaning her face with warm water. Opening her eyes, she hoarsely groaned.

“There she is,” Nolan said as he rinsed out his rag. “How do you feel?”

“Like a million bucks,” she rasped. “You?”

“Happiest I’ve been in years,” he admitted quietly. Switching into Indojinse. “We did it. We saw the Omec off safely, grabbed the kids, and made it back down alive and almost in one piece.”

“Almost in one piece is right.” Closing her eyes again.

“Thirsty?”

“Yeah.” He holds out a cup with a straw for her. “Thanks.”

“You owe me, by the way.”

“Do I?”

“For not ratting you out to Samir.” He starts to clean her face again. “Since indogenes can control things like you know,  _ heart rate _ -”

“You needed me.” Glancing over. “And speaking of people we need...look who else is awake.” Nolan looks up and sees Amanda watching them. Switching to English. “It’s our favorite heroic mayor.”

“I’m not the hero,” Amanda rasped. “What’s wrong with you, Doc?”

“Mostly the gaping hole in my heart.” Eyes closing again.

“Can’t be that bad if you’re cracking jokes.”

“Trust me, it was,” Nolan quietly. “Be glad you missed it. How are you feeling? We got you stitched back up.”

“I had this crazy dream you were the one doing the stitching.” Amanda

“Wasn’t a dream.” Doc. She barely lifts one wrapped hand.

“She talked me through it.” Nolan quickly. “And said I did fine.”

“Huh. Thinking about switching professions on us?”

“No.” He laughs quietly. “Not in this lifetime. But I don’t mind helping out when Doc needs it-”

“Bucket.”

“Meh?”

“Bucket, now!” Stamah is the one who understands, and dives forward with a basin. Catches the vomit just in time. It looks like tar.

“Meh?” Nolan helping support her. “Easy, easy, just let it all out.”

“Ugh.” She rests her head on his arm. “Impurities, purged from the clone blood and skin. Get me water and wheel me out back.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve got at least a few more rounds to go, and I’d rather do it in private.”

“Alright, Doc, let’s go.” Nolan wheels her away, and doesn’t come back. Describe Amanda’s view and what the others are doing. When she wakes up, Doc is back. She notices for the first time all the blood that cakes the indogene from the neck down. 

“Thirsty?” Irisa at Amanda’s shoulder. She helps the Mayor drink. 

“Thanks.” Glancing around describe the changes and time.

“Need anything else?”

“A new body?”

“Fresh out, sorry.” Grinning a little bit.

“Is the town ok? Did we...?”

“We did it,” she replied quickly. “Sent the ship away to a new home. Saved the kids on board. And the last Omec was caught yesterday. Some guy shot him before Berlin could stop him. Hard to blame him, his wife was one of the first victims.”

“Ah.” Glancing at Meh.

“She and Alak are still leading patrols, though. Everything else is fine.”

“Good, good.” Looking around. “There’s fewer people.”

“Mostly sent on home.” Irisa, quietly. “And a few that didn’t make it.”

“I see.”

“Doc tried, but she’s lucky she was able to do as much as she did before she passed out.”

“Who’s blood is she covered in?”

“Her own.” Amanda just looks at her. “Yeah, I know. Its something I wish I could forget. Plugging her into an ark brain being at the top of the list.”

“I’m not a Doctor.” Amanda. “But I’m fairly sure that much blood loss typically isn’t survivable.”

“You’re right.” Doc, hoarse whisper. “But my nurse is annoying and won’t let me die.”

“Did we wake you up?” Irisa.

“Nope, that was the pain.” Barely moving. A single tear runs down one cheek. 

“Can we get you anything?” Irisa.

“No.” Swallowing. “Just have to...wait it out.”

“You want me to get Nolan?”

“No. He just stares like a sad puppy.”

“Scoot her over here.” Amanda, waving a hand next to her.

“Hm?” Meh cracks an eye.

“You once told me that skin to skin contact boosts your immune system and wards against infection. Is that true or are you as full of shit as Nolan?”

“No, that one is true.” Amanda reaches for her. “Wrist. Not the hand.” She does so.

“That one?” Amanda rejoined quietly. 

“Apples will not keep me away. I like them.”

“How long will I have to lie here?”

“Few days.” A pause. “Your adventure really messed things up.”

“I saved lives.”

“Hero complex.” Mildly.

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“This is my penance.”

“Doc...it wasn’t your fault.” 

“Do you believe that? When you gave them permission to enter the town?”

Amanda doesn’t reply.

“Yeah...that’s how much I believe it too.”

It's quiet for a few hours. 

Nolan appears. “You’re up.” Sees Amanda holding her wrist. Indojinse. “Really? You’re playing the sick card to hit on her.”

“It was her idea.” Smirking slightly .”Clearing I am just that irresistible.”

“What was that?” Amanda.

“Indojinse.” Thinking quickly. “When Kindzi yanked the ark tech from my brain, she uh....improved me a bit.” Clearing his throat. “I’m not sure how she did it, or if it’ll stick. But it's kinda cool for now.”

“Doc, could it be dangerous?”

“If he’s not dead yet, probably not. I’ll check when I’m up again. Speaking of which...” To Nolan. “It’s time.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” Flexing the bandaged hand Amanda isn’t holding. “Everything is upstairs. Can you take me, or do I need to get someone else?”

“What, you think Samir the doggy-doc is gonna be able to haul your metal ass up those stairs?”

“No, but Datak and his bionic arm could probably manage if my metal ass is too much for you.”

“Did I hear my name?” Datak entering the room, he looks pristine.

“No.” Nolan quickly. “Must be hearing things. C’mon Doc, let’s go.”

“Do you require assistance with something, Doctor Yewll?” Stepping in the way of the wheelchair. “I would be honored to assist if you’re concerned about being in the hands of a ham-fisted oaf.”

“Ham-fisted oaf?” Nolan. “Seriously? Could you be any more pretentious?”

“Of all the people in the world to fight over me, why the hell does it have to be you two?” Meh, clearly annoyed. “Friggin’  _ sausage fest _ ...”

“And you’re both acting weird, so I’ll help her instead.” Irisa, taking the chair from her father.

“You won’t be able to get her up the stairs by yourself, kiddo.” Nolan. “Just let me-”

“I believe, with some assistance, Irisa will manage just fine.” Stamah. “And I also find your unusual behavior...unbecoming.” They leave, Meh muttering to herself. 

“Well, at least she’s in competent hands now.” Datak, as if to himself. “Excuse me, I am going to see if Samir requires any help.”

“Competent help, that chupping-”

“Nolan, what the hell was that about?” Amanda, from her bed.

He looks at her, then away. “Nothing.” He knows as soon as he says it it’s the wrong thing to say.

“Nothing? You’re fighting over Doc about nothing? Is there something I should know?” Giving him a hard look. 

“About what?” Trying to play it off. 

“About you and ‘Meh’?” The emphasis comes with raised eyebrows, and a dangerous tilt to her voice. 

“Sure.” Sniffs. “We’re best friends.” Said as plainly as possible. 

“Fine, whatever. I’m too tired for this right now.” Rubbing her face. 

“Go back to sleep, then.” Helping her pull her blanket back up. “We can talk later.”

“Yes we will.” Grumbled. 

Nolan is a little worried now.

-090-

They get to the top of the stairs without incident, and Irisa opened the door to let them in. The lab/bedroom was exactly as Meh had left it. Which meant it was a mess of her work with only a tiny corner set aside for her to live in.

“Sink is over there,” Meh said, pointing with one wrapped hand. “I’ve got to wash off the sloughed skin and dried blood. Otherwise I’m risking sores.”

“And you were going to let my dad help you with this?”

“I was going to let him carry me upstairs and hope I didn’t pass out while washing up.” Not entirely a lie. She might still pass out.

“Well, I think we can manage better than that.” Stamah helped Meh into a chair. “Besides, I have some questions for you, Doctor Yewll.” Starts to undress her.

“I do too.” Irisa, bringing over a bowl of warmish water. “Like since when are you and my dad buddies?”

“We came to an understanding,” Meh said faintly as Stamah gently peeled away the fabric stuck to her body. “Oh Christmas.”

“When?”

“Ask him, he’s not being skinned alive today.” The back of her suit comes away, and she hisses in pain. 

In Casti. “We have another word for reaching an ‘understanding’. Is that what you have with my husband?”

“If I was going to sleep with a Tarr, it wouldn’t be your husband.” Glancing speculatively at her. “Though your lovers have a distressing habit of dying.”

“Besides, she’s got a crush on Amanda.” Irisa, off hand.

Meh shoots her a look. “Says who?”

“Please, I have eyes and ears. And so does my dad. Which is why I’m surprised he’s being friendly with you.”

Meh starts to reply, and Stamah wipes away the dried skin on the back of her neck and shoulders. Instead a choked mewl comes out. 

“Was that wrong?” Stamah, concerned.

“Nope, that’s exactly how it's supposed to feel.” Barely breathing. To Irisa. “Clearly your father isn’t worried. And I’d say he really doesn’t have a reason to be, wouldn’t you?” Irisa squints at her. “What?”

“I just didn’t think you were the giving up type.” Irisa.

“Yeah, well...maybe I’m tired of fighting.” Yelps as Stamah wipes the top of her head clean. Whimpers as a large chunk of dried skin comes away. “Oh...this is so much worse than last time.”

“When was the last time?” Stamah, curiously.

Doc laughs, but not a happy one. “Years ago. In another lifetime, in fact.” She laughs again, and it turns to a gasp as Stamah unwraps her hands. The skin over each wound is darker than the rest. Doc shudders as each palm is washed in a fresh basin of water. Carefully flexes her hands afterwards, then glances at her bare top. “A shirt please.”

“Shy, Doc?” Irisa still digs through the pile and finds one. Long-sleeved, high neck. Helps Doc pull it on as she’s still stiff and slow. Stama finds a pair of scissors and starts to cut away the bottom sections of bandaging.

“Try freezing,” the indogene replied tightly as blood-soaked pads were gently peeled away. “That’s not exactly warm water you’re using. The heat hasn’t been on in over a week up here, and I’m still recovering.” She whimpers in dismay when she sees the thick layers of discarded skin stuck to her calves and thighs.

“Here.” Irisa drags over a chair, and sits next to her with legs facing away from Stamah. “Hold on to me.” Wraps her in a sort of sideways hug. Logically, Irisa shouldn’t smell like Nolan. They’re two different races, ages, genders...but they still do. Even their hugs feel the same, and it helps Meh relax into what’s about to happen. 

“Are you ready?” Stamah

“Yeah,” Quietly.

Irisa doesn’t let go, and Meh keeps her head buried in the girl’s shoulder as Stamah works. The dried skin washes away to reveal darker patches of whole skin, like before. Meh is still shaking after the fact. Stamah finds some what are essentially leggings, and they help her into them. Socks and shoes follow. Then one of Meh’s high-necked coats. Irisa runs down to get her something to eat, and Stamah puts together what’s bothering her about Doc’s face.

“You wear makeup.” Blurted out.

“So?” Smirking a bit around the pain. “A girl can’t enjoy feeling pretty?”

“Where do you keep it?”

“By the sink, but don’t bother. My hands are shaking too much.”

“Mine are not.” Retrieving the box. It's neatly arranged, and has everything in shades of grey or adjacent colors. “I have always found that when I am not well myself, making myself up makes me feel more like...me.” Studying Doc. “I think I can replicate what you usually do.”

“Well, seeing as how I’m in no position to stop you.”

‘Almost’ is the right word for it, in general it's a softer look than Meh usually goes for.

“I think it suits you,” Stamah. Irisa comes back, and Meh eats a few bites while she and Stamah clean up from her sponge bath. She tries to ignore how much discarded skin there is. The pain is now mostly the bone-deep ache of weariness. She still insists on seeing her patients when they reach the bottom of the stairs. They wheel her around as she checks people over. She congratulates Samir on not screwing up and sends him home.

“Doc? What do you mean, go home?”

“I mean you stink, you look like you haven’t slept in three days, and you need to eat something. So go home, and do those things.”

“No offense, Doctor Yewll, but you don’t look so good yourself.”

“I have some help, and its because I don’t feel good that I need you to rest.” Completely serious. “This isn't going tobe a quick recovery, and you’re going to be running things for awhile. That means you have to pace yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint.”

“Oh, Ok. Ok, then...I’ll go home and sleep and...relieve you tomorrow morning?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

“Alright. Thank you. I won’t let you down.”

“Not if you still want a job, you won’t.” Almost cheerful. Samir freezes. Nolan claps him on the shoulder.

“She’s joking. Probably. Go on, before she changes her mind.” Giving him a shove towards the door. To Meh. “How are you?”   
  


In indojisnen. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss the ship.”

“I think you mean the protoform healing pods.”

“Yes, those. I’d be almost normal by now if we had one of those.” Flexing her hands. “And not nearly as shaky.”

“It hurt less, too.” Quietly.

She meets his gaze, then looks away. “Stop staring at me like I’m dying. I can’t take any more of the sad-puppy look.”

“I don’t like seeing you in pain. I’m sorry.”

“Then go away.”

“I checked on the kids. They’re doing just fine.”

“Good.” Guilty Because she’s hardly even thought of them.

“Hey, don’t start that.”

“Start what?”

“Blaming yourself for not being able to do everything.”

“I want to wake up Richard by the end of the week. He’ll be able to help me with the others once they’re awake.”

“You mean ‘us’.”

“You don’t have to do that, Nolan.”

“Yeah I do. I’m their Uncle Jo.” Squeezing her shoulder, then letting go when he sees Amanda watching from across the room. “I...may have let something slip with Amanda.”

“Of course you did.”

“And I want to tell her the truth.”

“She’s not going to believe you.”

“She might if Richard tells her.”

“...that might work.” Considers. “Alright. When we wake him up, she can be there too.”

“And we’ll tell her the truth. Together.”

“It’s not going to change anything, Nolan. You’ve clearly won. Now go spend time with her before she changes her mind.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Sit here and pretend to supervise while I sleep.”

“Alright, Doc. You get some rest.”

“And you go get the girl.”

He does. She closes her eyes, even though she’s not really that tired, because it's easier than watching. To her surprise, she does in fact sleep.

-090-

Berlin comes in to check on Amanda, finds her changed and tucked in a different bed.

“You got up?”

“No. Stama and Irisa picked me up like a baby and cleaned me up.” Grumbling. “It was humiliating.”

“How much longer until you’re up and about?” Hiding her grin.

“Doc said if I don’t get an infection and I can stand on my own, I can be out in two or three more days.”

“No plastiderm?”

“No. She used it all on patients who needed it to live.” Grumbling. “Or at least that’s what she said.”

“Well...it could be worse.”

“How so?”

“Nolan might not have come back.”

“Yeah...” Not as enthusiastic as she expected.

“What?”

“He’s been...strange since they got back.”

“Really?”

“Just...spending a lot of time with Doc.”

“Doctor Yewll?” Frowning. “What for?”

“I don’t know. They keep talking to each other in indojisnen.”

“Since when does Nolan speak that?”

“Since the Omec messed with his brain, apparently.”

“That sounds dangerous. He isn’t worried?”

“No, and neither is Doc. She’s acting strangely too.”

“Ah...” Berlin goes quiet.

“What?”

“I saw them bring her in.” Looking away. “I’m honestly surprised she’s still alive.”

“Me too, sister.” It’s Doc. She looks better, but still awful. Slowly rolling herself along. “I need to borrow Berlin, if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Doc starts to wheel herself away. Its slow and painful. Berlin takes over. “Where to, Doctor Yewll?”

“Here is fine.” Berlin stops, walks around to the front. Meh pulls out a list. “I need you to check on these families.”

“Why?” Glancing the list over.

“...they’re the families of people I fed to the Omec.” Not looking at Berlin. “Just...make sure there’s food on the table and someone to watch the kids if they had any, alright?” Clearing her throat. “If they need more help, we’ll...I’ll figure something out later.”

“No on blames you, Doc.”

“Look me in the face and say that.” Berlin can’t. “Just let me know if they need something, alright?”

“...yeah, alright.”

“And unless it really is an emergency, you need to let Amanda rest.”

“She’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, but only if she rests. Visits are fine, but no work.”

“Got it.”

“Speaking of rest...are you getting enough, Doc?”

“Don’t you start too.” Giving her a frown. “There’s already two mother hens circling the room.” Sitting up a little straighter, glancing around surreptitiously. 

“Alright, I’ll take care of this.”

“Thanks.”

Nolan strolled up as Berlin left. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, now go hover over your girlfriend before she starts giving me suspicious looks again.”

“Doc, I think you’re imagining things.”

“For someone who only loves women, you really don’t understand them at all, do you?”

“Well...no. But here’s the thing.” Switching to indojisnen. “We’re best friends, alright? Twelve years together, and eleven of those years just the two of us, I know you better than I know anyone else on this planet. I look at you, and sometime feel like I can  _ hear _ what you’re thinking. And that’s not going to change just because we made it home.”

“And you think Amanda’s going to be ok with that? Just...accept it and move on.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then you are a fool.”

“But you still like me.” He squeezes her wrist and leaves.

Datak appears a moment later. “Meh, are you-”

“Don’t,” she interrupted him sharply. “You already know the answer, and I’m tired of saying it.”

“...fair enough. Stamah brought some pow stew to share for dinner. Would you like some?”

“...actually, yes. That sounds nice.” She doesn’t notice Nolan watching as Datak wheels her to another room, but Amanda does.

“So, you ready to tell me about it now?” she asked quietly.

“About what?” Whipping his head back around.

“About what’s going on with you and Doctor Yewll.”

“Actually, Doc said she would help me with that conversation, and it’ll probably be a long one.”

“You need her help to explain.” Incredulous

“Yeah. It's...complicated. And involves the Omec.”

“...ok. But of course, Doc is busy, so it won’t be today, will it?”

“Just a few more days, I promise. It’ll all make sense after that.”

“...alright. I can wait.”

“Thank you.” Kissing her on the forehead. That actually helps, because he hasn’t kissed Meh. That she’s seen, anyways. That he stays and talks to her for another few hours helps more.

That night, though, he asks Meh if she needs help upstairs and she laughs. 

“And how the hell am I getting back down if anyone needs something?” Incredulous look. “I’ll sleep in the chair tonight, where I’m actually of some use.”

“That’s stupid, you won’t get any rest.”

“Samir is back in the morning. Someone can haul my metal ass upstairs then.”

“Well, then I guess I’m staying too.”

“Now that  _ is _ stupid.”

Squatting beside her. “...it feels weird not to sleep in the same room as you.”

She doesn’t admit that she feels the same. “Better get used to it. First off, however she feels, she’s not going to be alright with you spending the night at my place. Nor do I want to listen to you going at it all night. That’s just insult to injury.”

“I don’t feel right leaving you alone.”

“I won’t be, once all the kids are up. I’ll be so busy with all five, I’ll hardly have time to think let alone miss you.”

“It’s gonna be hard being away from the kids.”

“They’ll miss you, but we’ll manage.”

“...you know it might not be possible to save all five, right?”

“Don’t say that.”

“Meh, you’ve got to prepare yourself. Our equipment isn’t as good...”

“I’m going to save them.  _ All _ of them. He said it could be done, and I’m going to do it.”

“Meh, a chance isn’t a guarantee.”

“ _ It is for me _ .” Not yelled, but very intense. She takes a deep breath. “Fine, you can stay. Take the open bed next to Amanda.”

“Why that one?”

“There’s room for me on the other side to park.”

“You’re the best, you know that?” Wide smile.

“Don’t get used to it.” Warning, but also smiling slightly. “Roll me over to the counter. “I need to get a few things, then check on everyone.”

“You got it, Doc.”

There’s only five patients left, though three of them had family members with them most of the day. Amanda and an old lady are the exceptions. After the rounds, Meh has Nolan leave her next to Mrs. Bartowski, and sends Nolan away.

They chat for awhile. Mostly about the harvest. Meh can see Amanda and Nolan out of the corner of her eye. They’re both smiling, and it warms and hurts at the same time. Because it's hard not to love the person who makes the person you love happy. And she loves them both in different ways. But it's still hard not to be hurt. Eventually, she kicks out all the family, and starts to close up for the night. Nolan settles in the spare bed, scooted over so he and Amanda can hold hands. Meh is starting to move around a little better, and finishes turning off the lights and locking the doors. She does a final check on everyone, and rolls to the open space on Nolan’s other side. His free hand reaches over to rest on her shoulder (she has her back to him) and they all sleep.

-090-

Meh wakes up  _ super _ early, and immediately needs the bathroom. She gives her legs a stretch, and decides to give them a try. She’s shaking and sore, but it feels good to be upright again. She uses the bathroom, and slowly walks back to the mainroom. Amanda is awake, and Meh slowly walks over to check on her.

“Sleep well?” she asked in a low whisper, doing doctor things.

“I gotta pee, Doc.”

“Let me see your stitches.” She checks the incision. “Do you want me to wake up sleeping beauty to carry you or try a spin in the wheelchair.”

“Wheelchair.”

“Sit tight.” She wheels the chair around. It's a slow process, getting Amanda up and a painful one. But the Mayor feels better for it. Meh is slow wheeling her to the bathroom, but they make it eventually. Meh stands with the door cracked while Amanda pees. She chuckles.

“What?”

“You’ll sleep with a guy, but you don’t want him in the room while you pee.”

“It’s just...different, alright?” Slowly dressing herself. “You’ve probably seen 2/3rds of Defiance naked, right? It doesn't...mean anything to you.”

“Of course, not, I’m just the Doctor.” Quietly and mostly to herself. “So, you ready?”

“Yeah.” Meh helps her back to the chair. She starts wheeling her back to the front room when Nolan hurries in. “Doc? Amanda? Where-” He sees them and stares for a minute. “Sorry, I thought...something must’ve happened, or-”

“She’s fine, lover boy.” Meh pushes the chair to him and stops. To Amanda. “Make him get you something to eat. Stay in the chair as long as you like, ask for help when you want to lay back down. If you stay active and things look good, you can sleep in your own bed tonight provided there’s someone around to help you get up and down.”

Amanda looks at Nolan, who says with a tight smile. “Trying to get rid of me.”

In indojisnen. “I’m trying to help you. And no sex, her stitches aren’t ready for that.”

“C’mon, Doc, I’m not that stupid.” In english. She shrugs, and carefully walks away.

“Food?” Amanda, by the time Nolan is done, Meh is gone and Samir takes her place. Nolan asks him where Meh is, and he points upwards.

“Did she make it upstairs alright?”

“I don’t know.”

“I should go check on her.”

“No need.” Datak. “I helped her get settled. She’ll probably sleep for awhile, so best to leave her alone.”

“Sure.” Nolan doesn’t look happy.

“Perhaps your time would be better served keeping Amanda company? Or even checking in with Berlin who has shouldered most of the duties of Lawkeeper and Mayor in your combined and extended absence.”

“Oh? You mean you haven’t been volunteering your services?”

“As a matter of fact, I have. My family blah blah blah. Alak has been assisting with Lawkeeper duties, I spent a few hours in Town Hall dealing with concerned citizens, and my wife has been tending to our wounded here in the clinic.”

“Good for you.” Clapping him roughly on the shoulder. “I’m off to clean up.”

“I didn’t want to appear rude, but...you are a little ripe.”

“Right.” Tight smile. To Amanda. “I have my hailer, chirp me if you need something.”

“I’ll be fine.” Quick kiss and he goes, grumpy all around. She still wonders.

-090-

Meh woke with the distinct impression she was being watched. Rolling over, she runs into Stamah who’s sitting on her bed.

“Holy Christmas!” Sitting up and scooting away. “What the hell are you playing at?!”

“Debating whether or not I could convince you to be my lover.” Touching her face. “While Datak is a most satisfying partner, there are things a woman simply  _ understands _ better.”

Meh smacks her hand away, and scoots out of bed hurriedly, pulling on her clothes as she does. Stamah follows her with her eyes, hungrily. “And what makes you think I would be a good choice?” Dryly.

“Your visage is appealing, and for whatever reason my husband sees you as an equal and a friend. I believe if you approached him in the right way, it would be easy to convince him to agree. But beyond that...you have experience.” She holds up a thin, silver bracelet of an oily looking metal. “Irisa may not know what this is, but I do.”

Meh snatches it away, shoves it back in its bag, and tosses it in a drawer. “No.”

“Why?”

“Kenya Rosewater.”

“So this is about Amanda, then?”

“No, this is genuinely about Kenya.” Shaking her head. “I get that Castithan family dynamics are tough. And I understand that love can be...complicated. But I also knew Kenya. I knew the scars on her body on the abuse she had suffered.”

“You were also her lover.” Unsurprised. 

“No, just her doctor. But she had a gift, didn’t she, for knowing what people needed. She was one of the few people in town who genuinely brought joy to so many. And for the most selfish of reasons, you snuffed her life out.”

“Does Datak share no part in this blame?”

“He does. It's one of the few dark spots in our friendship. It helps that I think he genuinely regrets telling you to kill her.”

“But you still bear a grudge.”

“No. For whatever my forgiveness is worth, you have it. But I will not forget. So my answer is no.”

“I understand.” Stamah stands gracefully. “Would you have accepted my proposal if not for Kenya Rosewater?”

“Let’s be honest, Stamah. If Kenya were still alive, you wouldn’t have given me a first thought, let alone a second.”

A small, sad smile. “Rosewater women are rather...singular, are they not?”

“Yes, they are.” Quietly. “Is there another reason you’re here besides impersonating a stalker?”

“Datak asked me to bring you some berry torte from the baker. He believes it is a favoured food of yours.”

“He’s right. I’m surprised he remembered, though.” Picking up the proffered basket. There’s three hand-sized pastries inside. She eats one and pockets the other two.

“You apparently spoke of them often when you were imprisoned together.”

“That’s funny. All he spoke of was chiva. Yours, usually.” Licking the crumbs.

“Well, at least there was a ‘usually’.” Only mildly annoyed. 

“Thank you for the tarts and your...flattering proposition. I recommend  _ not _ staring at people when they sleep if you don’t want to creep them out.”

“Noted.” Tilting her head to the side. “I am not surprised by your answer, but for once I would not have minded being wrong.”

“Sorry, sweet heart, not this lifetime.” That amuses Meh. “So, c’mon, scoot. I have patients to see.”

“You are feeling better, then?”

“Better, yes.” Stairs are not her friend, though, and she’s a bit wobbly when she reached the bottom. Stamah smoothly takes her arm. “You may have rejected my offer, but I may still use you from time to time to make my husband jealous.”

“Please don’t, I like being alive.”

“Oh, have no fear, Dr. Yewll, even if he did insist on your demise I have learned my lesson and would refuse.”

“That isn’t very reassuring.”

There are four patients left. Doc does her run down, and sends the first three home. Amanda is the last one. She’s waiting somewhat patiently on her bed.

“Alright, missy. Let’s take a look at things so you can go home tonight.” Amanda lies back and lifts her shirt. Meh looks at the incision, pokes it a bit. Puts a clean dressing on it. “You’re good.”

“That’s it.”

“I have Samir’s notes. And whatever else you may say about the kid, he’s shaping up to be a decent Doctor.” She shrugs. “Still no baths, you can’t get it wet. Let Nolan help you get around, no matter how annoying it is. Drink, rest and eat. I’ll come by tomorrow to check on you.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Smiling to Nolan. “You ready?”

“Just a minute. I want to ask Doc a few things.” He follows Meh as she walks away. “Are you sure you’re ok with me leaving?”

“I don’t need you hovering constantly, Nolan.” Catching his frown. “I’m fine, alright? Go be with Amanda, make sure she follows orders. She’s a terrible patient.” Almost fondly.

“But you’ll be alright?”

“Yes, I will.”

“I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“I’d feel better if you got Amanda home while the dose of pain meds I just gave her is still somewhat effective.” Pointed.

“...fine, alright.” He starts to move towards her. 

“Don’t hug me, idiot.” Warning.

“This is temporary. I’m not letting you crawl back into your shell.”

“Yes, bye, now go.” He does.

Samir. “Ah, that Joshua Nolan is something else, isn’t he?”

“Sure.” Rolling her eyes. “Clean up and lock up. And you take the emergency hailer tonight. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Despite her nap and torte, she still tires easily. She picks up a few things from a local vendor, and heads to the morgue. No one has done any work on the bodies yet, so she does. Only for a few hours before heading up to sleep again. Irisa finds her and offers to help? Discussion about honoring those who have passed it? Interesting thought. 

-090-


	2. Part 2

-090-

Nolan wakes to find Amanda snuggled into his side, stroking his hip. He knows that look in her eyes.

“...no.”

“What? Tired of me already?”

“No, I very much want to. But Doc was pretty specific. And explicit. Even if you just laid there, you could split your stitches again. And she would blame me.”

“She said that?” Thinking. “In indojisnen.”

“She probably didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“But she’s ok embarrassing you.” Dryly. 

“You should hear some of the things she says to Datak when she’s giving him a hard time.” Kissing her. “It’s just a few more days. As soon as she gives you the all-clear, you can lock me in this room for as long as you want.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good.” Kissing her again. Then getting up. “Hungry?”

“Yeah, I could eat.”

“I’ll grab us plates from downstairs.”

-The next few days are mostly just the same. Doc comes to check on Amanda, all is well. She has to rest after coming up the stairs, though, and Nolan’s being annoyingly hovery. Meh sends him away to get something, and Amanda complains about being hurt less, longer and still being more of an invalid. Meh explains a few things about indogenes. At one point, Amand mentioned hearing Datak say something about eight-inch port needles. Meh holds her hands apart, then shrugs. “Almost accurate. Which is surprising given his flair for the dramatic.” Amanda’s aghast. Meh explains its what she’s made to do. To interface like that. To be fixable and used hard. Which is why her skin is whole. Nolan comes back, Doc leaves. Amanda is cleared to shower, but not bathe. Still no sex.

Nolan gets Irisa to keep an eye on Meh, and to the Irathiant’s surprise the indogene allows it. They even have a few meals together. Meh doesn’t eat much. Meh tells Irisa to tell Nolan that she’s coming too. Irisa does so, though she doesn’t fully understand the message. 

Stamah brings Luke by for a check up, and Meh plays with him (Favi Chubbs) for a bit. Stamah inquires about the children saved, and if she feels she is up to the task. Meh implies she’s more than ready, she just needs to finish fixing a few things about her living arrangement.

Irisa helps Meh start to move things around. The second upstairs room was mainly medical storage, anything not useful is gotten rid of. Datak comes by and sees them working, offers to help. They put up two new walls, and a door between the second room and the office. 

“You and five kids are going to live here together?” Skeptical.

“We’ll manage.”

“It’s your life, Doc.” Irisa.

“I think you mean her sanity.” Datak

“Ha ha.”

Also Berlin bringing news of the families that Doc asked her to look into. A few need help, and Doc asks her to come by later for some scrip. Goes to the market and sells something, comes back with a decent wad. 

-090-

The day of the birth, Nolan and Amanda arrive at the clinic to find Doc set up in the back room. The pod and one drone is there, a suction machine, some other tools and instruments. Meh is unusually agitated.

Nolan. “He’s fine. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course he is.”

Amanda is sitting, she’s still sore and tired all the time. Irisa is standing beside her. They’re both on edge a little bit too. There have been too many times other things have not quite made sense between Doc and Nolan. 

“I know you’ve had some questions over the last few days.” Nolan.

“Oh, a few,” Amanda.

“You’re acting weird.” Irisa. “Both of you. It's not exactly in a bad way, but it's still...weird.”

Nolan and Doc trade glances. She shrugs he goes on. “So...I’m gonna tell you what happened. But it's going to be a helluva story.”

“Even for you?” Irisa, crossing her arms.

“Trust me, kiddo. This puts my usual stories to shame.” Settling in. “So, the first time we went up to the Omec ship, the plan wasn’t to shoot them off to a distant planet.”

“The  _ first _ time.” Amanda, incredulous.

“Doc and I...time traveled?” To Doc.

“Sort of,” she replied with a shrug. “Due to a capricious and powerful being named Q.”

“You’re not making sense.” Amanda.

Meh. “For Nolan and I, the last 24 hours before the Omec left orbit were our second trip through, so to speak. The first time, we decided to blow up the ship. Plug me into the ark brain, block the engines and let ‘er rip.”

“How would you have escaped?” Irisia.

“I wouldn’t’ve.” Meh, flatly.

“Seriously?” Amanda to Nolan.

“She’s telling the truth.” Nolan. “Anyways, we got up there and...plans changed.”

“How?”   
  


“You saw the Omec children,” Nolan replied. “And you said we should save them. Find them a new home. Somewhere they can thrive without harming sentient life. You begged me to save them, but I couldn’t take you away from earth. So I sent you back. Meh was planning on dying as it was, so I figured being stuck with me on a ship was at least no worse than her first plan.”

“So you...left? On the Omec ship?”

“The engines were primed to explode. We vented them instead, and were sling-shotted randomly into space. Once it was safe, I dragged Meh out of the AI and managed to get her into a healing pod. We spent the first few years just trying to survive.”

“We only had control over a very small portion of the ship without me plugged directly in,” Meh explained, absently rubbing the back of her neck. “And the food readily available on board wasn’t tailored to indogene or human diets.”

“Oh, the blue meat. Something I can’t wait to forget.”

“How long?” Amanda.

“We were in space? Twelve years.”

“Twelve  _ years-” _

“It would have been around 20 years before we made it back to Earth. Assuming we could find it.” Meh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“When we left Earth’s orbit, we were barely in control of the ship and flying half-blind. Later, when we actually had control, I ran projections of where we might have started. But it would have been largely luck if we eventually made it home.”

“Really?” Nolan, frowning. “You always told me our odds weren’t, and I quote ‘that bad’.”

“That being a relative term, and comparative to say: our chances of surviving being driven into a black hole.”

“That was an accident!”   
  


Irisa smiling. “Did he sing?”

“All the friggin’ time.” Meh has her arms crossed.

“And yet...I never got sucked out an airlock like someone constantly threatened.” Giving Meh a knowing look. “Couldn’t have been that bad.”

“I know the words to _ever_ y Johnny Cash song there is, and not because I wanted to. Yes, it was.” Darkly.

Not even lowering his voice. “Don’t listen to her. Sometimes, when she thinks I couldn’t hear her, she’ll sing along. Her voice isn’t half-bad, actually.” Grinning at Meh, she’s glaring at him.

“Are you serious? If we were on the ship, your ass would be in space.”

“That’s why I waited, cueball.”

He grins widely, and rubs her head. She smacks his hand away. Its like watching a standoffish cat with an overly-friendly dog. 

“So, what’s this then? Did you two hook up while you were out traveling through the stars, or-”

“Oh hell no!” Meh, disgusted.

“Wow, no need to be that emphatic.” Nolan.

Meh to Amanda. “We’re friends. Very good friends, because at some point when there’s no one else to talk to for nine years and you kind of figure you’re probably not going back, keeping secrets doesn’t seem important anymore.”

“So he knows  _ everything _ about you?” Skeptical.

“Everything important. Everything worth knowing.” Shrugs. 

“And you know everything about him?” Pointing to Nolan.

“Well.” Nolan. “That’s hardly a fair comparison, she’s almost twice my-”

“Hey!” Glaring again.

“You know how old Doc is?” Irisa, curious.

“ _ And _ when her birthday is,” Nolan, smirking.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ -” Switching to indojisnen. “Or I’ll tell Amanda you almost chupped an Omec. The crazy one who tried to kill us all!”

“That’s not fair!” Argue Argue argue. Amanda and Irisa watch with opposite reactions. Irisa is a fan, Amanda is not. Finally, the Mayor breaks in

“So it's like a sibling thing. I got it.”

“No.”

“Definitely not.”

Amanda stares back at them blankly.

Meh looks at Nolan, who sighs. 

“My sister was my hero,” he said quietly. “She died fighting the VC in the early days. Doc’s great, but she’s not my sister.” He looks at Meh.

“I was very fond of my three brothers. They were all the arks when they exploded. Nolan cannot take their place.”

“...oh.” Which is more information about their past then either has ever volunteered freely. And therefore Amanda is more than slightly stunned. 

“So we’re close, but there’s nothing romantic about it.” Nolan.

“Best friends.” Irisa, smiling.

“Yeah.” Nolan matches her smile.

“Sure, whatever.” Meh shrugging. But there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Ok, this is too weird.” Amanda, turning away. “I can’t...my mind just can’t do this, alright?”

“What do you mean?” Nolan, smile slipping a little.

“I mean a few  _ days _ ago we suspected Doc was working with the Omec, and you 100% jumped on the train without a second thought-”

“Yeah, I know. And I was wrong for that. Trust me, twelve years together, we’ve already thrashed all this out. I apologized for the night we held her down and peeled a strip of skin from her leg to save a lying psychopath. She apologized for hiding the truth about Irisa, and then suggesting the best way forward was to shoot her. But honestly, after going over it all again and again, we realized...we both chupped up. Shatko happened, and we dropped the ball. The only way for us to survive was for us to make peace and bury the past. So we did.”

“I would like to hear more about how you got a redo?” Irisa.

“There’s a group of beings known as Q,” Meh, quietly like she’s afraid of being overheard. “They are...difficult to describe, except as powerful and egotistical and supposedly recently having acquired a conscious.” Frowning. “They are the reason the Votan suns collided.”

“Why would they do that?”

“They said to prevent an even greater disaster from occurring. Somehow, I get the feeling they have been meddling with Votan affairs for some time.” Shrugging. “The point is, Nolan and I saved the Omec by delivering them to a planet we discovered. In thanks for somehow fixing their mistake, Q offered us a D-Day do-over.”

“We got popped back into the past, but with our memories intact. It made a few things possible that weren’t before.”

“Like?”

“Sending the Omec to a specific destination.” Meh replied quietly. “It took me five years to crack all the command codes, but having them meant it took minutes to make the ark brain my bitch. We were also able to save the kids.”

“So everything just went...according to plan, huh?”

“No. You still decided to be a hero and get your stomach sliced open.” Meh, grumbling.

“You tried to warn me.” Realization.

“Clearly not very well.” Sharply. 

“What, were you not able to save me the first time?” Worried. 

“Yes, I was.” Begrudging. 

“Then why bother? You knew I would be fine.”

“Fine is an incredibly relative term, and forgive me for trying to spare you a dangerous wound and difficult recovery. Next time I won’t bother.” Shortly.

“Meh..” Nolan. To Amanda. “Don’t mind her, when she snaps it's usually because she’s scared. And you scared the shtack out of both of us both times around.”

“...oh.”

“...and to be perfectly honest I’m not certain that you did survive.” Looking guilty. “The first time around.”

“...what?” Nolan and Amanda together. 

“The wound was...very deep. And I didn’t know the first time, what was coming. I wasn’t prepared. And while it normally wouldn’t be that huge of an issue...you weren’t the only one and I was still trying to recover from having that friggin rod in my neck. I had dozens of bodies I was operating on for..hours. Trying to save them all. I did my best, I swear, but given the fact that we don’t know what happened after we go shot into space...even if the redo there wasn’t a guarantee that something like that wouldn’t kill you. Even with forewarning.” Guilty glance at Nolan. “I didn’t mention it because-”

“There was nothing we could do about it.” Understanding. “And I needed to believe she was alive.”

“Yeah.” Clearing her throat. “But to be fair...if anyone could survive being self-sacrificing, it would be you.”

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.” Amanda.

“Neither am I.” Meh.

“But other than that,” Nolan said quickly. “And a few other things, we did what Q said we had to do for it to be alright.”

“Which were...?”

List them off, end with the kids.

“The ones in the pods, right?”

“My kids,” Meh said quietly. “T’evgin was experimenting on Irathient and Castithan DNA, attempting to make them more like indogenes.”

“How so?”

“More adaptable and easily controlled. According to his notes, he believed it possible to create his own pool of subjects, allowing him to destroy the ’original stock’ when he found them. The experiment was put on hold when the ship began to lose power.” Dourly. “I suppose we should be grateful he was obsessed with it like he was. If the ship hadn’t been on it’s last legs powerwise when it arrived in orbit things may have gone very differently.”

“We found the pods about eight years in. We’re not sure how, but three of them were damaged.” Nolan.

“They don’t look damaged.” Irisa.

“They aren’t,” Meh agreed. “Which means this time we should be able to save them all.”

Blah blah blah...the proof is in the pudding, so they open the pod.

“Ready?” Meh at the back of the pod.

“Ready,” Nolan

The pod opens. Inside is a Castithan boy, around 9 years old. His long, white hair falls down to the middle of his back, and his eyes are a brilliant silver-blue. Nolan catches him as he tumbles bonelessly forwards, the goop he was encased in sliding out as well. Nolan grabs the suction hose, and clears his mouth and nose.

“He’s breathing.” Meh heads around the front and starts detaching various wires and hoses. Nolan takes the cloth and starts to wipe his face, saying, “Richard. Open your eyes, Richard. C’mon, Slick, c’mon...”

“Uncle Jo?” Softly, dazed.

“Yeah, yeah it's me.” Putting him on the table as Meh clears the last lines, wrapping him up in the blanket. “We did it. We made it home.”

“Your eye, it’s...Mom? Where’s mom?”

“Right here.” Meh’s gentle, but she holds the boy close, forgetting about her audience for a time. She speaks to him in indojisnen, but it's the tenderest she’s ever been that Amanda or Irisa have heard. The boy answers in the same, and Nolan laughs. For a minute, they look like a family. Amanda can’t help feeling jealous. It doesn’t help that Meh starts crying, and Nolan puts a familiar arm around her. Like he’s done it 100 times before. 

The boy sees Amanda and Irisa and perks up.

“Amanda Rosewater! Irisa!” To Meh and Nolan. “We really...? We are on earth? Is that why-”

“Yeah, we are.” Nolan, wide grin.

“He knows my name.” Amanda, standing up slowly. “...you said the pods were from the Omec ship.”

“They are,” Meh. 

“Then...you really...”

“Yeah, but we’ll let Richard speak for himself. Slick?” Nolan.

“Yeah, Uncle Jo?” 

“I want you to tell Amanda and Irisa about how you met your mom and I.”

“On the spaceship?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok...” Thinking. “The first thing I remember is how bright it was. Mom explained it was because I’d never used my eyes before. I could understand what she was telling me, but I couldn’t speak back at first. Or use my body really well. I had to learn to do everything. But I had my mom and Uncle Jo with me, so it didn’t seem so bad.” Thoughtful, glancing at them both. “Though they looked different.”

“We can talk about that later, kiddo.” Meh. “Go on.”

“Eventually, they started to show me the ship. We were alone, in space, on a massive ship full of sleeping purple people. People were dangerous and had hurt mom and Uncle Joe before, so we couldn’t wake them up, but they did find me a brother and a sister. Colt and Becca. We lived together, as a family. No long after Becca woke up, we found the purple aliens a new home. It took a few weeks, transporting everything to the surface. And then we headed back towards ‘Earth’. It was after a while that the man came.”

“Q.” Meh, prompting.

“We were asleep, and you woke us up to tell us that we were going home, but that we would wake up from our pods again, like before. That you were coming, and not to be afraid. The man came back and snapped his fingers....” He snaps. “And I woke up, coming out of my pod again.”

“How did you know who I was?” Amanda.

“The pictures.” Richard glances up at Meh, and she nods for him to go on. “Mom and Uncle Jo had pictures of Defiance, the city they were from, and of their favorite people in it.” Glancing around for the first time. “This is the clinic! I recognize it.” To Amanda. “You’re as beautiful as your pictures, Amanda Rosewater.”

“Oh, well...thank you.” He’s a charmer, and she’s smitten.

Irisa makes plans to come get him in the morning to see the city while Doc works. Amanda was cleared to go into work for a few hours, but to still mostly rest. Her office assistant has strict orders to limit her work. But before they go:

“Why Richard?” Irisa. “That’s a human name, isn’t it?”

Meh looks at Richard again, and nods. “Mom named me after a soldier. When my mom left the ‘VC’, the first human she met was a soldier on patrol. He asked what she was doing, and she explained that she was a doctor. He had a weapon, and so when he said to get in his roller, she did. He drove her through an encampment of soldiers, and out the other side to a camp of refugees. These are the people who need help, he told her. So she stayed and helped. When she got ready to leave, the soldier found her again and drove her to another camp of refugees in thanks for her help. His name was Richard, and I was named after him because Castithans believe naming their child after someone they knew gives that child their traits. And like that soldier, she wished me to be kind and thoughtful and honest.”

“I think it's a great name.” Irisa, smiling. To Richard. “Maybe we’ll go meet Luke tomorrow. He’s part Castithan with a human name too.”

“Ok!” Perks up.

“Irisa, could you take Richard upstairs for a minute? I need to talk to Nolan.”

“C’mon, big guy.” Irisa slings an arm around his narrow shoulders. “Let’s go see what you think of your new home, huh?”

“Ok.” He takes her hand with a smile. She smiles back.

“I blame you for that.” Meh.

“The boy’s a natural, I had nothing to do with it.” Meh gives him a look. “Encouraging him to use his natural charm to his advantage was just me being a good uncle.” He looks far too proud for either woman to believe it.

“I want to tell Datak.” Meh.

Nolan, immediately. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Of course you don’t, you don’t trust him.”

“And you do?”

“I trust him to be Datak, and to be my friend. I don’t always agree with his methods, and he’s not off the hook for some very stupid things he’s done recently. But that doesn’t make him any less my friend and I want to tell him for the same reason we told Amanda and Irisa. It's the right thing to do.”

Nolan looks at her for a long moment. “....when?”

“Tomorrow is fine.” In indojisnen. “Try not to burst her stitches tonight, I’ll be very upset if you do. I’ll chirp you on the hailer tomorrow with a time.”

“You got it, Doc.” Smiles widely, claps her on the shoulder. “I’m gonna run up and say goodnight to Slick. Is that alright?”

“Go on.” Jerk of the head. Stands there awkwardly with Amanda in silence, then starts to clean up.

Amanda breaks the silence first, feeling unaccountably guilty for once. “I’m sorry if it feels like I’m being too hard on you. It's just...a lot to take in.”

“That’s alright. If I were in your shoes, I’d been skeptical too.” Shrugging. “But you do believe us, right?”

“...does it matter?”

“It will to Nolan.” Seriously.

He clatters down the stairs. “How do you feel about a sleepover, Meh?”

“You’re not staying.” Flatly.

“Not me, Irisa. Richard asked her to stay.”

“Of course he did.” Half smile. “Yeah, that’s fine if she wants to. We have the room.”

“Night, Meh.” Quick hug that she tolerates.

“Goodnight.” She locks up and heads upstairs.

Nolan puts an arm around Amanda. “How are you holding up?”

“Tired.” Wincing. “And sore.”

“Let’s get you home.”

-090-

Irisa fit in very well, which probably shouldn’t have been surprising. The girl was so much like her father. She laughed at the same jokes, and put an arm around Richard the same way. Eats with the same careless manners. Meh cooks for them, putting together a simple meal.

“This is good,” Irisa, surprised. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Twelve years in space, and your dad kept almost killing us with his attempts.”

“He is terrible with anything past heating up a can of beans.” Grins. “And god help us if he tries to make pancakes.” Rolling her eyes.

Richard makes a face. “Do you mean those dough-disks that would be burned on the outside and gooey in the middle?”

Irisa and Meh answer together. “Yes.” Trade looks, then smile. Meh’s is small, but still a smile.

When dinner is done, Richard is yawning.

“To bed with you slick.” But first, a bath! Richard is able to do it himself. Irisa gets it set up.

“I’m so glad we’re not back at square one.”

“How so?”

“The first time he came out as an almost 9-year-old infant.” shaking her head. “He progressed quickly, but it was still a tough few months trying to care for a baby half your size.”

“Would you have done it again, if you had to?”

“Absolutely.” Handing her a plate to dry, it's all very domestic. “Whatever he needs. I’ll do it. He’s my kid.” Glancing at Irisa. “I learned that watching your dad.”

“Hopefully yours won’t try to destroy the world.”

“That was the ark tech, not you.”

“I know.”

“...there is something I want to talk to you about.”

“What?”

“The key still inside you...you probably won’t be able to have kids of your own as long as it's still there.”

Irisa doesn’t immediately respond.

“You can just tell me it's none of my business.” Meh added quietly. “I just thought you should know.”

“...thanks, Doc. I’ll...think about it awhile, ok?”

“Sure. If you have questions, just let me know.”

“Yeah.”

Richard comes out, his hair damply lying against his back and in a shirt and pants that are too big on him. They were from a box of leftover clothing Doc had from the clinic, and don’t fit even half as well as she’d hoped.

“Well, it looks like we’re going shopping tomorrow.”

Irisa isn’t tired, but she comes to lay down with them anyways. Meh lends her a shirt, and she takes off her belt and shoes and knives. 

“Sing me the song, mom?” The bed takes up 2/3rds of the space with tons of pillows. Meh glances at Irisa.

“I, uh...”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Irisa, on Richard’s other side.

“...ok.”

Johnny Cash’s She used to love me A lot. Nolan is right, her voice isn’t bad. Definitely nothing to write home about, but not bad. It’s still extremely cute.

Richard’s asleep. Meh and Irisa on either side of him in the near dark.

“Who was she?” Just a whisper. Meh doesn’t answer. “Sorry, not my business.”

“My wife, Lev.” A deep, soft sigh.

“When were you married?” Surprise.

“Probably before you were born.” Eyeing her. “We were together for nearly a decade.”

“What happened?”

“She...died. Then I left, and ended up here. Defiance, the city of second chances.”

“Wow.” Watching her. “I wish this had happened years ago.”

“What?”

“You and dad being friends.”

“Why?”

“I feel like things might have been different. Better.”

“Maybe. Or maybe we would have just made different mistakes.”

“...maybe.” Smiling. “Thanks for taking care of my dad.”

“Don’t worry about it. I owe him at least as much as he owes me.” Yawns. “Excuse me. Still not  _ quite _ recovered yet.”

“Go to sleep, then. You could have told me to be quiet.”

“No, it was nice. Like talking to your dad. I got used to talking to him before I went to sleep.”

“Twelve years, that’s a long time.”

“It is. Was.”

“I’m glad you came back.”

“At least someone is.”

“What do you mean by that, Doc?”

The indogene doesn’t respond, and Irisa figures she’s asleep. It's comforting, listening to the quiet breath of someone you trust, and she drifts off too. Meh stays awake awhile longer, and tells herself not to be a fool. That being back, saving the kids and having Nolan (and now Irisa!) as her friend is enough. She slides a hand over Richard’s, and feels him shift beneath her gentle touch.

This is enough.

It has to be.

-090-

The next morning, Amanda is really hurting. She rolls out of bed slowly, breathing hard.

“You alright?” Nolan. “Maybe we should have waited-”

“I was tired of waiting.” Slowly pulling on a shirt.

“You should go see Doc, she’ll have something that can help.” Helping. 

“Mm...you can’t get it for me?”

“Berlin’s waiting for me. She’s got a few rollers and some guys together, to salvage a few Omec travel pods and recover Kindzi’s body. Meh gave me a list of all the landings she knew about.”

“Why do we want the pods?”

“Salvage. Meh’s hoping there’s a few specific components intact, but either way each is capable of generating a force field strong enough to withstand entry or exit of the atmosphere. I’m sure we could find a use for that.”

“Probably.” Nodding slowly. He comes around to kiss her. “Mm. Thank you for last night. It was wonderful.”

“Yes, it was. But...was it worth it?”

“Yes.” Thinking. “Maybe.”

“Doc’s not going to care, Amanda. At least not the way you think she will.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because for some reason that I don’t really get, you think she’s in love with me.”

“I don’t think you’ve noticed the way she watches us sometimes. When we’re together, I mean.”

“...I don’t want to argue with you. Just go see Doc, it’ll be fine. I promise.”

“...ok.”

It takes her a bit, but she makes it out to the clinic in time to see Irisa, Meh and Richard exit the second floor. Meh gives the boy a hug, then turns to Irisa who hugs her unexpectedly. Meh gingerly accepts the embrace, but there’s a smile on her face when she waves to them a moment later. Amanda feels something twist in her belly. And it's not her incision. The pair leaves, and Doc goes inside. 

Amanda follows slowly, finds Meh already has a patient. She takes a seat. Meh comes out a few minutes later. “Letting Samir try his hand at diagnosis,” she explained when Amanda looked back at the curtain. “You, though...” Head tilted to one side. “Had a good night with Nolan, hm? And now you’re paying for it.”

“Doc, how...”

“Not important. Your options are- a mild something that will just take the edge off or a heavy hitter that might put you to sleep for a while. I don’t have much else, the last few weeks of excitement have drained my stock and until the next land coach comes through we’re stuck.” As if remembering something. “And, by the way, I’m almost broke. So I will need some sort of compensation for the last few weeks of work, or we won’t be restocking anything.”

“You won 30K scrip from the NeedWant. How the chup did you blow through it that fast?” Disbelief.

“Gave it to Datak. You confiscated it when he was arrested.” Mildly. 

“Please tell me you’re kidding.” Darkly. 

“My next patient will be here soon, Heavy or light?” Mildly. 

“The lighter one.”

Meh smirks, and pulls the pills out of her pocket. “I enjoy being right. Instructions are on the bottle, and I gave you enough for a week. Do  _ not _ double up on them, or drink with them. That would land you back here, and definitely put an end to your love life for awhile.”

“Got it.” Checking the bottle, then taking two. “Thanks.” Pause, then, “You’re taking this a lot better than I would in your position.” Deciding to bite the bullet.

“Taking what how?” Confused, turning back from leaving.

“If a guy I was in love with was sleeping with someone else, I probably wouldn’t be as nice to them.”

Meh laughs. “You think I’m...in love with Nolan.”

“Aren’t you?” Less certain now.

Meh sits down next to her on the bench. “No. I will, in the context of this conversation admit to having a sort of fondness for the big doof. Though, if you tell him that I will deny it to my last breath. But I have a...type when it comes to my romantic preferences, and it isn’t him. At all. He could bounce between you, Berlin and Stamah and I would be more upset about the fact that Datak would be compelled to a duel of honor for the offence and probably get killed for it than anything else.” Seeing the look on Amanda’s face. “He isn’t going to do that.”

“How do you know?” Standing to go.

“Because I spent twelve years in space with the man and the only woman ever talking about besides his daughter was you.” Amanda hugs Doc. Meh is ginger about patting her back. “...why am I getting hugged? I mean I know I’m a catch, but...”

Amanda lets go. “Because I needed to hear that, I think.” Backing away. “It’s no secret that Nolan’s had his pick of women since he’s been in Defiance. I guess I was just worried that I wasn't the only one he missed.”

“You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s only you for him.”

“Thank you.” Wide smile. Meh smiles back, even though she kind of wants to die.

“Doc?” Samir, sounding panicky. Meh sighs.

“Good luck.” Amanda heading out the door. Meh gets to work.

-090-

Irisa and Richard shopping. She lets him pick and while it's generally very castithan (pale, grey or neutral), it also has some bright colors. They meet Alak, who’s out on patrol.

“Irisa!” Wide smile, seeing Richard. “Who’s this? You lost, Buddy?”

“This is Richard.” Putting a hand on his shoulder. “He’s Doctor Yewll’s son.”

“Doc?” Confused.

“Adopted.” Richard. “I can from the pods on the Omec ship.”

“OH!” Remembering. Smiling. “I’m Alak Tarr, and I’m a Deputy.” Showing off his badge a little. “If you need something, just ask. I’m always happy to help.”

“Thank you, Deputy Tarr.” Smiling.

“Alak, I was telling him about your son, Luke. Because he has a human name like Richard.”

“Right, yeah. Would you like to meet him?” Eager.

“Yeah, that’d be fun!”

“He’s still pretty young.”

“I like little kids. I’ve spent a lot of time with them.”

“Cool. We’ll do that sometime then!”

Irisa sees something. “Hey, stay with Alak a minute, ok?”

“Ok.” Waits, watches Alak watch Irisa leave. “You think she’s pretty.”

“Excuse me?”

“You should just tell her.” Calmly. 

“You’re a kid.”

“I’m still right.” Smirks. It's just like Meh. Irisa comes back with a package.

“A gift for your mom. C’mon, you still need socks and shoes.”

Alak. “See you around?”

“Sure.”

“Actually Luke and I are free tonight. Dad had some big meeting come up, so...”

“I’ll come by before Luke goes down.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then.”Walking away standing a little taller. Irisa smiles to herself and leads Richard through the market. Richard takes her hand and smiles. It's all better than he ever imagined.

-090-

Nolan checks on Amanda, finds her changing clothes. 

“Hey, how was it?”

“You were right. I had nothing to worry about.” Kissing him deeply.

“Mm, what was that for?” Pleased.

“For coming back. Now hurry up and go help Doc so I can have you to myself again.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Another kiss, he goes.

Amanda is very happy. Also tired and sore. She rests.

-090-

Figure Out how Nolan and Meh tell Datak, and what proof he demands from them and Richard. After the fact, Meh asks Nolan to take Richard upstairs. She wants to speak to Datak and Stamah alone. He goes. 

“The thing about secrets,” she said as the front door closed, “Is that they start out small, right?” I can’t tell someone this  _ thing _ Because...they’ll get angry, or they won’t trust me or I’ll lose their respect. So you lie. And lie and lie and lie. And the next thing you know you’re so entangled and buried in both that it inevitably collapses in on itself. Which also means that what actually happens because of those secrets and lies is so much worse then what actually would have happened if you hadn’t lied in the first place,”

“Yes,a very apt description of the latest debacle. What is your point?”

“Q, the being who sent us back, said some bad things are coming. Bad enough that if we hadn’t taken his offer, by the time we got back Defiance would be a ghost town and most of the people we once knew dead.”

“I see.”

“Supposedly, Nolan and I being here means we can...stop it somehow. Or make it not as bad. I don’t know. The point is, I want to know what side you’re on.”

“Your side, of course.”

“Even if my side is with Nolan and Amanda?”

A long pause. “She picked him.” Datak, meaningfully. 

“I know.”

“You’re still siding with them?” Disbelief. 

“Defiance is my home, and I have given up almost everything to protect it. I was even willing to give up my life. Now my  _ children _ live in this city. Remember what you’ve been willing to sacrifice to save Alak and Luke? Exactly. So as long as their goal is to protect and support this town, yes I’m on their side.”

A deep breath. “...ok.”

“Will they even allow us on their side?” Stamah. 

“For me, yes.” Meh frowns. “But if I’m sticking my neck out for you, I needed to know it was worth it.”

A long thoughtful pause. Stamah nods. “It is.” Smiling. “Richard is a very special and handsome child. I can think of no one else fit to raise him.”

“Thank you, he’s doing well.”

“When will you wake the others?”

Explain explain explain. They leave. She goes up to see Richard and Nolan. The boy is eating, Nolan comes to the front. 

“So, they slithered away?”

“Your daughter might well wed their son. You should start changing how you talk about them now before it's too late. Grandkids, I understand, repeat things at the worst possible time.”

“You’re probably right.” Grins.

“What?” Suspicious. 

“Arguing with you isn’t as always going to be one-sided now that I’ve got Amanda and Irisa to help.” Pauses. 

“What makes you think they’ll take your side? Ever?”

“A guy can always dream. Thanks for helping Amanda earlier. She was feeling better when I saw her.”

“Good, now go home. I have things to do.”

“Alright. Let me know when Colt is ready. I want to be there for all the wake ups.”

“Of course.”

He gives her a hug, and she lets him because no one else is around. He goes and hugs Richard too. 

Meh gets the gift from Richard once he’s left. Its an apron, but neither notices hidden in the border ‘kiss the cook’. Its a dark grey, japanese style, with a fancy black border. 

-090-

The next few days are more of the same. Meh monitors Richard but he’s doing well. He starts school. Nolan usually picks him up in the morning, and walks him over. Irisa picks him up to bring him home. He likes doing his homework downstairs and listening to Meh and Samir work. Samir thinks Meh as a mom is adorable and keeps it to himself because he’s terrified of her. Amanda is softening towards Meh, seeing her as a mom with Richard during the usual comings and goings of the city. 

-090-

Nolan coming to Meh because he thinks Amanda is tired of him already. Didn't want to cuddle or have sex and was short with him that morning. Meh immediately tells him no, you idiot, she's on her period.

"How do you know that?"

"...I'm a doctor. Her doctor."

"Meh..."

"I can smell it." Quietly. "The blood is...very distinctive. Alright?"

"And you promise that's it?"

"Yes, idiot. Go buy her some chocolate, offer her a backrub with no strings attached and you're golden. If you're not squeamish about blood-"

"Yeah, no, I can wait."

"Men, I swear.... happy to shoot everything in sight, can't take a little blood with their sex."

"Is it even enjoyable for a woman in her...thing?"

"Seriously? What are you, 12?"

"Shut up."

"Yes, it's enjoyable. And helps with the cramps. Well, for most women. There is no true one size fits all....."

As it turns out, Meh is right and Nolan gets massive brownie points for being so understanding and thoughtful. He files that important bit of information away for later.

-090-

“I won’t be home tomorrow night,” Nolan said as he lay beside Amanda in the dark. “Meh’s opening Colt’s pod, so I’m gonna help her out. And if that’s anything like last time, I might stay the night too.”

“Why?” Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

“Colt came out of his pod swinging, caught Meh upside the head with a lucky kick. She had a concussion. Hopefully, she’ll remember to duck. Otherwise, I’ll be staying over to make sure everything is ok.”

That’s more reasonable than she expected, and a thought creeps out of her mouth before she has considered its wisdom. “Actually, do you think she’d mind if I tagged along? I’d like to meet Colt. Maybe...I could sit with Richard? So he’s not alone?”

No hesitation, he’s clearly pleased. “Yeah, sure. Irisa is actually sitting with Richard, but either one is probably fine.” He kisses her. “I’d like you to be there. The kids are important to me. And Colt...I mean you’re not supposed to have favorites, but-”

“He’s your favorite.” Catching his grin, 

even in the dark. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Richard is a great kid. And Becca? You’ll love her, she’s super sweet. But Colt’s...my kind of kid.”

“You mean trouble.” Feeling his laughter more than hearing it in the dark. 

“I mean Meh’s probably yelled at me more about the things I’ve let that kid do than the other two combined.” It’s getting less weird to hear him call the doctor by her first name, and triggers less of a jealousy response than it did before. 

“Why?”

“Because he asks. He’s fearless, and curious.”

“Irathient?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” Smiling against his skin. “Makes sense now.”

“I can’t wait for them all to be up.” Quietly. “ We can do big dinners together again, only better. Because you and Irisa will be there.”

“Nolan...they’re not your kids.” Carefully quiet. 

“...except they kind of are?” Amanda is silent. “I don’t mean...I don’t know. It's just...it was  _ just us _ . For years. I’m Uncle Joe, but if Meh had to plug herself into the ark brain for maintenance or whatever, I was parent #2. I fed them and bathed them and did their lessons and tucked them in at night. I was there for first steps and words, for every big moment in their lives. I know things are different, but I can’t just  _ forget _ that those things happened.”

Amanda feels her stomach clench. “I wouldn’t want you to.”

“I’m not saying I want to have kids, or that there’s anything wrong with us just being us because you’ve never seemed too keen on kids before. But I’m going to stay in their lives because they’re important to me. And I’d like you to be there too.”

“...then that’s what we’ll do.” Because she can’t think of what else to say. 

Nolan kisses her. “I was hoping you would say that.”

-090-

Meh looked from one to the other and replied “...yeah, sure.”

“What, it's not ok?” Nolan, surprised. 

“No, it's fine.” Looking away, busying herself with something that’s already finished. “I just...didn’t expect it.”

“Is everything alright?” Worried now, because Meh isn’t being Meh. 

“Yeah, its fine its...” Catching his eye, and pausing. Then shaking her head. “No, it's not fine.”

“What’s wrong?” Glancing at the pod, and the screens around it. 

“What happened when Colt was born, Nolan?” Arms crossed tight, and one hand partially covering her mouth. 

He snorts out a chuckle. “Are you joking?”

“No. I’m not.” Her voice drops the smile from his face. “It's like there’s a...a hole in my brain where that day should be.”

Realization, Q’s words echoing in the background. “...it’s happening.”

Face tight. “Just like he said it would.” Pacing again with barely contained anxiety. “I can’t...what if I forget something important, Nolan? Something about the kids, or...or...”

“It’s fine, it's fine.” He catches her, and holds her by her arms so she’s forced to look at him. It's still a shock for Amanda watching him be that familiar with her and not be slapped. “We’ll figure it out. Starting tomorrow, we’ll start...writing things down, alright? All the things we need to know, and we’ll even compare notes. And if Colt is alright, we’ll wake up Becca tomorrow night, and the next two the two nights after that. I know that’s quicker than you planned, but I’m here. Me and Amand and Irisa, we’re here to help you.” Amanda blinks a bit at being included, but tries to force a smile when Meh glances at her and then back up at Nolan. It apparently passes muster, because the indogene visibly relaxes. “Alright?”

“Alright.” She takes a deep breath and goes back to work. Amanda catches Nolan’s eye, and he makes an I’ll explain later motion. She’s not thrilled, but rolls with it because they have a job to do. 

Nolan starts to help Doc. “Ok, what you need to remember about Colt is he came out thrashing, alright? So you just stand back and let me get a good hold of him before you try and disconnect his hookups, alright?”

“...ok. Ok.” Still not quite as steady as normal. He gently puts a hand over hers and speaks in indojisnen. She answers in the same, then nods and is all business again. 

Amand can’t help feeling like an outsider as she watches them work seamlessly together.

Colt’s removal goes entirely smoothly. Nolan cleans his face and clears his nose and mouth. Irathient boy, bright red hair, similar markings to Irisa with the same bright green eyes. He’s smaller, maybe 6 or 7. 

“Colt, buddy? You there?”

“Yeah.” The boy is completely calm. “What took you so long?”

“What?”

“I was waiting for you. It took a really long time for you to come. Mom?”

“Right here, Colt.” Meh wraps him in a blanket and takes him to a bed. They sit together. Nolan waves Amanda over.

“Squirt, do you know who this is?”

“It’s the pretty lady from the pictures.” To Meh. “Is the other one here too? The one like me?”

“Irisa’s upstairs.” She’s doing her scans as they talk, all is well. “She’s going to stay the night with us and Richard.”

At some point they realize Colt was aware of the passage of time in the pod, and that’s why he came out swinging the first time. He was terrified.

“What’s that mean, Meh? He shouldn’t have been aware, right?”

“No, but...I don’t know.” Perplexed. “I’ll do more tests tomorrow, but that is strange.” Colt looks worried. “Don’t worry, squirt. Richard is waiting for you upstairs, and tomorrow we’re going to wake up Beccaca.”

“Ok.” Bouncing in place. Always moving. Looking between the adults quizzically, like he can’t quite place something.

Nolan. “Do we need to clean up, or...?”

“I will later. You know me, I can’t sleep for long.” Shrugging. 

“Right. How about this. You get him upstairs and Amanda I can take care of a few things and lock the door on our way out.” Because he doesn’t feel right just leaving, but his boyfriend senses are tingling and for some reason going upstairs seems like a bad idea. 

“...yeah, alright.” Colt is grinning at her. “Let’s go, squirt.” She carries him out after goodbyes. Nolan reassures Meh one last time. It's the first time Amanda’s seen Doc hug him back, and she’s not sure how she feels about that. 

“So,” she says after the door closed behind them. “Do you need any help or is my presence as unnecessary as it was earlier?” The words slip out before she can stop them, as does the sharp tone. 

“Mop’s over there,” he replied quietly, tamping down on the desire to verbally snap back. “And you weren’t useless, it's just everything went perfectly so we didn’t need help. And that’s a good thing.”

“...I know. It's just...you two make a really good team.” Looking away. “And sometimes I wonder if there’s still room for me. In your little ‘family’ with the kids.”

“What? Of course there’s room for you!” Hugging her tightly as he sets his mop aside. “Look it...it makes sense, alright? Because you and I are together, and Meh and I and the kids are close, but you and Meh and the kids aren’t. So...make friends with Meh and the kids, and we’ll come full circle.”

“Seriously? It's just...that easy, is it?”

“You once told me that you thought polygamy wasn’t a bad idea, because of how hard it would be one person to meet all the needs of another.” Pushing onwards despite warning bells going off in his head as Amanda’s brows start to rise. “So maybe we should think of it like  _ that.” _ Pausing to take a breath and realizing he has come at it from entirely the wrong angle. “Ok, I did not say that right, because I can already hear Meh in the back of my head going ‘you idiot’ and ‘stop thinking so hard, you’re going to hurt yourself’.”

Amanda laughs. “Well...that’s one positive out of this then, if you’ve started to think about your words more.”

“You have to around Doc. Irisa might use them like a club, but Meh uses them like razor wire.” Wincing. 

“So you think if we, as in Doc and the kids and I, become friends, this will magically fix things?”

“I think once you get more comfortable with her and the kids, you won’t feel like an outsider anymore because you won’t be. You’ll be part of the family.”

“And you’re sure Doc  _ wants _ me to be part of the family.”

“Meh really admires and respects you.” Wanting to say more and...not doing so. Partially because Meh would kill him and partially because he doesn’t think it's his place and partially because he’s not sure Amanda is ready to hear that just yet.

“You know, you’re the second person to tell me something like that.” Thinking about Stamah.

“It’s true.” Smiling. “Look, I know she’s hard to get a read on sometimes. But just give her a chance. Give  _ us _ a chance. It would mean the world to me.”

Kissing him gently. “...alright. I have another question.”

“Ok, shoot.”

“What’s this about forgetting?”

“...let’s get working, and I’ll tell you as we do. It could take awhile.”

He offers her the mop, she accepts, and they get to work.

-090-

“Mom!” Irisa hid her smile as Meh adopted a look of patient frustration. 

“Cold you have two legs that work just fine. If you want something,  _ use them _ .”

“Ok.” Colt walks in, butt naked. “Mom, I forgot my clothes.”

“Colt.” Unamused.

“I was asking you to bring me them!” Meh shoos him to the bedroom.

“And you couldn’t grab a towel?”

“It was wet. Really wet.”

“Why was the towel wet?”

“I only spilled a little water on the floor, and I cleaned it all up.”

“Just put these on...”

Richard is smiling, and trying not to laugh. Irisa leans close, whispers. “Is he always like this?”

“Yeah.” Giggling a little bit.

Colt comes out dressed, his red curly hair everywhere. “I’m hungry!” Announced like he’s proud of it. 

“Your food is on the table.” Meh, heading for the bathroom. “Sit while you eat.”

“Oh.” He looks at the table, then at Richard. “Does she meant his table?”

“Yeah.”

“But...it’s too high.”

“You sit in this.”

“What is it?” Skeptical.

“A chair, See?” He demonstrates.

“...that’s weird. I’ll just eat down here.” He takes his plate and sits on the floor with it.

Meh comes back, puts the towel in the cleaner (figure this out! How do they do laundry? Something high tech, probably). “Colt...why are you on the floor?”

“Because that’s where we eat.”

“This table is too tall for us to sit on the floor.”

“Then make it shorter.” Obvious kid logic. 

“...just finish your food.” Sees Irisa’s look. “The Omec didn’t have chairs. You either lounged on cushions on the floor or stood at very high counters and occasionally used a sort of stool. It was never a priority to make some, so we just...did without.”

Irisa sits besides Colt, and he grins at her. “I like sitting on the floor too,” she admitted, crossing her legs. “And if we go visit my friend Rynn, she’s the leader of an irathient Spirit Rider tribe, they hardly use tables and chairs either.”

“Can we, mom?” Colt, excited.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. And I don’t see why not.”

“Yes!” To Irisa. “I want to meet lots of people like me.” Wiping his mouth with his hand.

“You will,” Irisa said with a smile. “But...there’s also a lot of people not like you. And a lot of them prefer chairs.   
  


Suspicious squint.

“What?”

“That’s very...logical. I don’t like logic.”

“Why not?”

“It’s usually not very fun.” Very serious.

Irisa laughs. It's probably not the right response, and Colt looks offended. It makes Irisa laugh all the more.

“Mom, I think there’s something wrong with Irisa...”

“She thinks you’re funny.” Meh, mildly.

“I don’t think its funny.”

“Does Uncle Joe think its funny when I mimic his accent?”

“No.”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” Grinning.

“So different people find different things funny. And-?”

“Different is ok.” Rote response..

“Different is ok.” Meh smiles a little

Colt looks at the table, then the floor and back again. He gets up, puts his plate on the table and sits in the chair. He makes a face, but eats his food.

“I still like the floor better.” Grumbling

“Then how about a compromise?” Meh, still calm. “We’ll get a table for the floor here, but if we’re anywhere else you use the chairs.”

“Alright.” Looking at his mom again. “Richard, does mom look weird or is it just me?”

“Uh...no, she does.” Richard giving Meh a guilty look. “Sorry mom.”

“No, it's alright. It took some getting used to for me too.” Sees Irisa is totally lost. “A lot can happen to change a person in 12 years. We weren’t quite this...pristine aftering being in space that long.”

“Does your neck still hurt?” Richard, carefully.

“No, Richard, it doesn’t.” Giving him a brief smile. “The thing that hurt my neck isn’t there and won’t be, so I don’t have to worry about it now.”

“Does that mean you can’t plug into stuff anymore?” Colt, around a mouthful of food.

“Yes, I can, but...it’s a bit complicated.” Waving a hand. “The point is, Uncle Joe still has both his eyes and a few less scars and I have a distinct lack of neck and back pain and about 30 lbs less hardware stuffed into me. All in all, it's a win-win.”

“Why doesn’t Uncle Joe live with us anymore?”

“Well, we’re just hitting all the big ones tonight, aren’t we?” Meh, grumbling to herself. “Well...you know we talked about this. About if we got back to earth things would be different.”

“Yeah, but Irisa practically lives here and she’s like our big sister. Or that’s what Richard said.” Glancing at Irisa who looks pleased. “Why can’t Uncle Joe live here too? There’s room.”

“...your sense of space is a bit off there, squirt.” Rolling her eyes. “Besides, your Uncle Joe has his reasons. And they’re...good ones, so...it just is what it is, alright?”

“I don’t like it.”

“There’s a lot of things I don’t like, but that doesn’t mean I can do anything about it.” Meh. “Sometimes, we just have to live with what we have and accept that.”

“You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit!” Richard, grinning.

“Ugh, I hate that.” Colt, grumbling.

“Yeah, sometimes me too.” Irisa with a half-smile.

“But, I do have some news about something you are going to get.” Meh, sitting down with them.

“A pet??”

“No, we’re going to wake Becca up in a few days. And after that, you’ll have two new siblings. A brother and a sister.”

“Really??” Richard, getting excited. 

“Oh.” Colt, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I guess that’s cool.”

“You don’t want more brothers and sisters?” Irisa, jogging his elbow.

“I mean...I guess it’ll be cool to have more people to play with.” Thinking. “And another boy would mean we still have more boys than girls, right?”

“Not with Irisa, then it's still even.” Thinking. “Does Mayor Rosewater count, mom? Is she part of the family?”

“She’s...Nolan’s family. Sort of.” Looking at something she’s playing with in her hands. “Like we talked about before, things are...different here. The important thing is that our family is a little bigger and a little better. Because we’re no longer alone. Ok?”

“Ok.”

Irisa stays over again, and sleeps next to Richard with Meh next to him and Colt on the far side. Colt is always on the outside since he kicks in his sleep. Colt is right out. Richard rolls over to Irisa.

“Did you go see Deputy Tarr and Luke the other night?”

“I did.” Meh turns towards them listening.

“Did he kiss you?” 

“Richard!” Meh, hissed.

“No, he didn’t.” Smiling in the dark. “For some reason, the older boys get, the more scared they are to kiss you.”

“That’s silly.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Serious.

“No.” Firm but gentle. “No, he’s a big boy and we’ll work it out eventually.” Wrinkling her nose. “Besides, it's...complicated.”

Richard sighs. “That’s just a word adults use when they don’t want to explain things.”

“Well, not everything is your business.” Meh, dryly. “Get used to it.”

“Fine.” Sighing. “Can you tell me a story?”

“Maybe Irisa knows one. An Irathient one you haven’t heard before.”

“Do you know any stories?” Richard. Irisa tells one. Meh wakes up a few hours later. She goes downstairs and cleans the lab, then goes to her kitchen with a tablet and gets to work. When the kids wake up, her hands are aching. She cooks and Irisa volunteers to take Colt shopping. Nolan pops in to take Richard to school. They’ll sign Colt up the next day. The plan for the littlest ones is for Irisa to take care of them during the day. She’s only doing the occasional night shift as Deputy right now, and really enjoying her extra time with the kids. 

-090-

Berlin goes to Amanda to say goodbye. It's better than last time, Amanda’s a little more understanding this time. Offers Defiance as a ‘home base’ for her and Conrad. Berlin promises to bring it up, but first she needs to go West with him, to face his family. It's what they need to do. Amanda’s not thrilled by the idea, but...she gets it. Better than before, at least. She’s especially torn because while things  _ seem _ to be working out with Doc and the kids, she’s still not entirely certain where she stands with them all the time. Whereas she always knows exactly where she stands with Berlin. They hug. Berlin hands in her badge to Nolan, and heads out of town. 

Before this add in Berlin asking Amanda just what the heck is going on with Nolan and Irisa and Doc and the kids. 

Also asks who she should hand off the task looking after the victims families off too, and Amanda just gives her a blank look.

Hand off what to who?

-090-

Amanda realizing just how much Meh is supporting the effected families alone. Understands but is also frustrated. Confronts Meh about it at the clinic, doesn't really come to a satisfactory resolution. Meh basically says she can help or stay out of her way. In the midst of this a woman marches in, goes straight to Samir. Completely ignores Doc. Demands her medicine. Samir looks to Doc who nods and motions for him to take care of it. The casithan nods to Amanda when she's done, then walks out.

"I'm sorry, who was that?"

Meh tells her. Then, "I fed her husband and son to the Omec because they came by for her refill while I was gathering victims. She's understably upset about that."

"Then why doesn't she go to another doctor?"

"There isn't another doctor who can treat what she has in Defiance, and especially now that the two best breadwinners of her family tree are gone there's no scrip to go anywhere else. She has to take her medicine or she can't work, so she comes to get it and pretends I don't exist. Which is kinder than some have been, so I don't mind."

Amanda doesn't entirely believe that last statement. Meh has someone come in who genuinely needs help, and leaves for now. Sends Meh a note later saying she'll handle deliveries for her, and that Defiance will help with the costs. They don't speak of it again, and Amanda doesn't tell Nolan even though she suspects he doesn't know. 

-090-

Irisa and Colt get back from shopping, Colt spies the charge blade saw in Meh’s workroom. Decides to fix the table himself while Irisa checks in with Doc downstairs.

Meh and Irisa come upstairs to find him cutting off the fourth leg. Irisa is impressed. Meh is not pleased.

Colt replies that he’s wearing safety glasses, gloves and measured carefully before he cut. Irisa flips the table over, and it's perfectly level.

“New rules,” Meh said, turning to her son. “Everything in my work room is off limits unless you are given specific verbal permission to do so by either myself or Irisa.”

“What about Uncle Joe?” Hopeful.

“Nope, and you know why.” Poking his nose.

“What about paper and pencils?”

“ _ Especially _ not paper and pencils.” Mock serious. “In all seriousness...things are different down here, ok squirt? So until we’ve figured it all out, try and curb the ‘do first, think later’ for awhile, ok?” Looking at the table. “That being said...you did a good job, and you remembered the safety equipment. Now all we need are cushions for the floor.” Looking to Irisa. “I don’t suppose...?”

“We can go get them.” Impressed with the kid’s skills. 

Meh’s hailer chirps. It's Samir. Irisa and Colt head back out to find cushions.

Nolan meets them while bringing Richard back from school. He comments about Irisa spending too much money on the kids. She said Meh gave it to her. She thinks she sold something, to pay for it all. Nolan drops it.

-090-

Nolan and Amanda at dinner. He’s distracted, but doesn’t tell her why. He’s thinking about whatever it is that Meh sold. He says he has something to do after dinner, and goes to the market. Finds what Meh sold, and purchases it back. It takes just about every bit of scrip he’s got, but at least it's safe now. Then he goes to meet Meh and Amanda at the clinic to wake up Becca. 

-090-

Amanda goes up with the boys and Irisa, finds her sitting on the smaller one, tickling him mercilessly.

“Miss Rosewater!” Richard, from the floor table.

“Hey Richard. You can just call me Amanda.” Skirting the wrestling pair. 

“Our teacher at school said we should call you Miss Rosewater or Madame Rosewater because you’re the mayor.” Worried.

“That’s true,” Amanda said as she settled in across from him at the tale. “But...when I’m here, visiting, Amanda is fine. Because I’m not here as the Mayor, I’m here as your Uncle Joe’s friend. And Irisa’s and your mom’s.”

“A  _ very special _ friend.” Irisa, she now has Colt in a headlock. “Just like Doc talked about the other night!”

“So, what is your homework for tonight?” Amanda, ignoring her.

“Doing some tests for Mr. Nagine,” he replied calmly. “He said I might be too far along in math for him to teach, but mom already though that might be the case. She’s got some programs I can work through at school, so I’m not being disruptive when the other kids in my class are learning math.”

“I thought our school taught through lower college level math.” Confused. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Richard said as he worked his way through a dense equation. “But mom says that even though we look like Castithans and Iratients, we learn like indogenes.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about that.” Colt, squirming free of Irisa’s hold.

“Well, not with just anyone,” Richard said as he went back to work. “But this is Amanda and Irisia they’re...family, right? Like mom said.” He looks up at Amanda.

She quickly smiles. “Right.”

Something to ask Nolan about later.

-090-

Nolan sat beside Meh on the bed, arms and shoulders touching as they held the scared toddler between them.

“You wouldn't be letting me this close if Amand was down here, would you?” he asked as he caught her eye over the girl’s head. 

“No,” Meh agreed bluntly as she stroked the long, silky red hair. “I wouldn’t. She already thinks I’m in love with you. Or did. It’s a conversation I don’t want to have twice.”

“If only she knew..” Wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Don’t.” Giving him a look. “This is the way it is, and it's fine.” The crying subsides to quiet hiccups. “Becca?” The girl raised her head and stared up at them with intensely blue eyes. It took a minute to realise what was wrong with her face- she had castithan bone structure and irathient coloring.

“There’s our pretty girl,” Nolan said, gently tucking her hair behind one ear. “Do you know who I am?”

“Uncle Joe,” the small child replied in her tiny voice. She turned to Meh and said, “Mommy? Where Richie? Colt?”

“They’re upstairs waiting to see you. And they’re fine.” Holding her tight and kissing the top of her sticky head. Immediately regretting it, trying to wipe it away on her sleeve. 

“Yeah, you need a bath.” Nolan said as he made a face at the girl. “You’re a sticky mess, Bitsy.”

“The girl grinned, and tried to rub her face against his. “Sticky mess! Sticky mess!”

“I’m sure  _ whoever _ taught her that regrets it now.” Meh, still trying to wipe the taste of stasis fluid off her mouth. 

“Obviously, it was someone who had no idea the monster they would unleash.” Barely fending her off with a grin.

“Clearly,” she agreed with a pointed smirk.

“Uncle Joe, Uncle Joe!”

“Yes Bitsy?”

“I missed you.” Holding his face with her sticky hands.

“I missed you too, Bitsy.” Smiling even as a bit of the gel-like fluid starts to run down his neck. 

“Bisty! I Bitsy-Becca.”

“Yes you are! She good, Meh? Even without the-”

“Yeah, she is.” Grinning widely. “No more glasses for you, Bitsy! That’s exciting, eh?”

“Yay!!”

“Let’s go, Bitsy!” Hefting the child into his arms. “It’s bath time for you.”

“Bath, bath, bath!”

Meh follows them upstairs. There, they find chaos. Richard and Colt are holding Irisa down, and she’s pretending they’re winning. Amanda is sitting at the table, laughing with Richard’s homework stacked beside her. The boys break off as soon as they see Becca, running to Nolan. They ask about her glasses, and celebrate when they find out she doesn’t need them anymore. They get a moment while Meh is preparing the bath. She comes back to get Becca, and Nolan goes to wash away the sticky before wrestling with the boys. Amanda watches, smiling. He’s good with kids. Irisa sits with her, drinking some water.

“Is this what it was like, when you were younger?”

“Sometimes still is.” Irisa is still smiling. “Though it wasn’t very often. We spent a lot of time running and hiding.” Smile fading a bit. “I’m glad it won’t be like that for these guys.”

“Me too.”

Irisa sees an opening and dives back in, taking her father out at the knees. “Get him boys!”

Meh comes out with Becca a few minutes later. Glances at the still wrestling knot on the floor, and walks around it. “Amanda, this is Becca. Becca, this-”

“Pretty lady! Pretty lady!”

“That’s right.” Smiling a bit. “Could you hold onto her for a minute? Away from the chaos?” To Amanda.

“Sure.” Amanda holds her hands out, and Becca climbs into her lap. It distracts Amanda from wondering why Doc looks strange. When Doc returns it clicks, her sleeves were rolled up and she was sans gloves and coat. Now it's all back on, though the coat isn’t zipping all the way up. She scoops up some of what looks like stew and puts it on the table. Its a pleasant smell that’s been in the background the whole time that 

“C’mon, Bitsy, time to eat.”

“Wanna stay here,” Emphatic, snuggling into Amanda.

Amanda looked at Meh, “I...” Panicky.

“Did you ask if you could stay?” Meh, calmly.

“I can stay, please?” Looking up at Amanda.

Amanda looks to Meh. “Are you sure-?”

“If I minded, she wouldn’t be in your lap.” Frank.

Amanda smiles at Becca. “Sure you can stay. But you have to eat your dinner.”

Becca pokes it with a spoon. “Don’t want it.”

“But it's good, see?” Amanda picks out a piece of meat, and eats it. “Mm....that’s really good, actually.” She takes another bite. Then sees the look of utter betrayal Becca is giving her.

“Not eat my food!” Pulling the bowl away. “This Becca’s food! You're not Becca!” Promptly stuffs her face.

Amanda looks up at Meh, who’s at the counter cleaning the boy’s dishes. “Tsk tsk. Stealing a poor girl’s food. That’s not very nice. Amanda.” She half turns, and the Mayor can see her amused smirk.”

“Not nice!” Becca agrees between bites. Amanda’s not sure what to say. She finishes, and the wrestling wraps up. Meh sends the boys to brush their teeth.

“You about ready to head out, kiddo?” Nolan, stretching.

“Actually, I’m staying over again.”

“Really?” Pleased smile.

“Her bed is better than mine.” Shrugging.

“How’s it stack up against Alak’s?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“That’s a good answer. I like that answer.”

“Dad...”

“I know, kiddo, I...just don’t want you to rush into anything.”

“I’m not this time. I promise.”

The boys come back. Amanda says she has a question for Meh, so Irisa takes them to lay down. “Don’t forget to put Colt on the outside.” Nolan.

“Why?” Amanda.

Nolan and Meh together. “He kicks.”

“He’s like seven. How bad can it be?”

“Go sleep next to him for a night and then we’ll talk.” Nolan.

“C’mere, Bitsy.” Becca goes to Meh, snuggles into her jacket. Half-zips it like a cocoon. “Good?”

“Yeah.” Sleepy yawn.

“You had a question for me?”

The kids brains. Meh explains about genetic experiments, and what happens to clones versus new materials, etc. Growth spurts in learning. The way the kids aren’t slowing down like normal for their mental growth. Their brains are more indogene. Their physical looks are that of the ‘other race’.

“Except for the baby.” Nolan

“Yes, she’s...something else.”

“What do you mean?”

“AI arktech is all well and good, but it has limitations. Including a lack of personality. T’evgin was trying to create an indogene that could  _ become _ the brain of a ship.”

“Did he succeed?”

“...I don’t know. Her pod was damaged, and by the time we found her she had long since passed. I read his notes, but we quietly laid her and the boy to rest as quickly as possible. It seemed the right thing to do, at the time. And we had our hands plenty full with the other three.”

“I’m sorry.”

“The truth is...I don’t know how she will do. T’evgin never meant for any of them to actually live. His notes indicate that he would grow his test subjects to puberty to assess his work, then destroy them and recycle the meat in meals. Wash, rinse, repeat. There were more than 30 trials before these five.”

“Oh, god.” Amanda.

“I’m sorry if it feels like we're hiding something from you.” Nolan. “We just wanted to get them out first. Make sure they were ok.”

Meh unconsciously holds the sleeping Becca a little closer.

“Well then, I guess I just have one more question.” Irisa, coming back. “Is Becca named after who I think she’s named after?”

“I named her.” Nolan. “After Rebecca. My big sister.”

“You never talk about her.” Amanda. “In fact, before this I don’t think I even knew you had a sister.”

“Yeah, well...it’s a sad story. And I don’t like sad stories.”

“Don’t feel bad.” Irisa. “The only reason I know she even existed was the ark-tech dream we shared.” To Doc. “When did you find out?”

“During a screaming match,” Meh admitted ruefully. “In which we were both trying to one-up the other in who had lost more to the Pale Wars. But he didn’t actually tell me anything about her until we found Becca.”

“Oh chup, I remember that.” Nolan, rubbing his face. “I felt like a piece of shtako for days...I did apologize for-?”

“Yeah, yeah. And I did for...”

“Yeah.”

A quiet moment together. 

“You didn’t have anyone you wanted to name Becca after?” Irisa.

“No.” Simple and firm, offering nothing more. Irisa opens her mouth, then drops it. Amanda wonders what she’s missed. “However, I need to get Bitsy to bed.”

“Right.” Nolan hops up. “I’ll be back for the boys in the morning.”

“Sounds good.”

Nolan hugs Meh and though she gives him an annoyed look she hugs him back. Amanda just waves as they go.

Meh goes to bed feeling more complete than she has in weeks. 

Amanda and Nolan talk out Becca. Go to sleep settled. All is well, for now.

-090-

Meh wakes up after a few hours of sleep, as usual, and leaves kids and Irisa fast asleep. Cleans up the clinic, then comes back up. She goes to her work room, and pulls out some equipment she rarely uses. Allows her to split her vision and work on two tasks at once. She should write memories with one hand and review notes about the baby with the other, but something Nolan said makes her pause. So instead, she digs out a pad of paper and some charcoal stick and gets to work with her other hand.

-090-

Irisa wakes up in the early hours to two little hands patting her face.

“Is-sa! Is-sa!”

“Becca?” Groggy.

“Gotta pee!” Hurried whisper.

“Oh? Oh! Ok...uh...” Pulling herself up, they hurry to the bathroom...and don’t quite make it. Becca starts to cry.

Meh comes in from the back room, and for a moment Iris swears her eyes are looking in different directions. Then she blinks, and all is well.

“Ah, Bitsy...” Taking her from Irisia. “It’s alright let’s get you in the bathroom. “She looks at Irisa. “Do you want to borrow some clothes?”

“Yep.” She’s soaked in pee.

Meh cleans up Becca, hands the bathroom over to Irisa. The tub is actually a hip-bath, combined with modern plumbing. Irisa isn’t surprised by either. She takes the pants and shirt Meh leaves her for. Both are grey and slightly loose. She comes out to Meh making breakfast. It's hot cereal with dried fruit and spices mixed in. She and the boys eat hungrily. Becca has only a little. She’s still sniffly from earlier. She looks worried when Irisa sits down.

“Hey, it's alright bizzy.”

“Bitsty,” She corrected Irisa quietly. “Like itsy bitsy ‘pider.” Irisa crinkles her nose.

“What’s what?”

“A human nursery rhyme.” Meh, eating her own small bowl. “About a spider who persistently climbs. That’s something to remember, actually. She’s a climber too.”

“Oh.”

“She’s not angry, bitsy, accidents happen...”

Add in someth big brother talk. Nolan comes to get the boys, asks about Irisa’s clothes.

Irisa, calmly. “They’re comfortable, and she said I could borrow them.”

“...ok.” Getting the let it go look from Meh. “Let's go boys you’ve got school!”

They head out. 

“You’re free this morning,” Meh to Irisa. “If you want to go work a shift at Deputying.”

“No, I’m on break actually while I try and figure some things out.”

“Like what?”

“Like whether or not I still want to be a Deputy. Or...maybe whether or not I’m cut out to be a mom.” Looking away. “How did you decide?”

“There was no decision. They needed me as a parent, I was available. End of story.”

“You could have said no. You could have...left them in their pods, or shot them out into space. Disposed of them humanely and moved on.” Watching Becca as she explores the house. “So why didn’t you?”

“Because I took an oath to do what would always save the most lives. And leaving them to die had no net gain, so I had to take them in. Save them.” Sighing. “Then the little parasites wrapped themselves around my heart and wouldn’t let go. Go figure.”

Irisa is thinking. “...is that why you convinced the E-Rep to kill me?”

“Yes.” Looking away. “It wasn’t personal. But one life traded for billions was a more than fair trade, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“At the time, dad said it was because you were too afraid to die.”

“Well, at the risk of sounding vain and arrogant, usually keeping myself alive means more people are going to live.” Shrugs. “I’m a doctor and a scientist. Even with minimal equipment and supplies my presence means people won’t die from preventable causes as long as they can get to me in time.”

“I guess that’s true. I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“Look...you know I don’t do ‘feelings’ talks well, but...if you want to be in Luke and Alak’s life, then do it. And if you don’t...then let him go so he can find someone else.”

“Make a decision?” Sad smile. “I’d like to, but I can’t get something my dad once said out of my head. ‘A dead spouse is always a saint.”

“Wise words, in that if someone believes it, its probably not someone you would want to be involved with.” Shrugging. “But if you can admit they were both good and bad, and so were you...you might have shot.”

“So...there are no saints?”

“More it's all relative.” Shrugging. “Saints and sinners. Men and monsters. Which you are depends on who you’re standing next to.”

“That's true.” Smiling a bit. “Thanks. You’re sure you don’t need me?”

“No. But if you need somewhere to eat dinner or sleep for the night, the door is always open. Anyone who can wear Colt out before bedtime is always welcome.” Smirky. A quick hug, and she leaves.

-090-

Irisa and Alak meet while she goes home to change. She makes plans so see him and Luke that night. Sees Amanda fter that. Gets more comments on her clothes.

“Don’t knock ‘em til you try ’em. They’re actually really soft.”

Amanda feels the arm. Is surprised. Wonders why. Maybe indogenes have very sensitive skin? Hmmm...

-090-

Nolan and Amanda come for dinner that night. Amanda comments on Meh being a good cook.

“Cooking is chemistry, and I’m good at chemistry.”

“...really?” Explain, explain, explain.

After dinner, Richard and Meh are on the floor table together, Colt and Nolan are arm wrestling and Amanda is braiding Becca’s hair. They go see what Meh and Richard are up to. They’re racing solving parabolic equations. Meh always wins, until Amanda whispers in Becca's ear. The race begins, and Becca goes after Meh’s side, tickling. Richard wins! Becca gets mercilessly tickled back. Amanda finds it all very adorable. Nolan is watching while hanging Colt upside down with a smile. His family, together. And Irisa isn’t missing just...being somewhere else starting a family of her own. Nothing can go wrong now!

-090-

Samir and Meh, discussing his position in the clinic the next day. He’s coming along well, and knows he still has a lot to learn. She’s still heavily reliant on him for the next few months. It's all good!

-090-

Meh decides to ‘decant’ the 4 year old first. Nolan is with her, Amanda with Irisa and the kids.

It goes wrong from the first.

-090-

Becca was almost asleep, laying half on the table. The boys are quietly playing a game, yawning every other word. Amanda pauses beside Irisa in passing. “Is it taking longer than the last few times, or is it just me?”

“No, it's definitely taking longer.” Irisa is worried.

Becca sits up. “I’m tired.”

Irisa. “Then let’s go to bed. I’ll come lay down with you. Boys?”

“We can’t go to bed without Mom or Uncle Joe.” Colt. “We  _ never _ do that.”

“Well...” Irisa, not sure what to do next.

“Let me go downstairs.” Amanda, quickly. “So one of them can come up, ok? I’m sure it will be fine.”

“And we’ll go get comfy and wait for them.” Irisa, picking Becca up and carrying her into the bedroom. “C’mon boys! PJ’s and teeth brushed, let’s go.”

Amanda quickly heads down, and into the surgical room.

Meh is standing with her face in Nolan’s shoulder and he’s holding her tightly. The body on the table looks all the smaller for all the tubes and lines running in and out of it. Amanda doesn’t have to be able to read the machines to know the truth, Nolan’s face has it written all over it. Stepping back quickly, because somehow she knows this is too private to intrude on, she closes the door hard and goes, “Noland? Doc?”

Coming back in, they’re separated and Meh is surreptitiously wiping her face as Nolan scrubs his with both hands. Waiting until they were both looking up, she added, “...I’m sorry.”

“We knew it was a possibility.” Nolan quietly. “Is everything alright upstairs?”

“The kids were asking for you.” Clearing her throat. “Both of you. They said they can’t go to sleep...”

“Meh?”

“I don’t think I can...’” Staring at the body.

“I got it.” Putting a hand on her arm. “Call Samir, and let him take care of the rest.”

“No, I can’t do that to him.” She lays a hand on the small chest, and for the first time Amanda realizes its rising and falling. “I’ll finish this myself.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”Not looking up, but gently pushing him away. “I can do this.”

Nolan goes to Amanda and mouthed,” Stay with her.” And leaves.

Meh stands over the body for a minute, then takes a deep shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry,” she said as she opened a drawer and pulled out a syringe. “This won’t hurt a bit.” She prepared the needle, and held his hand as she inserted it into the line. A minute later, the machines all go flat. She still holds on to the limps hand as she begins to disconnect the lines.

Amanda steps closer. “Is there something I can do to help?”

Meh looks up, startled. The motions across the room. “A tray fell.”

It looks like someone threw it, but Amanda keeps that to herself and begins to pick it up. Doc works silent and steady, every once in a while pausing to take a deep breath. By the time she is done, so is Amanda. Meh goes and fills a bowl with warm water and brings it back to the body. Amanda gets out the sponges and hands one to her. Together, they gently work to clean the body. And after a bit, Meh starts to speak.

“I don't know how I missed it. Now I can see it. The half-formed ridges on his upturned nose. The way his hair line runs nearly to his chin. He’s part liberata.” A pause. “He was struggling to breathe. Scans showed a structural flaw in one lung. We gave him oxygen, assuming he was irathient. His coloring is nearly identical to Colt’s, so it's possible he is that too. He still breathed nitrogen instead of oxygen. The overload in his blood gave him a seizure. The seizure triggered a stroke. The stroke turned into a massive bleed. Before I could do more than stabilize his vitals, he was gone.”

“Doc...it was an accident.”

“This was this kid’s one shot at life. I screwed that up.” Picking up the towel, she dries him gently. Then she wraps the body in a clean sheet, and carefully picks him up. Usually, they use a stretcher, but in this case the boy is small and light in her arms. Amanda gets the door for her. The morgue is next door, Amanda gets that door as well, and flips on the lights. It's set in the ground to insulate it, and has a cold system in place. It's still musty and unpleasant. Meh goes to an empty cot and lays the body down. Then she stops and stares at it. She doesn’t say anything, but her body is taut with grief. 

“Doc.” Putting an arm around her gently. “It’s ok to cry.”

Sob sobs sob. Meh holds herself tightly. Amanda holds Meh. Doc’s only concession is resting her forehead on Amanda’s shoulder. Afterwards:

“...ah...thanks.” Awkward, stepping slightly away. 

“It’s alright,” letting her arms fall away. 

Irisa is still awake when they come upstairs. To Amanda’s surprise, she goes right to Meh and wraps her in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry.”

Meh hesitantly responds, relaxing into the embrace. “Me too.”

Irisa lets go. “Dad’s asleep with the kids.”

“Of course he is.” Sad smirk. “Story of my life with that guy. I swear, he lays down he falls asleep.” To Amanda. “Though I admit the only reason I wanted him awake was to help with the dishes or folding clothes.”

Irisa laughs. “Good luck getting him to do that!”

“So that’s not just me? Good to know.” They both glance at Amanda.

“What?”

“Never mind, it wouldn’t even be fair to ask.” Meh

“Why not?” Irisa.

“Please, any time there’s sex involved all bets are off.”

“Guys, I’m sure it's not that bad.” Amanda.

Meh gives her a look. “Alright. Does Nolan...put the seat lid after using the toilet?”

“Of course.”

Irisa just looks at her, then shakes her head. “Ok...does he put his towel back on the rack after he uses it.”

“Yeah.’

Meh. “Does he throw his clothes on the floor at night or put them on a chair or something?”

“...that depends...   
  


“Ok, that’s fair.” Meh, waving her hands. “The point is, he has no reason to impress you or me. You’re his daughter, I was trapped with him in space. He does her, because she could always pick someone else.”

Irisa shaking her head. “You’re right. Huh.”

“Ok, well on that weird note, I’m going home.”

“Amanda, it's like 2 in the morning. Just stay here.” Irisa. Then to Meh, “I mean, there’s room, right?”

Grief is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

“Doc?”

Meh looks up. “Huh?”

“I’ll just go home.” Amanda.

“By yourself?” Doc, worried.

“I’m a big girl.”

“She can sleep herer, right?” Irisa. “There’s room.”

“Yeah, sure, just kick your shoes off and go find a spot.”

“Guys, I can walk myself home.” Amanda.

“Sure,” Meh replied with a shrug. “And in the morning, when we tell Nolan we let you walk home alone he’ll still be upset.” To Irisa. “Go get your coat. You can walk her home and stay over and her place. Lots of beds there, I’ve heard.”

“Ha ha ha.” Amanda. 

“I promised the kids I’d be here in the morning.”

“Fine, I’ll get my coat too.” Turning around. “So you aren’t alone walking back. That would be almost as bad as the other.”

“She’s a Deputy and regularly patrols at night by herself!” 

“Yes, with a gun and a badge. Neither of which she has night now, I see.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll stay.” Amanda taking her coat off. “If only to get you to bed sooner, Doc.”

“Words I never thought to hear in this lifetime.” Meh dryly.

“Well, I heard it's a very comfortable bed...” Putting her coat on a chair and emptying her pockets on the table. Any and all weapons are put off to one side, out of reach, though the kids already know better than to touch them. 

“It is.” Irisa yawning. “Good night!” She heads in. 

“I’ll be just a minute.” Meh, unzipping her overcoat. “Go ahead without me.”

Amanda waits a minute, then follows her into the front room. Meh is leafing through some papers with a single lamp on.

“Doc?” Around a yawn. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, just...nothing.” Putting the papers down, looking away. “...I don’t think I can sleep yet.”

“You should still try.” Crossing her arms. “The kids need you.”

“I will in a minute, you go ahead.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Why?”

“Because, Doc, if you’re anything like me one minute becomes fifteen which becomes an hour which becomes dawn...all because there was no one to guilt me into going to sleep.”

“Alright, I give in.” Turning the light off. “After you.”

Irisa cleared a spot for them in the middle, on either side of Nolan. Amanda takes the spot by Richard, Meh has the one with Becca. The girl gravitates to her like a lodestone. For a few hours at least, they all sleep.

-090-

Samir is not used to arriving at the clinic and finding it closed. Finding it also a mess, he gets worried. Chirping Doc gets him nothing. He eventually goes upstairs. He’s met at the door by a half-dressed Nolan. Pants and an undershirt, no socks or shoes. 

“Samir. What is it?”

“Lawkeeper Nolan!” Flustered. “I...uh...is Doctor Yewll ok? The surgery is a mess and she’s not answering-”

“Oh, right.” Quickly. “...the kid last night didn’t make it. Doc’s going to need a day or two to sort things out. Unless it's an emergency, you handle it, ok?”

“Got it, sir.” Seriously. “And...tell her I’m sorry for her loss.”

“I will.” Nolan checks the time. “Ah, chup, we’re late for school. Richard! Colt!”

-090-

Amanda woke to someone gently shaking her shoulder, and opened her eyes to Irisa holding a finger to her mouth. Silently she rose, glancing to the side to see Yewll still rolled unmoving in her blankets.

“You have a hailer call.” irsia explained as she handed over a breakfast roll. Bread baked around some sort of sausage. Tea is waiting on the counter. 

“Got it.” Taking the hailer to the front room, finding Becca there coloring. She’s talking to her assistant when there is a loud knock at the door. She hangs up with her call, and opens the door to find Nolan hurrying up the steps behind a beaming Datak.

“Mayor, what a pleasant surprise!” Ignoring Nolan who is hissing his name behind him as he hurries up the stairs. “I’ve got to congratulate my friend and her new family member!”

“Will you keep it down?” Nolan, hissed.

“Why? What’s the big secret?”

Amanda, grabbing his arm and pulling him close. “There were...problems. The kid didn’t make it.”

“Oh no...” Realization dawning. “Where’s Meh?”

“Sleeping?” Amanda, glancing back inside.

Datak glances at the sky. “At this time? I doubt it.”

“I just saw her, I’m pretty sure she was asleep.” Amanda.

“She’s also an accomplished liar.” More gently. “Please let me pass. I would like to be with my friend in her grief.” Amanda looks at Nolan, who nods. “Thank you.”

Nolan looks at her and smiles.

“What?”

“Thanks for staying last night.” Quick kiss. “And for sticking with Meh. Irisa told me about it.”

“What else did she tell you about?”

“Nothing. Was there something else she was supposed to tell me?”

“No, nothing.” Deciding it's not worth it.

“Ok.”

“I need to head in for awhile. Is there anything you think you need or-?”

“No. Irisa’s going to take Becca out for a while, and I’ll stick around here with Meh. She mostly prefers to be alone, but I still want to be here if she needs me.”

  
“I understand.” Another kiss. “I’ll come by later to check on you.”   
  


“I’ll look forward to it.” She heads out.

-090-


	3. Part 3

Datak entered the bedroom and took a deep breath. Seeing Meh lying so still (too still, really) he said, “Well, at least you can honestly say you got Amanda Rosewater in your bed at last.”

“...I’m not in the mood, Datak.” Sitting up slowly.

“I know my friend, and I’m sorry.” Sitting next to her, moving a blanket out of the way. “What happened?”

“An accident. A mistake. Maybe an inevitability. I don’t know.”

“It’s not like you not to look for answers.”

“I couldn’t decide which would be worse.” Discovering it was my fault and I could have saved him, or that there was literally nothing I could have done at all to prevent it.”

“Meh.” Putting a hand on her shoulder. “I won't pretend to understand your grief. Just know that I am here should you wish to talk.”

“Thanks pal.” Putting a hand over his. “I appreciate that. Now get out of my bedroom before you start getting ideas.”

He barks a laugh. “Don’t ever change, Meh. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“And my age...unlikely.”

-090-

Nolan stood at the counter and tried to figure out what he was forgetting. List list list. The clinic is taken care of, food figured out for the day, a deputy handling his shift, the boys at school, Becca with Irisa, Meh still in her room...

Datak came out, and gently shut the door behind himself.

“My wife will be by later,” he said as he approached the lawkeeper somberly. “With three days worth of food for the family. It is a traditional gift for friends in times of mourning.”

“Thanks.” Surprised. “That’s...very decent of you.”

“Anything for Meh. I offered to attend the service for the child, but she said she plans to lay the boy to rest tonight, in a private ceremony.”

“Sounds like Meh.”

Nodding. “Nolan, I know that we often do not see eye to eye. But you can trust me on this: Meh is my friend. If she needs something, anything, you need only ask.”

“...I believe you. We’ll let you know.”

“Thank you, I’ll see myself out.” He goes.

Nolan goes into the bedroom. Meh is standing at the window, staring at the street below. She doesn’t move, but he knows she knows he’s there. 

“Hey...anything I can get you?”

“Q. I want to strangle him.”

“He had a pretty big neck, and your hands, like, tiny. You probably wouldn't even make a dent.”

“Asshat.”

“Mm, now I know something’s wrong. When your insults go from clever to crass, it's time to worry.”

“Oh, nothing big. Just had a child die on my table last night. One I was going to take into my home and raise as my own.” Shrugging listlessly. “The usual.”

“Meh, we knew it wasn’t a guarantee.”

“I know, I know.” Shaking her head. “He was so  _ small _ . So helpless...” Meh doesn’t sob, the tears just flow silently down her face. She wipes some away. “I didn’t think I had any tears left.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there before.” Holding her close. “What do you want to do?”

“He was a Votan. We’ll burn him and scatter the ashes.” Shaking her head. “As small as he is...it shouldn’t take long.”

“When?”

“Tonight. Just outside of town.” shaking her head. “I don’t want anyone else around. It's not their business.”

“Doc...there’s a lot of people in the town who would probably stand with you if they knew. Would want to pay their respects.”

“Please, no need to lie on my behalf Nolan.” Wiping her face. “I’ve burned too many bridges in this town.”

“Maybe. But I like to think they remember more of the lives you saved than the ones you lost.”

“The answer is no.”

“...alright.” Sniffing. “We’ll take him out at dusk, and stay until it's done. And I don’t want to hear any arguments about ‘I can do it alone’ or ‘the kids need me more’. Amanda and Irisa can take care of the kids. We lost one of  _ our _ kids, and we’re going to put him to rest together.”

“I don’t think I have the strength to argue anymore.” Wiping her face again. “Though for some inexplicable reason I still have tears. It is possible to dehydrate yourself by crying?”

“I have no idea. You’re the doctor.” Chuckling.

“I’ve never had cause to find out.”

“Well, think of it as scientific research if it helps.”

“For a dumb person you occasionally have really good ideas.”

“Well, for a mean person you’re sometimes almost sweet.”

“Shut up.”

-090-

Irisa and Becca in the marketplace, the girl up on her shoulders. They run into Alak. Irisa remembers-

“I’m sorry, I completely forgot. Dad and Doc...”

“It’s ok, I know. Dad got in touch with me this morning, to see if I would help mom carry food over to Doc’s place. I just wanted to see if there was anything else I could do.”

“No...but I did want to say I appreciate everything you're doing for my dad. He said you’ve been picking up a lot of his slack while he’s been busy with Doc and the kids.”

“Yeah, no. I’m...happy to help.” Trying to stand up tall. “I'm actually surprised the Mayor’s ok with it, though.”

“Why?”

“Would you be ok if your boyfriend was spending all of his time with another woman and her kids?”

“If their family it would be fine. And Doc’s family.”

“..I see.” He doesn’t.

“It’s really not a big deal. She even stayed with us last night at Doc’s.”

“Really?” Thinking. “So...her and your dad...and the Mayor...you know what? It's not my business. Never mind. Just let me know if there’s anything else I can do. At all.”

“I will.” Smiling up at him. “I guess I'll see you in a little bit, then.”

“Yeah. Bye Becca.”

“By Mr. Alak.”

-090-

“Your hair looks fine,” Stamah said as she caught her son fussing with it for the third time.

“I’m just...trying to make a good impression.” Muttered. 

“Surely not on Irisa. I could smell her all over Luke the other morning.”

“Mom.” Warning.

“Realx, my darling, as it so happens your father and I approve- for now. She has proven to be excellent with Luke, and she has made you smile again.” Touching his face. “After wondering if you were even alive for almost a year, I find little else matters.”

“Do you think Christie would approve?”

“I think Christie would only need so see the way she looks at Luke to know you chose well, my son.”

“...thanks.” Straightening his collar. “I’m ready when you are.

The roller delivered them to the front door, and Alak got out before helping his mother down a well. She takes out one basket, and he two others. Nolan meets them at the door.

“Come on in.” Standing back. “Doc had to go down to see a patient, but she should be back any minute. You can take the food through here to the kitchen.”

“Of course, Lawkeeper.” Her little bow. “Our deepest condolences in your time of loss. We will not intrude upon your grief long, but hope these small gifts warm your spirits and ease your pain.”

“Uh...thanks?” Leaning closer. “It, uh...smells good.”

Stamah gives him a pained smile, and glides on by.

Nolan shrugs, then offers to take the basket from Alak. They shake hands. “Alak.”

“Lawkeeper.” Shaking his hand gravely. “Is, um, Irisa here?”

“Yeah, in the kitchen with Becca. But hang here a minute, I want to talk to you.”

“...sir?” Stiffening up a little. 

“Relax, Alak. Normally this would be the part where I would threaten you with bodily harm if you hurt my daughter. But let’s be honest. If you hurt Irisa, she knows more than twelve ways to break your arm, and she doesn’t need me for any of them.”

“That is...an excellent point.” That he’d never considered before. 

“After she breaks your arm, of course, I will reserve the right to arrange a meeting between my fist and your nose. But I think as long as everyone plays fair, we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Yes sir.” Flatly.

“And on that unoriginal note: please move. I’d like to enter my house.” Doc.

“Oh, sorry.” Alak moves to the side. “My mother and I-”

“Let her do the ceremony, kid. Nolan won’t care, and I would prefer it.”

“Right.”

They go to the kitchen. Stamah is sitting on the floor with Becca and Irisa. Upon seeing her, the Castithan woman rises gracefully, repeats her words from earlier. Meh pauses, then to everyone’s surprise completes the other half. Stamah is gratified. 

“I have been speaking with your lovely daughter, Becca.” Giving the girl a wide smile. “I have found her Casti to be flawless, though she is ignorant of many of our customs and ways. When your time of mourning has passed, I would like to spend some time teaching her and Richard the way of their people.”

“You do realize that they are only halfish Castithan?” Meh. “Possibly less?”

“So is Luke. we still intend to see he is fully trained in our ways, that he may choose his own path wisely.”

A pause. “We can discuss it later, then.”

“Thank you, Doctor Yewll. You honor me by entrusting me with this task. If I may ask, how did you choose her name? It is neither Indogene or Castithan or Irathient in nature.”

“I named her.” Nolan.

“You?” Stamah surprised.” Why?”

“It’s a family name.” Nolan shrugged. “And Doc didn’t object. Besides, she looks like a Becca.”

The girl grinned.

“The name does suit her well.” Stamah smiles at the girl again. “I will take no more of your time, but please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything.”

“We’ll keep that in mind.” Meh, quietly

“Good. Alak?”

“I’ll be right there.” To Irisa, quietly. “I’ll see you soon, ok?”

“Ok.” Smiling at him. She catches her father watching, and stares at him challengingly. He just grins. Meh rolls her eyes. Then sniffs. “Is that fruit torte I smell?”

It is. She goes back to her workroom to distract herself for a bit with one. Nolan takes Becca with him to run off some energy outside, and Irisa goes to be with Meh. The Doctor is organizing her notes about the kids. Irisa glances through them and has some questions. Meh tells her some stories. They don’t know what damaged the pods on the ship, but Becca had to wear glasses of a sort before. Her eyes would not focus properly from premature exposure to light. Richard was born with no known defects, save the fact that he had a hard time telling when he was ‘full’ at first. Puking after eating, especially after they introduced him to solids, was a pretty frequent occurrence. Colt’s hands and arms are extremely double-jointed, and he is therefore extremely flexible. Unfortunately, there is also an underlying weakness in them and therefore he has to be careful or he’ll tear the ligaments underneath. Irisa soaks it all in. 

Nolan comes back in. “Meh?”

“What?”

“Amanda just reminded me it's saberwolf mating season. Not exactly the best time to be outside the town with only the two of us and a large fire.” Clearing his throat. “We should either have the pyre in the town limits or bring someone with us.”

“Fine, we can bring someone along.”

“Who-?”

“I don’t care. Someone handy with a gun who can keep their mouth shut.”

“Got it. I’ll take care of it.” He leaves. Outside, he pulls out his hailer. “Datak? It's Nolan. Turns out there's a way you can help...”

-090-

It was easy to distract herself for a time. Write notes. Draw memories for Nolan’s gift. Help Samir when he got in over his head. Eat a fruit torte. Then another. And another. She might regret that third one later, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

But when the light began to fade from the sky, and she sat down to explain to her children why she and Nolan had to leave and why they may not be back until morning, it all came crashing home again.

“Mom?”

Meh opened her stinging eyes and found Colt crawling into her lap. Becca wedged herself next to him, and Richard circled around from behind to hold her tight.

“It’s alright,” she heard herself say as she held them close. “I’m alright. Can you be good for Irisa and Amanda while we’re gone?”

“We will.” Richard. “I’ll help them. Promise.”

“I’ll be good too.” Colt. “Just please stop crying, Mom.” Panicky.

Meh realizes her face is wet. “I believe you.”Wiping the tears away. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve got Uncle Joe watching my back. You guys know how good he is at that.”

“Our ride is out front.” Nolan. “It's time.”

Kisses all around. Big hugs.

“C’mere, Bitsy.” Irisa takes her.

“You too, boys.” Amanda, each taking a hand. “Don’t worry, they’ll be back soon.”

Goodbyes again. 

Downstairs, Datak stands beside the roller with the door open for her. Meh looks at Nolan.

“Good with a gun, yes. Able to keep his mouth shut, not so much.”

“He swears not one word will pass his lips tonight.” Nolan. “His words, not mine.”

Meh looks at Datak, who puts a hand over his heart, then motions to the roller. 

“If you manage it, I might just kiss you.”

Datak shrugs. The ride out is silent. Nolan drives, and Meh is next to him. Datak is in the back with the boy. The pyre is already set up, courtesy of Datak. The town has its own burning fields for when there are dead to be burned. Some are in the town (on the outskirts) and others are on the outside. The ones Meh specified are outside the town. The sun is just sinking below the horizon when they set it alight. Meh and Nolan stand watch, and Datak stands guard. Nothing bothers them, and Meh is able to lean on Nolan and cry in peace. Datak is only a little salty that it's Nolan’s shoulder and not his. 

The ride back is equally silent. Datak holds Meh’s door for her. She steps out, and touches his face.

“Thanks, pal.”

“It was my honor.”

“Ah-! Just cost yourself a kiss.” Trying to snark. It doesn’t have nearly the usual razor edge to it.

“To take one now would not have been right. We grieve with you, my friend. Get some rest.”

Nolan tosses him the roller keys.

“Thanks.” Stiffly. 

“Of course.” He leaves after one last look at Meh.

Nolan puts an arm around Meh, and they walk upstairs. 

There’s a light still on in the kitchen. It's Amanda, nodding off over some papers.

“What’re you still doing up?” Nolan. It is closing in on 2 am.

“Waiting for you.” They kiss. Then she moves past him and hugs Meh who is pointedly not paying attention. The indogene jumps a bit but is too tired to do more than that. “Are you ok, Doc?” Doc let’s out a half-startled half-panicked laugh. “Sorry, dumb question.”

“No, it isn’t.” Taking a slight step back. “I am ok. Just...reeking of smoke. So you and Nolan can go home. Get some sleep. You’ve earned it.”

Amanda looks at Nolan, who rolls his eyes. They’ve discussed this earlier.

“Told you so.” Nolan, slinging an arm around Meh. “Nope, you’re stuck with us for one more night.”

“Why?” Annoyed.

Amanda slips under Nolan’s other arm. “Because if someone doesn't guilt you into lying down, you probably won’t.”

Meh doesn’t respond.

“Busted.” Nolan said as he pushed her to the bathroom. “Go get cleaned up, I’ll go after you.” 

“You aren’t borrowing my clothes.”

“I was smart and packed a bag.”

“Now that’s a first. Was it Amanda’s idea?”

“Very funny.” Meh gives him a pointed look. “Yes, it was. Go change.”

When Meh comes out, Amanda ushers her into sleep. To her surprise, the Mayor lays down next to her, back to back in the dark. When Nolan comes in he scoots Richard over so the boy is practically sleeping in her arms, and lays so he can hug them both. It reminds her of their first week with Richard. It was the only way the boy would sleep, those first few months, sandwiched between them. 

The tears come more slowly now. Pauses between each one that slowly traces the curve of her cheek and soaks silently into the collar of her shirt and the pillow beneath her head. Nolan just puts his hand on her cheek, and waits with her in the dark. Sleep steals up on her like a thief in the night.

-090-

Amanda wakes first to find Meh gone, and rises to track her down. Just after dawn. The doctor is in her workroom, busy.

“Doc?”

Meh looks up. “Why are you awake?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I’m an indogene, we’re designed to operate on four hours of sleep or less most of the time. You aren’t.”

“I got at least four.” Around a yawn. “So, what are you doing?”

“Can you keep a secret?” Ironic. Amanda gives her a look. “It’s a gift for Nolan.”

“Oh, yes. I can keep that kind of secret.” Coming around the table to stand beside her, leaning forward. “What is it?”

“Pictures.” It's earth, from space, and Amanda realizes she can see Nolan at the window looking down.

“You can draw?” Surprised.

“No, that would imply artistic talent, which I do not have.” Shaking her head. “No, what I have is more...practical. It's an implant that will copy memories to paper. Basically I can turn my hand into a printer.”

“Why?”

“It was theoretically useful for research purposes. This is the most use I’ve gotten out of it in decades.”

“Can I watch?”

“I guess. Just don’t expect me to talk while I’m doing it. It temporarily disengages speech abilities. If they ever figured out why, it was after I left.”

“Ok.” Settling in to watch. Meh pulls out a piece of paper, picks up the charcoal stick, and gets to work. Her movements are oddly precise, completely unnatural. The picture still takes shape under her stilted and swift marks. By about halfway through it becomes recognizable. It's Nolan, sitting in some kind of odd chair, with Colt on his lap. Both of their faces are lit up in joy. Meh shifts the paper, and nearly knocks over a tea cup. Amanda reaches out to catch it, then examines it as something about it catches her attention. She’s still bent over Meh’s shoulder when the indogene sits up and discovers a boob on her shoulder.

“Well, hello there.”

“Oh, sorry.” Standing up. “I was looking at this cup. I never would have thought Favi Korr was a liar, but he told me all of his work was one of a kind and I bought this  _ exact _ set for my sister when she got married.”

Meh takes the cup from her and looks at it. “Favi Korr isn’t a liar. It's Kenya’s cup.”

“Why do you have it?” More coolly than intended. 

“She left it here the last time she visited for safe-keeping. Then never came back.”

“Visited?” Exactly as coolly as intended. “I didn’t realize my sister was a frequent ‘visitor’ of yours.”

“I was not one of her clients.” Bluntly. Spinning around in her seat to look up at Amanda who steps back so she doesn’t get kicked accidentally. “Once a month or so, your pretty sister would gather up a few of her girls or boys and come visit with tea and cakes. We’d talk shop for a few hours, and then they’d leave.”

“Talk ‘shop’. With you.” Incredulous.

“The areas in which our professions crossed paths: physiology and anatomy.”

“You talked sex tips with my sister.”

“The implication that I wouldn’t have any tips to give is a little hurtful. But I meant it when I said anatomy and physiology. Votans are a varied species, and humans have their quirks as well. To do their jobs well, they needed detailed information on at least five species. Six, if they were willing to take a sensoth customer. Seven, if they could fit a bioman.”

“And you just... offered your teaching services to a bunch of prostitutes.” Skeptical.

Rolling her eyes, turning to gather up the drawings and tuck them back away. “Look, your sister had a knack for knowing what people needed, right?”

“And what did you need, Doc?” Acidly. 

“Apparently, for a pretty girl to force herself into my life for an hour or two of friendly conversation over tea and cakes once every few weeks.”

“I still can’t see how it started.”

“She came in for a...work related injury.” Meh moves on quickly. “I gave her some free advice about, if you’re going to offer that service, get your own. Otherwise, I’ll be seeing a lot more of you. And as pretty as you are, I don’t think you can afford that. She asked about materials, I gave some suggestions. She said she had more questions, I told her to make another appointment, as my next one was already waiting. This was obviously before we brokered the deal for subsidized medical services. She said she couldn’t afford it, and couldn’t she come by after hours for a consultation? I said a patient would ask for a consultation, and still pay. She asked what would a friend do? I said bring tea and cakes after hours to visit. I was being sarcastic. Three days later, she showed up with tea and cakes and asked if I had time to visit.” Spreading her hands. “The rest is history. If you don’t believe me, ask your employees. Plenty of them have come and learned at the feet of the master.”

“Why do you keep calling her pretty?” Sharply. 

“She took pains to be sure you noticed,” tilting her head to the side. “The least I could do was acknowledge it. And she was, in her own way.”

“Are you sure you weren’t one of her clients?”

“Positive. Jealous much of your pretty sister?” Curious.

“No.” A little too quickly. Changing the subject. “That’s incredible. The picture, I mean.” Motioning to the last one before Doc can slide it away with the rest. 

“Oh.” She’d forgotten about it. “Thanks.”

“How many are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, I won’t say a word.”

“Won’t say a word about what?” Nolan, entering the room yawning.

“If I wanted to tell you, I would.” Meh, flatly. Neatly covering it up.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Kids are up and Irisa is giving them pastries from the food from the Tarrs. Any objections?”

“No, dessert for breakfast is a nice treat.” Grins a bit. “Also, the boys are going to school so the sugar rush and following crash will not be my problem.”

Meh to Amanda. “If you want them back, just let me know. I have all the pieces, somewhere.” Glancing about.

“Uh...no.” Ducking her head. “No, I think she’d want you to have them. To remember her by.”

“If that’s what you think is best.”

Nolan clears his throat awkwardly. “Amanda, can I talk to Meh for a minute...?”

“Sure.” She goes.

“What is it?” In Indojisnen.

“We need to talk about the last pod.”

“Why? It's stable, and I think we all need some time after our...loss.”

“Meh...I don’t know how long I have.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The VC. I was thinking about it last night. I’m still wanted for the murder of Ambassador Silora. Eventually, they’re going to realize I’m not dead and come after me. And when they do, my only choices will be to go with them or run. And that’s it.”

“Have you talked to Amanda about this?”

“No. She seems to think that having saved everyone from the Omec will be enough to save me, but I doubt it. Especially given what you told me about them when we were up in space. I just...don’t see how there can be a future where that doesn’t come back to haunt me.”

“I see.” Thinking.

“I know it's going to be hard, Meh. But, I think it would be best to open the pod immediately, and spend as much time together as a family as we can, just in case.”

“In case you’re hauled away for execution in a few weeks.”

“Yeah.”

“No, I don’t accept that answer.”

“Then give me a better one! You’re the clever one, Doc, pull a rabbit out of your ass and get us out of this mess!”

“...I don’t have one. Not yet.”

“I’d made peace that this was how it would end the first time, Doc. I was ready to go into space and never come back. Or maybe come back so many chupping years later that no one would care what happened decades before. But now I’m here, and I won’t let them hurt you or Amanda or Irisa or any of our kids just to get to me. I’ll go quietly, knowing my family will have each other long after I’m gone.”

“Stop talking like that.” Getting angry.

“Meh...please. Whatever happens when we open that pod, I want to be there for it. And I don’t know how long I’ve got.”

“...fine. Day after tomorrow? I need a little more time to prepare.”

“I’ll talk to Amanda.”

"Thanks."

He goes.

Meh begins to lay her plans.

####

Figure out this day. Discuss grief, and how it sneaks up on you. Kids are being especially sweet. Their first evening with no visitors for a while. Meh told Nolan not to come over. But he's distracted the whole time he’s with Amanda. The next day is much the same until evening. Amanda and Irisa have the kids and Meh and Nolan head down. Irisa has a basket of baby clothes hiding just in case but doesn't want to get anyone's hopes up. The kids are definitely not talking about what's happening down below. The loss was less real to them, but it hurt all the same. 

####

“So, I have a question,” Meh said as she laid out everything she thought they might need. 

“What's that?” Nolan, setting up a few possible IV lines.

“If the VC comes to take you, what happens to Amanda?”

“You’ll swoop in, make her happy, and live a fairy-tale ending together.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I. Meh...I want you to be happy and I want her to be happy. You being happy together would be even better.”

“Yes, but if I manage to pull a rabbit out of my ass, what then?”

“Same thing.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m there too. On her other side.”

“Excuse me?”

“Amanda once said she'd be open to a polygamous arrangement, and let's be honest: I’ve never been picky about sharing.”

“You are actually being serious.” Stopping her work to stare at him.

“Yes.” Hanging up the last line and putting an easy arm around her. “I miss you, Meh. It's not the same, not being together all the time.” Pressing a kiss to her head. “It's not the same as Amanda...but I do love you. I love being with our kids together. And I hate that I have to pretend being away from all of you doesn't bother me.”

“You know...you wouldn't be very pretty, but things might have gone very differently in space if you’d been a woman.” Patting his cheek, which is a lot of affection for Doc so he smiles back at her. “So, what does Amanda think about all this?” As she busies herself, turning away to the next task.

Silence.

“Are you shitting me?” Turning back around when it stretches too long as she sees his guilty look. “You haven’t asked her.”

“I wanted to talk to you first.”

“And what do you think is going to happen now?” Nolan sputters. “You thought I was going to start pursuing Amanda, and everything would just magically fall into place. Idiot.”

“It could work, Meh.”

“I’m not saying it couldn’t. But it's all dependent on a certain individual who hasn’t ever expressed an interest in me.”

“You don’t know that.” Quickly.

“Has she?” Blunty. “Has she even talked about me other than as the town doctor, the kids’ mom or your good friend who half the time she wishes didn’t exist?”

“That’s not fair, Meh.”

“No, what’s not fair is for a second, you got my hopes up.” Tuning away. “I am  _ so _ mad at you right now.”

“We could talk to her, together. You know, clear the air-”

“No, absolutely not. I’m not going to be responsible for ruining your relationship, and trust me it's not to save  _ you _ from heartache. If this ever happens, it has to come from her. Otherwise, I’m not buying it. When did she even mention considering multiple partners?”

“...it was a few years ago. When she was Mayor the first time.” 

“You  _ idiot _ -” The drone beeps that’s it's ready.

“This probably wasn't the best time-”

“No, it's ok. Now I’m too angry to be scared or worried. Which is the only positive part of this entire conversation.”

They get to work.

-090-

Amanda sat across from Richard and wondered what she’d gotten herself into. The boy studied the black and red board, picked up his piece and triple-jumped hers. In one move, half her checkers were gone. 

“Your turn,” he said with a bright smile.

“I can see that,” Amanda replied, looking at the shambles that was her side.

Irisa glanced over from where she was showing Becca how to draw, and commented, “I think you lost.”

Amand was saved from replying (and finishing the game) by the arrival of the baby.

The children popped to their feet as Meh walked in, a tiny bundle cradled in one arm.

“She’s so little!” Colt.

“Risa, look!” Becca. “It’s a baby!!”

“Hello,” Richard, peering at the baby who peers back. “What’s her name, mom?”

“Kai,” Meh replied as she settled herself in one of the chairs.

“She’s beautiful,” Irisa, smiling widely. “We got a few things to help with a new baby. Some clothes and cloth diapers...I hope that’s alright?”

“It is.”

Kai makes a sound. 

“Yeah,” Meh said as though she spoke. “A bath is probably a good idea. And then some food.” She goes to bathe her. The kids follow. Nolan asks Amanda to go with Meh to corral them, and goes and helps Irisa set up the basket the baby is going to sleep in and prep a few bottles. 

Before Amanda gets into the bathroom, Meh has her overcoat and sleeves rolled up, leaving her arms bare. It's a lot more skin than she’s used to seeing, but she’s distracted by keeping the kids out of the bathwater. Especially Becca who wants to climb right in with the baby. She ends up getting so wet, though, that Meh hands Kai off to Amanda to go be dressed and fed while she bathes Bitsy anyways. The boys follow right on her heels. 

Irisa takes the lead with Kai, changing her into clean clothes and giving her the warmed bottle. It's only a few ounces, but on Nolan’s recommendation she has a few others waiting as backup. Amanda is uncertain with the baby, doesn’t have a lot of experience, but is a bit enchanted with her. Nolan keeps back. She finally asks him why. 

“I pissed off Meh. And it is my fault so...I’ll need to keep my distance for a few days.”

“Doc holds a grudge that long?”

“Not usually, no.” Not meeting her eyes. “But...look, everyone has their sore spots. I idiotically gave one of Meh’s a jekking good poke. I should have known better. Shtako for brains. In a few days she’ll probably forgive me and we’ll be fine.”

“Probably?”

“Just...it’s fine. Please help Irisa with the kids, I’m going down to clean up the clinic.”

“...ok.”

Meh comes back and sees Nolan gone, doesn’t comment on it. She lets Irisa put Kai down to sleep once the feeding is done. Then they put down the other kids. Amanda bids them all goodnight, and goes to get Nolan and goes home. Meh not coming to say goodbye is strange, and she doesn’t like it. Especially when Nolan keeps looking over his shoulder as they walk away.

Baby Kai wakes up every two hours to eat. Meh takes her down to the clinic to check a few things around 4 am. Kai’s metabolism is unusually high, but everything else is fine. Including input and output. Meh draws blood to begin a few tests, but some will take days to actually finish. She’s been low on sleep before, and gears up to push through.

Irisa gets the kids ready in the morning, Meh takes Kai with her downstairs to help Samir. The feedings get in the way, but Samir and the patients like helping. Indogenes are immune to pretty much everything, so she’s not worried. She’s still mad at Nolan, though.

Irisa catches her napping when she brings the kids home from school. She offers to come back and do a few of the feedings, but has dinner plans with Alak and Luke. Meh agrees. 

She’s still mad at Nolan.

It's a very quiet group around the dinner table that night. 

-090-

“Y’know, most women wouldn’t be ok with their man ignoring them for another woman.” Amanda, naked in bed with Nolan. 

“Sorry.” Responding more to her kisses, but still not all there.

“Ok, will you  _ please _ tell me what happened between you and Doc?”

“I can’t.”

“...you know, I really am trying to understand. I mean that. But when you just...shut me out, I don’t know how to take that. I understand that there’s things that happened in space. That there’s twelve years of history that can’t just be explained away overnight. But when you can’t even...give me a hint...”

Nolan takes a deep breath, then lets it slowly. “...if I tell you this, you can chupping _ never _ tell Meh. Not unless she tells you herself. Alright?”

“Alright.” Seeing him waiting. “I promise.”

“Meh used to be married. Before she came to Defiance.”

“...I don’t think I ever knew that.” Surprised.

“You didn’t. Meh never talked about her wife for a lot of reasons, first among them being the fact that she took her own life and that’s why Doc left the VC.”

“That’s horrible.” Shocked.

“When I say that it took years for Meh to even bring up her name in space, I mean that. She was willing to discuss what happened during the war and losing her family and even what Kindzi made her do before she was even willing to tell me her name. So she has some...sore spots related to that I should know better than to touch. I thought I was being helpful, turns out I was just being an ass.”

“Did you apologize?”

“Yeah, but not at first. So she’s especially pissed off. And so I’m avoiding her until she’s cooled off.”

“Which means you’re miserable, because that means not seeing the kids.”

“...yeah.”

“At least you know why she’s angry.”

“Oh, once she gets comfortable with you, Meh has no problem articulating her feelings at length, for better or worse.” Smiling a bit. “You always know where you stand with Doc.”

“I guess that means she’s never been really comfortable around me.”

“She wasn’t comfortable with anyone, Amanda. She kept everyone in this city at arm’s length, or more. Even Datak. Even your sister. Hell, if our unplanned space adventure had never been, she might have stayed that way forever.” 

“That sounds lonely.”

“She was lonely. She was also, and still is sometimes, jekking terrified of what losing someone else the way she lost Lev would do to her. She fought so hard letting the kids in....she took care of them right off the bat. But watching Richard break down her walls, paving the way for the rest...” He grows quiet. “I’m actually a little worried about how she’s handling the one we lost. I know....it wasn’t like we even met the kid, but...”

“Doc’s a grown woman, Nolan. I’m sure if she needs help she’ll ask for it.” Studying him for a minute. “You miss them. The kids.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You should talk to Doc.”

“What about ‘I chupped up’ do you not understand?”

“She’s also never stopped you from seeing the kids before. Right?”

Shaking his head in the dark. She can feel it more than see it. “That was different. The kids could go anywhere, and if they wanted to see me or I wanted to see them it was easy to do without...crossing paths.”

“...just go and tell her.”

“...I’ll think about it. Right now, there’s a very wonderful and patient and sexy woman in my bed who needs my attention first.” 

Sex sex sex.

-090-

Meh is down in the clinic, looking over the preliminary findings of her tests while Samir sees patients. Amanda walks in around mid-morning.

“Mayor Rosewater? Something I can help you with?” Samir.

“Just looking for Doc.”

“She’s in the back.”

“I know the way. Thanks.”

Meh is bent over a desk, reading something while balancing a bottle on her chin and Kai in her arms. She makes it look surprisingly natural. Amanda lets the door close. “I’m not seeing patients, you can wait for Mr. Samir like everyone else.”

“I’m not here to see the doctor,” Amanda said as she stood on the other side of the desk. “I’m here to see Meh.”

Doc glances up surprised, but rolls with it, leaning back in her seat and switching Kai so she can hold the bottle with her hand instead. “Lovely to see you too, Amanda. To what do I owe the honor of the visit?”

“I know you’re angry at Nolan, and that he admits that he deserves it. But please forgive him, or at least tell him he can come see the kids. Not being with them because he’s afraid he’ll make things worse is tearing him up. Please.”

“Did he send you?”

“No, and in fact if he asks I would prefer we pretend this conversation didn’t happen. He has his pride.”

“Don’t we all.” Dryly. Giving Amanda a long, searching look. Deciding to go with, “You know, I’ve never asked you...how do you feel about his involvement with the kids?” The unspoken ‘and I’ hung quietly in the air.

“It was an adjustment,” Amanda admitted quietly. “But...I’ve come to enjoy being with the kids. And you. And he loves them, so much, I don’t think any reasonable person could ask him to stay away.”

Doc’s brows rise. “Ouch. Not even going to try and hide that one, are you?”

Amanda smirks, and catches her eye. “So...will you?”

Meh clears her throat and looks away. Friggin’ braid. “...I’ll hail him later. You’re both invited to dinner.”

“Thank you.” Looking down at Kai, then the bottle. “Meh, I’m not an expert on children, but isn’t that more than a newborn should drink at one time?”

“Normally, yes,” the indogene replied calmly. “But Kai has a quirk.”

“Quirk?”

“Here.” Popping free the almost empty bottle and handing her over. Amanda takes her awkwardly, then shifts her in surprise.

“She grew!”

“I would normally insert a joke about ‘yes, children do that’ but you’re right. Since her birth, she’s put on nearly a full pound and half an inch in length. That’s about 5 to 10 weeks ahead of schedule.”

“Is she alright?”

“Other than being constantly hungry and sleeping a great deal, I think so. For now, I’m monitoring her progress closely. There are a few indogene-specific possibilities as to what is going on, but it will take a few days to get answers.” Glancing around. “Most of the time I don’t miss labs with fancy equipment and fat budgets, but today I do.” Pensive, staring at the baby.

“Meh, if we need to get you and Kai somewhere else, just say the word and we will.”

“No, not yet. And the fact is that if it's dangerous and I can’t deal with it here there’s only one place I can go.”

“The VC.”

“Exactly.” Obviously not pleased. “And speaking of the VC, do you still have the original documents Vice Chancellor Voske brought for you to look over?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“And would it be too much to hope that you signed some sort of a ‘pre-agreement’?”

“There was something like that, yes.”

“Do you have it in english  _ and _ castithan?”

“Yes I do, why?”

“I’m trying to pull a rabbit out of my ass.” Absently. See’s Amanda’s face, and quickly explains, “Indojisnen is...complicated. And Nolan frequently messes it up, even to this day. One time, he tried to say ‘pull a rabbit out of a hat’, and old earth expression that means-”

“I know what it means.”

“He instead said ‘pull a rabbit out of my ass’. It stuck. Partially because I didn’t let a single opportunity to remind him of it go by untouched for  _ months _ .” Slight smile. “Anyways, I need to see it. All of it. I have a couple of ideas on how we can keep Nolan from being executed by the VC, but I need to see the actual documents to know for sure.”

“Nolan is a hero, and they aren’t taking him anywhere.” Stubbornly.

“That’s a noble sentiment and adorably confident, but be realistic. If the VC decides to move against us with their full force and not just a splinter cell rogue army, we’re toast.”

“We defeated a Volge army.”

“Volge don’t use tactics, and we had an ark shere that we certainly don’t have now. You do remember that Rham Tak killed nearly 30 of our people, and that was before the actual fighting began? We only won because the idiot grew careless. And we were willing to blow up our stasis net in desperation. If the VC as a whole comes, they won’t make the same mistake.”

“What are you hoping to find?”

“I’m not sure yet. I’m about a decade or more out of the loop on VC politics and policies. But I remember how much they loved their technicalities, and that’s what I’m hoping to find. A technicality we can use to our advantage.”

“I thought you were mad at Nolan.”

“I am mad at Nolan.” Scowling. “He’s an idiot. That doesn’t mean I want him to die. I’m just avoiding him because I’m trying to teach my children that hitting people rarely solves anything.”

“Sometimes, though it feels really good.” A touch teasing. 

Thoughtful. “Yes, but Nolan has a jaw like a rock and I don’t want to break my hand again.” Flexing her right hand unknowingly.

“...again?” Amanda, shocked. 

Meh, realizing what she said and then waving said hand as though to clear the air. “That was in the early days. We fought a lot more, as neither of us is exactly easy to get along with. But we managed.”

“And became best friends.” Wryly.

“It was that or kill each other, and we both had reasons to get back here. To get back home.” Getting up to get something from a shelf.

“Why did you punch him?” Curiously.

“Because he said something extremely unkind. And then ended up being right. Figures, right?” Snort of laughter, looking through whatever she’s holding.

Amanda rolls her eyes a bit. “You aren’t going to tell me what he said.”

“No.” Sighing, pausing in what she’s doing. “...it never happened.”

“But you just said...”

“We’re rewriting time. That fight? Those words? My bones snapping under his slab of a jaw? I can remember all of it like it was yesterday, but it never happened and now it's never going to. So even though I’m very annoyed that he’s right...I’m not going to say the words. We don’t want or need to hurt each other like that anymore. Not on purpose.” Looking into the distance, clearly remembering another time.

“But somehow...on accident is even worse, isn’t it?” Gently.

“Yeah, it is.” Nodding slightly. 

Sensing the need to change the subject. “Should I bring you the papers, or...?”

“No, the kids are too curious for their own good, and I don’t want Nolan thinking about it until I know for sure.”

“Why deny him the hope?”

“Because he hopes a little too hard, and I don’t want to be the reason he’s hurt. Whatever else I may be feeling towards him at the moment.” Pausing, her back to Amanda. “He doesn’t blame you, he just...looks disappointed for  _ weeks _ .” Glancing back. “It’s very annoying. Besides, the kids won’t forgive me if they know and I fail so...”

Amanda wonders why she couldn’t see it before. The wall Meh builds around herself, and how her face and posture changes when she lets it drop, even just a little bit. Amanda gets up and comes around the desk to hug her one-armed, Kai carefully cradled between them. “Thank you. I’ll have a space set aside for you at the office, and when you have time just let me know.”

“Uh....I will.” Carefully hugging her back. The baby between them sings a high, soft sound. Meh pulls back and comments in Indojisnen. The baby snuggles more deeply in Amanda’s arms. Meh says something else, and the baby makes the sound again. Meh. “Well, unless you want to keep her awhile, you’d better give her back. She’s about to fall asleep, and once she does that its best not to move her for an hour or two.”

“Well, as much as I would love to take a day off, Miss Kai, I’m going to have to pass this time. I have some meetings to attend, and I don’t think you’d enjoy them in the least.” Handing her back to Meh. Kai makes the sound again, rubbing her face against the soft fabric of her blanket. “What is that?”

“A...happy sound.” Carefully settling her down in her basket. Says something Indojisnen.

“I better hurry, or I’ll be late for my first appointment.” A little regretful.

“We’ll see you tonight for dinner.”

Amanda hesitates in the doorway, then asks, “If I bring tea and cakes, would I be welcome for a chat?”

“So long as you know we are not discussing sex and Nolan in the same conversation: yes.” Which makes a great deal more sense now that Amanda knows she was married to a woman. 

“Alright.” Smiling. Meh is telling herself not to smile back like a doof. “See you tonight?”

“Yeah.”

Samir sticks his head in just after the Mayor leaves, grinning. “Mayor Rosewater is really nice, huh? I guess you had a good visit?”

“Why would you say that?”

“You’re smiling. It doesn’t happen all that often, so...”

“Was there something you needed?” Waspishly.

“Yes. A Mrs. Kenilworth who said a man touching her is against her religion wants you. What do you want me to do?”

“She’s lying, but I’ll come.” Picking up a monitor for Kai who is almost out. “She probably won’t trust you enough to help her for a while. Maybe a year or two.”

“Wow.”

“Some people have trust issues.”

“I meant at the assumption I would still be here in a year or two.”

“I would hope so if I’m investing this much time into teaching you.”

“Me too.” A big smile.

-090-

Nolan has been kinda bummed all day. Alak hasn’t pushed him for details, but he has noticed. Then he gets a hailer call, he’s noticeably more upbeat afterwards.

“Good news?”

“You ever been in the doghouse with a woman and you have no idea how the chup you’re gonna get out, but they decide to take pity on your sorry ass and let you back in anyways?”

“Ah, yes. What’d you do to upset the Mayor?”

“Oh, not her. Doc.” Shaking his head. “Women.”

Alak decides not to ask. “...right.”

-090-

Nolan is a bit sheepish when they show up that night. Meh hands him the baby and says to feed her so she can finish dinner. He grabs her with his free arm and tows her back for a hug, saying something in Indojisnen. She retorts in the same language, and slips free, but her frown is not as strong as before. She goes back to the stove. 

“Mom, you aren’t wearing your present.” Richard, bringing her something folded up. It's an apron, japanese style in a dark grey. Doc puts it on and goes back to cooking, rolling her eyes but smiling. Amanda spots something, and asks Nolan quietly, “Does that say what I think it says?”

Nolan gives it a long look, then smiles widely. “Yes it does!”

“Says what?” Richard, quietly.

“Why do I hear whispering?” Meh, not turning around.

“We’re betting on how delicious dinner is going to be.” Nolan.

“I don’t believe you.” It's an old exchange.

“Meh?”

“Hm?”

“If someone asks for, say....a prize, and they do a good job, do you think they should get it?”

“...that seems logical.” Glancing over a shoulder. “Are we talking about the kids?” Because she’s not being trapped by this line of questioning again. 

“No.”

“...then probably, yes.” Shrugging, more focused on the pan. Fried noodles with vegetables and meat. “As long as what they’re asking for is...not wildly out of proportion to what they did or...you know...”

Nolan smiles widely. 

Dinner is, of course, delicious. Describe later. Nolan holds Kai the whole time, hands her over to Amanda at the end. She’s getting more comfortable handling the infant each time. The fact that Kai is extremely easy-going and grins like mad at whoever is holding her helps.

“Well, Meh, you did a good job. It's time to earn your prize.” Nolan, coming to her side.

“What prize?” Suspicious.

Kiss attack! Figure out. The kids actually topple her over, and Meh yells something. Amanda can’t see as they’re now below the level of the table on the other side. 

“Not the spots! Not the spots!”

“Gonna get you mama!”

Nolan is laughing, and so are the boys. Someone kicks the table, and they all freeze when Amanda yelps.

“Get off! Off!” Meh, scrambling to sit up. “Are you alright?”

Amanda is covered in juice. “Fine,” she said, wiping some off her sleeve. “Just...very wet.”

Meh glares at Nolan who is once again sheepish, but can’t stop laughing ‘my spots, my spots’.

“So what did I do to deserve that?” Meh, fetching Amanda a towel and taking Kai.

“It’s on your apron.”

“What is?”

“Kiss the cook if the food is good.”

“Where??” Nolan shows her, still laughing. She’s sputtering. 

Amanda interrupts, “Nolan, we have to go. I’m completely soaked...”

“Aww!” Becca, upset. 

“Mom has clothes,” Colt, quickly.

“Yeah,” Richard, “And you’re about the same size, so...”

Amanda doesn’t immediately respond. She has a feeling Meh is very private about her clothes.

Nolan to the rescue! “Meh, Amanda can borrow something, right? So we can stay longer and visit the kids?”

“Sure.” It's a little hard to resist one of her dreams, seeing a Rosewater wearing her clothes. The context is very different, but...it’ll do. Handing the baby to the still smiling Nolan, and sending Richard to clean up the rest of the juice spill, she heads to her chest of drawers with Amanda. She pulls out what are essentially a pair of leggings and a tunic. “Is this ok, or...?”

“This is fine.” Heading for the bathroom. The cloth is super-soft like before, also like Kai’s baby blanket. She wonders now more than ever why. It's a bit weird, looking in the mirror, but she kinda likes it too. 

Meh is at the kitchen counter cleaning up when she comes out, Nolan at the table with the kids. Amanda goes to help her by collecting dishes, missing Nolan following her with his eyes. Meh glances at her, yanks her eyes back to the dish filled sink. If indogenes could blush, she’d be bright red, because it is so much better than she ever imagined. 

“I’m surprised you’re still wearing that.” The apron.

“I started to take it off and Richard looked entirely betrayed.” Dourly. “His puppy dog eyes should be considered a concealed weapon.”

Amanda laughs. “Who knew? Thanks for the clothes. They fit surprisingly well and they’re really soft.”

“I’m glad you like them.” Sidelong look. “They look good on you, legs.”

“You haven’t called me that in awhile.”

“Didn’t really want the kids to start. I’d never hear the end of it from Nolan.”

“Ah.” It's not quite flirting, and Amanda puts it from her mind. Because of course why would Doc ever be interested in her?

They finish the dishes, and go sit with the kids. Nolan and Meh talk quietly in Indojisnen, though she suspects not openly the way they shoot glances at the kids from time to time to see if they’re listening. Amanda plays the game with the kids. At the end, all is settled and Nolan adds, “She looks good in your clothes.”

“Don’t start, I just finished forgiving you for the last time.”

“It was just an observation.”

“Amanda will not always be able to save you.”

“Look me in the face and tell me you would turn down any reasonable request she made.”

Meh doesn’t even try. “...shut it.”

“Alright, alright.”

They join the game. 

When it's time for bed, Meh sends the older three in first, then walks Nolan and Amanda to the door. Nolan gives her a big hug, and a loud kiss on the cheeks. She tolerates it. 

“For dinner.”

To their surprise, Amanda does the same just less enthusiastically. “For dinner, and the clothes.”

“...you’re welcome.”

“Better get used to it if you’re going to wear that apron.” Nolan.

“How upset do you think Richard would be if this got ‘lost’?”

“Very.”

“Hm. Before I forget.” Hands him a paper-wrapped package. “Open it later. I’m going to sleep.”

“...ok.” Curiously. 

“Bye.” She closes the door. 

Nolan snorts. “Some things never change...”

Explains to Amanda on the way home that Doc never gives gifts she has to watch people open. She hides it, or gives it to you and leaves, and that way you can enjoy it before she has to be thanked. She hates the fuss, it's too personal.

Amanda laughs, and asks what makes him think it's a gift. Maybe its work. Or a restraining order.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“Too soon?”

“A little.”

They get back to her place, and Nolan can’t stop watching her as she goes about cleaning her juice-drenched clothes and taking care of a few other small things.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, I don’t buy that. Try again.”

“...I like the way the clothes look on you.”

“Meh’s clothes.” Flatly. “...do I need to read anything into this?”

“No.” Too quickly. “They just...suit you.”

“Right.” Grabbing something. “I’m going to go change.”

“Wait. Come here, alright? Let me...try to explain.” She does so, arms crossed, sitting next to him on the bed. “It’s not what I made it sound like because I’m an idiot, alright? Tonight, being with the kids and Meh was great. But the longer we do this, living two separate lives, the more it bothers me. Not being there when they wake up in the morning. Missing dinners together, missing hearing about school or hanging out with Irisa. Maybe it's just because we were together for so long, and I might get used to it eventually, but part of me doesn’t want to. And when I see you wearing Meh’s clothes, it makes me think maybe someday it won’t be ‘us’ and ‘them’ but just...ours.”

“Our what, exactly?” Dangerously quiet.

“Everything. One life, one family, one home. Together.”

“You want to move in with Meh and the kids?” Incredulous.

“No, there’s no room for us above the clinic.”

“But. I can hear the but.”

“We could get a house together. Separate bedrooms, a workshop for Meh, a big enough kitchen and living area...a place where we can be together.” Clasping his hands, his shoulders growing taut. “I’m starting to forget more things, alright? I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to worry you, and according to Meh it's natural. Your mind can’t hold two timelines for long, and the further I get down this one the less I’ll have of the other. I don’t want to forget what I was to those kids, Amanda. I don’t want to lose that bond, and I’m chupping terrified that if I don’t make sure it happens now it’ll slip through my fingers like water. It would be like losing Irisa, but seeing her every day and having her just be there, out of reach.”

“I think you should open Doc’s gift.” Just as quietly. 

“...ok.” Not sure how to take it, but he does. It's a hand-bound book of drawings.

“Meh.” Sliding his hand over the leather cover, and then slowly flipping the pages. Its star scapes and Nolan piloting the ship and the kids. The only picture of Meh is clearly a reflection, the five of them walking along a corridor, surrounded by hundreds of sleeping omec. She is carrying Becca, with Richard walking in front of her and Colt atop Nolan’s shoulders in the lead. 

A very few have neatly written notes at the bottom. 

_ The day Richard spoke your name for the first time. _

_ A star cluster you said reminded of you Amanda.  _

_ Colt’s first birthday, also the first time you let him drive the ship. No, I did not approve.  _

_ Irisa’s birthday. You tried to make pancakes for the kids. We ate omelets instead. _

_ The first time you saw Earth from space. _

Nolan gets to the last page, and finds a small package tucked inside with a note in Indojisnen. 

_ You owe Amanda, and you’d better thank her properly. Please give her this from me as a thank you as it's the next best thing I could think of. _

Nolan handed it to its intended audience. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“How should I know?”

She pops the tucked paper corners out and slides three sheets of heavy paper free. They’re pictures of Kenya. One with Amanda, drinking at the NeedWant, one of her in the streets of Defiance, but the last one takes her breath away. It's Kenya framed by a familiar window in Doc’s workroom, holding a cup of tea with a smile on her face.

“Oh, Doc...” Amanda can’t stop staring. “I didn’t think...”

“She said they’re a thank you.”

“What for?”

“She didn’t say. She did imply that if I didn’t properly appreciate you, I’ll be in more trouble later.”

“She said that?”

“More or less.” Gentle kiss. “What we were talking about earlier...I know it's going to take time,  _ if _ it happens. And that we might decide to try, and have it fall apart in our faces. I get that. But...I just want you to think about it. To be open to the possibility that...it might work out. And be something amazing.”

“Alright, I can do that.”

She sets the pictures aside.

Sex, sex, sex.

-090-

Amanda is working the next day when Meh calls to say she’s coming over to look at the papers. She doesn’t greet her personally. But does have her assistant show her to the room, and have tea and such for her. The assistant mentions that she seemed tired, and Amanda spends a few minutes weighing the pros and cons of living with Meh and the kids. Doesn’t do so seriously. Meh leaves before she does, and Amanda is the one Datak is brought to when he arrives. He has more information for Meh to look at, on data chips and some files. Amanda takes it to put with the rest, stiffly thanks him for his help. It is his honor to serve, blah blah blah. Nolan has to work late, and she has dinner alone at the NeedWant. It is a little...lacking. Even if she can have a drink with it

-090-

Irisa picks the kids up from school, Meh is in surgery because of an accident. She ends up working late. She comes in and tells Irisa she can go, apologizing. Kai wakes up hungry, and Irisa offers to stay. But Meh sends her on, knowing she was supposed to see Alak and Luke. It's a rough night with Kai, possibly growing pains. After Meh gets the boys and Becca ready for school, she heads down with Kai to run more tests and document her results. She’s fairly certain she knows what’s wrong, still waiting for final confirmation. Until then she needs a distraction. 

Since Samir has things in hand, she heads back to town hall. She runs into Datak along the way, and he immediately notices how tired she is. Asks if she needs help, and she waves him off while yawning. She has work to do. 

-090-

Datak is furious, and immediately goes to find Nolan to rip him a new one. He happens to be with Amanda, having an early lunch. Datak announces his intention to offer Meh a place in his home for her and her kids, with his resources at her disposal. Nolan is not happy, but is surprised at how upset Amanda is at the idea as well. Datak stalks off, and Amanda immediately mentions a certain building near the clinic that’s on sale. Nolan has his plans for the afternoon.

-090-

Meh wakes to find herself covered in a blanket that smells like Amanda and Kai gone. She sits up to see the Mayor by the window, humming quietly as she rocks Kai on her shoulder. Figure out how big the infant is now. She’s got her usual braid over the opposite shoulder, and is wearing Meh’s shirt. It's pretty much perfect. Quickly looks away when Amanda turns around. 

“How are you feeling?” Quietly.

“Better. How long was I asleep?”

“I found you about two hours ago. Kai’s been hanging out with me, so you could sleep. She’s charmed half my staff with her sleepy smiles, and ate all of the bottle you had in the bag about an hour ago.”

“Only half?” Shuffling some papers around.

“Well, she fussed for a bit after the bottle, until I put this shirt on. I promise I washed it, but it must still smell a bit like you because she calmed right down as soon as I put it on.”

“It’s not the smell, it's the texture.”

“Really?”

“Maybe you should keep it, just in case.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I have others.” And she’s 100% ok with seeing Amanda in her clothes.

“Thanks.” Kai makes her happy sound, and Amanda gently strokes her head. 

Meh looks away quickly. “Looks like she’s charming you too.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Smiling down at the baby, then turning to Meh. “Did you find something?”

“Maybe. Or at least half an answer.” Motioning for Amanda to sit down. Amanda chooses the spot next to her, instead of across the table. She's surprised. “Uh...so, the reason I asked to see both copies is castithan is a tricky language. Several of the words and phrases mean multiple things, and context is extremely important.”

“I'm familiar with the practice. Nicky taught me, or tried to, so I've always tried to keep someone on staff able to do so since I know it's not one of my strengths.”

“Good, that will make this easier.” Picking up a sheet. “This is the original treaty in English detailing the requirements for the treaty to be fulfilled: peace with the Omec.”

“Yes.”

“The Castithan is more forgiving in terms. Peace is mentioned, but the way it is done implies that any way in which the Omec are dealt with  _ without _ VC interference or support -so they can't be blamed if it goes south- fulfills the terms. Which means...we did it. Of course, they won’t admit it...unless you present it to them that way.”

“Why the cloak and dagger?”

“Probably a couple of reasons. They want to see if you or your advisors caught it and compared them. To see if you’re willing to stand up for yourself, either way, or if they can just bulldoze over you. I don’t like the way they work, but they do play by their own rules. Usually. We fulfilled our end of the treaty, which means they are obligated to sign it. 

“That helps us how?”

“The only way I can see Nolan remaining free is to allow the VC to take him to trial for the murder of the ambassador.”

“If they take him to trial they’ll kill him.”

“If they try him in VC territory, yes. But if they sign the treaty exactly like it is, that grants Defiance the same rights as a VC outpost or colony, which means you possibly can demand a ‘home trial’.”

“And what does that mean?”

“That they have to hold the trial here, publically. Nolan is popular, and associated with you. He would get the most fair hearing possible on these terms. It also means you can put me on as an expert witness. I have proof Nolan’s brain was infected by arktech. Irisa should be allowed to testify as family, that his behavior leading up to the event was altered.”

“Could I testify?”

“Not unless you married him.” Bluntly. “And Irisa’s inclusion could be problematic as well. She’s been accepted as his daughter in this city, but he’s never filed any official paperwork and the ‘war orphans’ law generally only applies in VC territory. It's not a perfect plan, and there’s a lot of things that could go wrong. But running away can always happen after if we fail.”

“You look like there’s more.”

“There is. Have you read through this?” The list of agreements and requests.

“Oh yes.” Smirking. “They only want their share and more. We’ll have to renegotiate-”

“You can’t.” 

“Why not?”

“If they realize we’re angling for a home trial, they’ll take our status as a sort of ‘colony’ out of the revised treaty. You have to tell them you want it exactly as it is, signed and sealed immediately. That’s in the contract, and they can’t refuse without severely hurting their options at the negotiating table later on.” Shrugging. “They’re crafty bastards, but they have a sort of honor.”

“The guaranteed price they want for gulanite is practically theft.”

“We can probably find grounds to renegotiate in a year or so, or ask for additional concessions due to the price. Medical supplies, for example. Or regular shipments of coffee.” Pointed look.

“...that might be worth it.”

“The treaty also doesn’t guarantee an amount during any span of time.”

“Which means if we have purchasers at higher prices, we can fulfill their orders first and simply give the VC whatever is leftover.”

“Exactly.”

“...that might be alright.”

“Chances are, they won’t have someone with them of high enough rank to renegotiate. They will have someone capable of arresting Nolan and dragging him off in chains to die. 

“Will they have someone who can sign it?”

“Yes. They wrote it, they know the terms and they probably already know everything that’s happened with the Omec.” Sighing. “They’re probably hoping that we haven’t figured out the contract and offer you a new one...with far worse terms, but ‘generous’ given the murder of their ambassador.” Standing and stretching. Her overcoat is off for once, and Amanda sitting back is given a perfect view of her figure. She’s actually very...slim. Willowy? Realizes Meh is waiting for a response.

“Now, they won’t. Thanks to you.” Quietly.

Meh pauses, glances back at her. “You would have found it. Or someone else would have. And if Nolan and I weren’t here, they wouldn’t have him to hold over your head.”

Doesn’t mention that things would still have ended badly.

“Maybe.” Standing too, bringing Kai to her. “But I’m still glad you’re here. Both of you. What do we need to do?”

“How is the stasis net rebuilding going? We can’t effectively block them from just rolling into town without it. A tent set up for the signing would be a nice touch.”

“A table and chairs, refreshments...so it's clear we were expecting them. What about the formal request for the home trail? That sounds...complicated.”

“Datak is acquiring the necessary forms, along with some recent cases involving humans for me to look over.”

“I won’t insult you by asking if we can trust him. But if you weren’t involved, he wouldn’t be either.”

“To be fair, if I weren’t involved...he likely wouldn’t even if you asked.” Considering. “Then again, he’s not in particularly good odor with the VC, so...who knows. Stranger things have happened. The only thing left now is to tell Nolan.” Grimace.

“You don’t think he’ll be happy.”

“Specifically...not that we left him out of the loop.”

“Well.” Sheepish. “In this case...we did something without telling you too.”

“...okay.”

“Nolan went to look at a building that’s for sale this afternoon. To turn it into a house.”

“Uh...congratulations.”

“Not for us, Meh. For you and the kids...with room for us when you need help.”

“...he did what?”

-090-

Amanda hails Nolan. They go look at the building. Datak finds them as they look, asks what's going on. Nolan tells him, then gets distracted. Datak asks to speak to Meh privately. He makes his offer, she promises to think about it. She shares her news, and he looks thoughtful. Promises to get the forms as quickly as possible.

Nolan and Amanda come out, and they head back to Meh;s place. She can’t help but agree that with two extra sets of hands, things would go much more smoothly. After dinner, she ends up dozing off on Nolan’s shoulder during games and such. He motions Amanda to come over, silently, and she does so. He carefully traces one grey spot on her head. She warbles a soft tone, like the one Kai makes, Kai gives one back. He does it a few more times. Amanda thinks it's adorable. Meh wakes up from Colt yelling, and immediately rubs her head.

“Did you...?”

“Hm?” Innocent look.

They put the kids to sleep, then sit down to discuss a few things. Pros and cons of the building. The third time Meh yawns, Nolan asks, “Rough nights with the kids?”

“Just Kai. She needs to eat every few hours, and while I can exist on less sleep than you getting it in less than two hour increments is still hard.”

“I’ll stay tonight so you can get a solid 5,” Nolan said. Then to Amanda, “If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course. in fact, I can stay too. If we break it into thirds, we should all get a decent amount of sleep.”

“You guys don’t have to-”

“Yeah, we do. And I’m sorry it took Tarr being an ass to make me remember that.”

“...he told you about his offer.”

“If you want to move in with him, it would make your life a whole lot easier. He’s got servants and rooms he’ll put at your disposal.”

“You’d hate it.”

“We would hardly be welcome there. Or comfortable visiting. But they’re your kids. That's what I agreed to. If that’s what’s best...I’ll try to understand.”

“And the other option is renovating an abandoned shop into a home.”

“We could do a bedroom on either end so everyone can have their privacy when they want it. Hell, we have room for you to have a workshop too. An escape from the kids.”

More talk talk talk. Meh agrees to think about it. Amanda takes Kai and sends them off to bed. Once lying down, Nolan pulls Meh in for a hug. They talk quietly in indojisnen, about the house and all. He promises it's what they want to do. Also...Amanda still looks pretty good in her shirt, eh?

Meh pushes him away and goes to sleep. She’s still smiling, though. 

-090-

When Nolan comes to wake Meh up for her shift, she and Amanda are sleeping back to back. YAASSS!

Meh has Kai with her in her workroom in the morning. Amanda wakes up first(early riser) and brings her tea. 

“Please tell me you aren't going to move in with Datak. It would break Nolan’s heart.” Sitting across from her and pouring for them both. It’s still Kenya’s set.

“No, and not just because Nolan wouldn’t take it well. Datak is my pal, but I don’t think we’d make good roommates.” Accepting the offered cup with a nod. 

“Good. And the new house...?”

“Probably, yes. I just don’t like leaving this.” Waving a hand around. “Silly.”

“This has been your home since you arrived, right?”

“Well, once the clinic was built, yes. It was just me, though, and I take up hardly any room at all. I suppose it was foolish of me to think we would be able to make it work in such a cramped space.” Looking around with a sigh. 

“We all do foolish things for the people we love.”

“Yes, we do.” Mostly to herself.

Amanda is on the verge of asking her about the dead spouse, but-

“Mom?” It's Colt.

“Yeah, buddy?” turning towards him.

“Becca didn’t make it to the bathroom...”

And so the morning begins.

-090-

Nolan takes over the abandoned building and begins his work. It turns out it technically belongs to Datak, and he gifts it to them for Meh. He’s not thrilled, but her having a house is better than being in her cramped rooms right now. Meh keeps Kai with her so Irisa can help. Samir is promised the apartment upstairs when they move. He’s thrilled at the idea. Estimated to take a good four or five weeks minimum to fix it up. 

-090-

Amanda brings tea and cakes to visit Meh one afternoon. They discuss Kenya. Amanda comes away thoroughly convinced Meh was in love with her, even if she didn't realize it. Meh hopes it wasn't ridiculously obvious she was crushing on Amanda. Oh joy! 

-090-

It's been about a week, and work goes well. Check to see how big Kai is by now. Now sleeping 4 hours at a time, and extremely active when awake. Meh has two late nights at the clinic for emergencies. Irisa takes one and Nolan and Amanda the other. Things are slowly fitting together. 

-090-

Meh gives Nolan the heads up about the chocolate. It's that time again! Nolan wins more brownie points, and Amanda admits to Irisa that he's never been this attentive. Irisa wonders, and asks her dad. He admits that he has some help. Irisa gives him crap for basically grifting off Meh and Meh not getting anything in return. He brings Meh a berry torte as an apology.

-090-

Sound-proofing materials are located for the adult room and Meh’s work room. Nolan is pretty pleased with his work so far. It feels good to work with his hands again. Describe the layout of the shop. The bottom was mostly open, they’re leaving it that way with a living room area and the kitchen/dining room all blended together. They are partially divided due to a wall that they decided not to rip out. Figure out actual dimensions. There is a partial bathroom downstairs (Meh made the excellent point that potty training is hard and multiple kids will need to pee at one time. Best to have more than one. After a moment’s thought, Nolan agreed.) The upstairs can only be reached from inside (they do have a stairway and door on the back of the building, Nolan installs three locks on it to be safe. Meh designs a safety mechanism so it can be opened in a hurry if there is an emergency). The design is one hallway, rooms on either side. First room is Meh’s workshop, small but functional. The kids' (and Meh’s) bed room is exactly like before, and is directly across from the workshop. The room next to the kids room is storage and weapons. By the Workshop is the family bathroom, and attached to the bathroom is the Adult bedroom. Technically for Amanda and Nolan, but Doc may also use it on occasion when they aren’t there. Kingsize, because it's for the mattress Meh got originally for the clinic. The new one the kids are going to share is even bigger. Meh is buying a lot of this on ‘medical credit’ with others, something she’s done before. Nolan doesn’t realize this. 

-090-

Meh’s words rattle around in Amanda’s head, and she brings up marriage to Nolan. He’s somewhat for it, not because he doesn’t want to marry her but because he’s fairly certain once that boundary is established his dream is toast. However, he can also see how she may need that comfort and validation after everything else that’s happened. So he promises to think about it. 

-090-

Amanda comes to the clinic for something town related, and finds Samir out front with the baby and no Doc in sight. A family of liberata are just leaving. 

"Everything alright, Samir?"

"Hm? Oh! Yes." Wide smile. "Doc needed to get something, and someone woke up from her nap so I got her up so she wouldn't be lonely. Not Miss Kai! We wouldn't want that!" 

Amanda hides a smile at the faces he’s making at the infant and the way she smiles back and blows spit bubbles at him. "Do you know where Doc went?"

"Back storeroom, I think. Though she has been gone a really long time-"

"I'll go look. Miss Kai looks pretty happy where she is."

"She is a happy girl. Aren't you? Yes, yes you are-"

Amanda stifles a laugh as the door muffles the rest. Heads back. "Doc?"

No response.

"Doc?" Glancing around at the ancient shelves. "You know we should really replace-"

Doc is unmoving in the corner, back to Amanda and one hand covering her mouth. "...Doc?"

"Yes?” Strained.

“...are you...”

“Fine. I’m fine.” Still turned away, wiping at her face. “Nothing happened.”

“Please, I know you can lie better than that.”

“Ouch. Also not lying. Nothing happened.” Turning around, arms tightly crossed over her chest. Face blank. It's almost a physical blow to realize it's the way Doc used to look. Before the Omec. “Did you want something?”

_ She never trusted anyone... _

_...she was lonely. _

“...I’m calling Nolan.” Pulling out her hailer.

“Don’t!” Grabbing for it.

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t need to worry about nothing. He has enough on his plate right now as it is.” Grumbling. She wanted to hire people to do the work that he’s insisted on doing himself. It's still a sore point. 

“You’re not ok.”

“Prove it.”

“...I’m not going to argue with you. Either talk to me or I’m calling him.”

“There’s nothing to tell!”

“Fine.” Pulling out her hailer again.

“Geez!” Grabbing it from her. “You...friggin’...nothing happened. The Grezier family came in. Carlon had an inverted...doesn’t matter. Marla, his wife, brought the kids along so I could check the older one’s ears. Everything was fine. The little one waved as they left. And then I suddenly had to cry. Now I’m done. That’s all.”

“You had to....” Liberata. “How old is their youngest again?”

“Three, maybe four.”

“A little boy, right?”

“Yeah.” Shrugs. “A perfectly healthy, normal kid.”

“...yeah, he is.” She knows. Doc can see that she knows, but doesn’t respond. Amanda holds out her hand. “Can I have my hailer back?”

“Are you going to call Nolan?” Suspicious. 

“Not if you and Kai come and have lunch with me.”

“...wait what?”

They eat upstairs. Amanda gets a street cart meal for them to share, Meh feeds Kai. She’s starting solid foods. Look up normal 7-8 mos old behavior. 

“So, you want to talk about it?” Amanda, watching her feed Kai.

“I was under the impression you had something you wanted to talk about, seeing as you invited me.”

“Ok.” Thinking. “I can remember after I finally got confirmation that Kenya was...gone, I saw her...everywhere it felt like.”

“I’m sure the drug you were coming off of with mild hallucinogenic properties had nothing to do with that.” Amanda gives her a long stare. Meh stares back. 

“...that’s not what I meant.” Quietly. 

“...I know.” Stiffly. Looking away.

“And just like that we’re back to Doc before the Omec came.” Sitting back in her seat. “Maybe I should have gotten Nolan.”

“...don’t try to make me feel guilty.” 

“Why not? I think it works. Which is better than letting you purposefully start a fight so you don’t have to think about your feelings.” Pointed. Long pause. “I may not have been shot with you into space for twelve years, Doc, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t know you as well as almost anyone else before.”

“Well, if you’re going to guilt me like before then I’m going to respond the same. What do you want to leave me alone?”

“You’re not ok.”

“That’s a statement, not a request.”

Visibly ignoring the snark. “You have to talk to someone. Now either you give me a name and I’ll call them or you talk to me.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I will call Nolan AND Datak. Then you can endure both being questioned and them fighting over you.”

Mouth hanging open, working silently for a moment before landing on, “That is fighting dirty.” 

“That is the only way anyone gets anywhere with you. Unless they’re Nolan, apparently.”

“Nolan plus six years of space travel.” Shrugging. “Minimum.”

“Stop stalling, or I’ll start dialing.” Pulling out her hailer and carefully keeping it out of Meh’s reach. 

“What do you want me to say?” A little softer, less sharply than before. “I’m not a frigging robot. A kid died.  _ My _ kid died. They are gone, forever! And...I have absolutely no idea how to handle that!” Tears starting to fall. “Frigging-” Starting to get up.

Catching Doc’s sleeve. “No one knows!”

“What?”

“How to handle it. No one knows. I just know you’re not supposed to do it alone.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Yeah, I am.” Not breaking eye contact. Doc looks away first. “Kenya was gone, you were arrested, Nolan disappeared, Niki dead....so I did it alone. All of it. Everything. And...I made some really, really stupid choices.”

“..." Meh almost reflexively covers her mouth.

"What?"

"I'm repressing my snark. It's a defense mechanism, give me a minute." Mumbled from between her fingers. 

"You're basically a verbal porcupine."

"That's very human of you. And surprisingly accurate." Grumbled. "Nicknames...."

"Don't try and pretend indogene don't use nicknames, I can remember more than one example-"

"I don't compare people to animals. Not favorably. Humans do."

"Right. And before you derail this conversation completely...you need people. Friends."

"I have friends."

"Then you also need to tell them the truth, about what's going on. It will help."

"I know that."

"Then why-"

"Here." Tapping her forehead. "I know it here. In memories that are now never going to happen. When we both finally stopped screaming and started listening. When we could sit and just....talk without one of us stomping away to sulk for hours. This body, though? She doesn't have that reassurance that words do squat."

"...do you trust me?"

"What does that have to do with-"

"Do you?"

"...yes."

"They help." Squeezing her hand. "If you can't trust your memories then trust me. Tell me and it will help."

The dam bursts!

Figure this out. Meh isn't sobbing on her shoulder, but it is a moment of genuine contact between them. 

-090-

Something about one of the families the omec ate finally confronting Doc and Nolan finding out about it all. He's not happy with her and there is some shouting. Amanda is a little unsettled by how much their being at odds upsets her. The kids are involved. Amanda ends up playing mediator more than she thought, and it turns into a three-way discussion instead of a 2-way shouting match. They all agree that taking care of the families shouldn’t be just Meh’s responsibility, and that there will be help and funds coming from the town as well since Amanda invited them in. Nolan also intends to visit them all himself. This can only go well, right?

-090-

Something Nolan and Amanda, maybe him taking her out on a date. It's very nice just the two of them. But it's achingly quiet back at her place that night, and the sounds that come through are not ones of comfort. She doesn't actually miss having the kids everywhere all the time, does she?

-090-

Alak and Luke join Irisia, Meh and the kids for dinner. Lots of cuteness, and Alak misunderstanding things even more. Subtext is probably hilarious. 

-090-

Meh finally telling Nolan what she’s been up to with Amanda (in terms of a possible way out for him). He’s less than thrilled about the deception but....there might finally be news? And they’re having dinner with the Tarrs. 

Ah, shtak. 

-090-

The Tarrs invite them all over for dinner. 

“How much do you wanna bet this is a one-time deal?” Nolan asked Amanda as they walked to Datak’s house. It was a bit of a distance, but Meh was driving the kids in her roller and they would grab a ride back on the way home. “I mean..the kids are pretty well-behaved, but...”

“They’re still kids.” Amanda, grinning.

As it turns out...Datak thought of that. Or at least Stamah had. The kids have a picnic with Irisa and Alak and Luke in another room. The adults have a fancy dinner. Nolan is noticeably uncomfortable. Meh corrects him in Indojisnen.

“Could you make it less obvious you’re helping me?” Muttered under his breath. 

“Could you make it less obvious you have no idea what you’re doing?” Being far less discreet but in indojisnen. 

Amanda hides her smile and eats her (excellent) dinner. 

Meal time chit chat. Nolan discusses the house, Amanda reconstruction of the ‘Net. Stamah relates an anecdote about Luke and Irisa, and Meh tells a story about Samir and his latest goofs. He’s still coming along well. It's a bit strained, but everyone is on their best behavior (for them). 

“Well,” Datak said as he set aside his napkin and motioned for his servants to begin clearing the table, “Now that the good doctor has successfully coached Nolan through his meal without a bib and our appetites sated...we have business to discuss. Shall we?” Rising, and motioning everyone through to a separate room with couches. Amanda and Nolan settle in together. Stamah on another chair, and Meh in a single by herself. Datak remains standing, holding some papers.

“I have both good news and bad,” he said once the tea was served and his people had cleared the room. “As you all know, I have been gathering information on behalf of my good friend Meh to aid Nolan’s attempt to avoid a firing squad.”

“Yes, yes, we know,” Meh. “You can save the posturing for your wife. What’s the news?”

“Amanda cannot request a home trial for Nolan until she applies for and receives VC membership and then they wed which would legally protect him as well. Which, by that time, would be too late for him.”

“How long?” Amanda.

“A year, minimum, and that is with substantial bribes that I do not believe even the entire city could afford. With relatively affordable bribes, two years or more. And if they thought for a second you were going to use it to save the man who murdered a Vice Chancellor in front of dozens of witnesses or you lost an election to another candidate, you would be denied out of hand.”

“That’s too long.” Meh, crossing her arms. “What’s the good news?”

“That all Nolan has to do to get his home trial is to marry someone who is already a VC citizen. Someone born with it preferably, and who’s brilliance and peerage is without question.”

“I’m flattered,” Nolan, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not marrying you, Datak.”

“Don’t start,” Meh, cutting off Datak’s reply. “Both of you. He means me, Nolan, and while I would consider it the fact is it won’t work.”

“Who not?” Datak, his smile losing its brilliance. “I mean...Nolan isn’t the greatest example of human beauty or intelligence-”

“Hey!” Nolan.

“But nobody's saying you have to actually chup him,” Dtak went on mildly. “Political marriages are common in the VC, and...mistresses an accepted part of life.” Pointedly not looking at Amanda.

“That’s true for Castithans,” Meh admitted dourly. “But not for indogenes. We don’t marry for power or influence or political machinations. If we marry, it's because we’ve found our other half. Or halves, if you will. And no one who had ever heard of me before would believe that Nolan could fill that roll.”

“Because he’s a human?”

“Because he’s male.” Clearing her throat. “I had a...reputation, alright? Before I was married, which is now over and we are  _ not _ discussing, they stopped giving me single female lab assistants, technicians or helpers of any kind who were unattached. Race didn’t matter, and I was very persuasive. If news got around to any of them -which we can assume that it will- that I had married a human _ male _ , they would either assume that I was forced against my will or that I was being paid to use my VC membership to save him. And in either case, it would invalidate the request and my membership either revoked or them swarming into ‘rescue’ me from you all.”

“...ah.”

“There’s other people in town with VC membership, right?” Amanda. “Castithans and Irathiants. Why can’t one of them-?”

“Peerage,” Meh, a deep sigh, going into teacher mode. “In the Castithans you have the Liros. In the Irathiants, you have the bloodlines. Among the indogenes, you have Primes. Which, we'll be having a discussion later about how you found that out.” Glaring at Datak.

“Lucky guess.” Smirking, preening a little. “Though you have to admit, it was a little obvious-   
“

“For the purpose of discussing this town, there’s only two women in it that I know of with sufficient peerage by birth to get their request listened to by the VC.” Running over Datak, clearly annoyed. “One is married,” motioning to Stamah. “And the other is gay.” Motioning to herself. “That’s it.”

“Oh.”

Meh stands, unnecessarily straightening her clothes. “Well, thank you for that terrible bit of news, Datak. I’m going to check on the kids.” She leaves in utter silence.

Nolan stands up and rounds on Datak. “You know, for someone who claims to care about Meh, you sure have a chupping terrible way of showing it.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, asshole, she asked me to do this. To help save you.” Straightening his vest. “Which is looking less and less likely.”

“I could still apply for citizenship,” Amanda, quickly. “Right?”

“It’s beyond a long shot. And Nolan would need to start running now to have any chance of keeping ahead of the VC for two years or more.” Datak. “Again, assuming they don’t realize what you’re up to in the meantime and that you can raise the capital to pay the bribes.”

“Raise the capital? How about just make sure you pay your chupping taxes for once, I bet that’d cover it real fast-”

“You utter ignoramus. I pay my taxes like every other law-abiding citizen of Defiance, and even if I paid  _ doubled _ it wouldn’t-”

Stamah is thoughtful and quiet. While the men argue, she moves to sit beside Amanda who is silently stunned. She was sure Doc would find a way, she was so sure...

“Tell me, Amanda,” she said, ignoring the shouts that were now being exchanged. “...how do you feel about kissing a woman?”

-090-

Irisa glanced up as Meh walked in, a grim smile on her face and shouts in the distance.

“Is everything alright?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Meh replied mildly. “It’s not about you, or Alak. We may not be staying very long, though.” Smiling down at Kai. “Hello, little one. Have you been behaving?”

“Say, of course mama. I’m one of the sweetest babies there ever was.” Irisa.

“She means the sweetest, but she doesn’t want to appear biased in front of Luke.” Alak, smiling at baby Kai. Teasingly under her breath. 

And she’s right. Within minutes, Nolan walks in with a forced grin. “Let’s go, kiddos. We’ve got school tomorrow.”

“Awww....” They’ve pulled out all of Alak’s old toys. The kids really liked them. 

“We will have you over again soon, little ones.” Stamah, smiling brightly as she strides in as well, a thoughtful Amanda and fuming Datak behind her. “To spend more time with Luke and Alak.”

Thank Yous. Goodbyes. Irisa stays behind with Alak and Luke to go back to their place.

They pile into the roller, and Meh lets Nolan drive. She sits in the front with Kai in her lap, Amanda is in the back with the other three. They are all very busy telling her about all of Alak’s toys, to where she can’t really pay attention to what Meh and Nolan are saying.

“Did you punch Datak?”

“No.” Grumbling.

“Good.”

“A reputation, huh?” In Indojisnen.

“Oh, I don’t want to hear it. Not from you.”

“I’m not mad. I’m actually a little bit...proud.” Knocking an elbow against hers. “Just don’t tell beloved.”

“Please, I’m sure she’s disgusted enough with me.”

“Why?” Rolling his eyes. “Meh, I have a reputation. Her sister had a reputation. Obviously...she doesn't care about reputations. Besides...you were going to have to tell her about Lev eventually.”

She glances at him, watching him carefully for a long moment. “...you’ve already mentioned her to Amanda.”

“I didn’t say that.” Quickly.

“Nolan...” Sighs. “You are such an  _ ass _ .”

“Yeah, sorry.” Shrugging.

“And that doesn’t even matter, because our plan is in shambles.”

“Maybe, but I still think you’ll come through with something.” Very quietly. “And if you don’t-”

“Stop it.”

“It’s ok, Meh.” Catching her eye. “It is.”

“...frigging...”

They arrive at the clinic. Samir is getting ready to leave, and Doc decides to head in and check on things. Takes Kai with her. Nolan takes the rest of the kids up, Amanda indicates she’s going with Doc. He’s curious, but lets it go. Samir leaves a minute later, and when he does Meh notices Amanda for the first time, waiting by the door with an unusually serious expression on her face. 

“Is something wrong?” Pausing putting away more files, glancing upwards. Then at Kai who is still chilling calmly in her small enclosure. 

“No, not with the kids no.” Fidgeting. “I, uh, I wanted to ask you something, away from prying ears.”

“...ok.” A little worried now. “If this about Lev...I don’t want to talk about that.”

“If you mean your wife, no. This isn’t about her.”

“Then this is about Nolan and the VC.”

“Mostly, yes.”

“Ok, so...there is another option.” Adopting the tone and posture she does when she’s about to give someone news they don’t want to hear.

“...really?” Stopping whatever she was about to say.

“Yes, really.” Long sigh. “It’s an...indogene-specific thing. So Datak doesn’t know about this which is why he didn’t bring it up.”

“Alright. But Nolan isn’t an indogene.”

“I’m aware.” Holding up a hand when Amanda starts to say more. “Will you just...I’m trying to put into words something that I’ve never said in English before. The one time Nolan and I spoke about it, it was during indojisnen boot camp and he wasn’t allowed to speak in anything else. I’m not entirely certain how much he understood as a result, but...we’ll see.” Shrugs. “The point is: indogene beliefs are very different from the other races. We were created unlike anyone else, and then promptly enslaved as a food and companionship source. As a result, we’re a little.... cynical in our beliefs. Most of them aren't important, but we do believe that it is possible to find someone who is basically you in another body."

"What, like a....twin?"

"Hm....yes and no. Here is where it gets hard to explain. You could say 'soulmate', a very popular human myth, but that carries with it sexual and romantic undertones that are not present at all. You could say ‘best friend’ or ‘sibling’ but that’s not right either. Friends are the family you choose, but can be very different from yourself in belief or creed. Siblings tend to have the same physical characteristics and have the bond of family blood, which this explicitly excludes.”

“Can you give me an exact translation? Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense...it might help.”

“Um...’one who is me in another body’ or ‘they who are I in a different form’.” Bopping her head around. “Although, the argument behind how it should be arranged is-” Catching Amanda’s eye. “-not important. Right.”

“Regardless, how could anyone make that sort of a connection between you and Nolan. You’re absolutely nothing alike!”

“And yet our paths are strikingly similar.” Shrugs. “We both joined the war effort, on opposing sides. Became really good at what we did, which meant a lot of people died. We both justified it as necessary at the time. Patriotic, even. We both hate ourselves for that now. We both found a new home, in a place with our former enemies. We both built a new family after we lost our first one. We have both lied to try and protect others, and we (I hope) have learned how stupid that is. We are both trying to build Defiance towards a better future.” Shrugs. “I’m better looking obviously, but there’s not much we can do about that.”

Amanda laughs in spite of herself. “I guess...I never thought of it like that.”

“Really? I’m a little hurt that you never realized that I’m better looking-”

“But what are you not saying?”

“Hm?” Head tilted to the side.

“If this were only good news, we’d be having this conversation with Nolan and getting ready to set it in motion. So what’s the catch.”

“The catch is...legally we become one person to the VC.” Clearing her throat. “And it's for life. And...includes a few...body modifications.”

“...what?”

“Essentially, if you married Nolan you would have to marry me too. Whatever happens to him, happens to me. He gets his VC membership, because I have one. That includes my blood status as a Prime. But then...I’ll...”

“Be charged with the murder of Chancellor Silora.”

“Yeah.” Shrugs. “But, with my involvement he’s...much more likely to escape with only a relatively minor punishment.” Amanda gives her a disbelieving look. “What? I’m...kind of a war hero. Even if I don’t want to be, I am, and it can finally do some frigging good for someone.”

“You mentioned body modifications?”

“Oh, right, uh...do you remember ‘bluetooth brain’?”

“Uh....yes.” 

“This would be similar, but less harmful and more...just a general sense of where the other person is and how they’re doing.” Shrugs. “He’d basically have gaydar, but only for one person. Me.”

“I don’t...I mean, its....”

“Think about it. We have at least a little bit of time, I hope.” Remembering. “You said you had something you wanted to talk about, and I just bulldozed right over you. Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

“...oh. Right. Yes.” Clearing her throat. “...I was going to ask you to marry Nolan and I.”

Meh pauses, turns around slowly. “Run that by me again?”

“Stamah explained to me that indogenes do accept multiple partner marriages, and that as long as I ‘publically courted’ you before we held the ceremony, we could probably get away with it.” 

“I mean...it’s not a terrible idea, but it does have some drawbacks.”

“Such as?” Arms crossed. “Is this where you tell me I’m not pretty enough for you?”

“I did not say that, nor would I. Ever.” Annoyed. “It means you have to move in with the kids and I. My plan, if Nolan agreed, meant you could technically continue to have a separate life. If you wanted it.”

“You said if we got married-”

“Exactly. So if you don’t, it's not an issue. Some of us who do this share romantic partners. Some don’t. But if you get married...then the other partner is involved even if it's just by default. We don’t have to live together but it's considered odd. And not exactly something we would want to draw attention to with the trial coming up and everything.”

“What are the other drawbacks?” Not looking happy.

“I’m not sure even with you between us anyone would ever believe I would marry a man. It's extremely out of character for me. And...it doesn’t protect Nolan as well.” 

“Why not?”

“Datak was right that marrying someone with VC status gives their spouse provisional VC status as well. But, um, let’s just say its a theory that hasn’t been tested much in terms of humans who may have committed murder?”

“You’re not sure it would hold up for a trial.”

“Not entirely, no. The other thing? Absolutely. Nolan will essentially become an extension of me in the eyes of the VC.”

“That seems too easy. Anyone could just-”

“They wouldn’t.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because...this is the most intimate thing an indogene can do.” Holding Amanda’s gaze. “This is deeper than sex. Deeper than marriage. It's...beyond anything you can imagine in terms of being openly vulnerable to someone else. It's giving someone else the same trust you give yourself.”

“And you would do that. With Nolan.”

“Yes.”

“...you already have.” Thinking. “Before. In space.”

“...practically, yes.” Clearing her throat. “We didn’t formalize anything, there was no one to formalize anything for but...more or less.”

“Why?”

“You say that like I sat down with him and went ‘hey, wanna do something that won’t feel good like sex but will make you super vulnerable to me? Sounds fun, right?’ No. He got hurt. I had to graft part of me into him to help. It had consequences. At that point, we really didn’t care. We had already been so ridiculously dependent on each other just to survive for so many years that...what did one more thing matter?” Defensive. “

“...I’m sorry.”

“No, it's alright.” Shrugging uncomfortably. “I can imagine it would be pretty hard to wake up one day and find out the person I loved had this...insanely close but specifically unromantic relationship with someone.” More quietly. “I was married. I get it. The thing you have to remember is...I’m not your competition. I know how Nolan feels about you. I’m not trying to stop that. I don’t want any of what you want from him. In fact, you could argue that I’m helping you stay together because if the VC collars him and drags him back south there is no relationship. For anyone of any sort ever again.”

“I know.” 

“Mom?” It’s Richard. Becca wants her to come say goodnight, and Kai starts to fuss in her holder. Doc says she’s coming and invites Amanda up while scooping up the baby. It seems like they have more to talk about.

Amanda follows.

Nolan senses the mood is a little off, waits until Meh has shuffled the other three off to sleep and he’s giving Kai her last bottle before asking what’s up. 

“I’m not even sure where to start with that.”

“Did...something happen?”

“There’s another option. Two, technically, but Doc’s laid down pretty good groundwork for one being better than the other.”

“Ok.”

“I think...I was just...a little invested in us getting married and...” 

“...why can’t we get married?”

“Because it's not as fool proof as you becoming another me.” Meh, reappearing without any of the kids. “And that’s a deal breaker.”

“...wait, you want us to do  _ that? _ ” Surprised. “But you said-”

“Forget what I said. I technically never said it and shouldn’t be held accountable for it.” Shrugging uncomfortably. “I would do it to save you. They have to see you as an extension of me, because you will  _ be _ an extension of me.”

“...oh no.”

“That’s not a big deal.” Quickly. “Really. It’ll be fine.”

“No. Shtack. No! Absolutely not!”

“If it saves you-”

“They’ll charge you with murder!”

“Technically, yes, but it also protects you so-”

“No!”

“Nolan, stop being a baby and listen. The procedure will take less than twenty minutes, and since you’re not dying this time you won’t even feel it after a few hours. We sign the papers, change a few legal documents- it's done!”

“Meh, they will  _ charge you with murder _ . What about the kids!”

“Yes, they will, but  _ we have evidence _ , right? It wasn’t your fault, Nolan! You were delusional, unable to make rational decisions, and that only happened because you saved the planet! Every human on the planet would be dead if not for you, and half the Votans too. It would have been devastating, to everyone. Our combined cred with the VC is going to be so much that they can’t just kill you and I out of hand, alright? Besides, I’m a Prime. That guarantees me a public, fair trial with a jury of local peers. There will be a punishment of some kind, but it won’t be something...catastrophic, alright? Probably a one and done, we’ll both walk away with cool new scars and it’ll be over.”

“I can’t believe...and you’re ok with this?” To Amanda, annoyed.

“I...don’t know how I feel about it.” Amanda, arms crossed to the side. “I was actually going to suggest that we get married, but-”

“...I would like to, but...” Rubbing at his face. “I just don’t see how that helps everything else.”

“Both of you. I wanted to marry both of you.” Cutting off his reply. “To protect you. You can’t marry her, I understand why no one would believe that, but I thought both of us maybe...if they thought you two were...sharing me.” Fighting a blush.

“She thinks very highly of herself,” Doc, cleaning up a few things from the kids. “She is correct that it would grant you provisional citizenship, but...it’s not as airtight as my plan. Also, I still don’t think people would buy it.”

“I still feel like this is a comment on the fact that you just don’t think I’m attractive enough for you.” Amanda, bitingly. 

“And you’re still very hung up on whether or not I think you’re as pretty as your sister, which I think says more about you than me-”

“Stop it or I’ll tell her.” Nolan in indojisnen. 

Doc stops dead and stares at him. After a long pause. “You wouldn’t.”   
  


“Picking a fight isn’t going to change the facts. We can’t risk you like that.”

“But risking you is perfectly acceptable!”

"I'm expendable!"

" _ Expenda-"  _ Cutting herself off, almost shaking with fury. "You think the way she feels about you is expendable?" Pointing at Amanda who's is starting to look both annoyed and confused. "You think what you mean to me or the kids is expendable? You think Irisa would ever-"

"You know what I mean!"

"No, I don't! Because all you're talking is utter nonsense."

That's when Amanda sees Richard watching from the doorway to the bedroom with Colton and Becca beside him. Their faces are all grave, and she remembers they speak indojisnen. They understand what is being shouted back and forth.

"Guys!" Over the yelling. Both pause and glance at her. She points to the kids. Both adults immediately look sheepish and a little guilty. 

"Why would you say you're expendable?" Richard, into the silence. "You said everyone is important in our family."

"They are. You are." Nolan, rubbing at his face and stepping forward. "This isn't.... it's complicated. Adult stuff."

"In space, you said that was just an excuse not to explain something." Colton.

"....true." Meh, smiling suddenly. "Family vote."

All three kids perk up.

"No." Nolan.

"Yes." Meh. "You came up with it, now you can live with it. Family vote. And whatever we decide is what we do."

"... that's not fair."

"I'm sorry, what is going on now?"

"Now is when you will probably regret getting mixed up in this craziness." Meh, ushering the kids to the table. 

"We...well  _ I  _ decided to enact a democratic election on a decision Meh was firmly against but the kids and I were all for. She gave in, but it stuck. Which meant when she and I couldn't agree, we would lay it out for the kids and cast a vote. And we stick to whatever it is the vote decides."

"You're kidding."

"I wish I was."

"How can they  _ possibly _ understand-"

"By breaking things down. It's usually not as hard as people think." Meh, settling in as well. "Are you coming?"

"We cannot possibly let these children decide whether or not we're getting married."

"That's not technically the argument at the moment." Nolan, sighing. "I can't let Meh  _ bond _ me again. Not when she'll get charged too. It doesn't make sense-"

"We have proof it wasn't your fault, and we won't be guaranteed a chance to present it unless you bond me again." Annoyed. "Just because-"

" _ Mom. _ " Richard, rubbing at his eyes. "the begining. You have to start at the beginning."

"....right. Yes. So...before we got shot into space the first time, your Uncle Joe did something heroic and stupid, because they're usually one and the same for him, and saved the world. In doing so, he got stuck on a Votan ship with Irisa. The ship tried to use Irisa to connect to him and save them both. This had consequences. Growths in their brains that were never meant to exist in the first place. This caused other problems, like hallucinations and paranoia. I wasn't much help fixing it, because I wasn't really happy with Uncle Joe at the time and I had a few problems of my own. This meant the relatively small problem went untreated and caused a really big problem." Amanda about to interject. "Uncle Joe killed someone who was important to the VC."

"You can't tell them that, they're kids!" Amanda, shocked. 

"We don't lie to them, Amanda." Nolan, quietly. "They know about our pasts. Our mistakes and failures. Everything."

“ _ Everything? _ ” Pointed.

“Not in graphic detail, if that’s what you’re asking.” Meh, catching her eye. “But the bones of it, yes. So, your Uncle Joe killed an important person. He was under the influence of subversive alien tech in his brain. That should make it not his fault, but the VC isn’t known for being forgiving to humans. At all. They don’t want justice, just a scapegoat. This wasn’t really an issue when he and I got shot into space, by the time we made it back -if we ever did- it would be so many decades later that it's doubtful anyone would remember or care. Now, however....now it's an issue.”

"What are they going to do to him?" Colt

"Kill him, probably, unless we can force them to give him a fair trial."

"Then do it." Richard. "Why does that need a vote?"

"Because of the two options, the one that will probably work the best also puts your mom in danger." Glancing at Amanda. "Which I don't accept, even to protect me."

"How?"

"Do you remember how I used to know where Uncle Joe was without looking and he could usually tell you whether or not it was a good time to ask about desserts with dinner or not? It's basically that." Nolan clears his throat. “That and then we legally become one person so I’ll also be charged with the murder. And whatever they sentence him with I will also be roped into, somehow. However, that also means that he gets the full benefit of my citizenship rights  _ and _ the clout that comes from just how awesome I am. In other words: I’m kind of important to the VC in the right context and murdering a war hero without a trial will make them look terrible. So we both go to trial and we both....face the consequences. Together.”

“Which isn’t happening because it risks you losing me and your mom.” Nolan, coming to sit at the table on the floor. “I accepted that there was a chance if we came home that we weren’t going to be together very long. But you have your mom and Amanda and Aunt Irisa. You’re taken care of, whatever happens to me. So what we need to do is plan ‘B’.”

“What’s ‘plan B’?” Richard. Amanda gets an eerie feeling watching this. The kids are way more focused and serious about this than she expected. Their maturity at times is astonishing. And...a little creepy? She’ll need to stay on her toes around these three. 

“Plan B,” Nolan said as he settled in. “Is your mom and I are going to marry Amanda. This protects me -hopefully- from being dragged away without a fair trial and should allow Amanda and your mom the right to testify at the trial for me. Meh thinks if we can get that far, I’ll still be punished but it won’t be my life.”

“But...that only works if they grant you a public trial in Defiance, if they let mom and Amanda testify, and if they decide to punish you fairly even though you’re a human. That’s a lot of ifs.” Colt. “I wouldn’t build something with that many ifs in it.”

“Also, would anyone believe you would marry Uncle Joe?” Richard, scratching at his neck in embarrassment. “Y’know, since...”

“Since I am decidedly against any sort of romantic encounter with a male of any sort? Yeah...that’s an if as well.” Meh, lopsided smile. Amanda is floored. Why do the kids know that?

“What are the ifs in Plan A?” Becca, sounding surprisingly intune with everything.

“There aren’t any.” Meh, shrugging. 

“You can’t possibly know for certain they’ll accept-” Amanda.

“I do.” Meh, quietly certain. “I’ll have to submit testimony, but it's...not something that can be faked, alright? They will know without a doubt my sincerity and honesty, because if I wasn’t and we did this they would know. Take it from a grade-A pathological liar, this is not an area in which you can fudge the results. The  _ only _ if is if they manage to sneak in and try and nab him before we can submit that proof, things could...get dicey. But that’s the case either way, so I don’t think it counts.”

“And what happens  _ if  _ we get convicted?” Nolan, low growl.

“That’s not an if, we will be. The proof is going to show that you did do it, just that it wasn’t your fault. The question is the severity of the punishment. Silora was a Castithan, chances are they’ll look to Castithan doctrine for a suitable reprisal. It won’t be pretty, or easy.  _ But _ , a pound of flesh halved between us is way better than whatever they do would to you alone. And it will be a fair,  _ public _ trial. Which means whatever the punishment is, it won’t be death. Or crippling.” Noticing Amanda staring at her. “What?”   
  


“You knew that, and you still made the offer?” Quietly.

“...yeah.” 

“Meh, I’ve seen the result of Castithan punishment. How could you-”

“I’m the doctor, Amanda, I think I have a better understanding than you of what precisely I’m agreeing too.” To the kids. “So, are we ready to vote or do you need more time?”

“I’m not ready to vote.” Nolan, grumbling. 

“What, you don’t know how you want to vote?” Snarky Doc.

“No, I do-”

“Then you’re ready to vote. I’ve got mine. Kids? Amanda?”

“I have questions.” Richard, looking up from a hushed discussion from the kids.

“Ask away.” Doc, settling in.

“For Amanda. And I think you guys should leave while we ask.” Nolan and Doc both pause, then glance at Amanda who is still just trying not to flounder.

“Do you mind?” Nolan, to Amanda.

“I don’t...I mean, I guess not but-”

“They don’t bite. Much.” Doc, giving the kids a sharp look. “Be nice. We’ll be in the workroom, ok?”

“We will.” Colt, grinning sleepily. 

Adults swap out, Amanda looking nervous as the door shuts behind Nolan and Meh.

“So,” Richard giving her a long look. “What do you think the best thing to do is?”

“Why are you asking me?” Surprised.

“Because I don’t know what you think. I already know what they want to do, and what their arguments are going to be. This isn’t the first family vote. But they both said a lot about how smart and clear-headed you were thinking things through, so I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.”

“...I’m not sure what to think. And that’s probably because this is a little more...personal than usual.”

"One mom to two moms and a dad would be a trade up." Colt, grinning. 

"Do you want to be our mom?" Becca, seriously. 

"Oh, I....I hadn't really thought about it like that." Clearing her throat. "You guys are really important to me, but this mainly came up as a way to save your Uncle Joe. I hadn't.... really thought past that."

"Well....do you?"

"I...would do my best." Sitting up a little straighter. "I wasn't planning on being a mother. I didn't think I would be very good at it. But-"

The kids all laugh. Amanda gets a little annoyed. 

"The same thing!" Colt almost laying on the table. "She said the same thing!"

"Is this a normal earth thing? It makes people think they won't be good mom's?" Becca, still giggling.

"Who knows!" Richard, wiping at his eyes. "Aha, sorry. But I don't know why you'd think you wouldn't be a good mom. You raised Kenya, right? Your little sister."

"...you know about Kenya?"

"We know about everyone in Defiance. Everyone who was important to mom and Uncle Joe. Which seemed like everyone since she was the doctor and he was the sheriff." Colt, shrugging.

"We had SO many pictures to look at." Becca, thoughtful. "Kenya was really pretty."

"Yes, she was." Amanda quietly, even more certain now about Doc. "Is Doc a...good mom?"

"Yep." Colt.

"I think so." Richard. 

"She's just so  _ busy _ ." Becca, exasperated. 

"Yeah, but other than that she's a good mom. She never, like, gets mad about stuff. Not really. Uncle Joe yells more than she does."

"Well, if she can do it then maybe I can too." Half smile. "I would certainly give it my best. But we don't have to get married."

"I think you should. They both love you." Colt, brusque. "And seriously, huge trade up for us."

"So you're voting for plan B?" Becca surprised, before Amanda can respond to what Colt said. "But what about Uncle Joe? We have to-"

"No, I'm voting for plan C, all of the above." Finger guns grinning. 

"That's what I think," Richard grinning. "Because then it gives us the biggest access to testimony for the trial from mom, Amanda  _ and _ Irisa, protects Uncle Joe the best,  _ and _ provides for us legally if it goes wrong. We'll belong to you." 

“That’s my vote too, then.” Becca. To Amanda. “What do you think?”

Amanda finds herself under the intense gaze of three extremely intelligent children.

What has she gotten herself into?

“Uh...it’s a very...logical plan.” Mind scrambling to sort through the emotional tangle of it all. “I guess...it does make a great deal of sense.” 

“You want to save Uncle Joe,” Colt, simply. “So do we. This covers all the angles. Measure twice, cut once. It never fails.”

“That’s very wise of you.” Amanda, quietly.

“Ask him how many times he didn’t before he learned the lesson,” Richard, smirking.

“Hey! Just admit, half the reason you want her to be our mom is so you have someone around you can actually beat at checkers most of the time.” Elbowing his big brother.

“You never beat mom either.” Elbowing back, cheeks pink.

“No, but I also don’t let it bother me. She’s like,  _ super smart _ . Of course she’s going to kick our butts when we play.”

“Guys, can we vote? I’m tired.” Becca, around a yawn.

“Yeah, I’ll get mom and Uncle Joe.” Colt hopping to his feet.

Richard. “You don’t have to vote with us, if you don’t want to.”

“I get a vote?” Ironic.

“Oh, you’ll get a vote.” Richard, grinning. Amanda remembers what Colt said. She supposes it would be hard not to love the sibling of someone you loved. And if she and Nolan are as close as Doc implied, that’s probably another point of contact. Not because she actually loves Amanda for herself because...that makes absolutely no sense at all in her mind.

“We’re back!” Colt, dragging Meh along by the wrist and Nolan following with a curious/worried/nervous expression on his face. 

“Ok,” Meh taking the seat across from Amanda and settling in quickly. “The voting options are A: Uncle Joe and I become one person. B: Uncle Joe and I marry Amanda. So-”

“And C: We do both.” Richard, piping in from his seat.

“...wait, what?” Meh, clearly interrupted in her train of thought.

“Both A and B have gaps. C takes care of both.” Richard, calmly and to the point.

“That’s overkill.”

“Is there such a thing as overkill when you’re saving someone’s life?” Colt, curiously.

“Yes.” Becca and Richard together, which makes Amanda wonder what the story behind that is as Nolan chokes out a chuckle and Meh smiles slightly.

“...you can, technically, propose an alternate solution, but you need an adult to support it for it to be added,” Meh, consideringly. “I do think it's overkill, so no. I don’t support it. Nolan?”

“Same.”

“I support it.” Amanda from her seat. “Do I have a vote?” Pointed, obviously about the fact that this concerns her too. Rather intimately.

“Of course you do.” Nolan quickly, sensing the danger in that gaze. “Right?”

“Yes, you do, but...are you sure?” More quietly. “I thought you would prefer the out of having a little more...freedom.”

“No, I don’t, and no matter how many times you bring it up I’m not changing my mind.” Pointed.

“Alright, alright...” Half-rolling her eyes. “It’s in. Wonderful. Voting options are A, B and C. Do we need to go over what they are or-”

“Vote!” Colt.

“Please.” Becca.

“We’re ready.” Richard.

Nolan and Amanda both nod.

“...alright. All in favor of A, raise your hand.” Doc raises her hand. No one else does. “One for A. Everyone in favor of B, raise your hand.” Nolan raises his hand. No one else. “One for B. That’s some consolation, I suppose. And everyone in favor of C-” The kids and Amanda all have their hands in the air. Colt has two hands. After a moment of thought, Becca does too.

“You still only get one vote.” Richard, looking at them.

“Yeah, but two hands is like...SUPER vote. You really mean it.”

“Really?” Doubtful.

“Yeah.”

“...ok.” Richard puts up his second hand too. Everyone looks at Doc and Nolan.

“...you’re going to blame this one me, aren’t you.” Nolan, tiredly.

“You did start it.” Meh, rubbing at her face. “C it is. Ok. Kids, I think you need to go back to bed. The adults have some more things to discuss.”

“But...you’re going to do it?” Richard, getting up.

“Yes, we will. Assuming we can iron out the details and make it all work.” Holding up a hand as Becca and Colt start to protest. “We’re not going back on our word, but you also have to accept the fact that not everything always goes according to plan. So let us iron out the details, and then we’ll discuss what comes next. Ok?”

“...ok.” Reluctant. 

“Now, seriously, it's way past your bedtime and even if there is no school tomorrow I don’t want to deal with a bunch of grumpy-gremlins in the morning. So scoot.”

Hugs all around, including for Amanda. Colt and Becca are sleepy-celebrating. Nolan sighs in defeat and Meh hides a groan. 

“So.” Once the bedroom door is closed. “Do we want to do this tonight or do you two need some sleep before facing down this negotiation.”

“Negotiation?” Amanda, around a yawn.

“...exactly. It can wait for the morning.”

“And give you four hours to plan the perfect argument? No, I think we should do this now.” Nolan, getting up and heading to the kitchen counter. “I’ll make some tea.”

“It’s not my fault I can get by on four usually.”

“I didn’t say it was. I still would rather do it now. Amanda?”

“I still don’t see what needs to be negotiated, but sure.” Settling in at the table, stifling another yawn. “Let’s get to it. What needs to be discussed first?”

“Probably the procedure, which is where we’ll need to start.” Grumbling a bit. “It’s going to take me at least a week to prepare. The clinic is not set up at all for self-performed surgery, and-”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“...I’m going to perform surgery. On myself. Brain surgery, to be specific, because here is no one else in the city I trust to do it.” Writing on some paper. “I’ll need to rewire and program a drone to do the work for me. Do several detailed scans of both of us. Decide which part to take and where it's going in you. Prep you for surgery too....probably two weeks total for both to be done and finished. Then a week to get used to having you in my head again. I’ll have all the necessary paperwork drafted as well, so all we have to do is sign on the dotted line and it’ll be done. Most of the proof will be here, though.” Tapping her own head. 

“Samir could help-”

“Samir is going to help, but he doesn’t know enough about indogene biology or brain surgery to be of much use. I’ll need to rig a neural interface too, since I don’t have the...” Motioning to her neck.

“Right, yeah.” Pouring cups for everyone.

“Should I know what you’re talking about?” Amanda, trying not to be annoyed.

“No, sorry,” Meh looking up. “I’ll explain if you want, but it's nothing that can be changed.”

“No, I’m fine.” Shrugging her shoulder. “What else?”

“How much of the marriage act are we selling?” Meh, glancing at Nolan speculatively. “Richard is going to have...expectations.”

“What does that mean?” Amanda, accepting her mug. “Thank you.” 

“Richard was the first one we woke up, and when his physical capacity allowed his mental capacity to take off, he devoured books and videos like he was dying of hunger. T’evgin, apparently, had been collecting data chips of human and Votanis works to help convince his bloodthirsty brood that humans were, in fact, worth saving. And of course, Richard being Richard, he fell in love with love stories. Princess Bride. Pride and Prejudice. The Honor of Falor. Three Hidden Kisses. We were a little too distracted by the mission and preparing for Colt and had a dozen other things, and he tried to...hook us up.”

“I’m sorry. You’re saying Richard tried to play matchmaker?”

“Very, very hard. Yes.” Meh rolling his eyes. “Which is why we had to have a long, detailed conversation about why that was absolutely never going to happen no matter how much I cared about Nolan. The fantasy, though, is still there.”

“The kid is slick, and when he gets old enough girls better watch out.” Nolan, sounding proud. “He not only managed the equivalent of a candlelight dinner for us in space, his attempts to get us alone together in romantically inclined situations were pretty clever.”

“His love life is not the one currently being discussed.” Doc, pointedly. Looking at the table. “How do you two want this to work? Technically you and Nolan could get married, but not move in with the kids and I. It would be...odd, but not...”

“No,” Amanda quietly. “Because that doesn’t protect the kids as well, does it?”

“...if by that you mean, what happens to the kids if this all goes pear-shaped and Nolan and I both...leave? Well...supposedly, the kids would go to you. But, if we’re assuming everything has gone wrong, then...”

“Then it might not stick.”

“No.” Looking away. “Or...I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Then it's not an option. In my mind the two most important things are keeping you and Nolan alive, and making sure the kids are taken care of whatever happens.” A slow breath. “So we’re getting  _ married _ married. All three of us.”

Doc looks at her for a long moment. “...would you care to elaborate on that?”

“We’ll all move into the house together when it's done. Or you and Nolan and the kids will, and I’ll slowly start shifting my things over as we work our way up to the wedding. We’ll have to figure out sleeping arrangements and meals and schedules, but put me in the rotation same as either of you two would. Make me a full partner with the kids.” Sighing. “This would be a little easier if all three of us weren’t very necessary to the continued survival of Defiance. I can’t stop being the Mayor.”

“Of course not.” Meh, quickly. “That would be a disaster. And Samir is coming along, but he won’t be ready to take the full load of my work for at least a few more years at best.”

“...actually, I was thinking I might step back from being Sheriff.” Nolan, seriously. 

“Who’s going to take your place?” Amanda, surprised.

“Irisa and Alak would both be good choices. I was actually thinking about training them both and possibly making it a joint position.” Shrugging. “The fact is, the VC isn’t going to let me keep the position, and I’m not sure I should after they leave. Especially if they establish any sort of...embassy or something here in town. I know they can’t tell us what to do, but I also don’t want to make this any harder than it has to be.” 

“So you’re going to be a stay at home dad?” Meh, grinning. “Letting the women provide everything? Very modern of you.”

“You own a private clinic, and she owns a brothel and is the Mayor. I think we’ll be alright.” Grinning back. “But we can work out the schedule later. Right now we should probably start with still having dinner together most nights and figure out how we’re going to convince everyone you and Doc are also in love.”

“That’s really not necessary-” Doc, quickly, giving Nolan a flat look.

“Would it really be that bad to kiss me? To...walk arm in arm sometimes?” Amanda, quietly. “I know I’m not Kenya, but...I think it’s important we look like a complete, united family to the VC and to Defiance.”

“...why do you keep bringing up Kenya?” Doc, genuinely confused and unwilling to address the other elephant in the room right at the moment. “I mean that, seriously, I already told you I was never her client so why do you keep acting like-...” It clicks. “You think...no. No.”

“You had an entire relationship with her that I didn’t even know about-”

“Yeah, but that was business. And she offered french toast. That isn’t...I wasn’t in love with your sister. Ever. I wasn’t...mentally or emotionally capable of it when she was still alive and nothing happened posthumously to change that. Especially not after that ass Pottinger and his brilliant scheme.” Rubbing at her face as Nolan coughs, trying to hide his laugh. “Shut up, Nolan.”

“Well, you have to admit...” Giving her a look with a growing smile. “It is a little funny.”

“Ass.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” Controlling his chuckles. 

“Is it because I’m a human? I know you said before that you hadn’t been with one before, but it can’t be that much bigger of a leap than any of the other Votani species.”

“...nope.” Giving her a long look, then abruptly. “I’m painfully out of practice being...in a couple. Or a relationship. Or whatever.”

“What happened to that reputation you mentioned?” Trying to tease, but it falls a little flat.

“...it’s about 20 years out of date?” Shrugging. Fidgeting. “And before our trip into space, I wasn’t exactly a touchy-feeling person. But, humans can’t survive without being touched, not well anyways, and I needed Nolan for the long haul. That meant...learning to accept physical affection I wasn’t always prepared to reciprocate.”

“Translation?” Amanda, to Nolan.

“You can hug her, she usually won’t hug you.” Nolan grins. “Not at first.”

“You’ve hugged me,” Amanda, exasperated to Doc. “In your clinic, I came to get the pain pills from you and-”

“And you hugged me first and smelled like Nolan because you were wearing his sweater. And it was completely platonic and I was very relieved that hopefully you were going to stop glaring at me every time you saw me and Nolan standing together.” Waving a hand. “Not the same thing at all. Also not a regular thing. And while yes you have hugged me a handful of other times, those have been very...specific occurrences. And still completely platonic. This....won’t be.

Nolan in indojisnen. “You could just tell her.”

“...I don’t think I can.” Replying in the same. 

“Meh...”

“She’s doing it to save you, Nolan. And...so am I. I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.”

He slips an arm around her. “Thank you. We’ll make it work, for all of us. I promise. And...I can’t make you, but I still think you should tell her.”

“No. I don’t want her to feel guilty or...obligated to be something she’s not.”

“Are you going to be ok?”

“I’m always ok.”

“I mean it.”

“...yeah, I will.” Clearing her throat. Amanda isn’t glaring, but there’s a set cast to her expression that Meh thinks is probably jealousy. Not much she can do about that. In english. “I also have some issues from my previous marriage. I suspect Nolan has told you more than he was supposed to about that, but other than this right here I still don’t want to talk about it. It didn’t end well, so now I have issues. Just...respect my boundaries, and know that any struggle I’m having playing my part isn’t because of you. Ok?”

“Ok.” Sympathy. Doc looks away hurriedly, she can’t take pity in any form. “What are your boundaries?”

Lay these out. Hugs, hold hands, etc, are fine as long as Amanda initiates them. Kisses need a little more heads up. In general, touching the skin of an indogene is considered incredibly intimate. Also, if Amanda wants to play up Doc not being a fan of PDA it might help. She will need to be seen courting Doc some, so they plan to start eating lunch together more often when work permits. 

Nolan is yawning furiously, and Meh sends them both to bed. They end up crashing at her place, so they can talk to the kids in the morning. She’s doing something in her workroom when Amanda pads back in about an hour later, Meh immediately yanking her eyes up when she realizes Amanda is wearing just a tshirt and her (Doc’s) leggings and no bra. 

“Everything alright?” When Amanda stops beside her but doesn’t speak, rubbing furiously at her face.

“It will be,” Softly. Voice starting to break. “Because of you. Because of you Nolan isn’t going to-” Tears forming in her eyes. “I think I would honestly have done almost anything to keep him here. I would have told him to marry you if that would have worked. I would have been happy to just be his mistress, for the rest of our lives, if it meant keeping him here, alive. I don’t care, I just...” Tears starting to come. “...I can’t lose him again.” Sniffing. “We kept missing each other, over and over, and now...now he’s here and I can’t-”

“He’s going to be fine.” Careful hands on Amanda’s arms, feather-light in their touch. “We’ve got a solid plan, and plenty of time to execute it. Of course because this is Defiance, it won’t go exactly according to plan, but we’ll still make it work in the end. Right?”

“Right.” Forcing a smile. Sniffling a little. 

"So....you should probably go to sleep because you'll need it tomorrow?" Gentle push towards the door. 

"C'mere." Pulling Doc closer.

"Why?" Stiff as a board. 

"Because I'm too tired to be insecure. And hopefully you'll squirm less without Nolan watching." Gently putting her arms around Doc's neck. Doc is almost not breathing. “You can stop that now, I’m not going to bite.”

“Which implies that sometimes you do, legs.” Unable to help herself. 

Brows raised, carefully taking Doc’s hands and placing them on her hips one by one. “So, is that your way of flirting then? Defensive snark?” Touch of a smirk. “Must be a Votanis thing, because I don’t see how you could get a reputation if that was your usual tactic.”

“No. Believe or not, once upon a time I had moves to rival Michael Jackson.” Gingerly flexing her fingers like she’s afraid the hips beneath her fingers are going to crumble away to dust.

“What happened to them?” Closing her eyes tiredly.

“I dunno. Guess they died with my wife.” A long pause, Amanda is the one that’s stiff now. “Wow. It's probably a good thing I’m not actually trying to get laid, I have never killed a mood that fast before-” Amanda starts laughing, dropping her head onto Doc’s shoulder. “Ok, ok, not as bad. I’ll take it. I am a doctor, and they say laughter is the best medicine-”

“ _ Doc!” _ Groaning, pulling back. “C’mon, that’s....did you seriously woo Votanis women with that cheese?”

“No, that’s what happens when you spend too much time with Nolan. Alas, the damage is probably permanent. I was much better at flirting once upon a time, I promise.”

“Right. Well, if you ever find someone who actually likes cheese with their romance...you should go for it."

"I thought I was getting married. To you.”

“Yes, but...it’s not fair to you. Not really. So, if you find someone...we’ll make it work. Whatever that means, because if we can be adults about this we can be adults about that. Alright?”

“Alright.” Entirely unconvinced that its going to happen and apparently it shows.

“Fine. Be that way. I’m going to find someone for you.”

“...what?”

“Someone who likes cheesiness, pale skin, lack of hair, snark...”

“I am perfectly capable of finding someone if I want to. I do not need anyone to play matchmaker for me.”

“You may have had game at one point, Doc, but I think maybe you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth-” Patting Doc’s cheek. 

“Seriously, don’t.” Catching Amanda’s wrist. “I, uh...not now, ok? Not yet.”

“...ok.”

“Ok.” Gently pulling away. “You should probably go to sleep. Lots of Mayoring to do tomorrow. And I heard you have a hot date for lunch...”

“Oh, am I being treated to some vindaloo or something?”

“Ouch. So bald, pale and cheesy does not do it for Mayor Rosewater. Duly noted.” Taking a bigger step back. “Good night, Amanda. See you in the morning.”

“Yeah, see you then Doc.”

Doc sits back down after she leaves and lays her head on the table.

This is....perfectly torturous.

Shit. 


	4. Part 4

-090-

Datak and Stamah, him fuming over the failure of his plan and her quietly gloating. She eventually tells him she fixed it, and explains how. He’s even more furious, because now Meh is going to be used again. Stamah is fairly certain that will not be the case. We will see.

-090-

Irisa comes by the next morning to check on them, Nolan fills her in on the situation. Of course she asks if Amand knows...

“No. And Meh wants to keep it that way.”

“...ok.”

She makes a point to go by Doc’s later and thank her for what she’s doing. And promised not to say anything to Amanda. Doc’s grateful. But Irisa is even more grateful.

-090-

Nolan is once again tipped off about chocolate one night just before he and Amanda leave from having dinner with the family. Amanda is even more impressed than she was before. Somehow Irisa finds out, and something in her face betrays to Amanda that she’s not pleased about something. 

“Is something wrong?” Amanda, a little worried.

“No.” Irisia too quickly. Seeing Amanda’s brows rise. “Not with you.”

“....your dad? Why are you angry with Nolan?” Thinking back over the conversation.

Giving Amanda a long look. Then: “Do you really think my _dad_ is the one who noticed that you’re on your period?”

“....I don’t....you dad is...”

“Good at stuff, none of which is noticing  _ anything _ about women other than possibly whether or not they want to have sex with him.” Bluntly, arms crossed. “His nose is shtak, even for a human, he can’t remember dates to save his chupping life and if it's not something  _ he _ has to go through the second its out of sight it's also out of his mind.”

“Then how do you explain the last three months?” Pointed. “He’s, within a  _ day _ of it starting, brought me something nice-” Irisia notices something over Amanda’s shoulder, and the Mayor turns to follow her gaze. It's Doc standing outside her clinic, helping a patient get into a family roller. “...wait, do you mean...?”

“Yep.”

“...why would you think  _ Doc- _ ”

“Because she’s  _ Doc _ .” Brows raised. “She always knows about mine too, had extra dried meat on hand.” Amanda gives her a look. Irisa shrugs. “I get extra hungry, and I like chewy stuff. Alright?”

“Is she...medically stalking us, or...” Frowning slightly.

“No, I think she just knows.” Casual shrug. “Like, her brain can’t turn itself off from collecting information and coming to conclusions.” Thoughtful look. “And the fact that we’re around her all the time now...”

Thinking back to after she had sex with Nolan for the first time after being injured. And how Doc just  _ knew _ . “...oh.”

“I just...my dad is getting credit for something he literally had nothing to do with, aside from possibly buying the gift himself. And even if Doc told him to do it, it's not right.”

Irisia gets called off to take care of something, and now Amanda has a lot to think about.

Great

-090-

During their ‘lunch date’ it comes out. Amanda notices it as soon as Meh suggests lunch at a few places, and names all of Amanda’s comfort food favorites while avoiding all of the places that could cause an issue with her stomach right now.

Crap. Irisia was right.

So Amanda confronts her. Doc is surprisingly relieved, and jumps right to something Amanda wasn’t expecting.

“Oh, fantastic, we can have this conversation then. Orgasm or no orgasm?”

“...I’m sorry,  _ what? _ ”

“Does it help you or not? With the cramps and the pain?” Entirely serious and in doctor mode. “I know Nolan is weird about blood and sex, so he’s useless for this but if the answer is ‘yes’ I might have an option for you.”

“...what sort of an option?” Extremely intrigued. Because while this is a weird conversation...this also sounds promising?

“Depends. Internal or external?” Looking at Amanda head on, waiting for an answer. It takes a moment for all the wheels to click in place for the Mayor to catch up.

“...oh. Um...external. Probably.”

“Much easier to do.” Nodding to herself. “I’ll send something with Nolan later. It will help.”

“Send  _ what _ with Nolan later?”

“Something that will help.” Meh, as though speaking to a small child.

“Yes, but what is it  _ specifically _ that you’re sending?”

“Picky about your vibrators, legs? I didn’t know you had other options.” Sardonic.

“...you can’t...I mean, I run the NeedWant. I know how much scrip they-”

“Oh, trust me, legs. It’ll cost me peanuts to make one out of spare parts and then cast a waterproof covering for it. Toss in a spare battery from a broken machine, it’ll run for months of use all while fitting neatly in your hand. And it's so easy that if I wouldn’t have to answer far too many questions about who and what it's for I’d ask the kids to make it for me.” Blithely.

“...are you chupping kidding me?” Uncertain if she’s excited or angry. A little of both. “We paid  _ hundreds _ of scrip for that set off the landcoach, and it took less than a  _ year _ before-”

“I know, I know.” Small smirk. “Trust me, I heard all about once I was out of prison. Chayella went on about the whole time she can in to have me look at the electrical burn on her-” Amanda shakes her head, no need to go on. “Right. So, you want it or not?”

“...” A long, uncomfortable pause.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Doc, looking pleased. “So, any preferences you want to make me aware of before I put the work in?”

“...how...loud...?” Unable to finish the sentence.

“Depends. The more rumble the louder it gets. Does your machine need a V8 that runs on diesel or a small electric motor?”

“...I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.” A little dazed.

“Big or little buzz, legs? Inquiring minds need to know.” Smirking.

“...medium?”

“Adjustable?”

“...I wouldn’t say no.”

“I can do that.” Checking the time. She needs to get back. Amanda tries not to think about it the rest of the day, but...it’s hard not to.

Something keeps Nolan out later than usual, but when he comes back to her place that night he has a package from Meh in hand.

It is everything Meh promised and more.

Some sort of discussion about how much trouble he’s in and why blood and sex bothers him. 

-090-

Apparently, there is already some speculation about Doc and Amanda, and when Irisa mentions to Alak that Amanda is considering courting her Alak is like, “I knew it!” Word spreads quickly after that. Doc gets some comments from patients, thought not many. Some do ask when the wedding bells are going to ring. She generally ignores them, but it still makes her smile.

Their lunches together become a regular thing, and Amanda always takes her arm in public. Cheek kisses from Amanda. The first lunch, they do have vindaloo (Doc’s treat, but she only gets one and steals maybe two bites before declaring herself full) then Doc starts absently shopping around for dinner as they wander the market. It quickly becomes their thing, and Amanda learns about Indogene's sense of smell (better than a human, not as good as a Castithans), taste preferences, and what cooking under Omec ship conditions was like. Kai is now about the size of a one year old, and often accompanies them on their lunches together. When she doesn't it's because she’s with Irisa. 

In private, they discuss the next steps as Doc prepares Samir and her drones for the surgery. 

“This is absolutely fascinating,” Samir from the table as he shovels down a bowl of stew (Doc, I didn’t know you could cook! This is  _ amazing _ !) and looks at scans on a screen. “Indogene brains are-”

“Keep it in your pants, buddy. You aren’t doing this part, I am.” Not looking up from being bent over the partially disassembled drone on the table. “Have you memorized the charts I sent you?”

“Uh, I mean, I think so. Yeah.” Trying to sound confident. 

Doc looks up, gives him a flat look. “Put on the headset, run the trial. We’ll see how good your memory is.”

“Ugh, I  _ hate  _ the-”

“Sorry for not having a live specimen for you to practice on, there is only one me.” Doc, shoving the headset a little closer. Samir reluctantly puts it on. It's clunky and heavy and uncomfortable. His head keeps tilting to one side.

“Can he hear over that?” Nolan, poking his head in with Amanda behind him.

“No, we have at least ten minutes before he’s done or has failed. I hope.” Both of them slip in to continue their discussion.

“So, where were we?” Nolan.

“Well, we are all public figures in the town,” Amanda said as they lingered over cookies Nolan had picked up for dessert. “A big ceremony with everyone invited would make sense.”

Meh makes a face.

“What, stage fright?” Nolan, teasing. 

“Excuse me for preferring to keep my private life...private.” Muttered. “But...I’ve already been married. So, whatever you two want is fine.”

“What was your first wedding like?”

Meh snorts, smirking a bit. “We got married on the roof of our lab, with our assistants as witnesses and the official ceremony conducted by a visited Castithan politician who was more than a bit eager to poke a sore spot with her father. Her family didn’t approve, and wouldn’t have attended even if we had asked.”

“Really, Doc? They didn’t approve of their daughter shackin’ up with a known heart-breaker?” Nolan. She smacks him.

“We didn’t dress up or...or invite friends or even tell anyone outside our lab for weeks. It was just for us, and that was all that mattered.”

“Well, as nice as that sounds...we’d never get away with it.” Amanda. “Just listing the people we have to involve more than doubles the guest list.”

“Who do we have to invite?” Nolan. “It’s our chupping wedding...”

“Language.” Meh.

“The kids, for one.” Amanda. “And Irisa. Which means we should probably include Alak and Luke. That nearly doubles the guest list as it is. Then we have to find someone to officiate....”

“What, you can’t officiate your own wedding?” Nolan.

“Actually...I was thinking Datak could do it.”

Meh, flatly, looking up from the drone again. “You want Datak to officiate your marriage?”

“To be perfectly honest...no. But he’s your friend, and it would probably help establish more credibility with the VC.”

“Because he’s known to them, and enjoys being the center of attention. He’ll probably also enjoy the irony and the subtlety.”Meh.

“Well, he wouldn’t be my first choice...” Nolan.

“Don’t start,” Amanda. “Meh, would you ask him?

“Yeah, I can do that.” A little pleased. 

Samir starts flailing. Randomly jabbing at buttons on the screen. Nolan reaches over and yanks the headset off, Samir stares up at him with wide eyes.

“Uh....”

Doc takes the screen from his hand, looking over the flashing numbers. “What did you....ok. Ok. Samir, you just killed me...how?”

“Uh....I overcompensated for your, uh....low blood pressure.”

“Low blood...Samir. Samir. Repeat after me: Doc is not a human.”

Mumbled back at her.

“Good. And Doc is not a Castithan, or an Irathient or a pet. Say it.”

Mumbled again.

“Good. Which means  _ Doc _ is an.....” Leading.

“Indogene?”

“Holy Christmas I hope you’re more certain than that.”

“You’re an indogene.”

“Yes, thank you! Which is why, despite that being the correct answer for all the other species we mentioned, it was the  _ wrong one this time _ !”

“Meh...” Nolan, putting a hand on her arm. Their eyes meet.

“Ok, ok...go home, Samir. Get some rest. MEMORIZE THE CHARTS. I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll run it again then. Ok?”

“Ok, Doc. I’m sorry, I just-”

“It’ll be ok. You’ll get it.” He nods and leaves, goodnights to the others. “I hope.” Once he’s out the door.

“He means well, Doc.” Amanda, from the table. “He’s trying.”

“I know, I know. But I won’t be in a position to help him this time if he screws up, and there isn’t anyone else to train even to help him so....” Rubbing at her face. “It’ll be fine. It will.”

“Well, the good news is that your best friend is going to perform your second wedding.”

“Assuming he says yes, so it's not good news yet.”

Nolan, suddenly remembering. “Oh...I have something. Our rings.” Pulling out a bag.

They’re of an odd, silver-oil metal. Amanda’s is studded with a red stone, Meh’s with a purple. 

“...you remembered.” Meh, quietly. 

“What metal is this?” Amanda, picking up the one he offers her.

Make up a name. “Indogenes can...interface with it.” Nolan explained as he rolled his around with a fingertip. “Store memories. I thought it would be a...nice touch.”

Meh smiles a bit, then slips it away. Nolan immediately reaches into his pocket again and pulls out another bag. “And I thought you might like this back too.”

Meh takes it, opens it, and promptly closes it again. “I sold this for a reason.” Indojisnen.

“Yeah, but I think you would have regretted it eventually.” Putting an arm around her. “Maybe someday it’ll be Kai’s.”

“Yeah, maybe.” After a moment of hesitation, she put the bag in her pocket. Hugging him. “Thank you.” It's the first time Amanda’s seen her hug Nolan like that. Or anyone besides the kids. Normally their exchanges make her feel like an outsider, but it's the first time she is 100% sure the Doctor’s walls are down and somehow that makes it special for her too. It gives her hope that this might work after all. 

Meh notices Amanda watching with a small, but confused smile. 

“Sorry.” English. She starts to let go, Nolan keeps an arm around her. “It’s..uh...” Trying to find the words. 

“Something important to you. It's fine.” Clearing her throat. “Have either of you thought about what you’re going to wear?”

“...clothes?” Nolan, trading looks with Meh who shrugs.

Oh dear.

-090-

“Well, this is an unexpected pleasure,” Datak said, striding into the cafe to sit with his equally pale friend. “Are we celebrating something? I would have thought you would be too busy trying to save Nolan’s sad ass. I notice he’s not running yet...”

“You could say that,” Meh replied as she sipped her that.

“Then you’ve found another way to save Nolan?” Dryly. “Obviously not with marriage.”

“No, with marriage.” Putting her cup down. “And something else, which you-”

“Oh, Reyatso preserve us...”

“What?”

“You’re marrying them both.”

“So Stamah told you her idea. She got it partially right. You should be happy, your work isn't going to go to waste after all, and we want you to officiate.”

“Your idea?”

“Amanda's, actually. She thought you would appreciate the irony.”

“I do. I also have to decline.” Looking away 

“Why?” Shocked. “This is right up your alley. Center of attention, and having the people in charge owe you favors...” Frowning, more quietly. “but if nothing else I thought you would do it for me.”

“It's because it's you that I have to decline.” Meeting her eyes. “I know that marrying you to Nolan was my idea. But my intention was that I believed he would take his responsibility to you and your family more seriously if you were his wife and Amanda his mistress. This... ridiculous notion to wed them both just means nothing will change. I have watched them use you for too long, and I cannot be a part of it any longer.”

“Use me...?”

“I regret my wife was the one to plant this notion in the Mayor's head, but I had hoped that when nothing was said over the last week since our dinner together that you had acted with sense. She doesn't love you, my friend, and whatever ridiculousness is between you and Nolan he will still choose her over you every single time.”

“...I know.”

“And you would still wed them? You would condemn yourself to being an outsider in your own home?” Shaking his head. “Come and live with me, Meh. My home and my people are at your disposal. Nolan and Amanda can have the house, I will gift it to them with my blessing. Come be respected and cherished as you deserve.”

“...I can't.” Looking down at the table. “I love her and I love him. It's not the same sort of love, but it's love all the same.”

“They don't deserve your loyalty and love. They don't deserve  _ you.” _

“And I don’t deserve my kids. Or to be alive if we’re being friggin’ honest. If we only got what we deserved, I think we’d all be poorer for it. I know I would.” 

“Then...there is nothing more for me to say.” Rising quickly. “ I hope one day you will see that I did this for you.” Touching her cheek, he leaves.

Meh drinks her tea.

#####

Nolan returns with the kids from school. Meh is in her workroom slowly packing things up when he arrives. Her greeting is a bit subdued, and he hangs back once the kids pile into the kitchen to find snacks. 

“So, how was your day?”

“Uneventful. Samir is proving capable of handling Defiance’s many crotchety old ladies and managed to successfully get through the simulation twice without killing me. I started packing things up for the move. I got a chirp from the plumber we’re using on the new house, and all the new lines and connected appliances have been installed. Oh, and Datak refuses to officiate the wedding, so whoever you and Amanda want is fine. It's really your wedding anyways.” As though it's not important.

“What? Why?” Surprised.

“I don’t want to talk about it. And no, that isn’t code for keep digging. I genuinely mean that this conversation is over.”

A long pause. “...ok.” Clearing his throat. “Can I get you anything?”

“More boxes. They’re down in the backroom of the clinic.”

“You got it.” He leaves, and calls Alak on the hailer. He’s staying at the clinic, but raise him on the hailer if anything comes up. He then spends the afternoon helping the kids (really just supervising) them through their homework and then helping pull out something for them to keep themselves occupied with. Meh continues to work silently and methodically putting away her things into boxes. When Irisa gets there, he gives her specific instructions, goes to kiss Meh (who barely acknowledges his presence) and heads to town hall. 

She’s in her office, wrapping things up, when he comes in.

“Change of plans.” Grabbing her coat from its hook. “I need to go see Datak Tarr, and you’re coming with me.”

“Why?”

“To stop me from beating the shtako out of him and ending up behind bars.”

“Nolan, what-?”

“He hurt Meh. I don’t know what he said, beyond the fact that he refused to marry us, because she won’t talk about it. So I’m going to the source, and I need you to come with me.” The anger is apparent in every line of his body, and she realizes with a start that if he’s this upset Doc must be really hurt. Which makes her angry too. 

“Alright.” Putting the files down, and accepting her coat. “Why is beating Datak a problem?”

“Because Meh would get even more upset, and that’s the last thing I want. But I  _ will _ find out what happened.”

“Then let’s go.”

-090-

Irisa makes dinner, and looks up when Meh enters the room. The kids mob her a bit, and she sits with them asking about their day and holding on to them a bit more than usual. Finally she looks around and asks Irisa, “Where’s Nolan and Amanda? Weren’t they coming tonight?”

“...out.” Evasive. “Town business...stuff.” She isn’t a good unprepared liar.

Immediately suspicious. “What sort of stuff?”

-090-

Datak answered the summons of his servant at a leisurely stroll, his usual smile stretched thin.

“Well,” he said as he caught sight of Nolan’s face. “I never would have thought it possible of our dear Doctor Yewll, but she went running to you, did she?”

“No, she didn’t.” Nolan, cracking his knuckles. “But I had a hunch. Thank you for admitting it, it makes this so much chupping simpler.” Stepping forwards.

“Nolan.” Warning, grabbing his arm.

“Listen to her, Nolan.” Datak, tauntingly. “Wouldn’t want to break your face before the big day.”

“Oh, its not  _ his _ face I’m worried about. But Doc likes you, and whatever the hell happened we’re not here to make it worse. Just tell us what happened so we can try to fix it.”

“I was honest with my friend. If she did not like what I had to say, then perhaps it is because I am  _ right _ .”

“About what?” Nolan hotly.

“I do not believe it is in Meh’s best interest to marry the pair of you, and my refusal to perform the ceremony is an act of protest. You’ve used my friend enough, and if you had  _ any _ honor-”

“ _ Used _ her? The  _ chup _ are you-”

“Yes,  _ used _ her. Your ‘family situation’ for example, where she cares for the children and you play at being a father when it suits you but never when it would interfere with chupping the Mayor-”

“Ok, that’s enough-” Amanda, red-faced.

“It was  _ her _ idea!” Nolan, over top of them.

“A true parent does not leave his partner to shoulder the burdens of parenthood alone while they reap all the joys!”

“Oh, and  _ you’re _ one to lecture me on fatherhood!”

“Well, at least I never held the good doctor down to  _ steal a piece of skin from her. _ Which, I might add, saved the life of the very Omec who then went on to enslave her. And you might recall, that enslavement was only possible because she  _ saved you and your daughter  _ at the request of  _ her. _ ” Pointing at Amanda. Taking a deep breath, calming himself. “Did you ever apologize for that? Go check on her later? Perhaps send a thank you card, or a get well soon bundle of flowers? Don’t bother with excuses, because I already know the answer. You did  _ nothing.”  _ Another deep breath, more silence. He wipes his mouth. “I could name a dozen instances over the years where you have not dealt with my friend as fairly as you claim. Where she has been forced to hide and lie, because she knew the truth would not bring justice, and when she has been punished for protecting this town and the people in it because you did not agree with her methods. You have taken advantage and taken for granted her brilliance and her heart, and I am  _ sick  _ of it. Given your actions, including those since your supposed ‘trip through space’, I cannot believe you will treat her any differently once you are wed. And so, I will not officiate the marriage of someone so near and dear to my heart to two humans who have treated her as less than she deserves.” Straightening his vest. “Now, unless you have an actual reason worth my time to be here: leave. This conversation is done.”

“...we’ll go.” Amanda, quietly. “Thank you for your time.”

“My pleasure.” Darkly, with a grimace.

Nolan is tuat with fury, but allows himself to be towed out even as he says, “This is not chupping over, Tarr!”

“Yes, you poorly disguised ape, it is.”

Once on the street, Amanda drops his arm and wraps her own tightly about herself. Nolan notices her face for the first time.

“Don’t listen to him.” Leading the way to the roller.

“He’s right.” Amanda as she gets in. “I’ve never apologized for any of it. Or if I did, I...I didn’t really mean it. And even though things have changed, I just...swept it away like it didn’t matter. I asked her to  _ marry _ us and we-” 

“Then go apologize. If it makes you feel better, I mean. But trust me, Doc’s already let go of it.”

“Have you? Apologized?”

“Yeah. And so did she. It took nearly a year and a half, but we finally stopped demanding answers from each other. We just wiped the slate clean for each other and moved on. Fresh start. Things got a lot easier after that.”

“Do you think I need to apologize?”

“I think you need to do whatever it is that’s going to give you peace.” Hands tightening on the steering wheel. “Especially since I can’t.”

“He’s right, Nolan.”

“He’s also a smug bastard, and I want to turn his face to pulp.” More quietly. “He hurt Meh. I don’t care if he thinks he was helping her, he’s supposed to be her friend and he hurt her, and...I’m chupping pissed.”

Amanda just stares at him for a long time. 

“What?”

“...I need to talk to Meh when we get back.”

“If that’s what you feel you need to do-”

“I do.”

“Ok.”

-090-

Meh walked the streets of Defiance, without fear in the fading evening light. Her face was known to pretty much everyone, and she carried nothing of value on her person. It's a long walk to the Hollows, but it feels good to stretch her legs and work off some of her restless energy.

At Datak’s door she pauses, feeling foolish. She doesn’t want to see him, and she can tell that wherever Amanda and Nolan are, they aren’t here now. She turns to go. Datak is standing behind her.

“They’ve come and gone.”

“Friggin’ hell!”

“Sorry. I forgot how jumpy you can be.” A small, smug smirk as he watches her unnecessarily straighten her clothes and pretend she didn’t just nearly jump out of her skin. 

“I’m still mad at you.” Searching his face.

“No, Nolan didn’t hit me if that’s what you’re wondering. He didn’t even take a swing, which is far more restraint than I expected him to show.”

“I didn’t send them.”

“I know. It was the first thing they said.” Cocking his head to the side. “Why are you here? Unless you’ve changed your mind?” Hopeful.

“No, just making sure Nolan didn’t burn any bridges. Again.”

“No. He and Amanda listened to mey...explanation, and left. They weren't happy, but to be fair neither was I. I still am not.”

“I’m going to marry them. They’re...important to me.”

“Then I’m still refusing to do the ceremony.” A pause. “I’m sorry. It pains me to know I’ve caused you distress.” Touching her arm.

She pats his hand after a moment’s pause. “It happens. That’s life. I was pissed before, but I get it. I also reserve the right to bring it up any time you ask me for a favor for the rest of your life. I need to head back...”

“Let me take you in my roller, it will be much quicker.”   
  


“No thanks, I’m good with walking.”

“Then I’ll walk with you.” Matching stride for stride in the growing dark. “Did you know Alak is looking up Irathient marriage rights and customs?”

“I didn’t.”

“Might want to give Nolan a heads up. I don’t want him attacking my son because of a simple surprise. He is very easily provoked.”

“Hmph. Yeah, I can do that. Perhaps you should suggest he remember that she was mostly raised among humans? Some of the more...traditional ones will probably not be welcomed.”

“You mean like the custom some tribes have of throwing bloody, freshly-killed meat at the domicile of the intend to signify their ability to provide food so well they can afford to waste it in a show of wealth?”

“Yes, like that one.”

“Noted.”

“There’s something else you need to know too.”

“Oh goody.” Dryly. “What new jekking atrocity shall we add to the pile, hm?”

“I’m performing the ceremony of (soul self in indojisnen) with Nolan.”

“...no.” His mind quickly fitting all the pieces together. “No. No! You can’t-”

“We are. It's happening. ....I’m sorry.”

“...my protest stands.”

“I know.”

-090-

Amanda gets diverted on the way back to town hall for city business. They’re late getting back, and they get upstairs and are greeted by a frazzled Iriza and four wild kids.

“Where’s Doc?” Amanda.

“She isn’t with you?”

Explain explain explain. Shtako. Doc forgot her hailer, so no one can raise her.

“I have to go find her,” Nolan, putting his coat back on and pulling out his hailer. “Chirp me if she makes it back.”

He’s halfway down the stairs when he hears, “What’s the rush?”

It's Meh, at the bottom, looking quizzical.

“There you are!” Rushing the rest of the way down to catch her in a hug. “You left your hailer- where were you?!”

“Nolan!” Feet off the ground. “Put! Me!  _ Down! _ ” He does. “...thank you.”

“What happened?” Worried parent demanding.

“I’m fine. I went to Datak’s place, to try and stop you from going to prison. He walked me back, and we parted ways at the NeedWant.” Shrugging. Fixing her clothes. “Nothing to worry about.”

“I was still worried.” Putting her hailer in her hands. “And stop leaving that behind.”

“Right.” Pocketing it. “So...Datak said he told you everything.”

“I’d say so, yeah.” Scowling. “Asshole.”

“Great, because this isn't complicated enough already.” Grumbling. “How’s Amanda taking it?”

“About as well as can be expected.” Uncomfortable.

“Not well. Even better!” Crossing her arms. “Maybe I’ll just hide out in the clinic tonight.”

“The kids want to see you. I think they’re worried.”

“Well, if they weren’t before they are now the way you came charging out that door.” Teasing.

“ _ I _ was worried!” Defensive. 

“I’m a big girl.”

“Never said you weren’t.” Under his breath.

“Are you calling me fat?” Pointed. 

“Glad to see the sass is back. Sort of.”

“Well, you know, you’re such an easy target...”

They walk inside. Nolan, “Kids, look who I found!”

They get mobbed. It's also a bath night, so it's fairly late before she has even more than a minute to breathe, let alone talk. Irisa, being exhausted, goes to lay down with them to sleep, and Meh cleans up the dishes at the counter. Irisa is not a terrible cook, but she tends to burn things to the pan a little. So it's a bit more scrubbing than usual. Nolan is walking Kai, feeding her a big bottle in hopes they’ll get four hours of sleep straight tonight. She’s on solids mostly, but the bottle before bed helps a little. Amanda sidles up and picks up the drying towel, taking a deep breath.

“Ifi this is about what Datak said,” Meh, quickly and quietly. “I don’t agree with him, and I don’t blame you or hold a grudge for anything that happened. So, can we just...skip the rest of this conversation?”

“No,” Amanda, softly. “Because that actually makes it worse.”

“...I’m sorry?”

Amanda snorts. “And even more worse. Worser? Is that a word?” Shaking her head. “And now I’m just avoiding-...I’m sorry. For...everything. And-”

“I forgive you.” Simple and firm. Glancing at her sideways.

“...you don’t want to hear the rest?”

“I don’t need to hear the rest.” Handing her a clean plate. Amanda dries it.

“Why?”

“Because I want my mistakes forgotten as much as you want yours.” Hands her another dish. “And since your mistakes don’t include attempted genocide, _ twice _ , I still think I’m getting the better end of the deal. Some might even argue that by the human rules of karma, it was no less than I deserved.”

“You didn’t deserve that.”

“Debatable.” Smirking.

“No, you didn’t.” Putting a hand on her wrist. It's bare for once, because she’s doing the dishes. Doc immediately looks down at the hand on her wrist, going still. Amanda follows her look a moment later, and doesn’t snatch her hand back but does remove it carefully.

Doc takes a breath. “So...are we still getting married or has Datak scared you off? He’s an idiot, but...I think he means well.”

“Do you want to get married?”

“I want to save Nolan.” Sincerely. “And right now the only viable plan is to perform brain surgery and get hitched. If you’re game, so am I.” Hands her the final pan. Drains the sink, rinses her dishcloth. 

“...ok. Then we'll perform brain surgery and get hitched.” Small smile. Meh looks away, busying herself with the sink. 

So when Amanda sets the dish down and goes to hug her, she’s unprepared and stiffens up. Amanda immediately lets go and backs off.

“Well, this is going to take some work, isn’t it?” Trying to joke. 

“Uh...yeah.” Looking away, embarrassed. In Indojisnen. “It doesn’t help you’re friggin’  _ gorgeous _ -” 

“Do you want me to translate that?” Nolan, also in Indojisnen. “It might help.”

“NO.”

“So...what can I do to help?” Amanda, when the silence begins to stretch too long. 

“I don’t...I don’t have an answer for that.” 

“You could always dance with her.” Nolan, trying not to grin. “Amanda, did you know Doc can waltz?”

Amanda perks up as Meh gives Nolan an unreadable look. “Really? I mean, it's been a few years and I don’t think I ever learned how to lead but we can certainly try.”

“I can lead.” Still looking at Nolan who just shrugs. “I just didn’t expect Nolan to allow me to dance with you first before he got the chance to try.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m  _ much  _ better than he is.”

“You can waltz?” Disbelieving to Nolan. 

“That is chupping insulting.” Nolan, from his seat. Kai is asleep in his arms, and the bottle is eaten. “I’m going to lay Kai down.”

Meh waits until he’s closing the door to say, “He asked to learn in space to impress you. Also because it was one of the few ways he could touch me without feeling creepy or forced. So if you want to wait and dance with him first I’ll understand because that wasn’t an idle boast: I’m much better at leading than he is.”

“I think I’ll survive the difference,” holding out her hand to Doc. “Unless there’s some other reason you don’t want to dance with me?”

“...none that I can think of.”

Amanda wonders if she’s starting to see the shape of Doc’s partial lies. Allows her hand to be taken all the same. 

There is no music, but Meh’s never needed it to keep a beat. Her hands are gentle but firm as they lead Amanda through the steady count of three. The space is small, but you don’t need much if you know how to weave the steps around each other. And Doc, apparently, does. The double turn has Amanda briefly wondering if she’s about to crash into a wall or a chair, but once more Doc proves to know precisely what she’s doing and Amanda has to admit the effect is...mesmerizing. 

When Doc stops, Amanda almost stumbles into her, breathing a little hard.

“You alright, legs?” Worried. “Sorry, was that too-”

“No, no, just...it’s been awhile.” Carefully letting go, fighting the flush threatening to rise in her cheeks. “...we should do that again sometime.” Before she’s really thought about it.

“Are you sure?” Frowning. “You don’t look-”

“Yes. Just...not right after I’ve stuffed myself with dessert.”

“Ah. Yeah, those fruit tarts will get ya.” Awkward. Clears her throat. “So...thank you. For the dance. You’re a good follow.”

“I had an excellent lead.” Smiling in spite of herself. “Where did you learn how to waltz?”

“Uh...I picked it up as part of my indoctrination into Earth things.” Shrugs, looking away. “Not because I had to but just because I liked it. The repetition, but also the creativity within the repetition. Endless cycles that can still be unique.” Swinging her finger in a looping circle to make a flower to demonstrate. 

Finish this out somehow. Nolan comes out, and while things are not totally fixed Doc at least doesn’t jump when Amanda hugs her goodnight. 

It's a start. 

-090-

The brain surgery. 

It's a success! Nolan and Meh are now distantly aware of each other again, as well as their respective moods (sort of). They do not tell Amanda just how much overlap there is, and Meh quickly gets practice on ‘muffling’ her end when Nolan and Amanda get busy. 

-090-

Add a scene discussing what is wrong with Kai, a genetic condition that causes rapid growth. The longer it lasts, the shorter her lifespan. If there’s a cure, Meh doesn’t know of it. All they can do is wait and hope. Meh does put out some feelers amongst her known associates in the medical community, but nothing specific and with very little hope of a response. Does not tell the others. 

-090-

It began as a sort of a joke. 

“Your beloved is waiting for you,” Meh had said in Indojisnen one morning blah blah blah.

“My beloved?”

“She is, isn't she?”

“I mean, yeah, I just...”

“She recognized her name in Indojisnen. Your beloved seemed an appropriate replacement unless you want her to know how often we talk about her.”

“...beloved it is.”

“Your beloved.”

“Nah, just beloved.” Grinning.

Nolan keeps it up for weeks until Meh slips up.

“Irisa has the kids,” she said as she stirred the pot. “And beloved....I mean, your beloved, she-”

“No. Just beloved.”

Your-”

“No.”

“She's in love with you.”

“Doesn't mean you don't love her.”

“... beloved is working late on those permits.”

“Ok. I'll go get the kids as soon as I'm cleaned up. Will you have something ready for me to drop off on the way for beloved?”

“Yeah, five minutes.”

“Ok.”

And...it stuck.

####

Datak agrees to attend the wedding, and that he can’t stop Meh from doing whatever it is she wishes to and that he wishes to support her even though he can’t do precisely what she asks him to. She accepts it, call back to ‘there are two types of friends, those who will help you bury a dead whore and me.’

-090-

Colt helping fix a broken-down roller, because he’s good at working with his hands. Nolan is impressed, and whoever the roller belongs to is grateful. Colt is still late for school, and that has its own problems. 

-090-

Doc discussing the possibility of Alak and Irisa getting married with Nolan. 

-090-

Richard asking Nolan some pointed questions about Amanda and Meh. And how relationships work. He’s surprisingly down with the idea of them getting married, and all living together soon. 

-090-

Move in day for the new house! Go through the rooms, and the overall set-up. Amanda waits until everyone is moved in before bringing her first overnight bag with her. A few things she’ll leave behind for unplanned sleepovers. 

-090-

This time when Amanda gets her period, she makes use of Doc’s gift. And Doc gets a gift of her own. Also Amanda is cuddlier on her period, and Doc just sort of...allows it? Recognizes it as a side-effect of the normal physical cycles for a human female, and acts like she doesn’t mind nor does she care one way or another. 

-090-

The usual outdoor dance. Doc is free for once, and attends with Amanda and the kids. Watlzes with Amanda, and garners some attention for doing so. She is asked by a few fellows afterwards to dance, and she turns them down. Then she’s asked by a woman. Married, a patient she’s known for awhile. Husband can’t dance, missing leg. Doc accepts, and it becomes a thing. Other women ask Doc to dance, and she almost always obliges. Amanda tries not to be jealous, which is ridiculous because she has nothing to be jealous about. She still makes a point of taking the last dance before they head home. 

Nolan teases her about it on the way home. Also, they have the person doing the ceremony settled on. Council member who is in good standing with the community. Everything is more or less set.

-090-

“Nolan gets to wear a suit. Why can’t I wear a suit?” Meh grumbled as she let herself be towed up the stairs of the NeedWant to the second floor. It was far too early for more than a small handful of patrons and workers to be about, but she caught more than one speculative glance her direction and sighed. Oh, she wished she was heading upstairs for a quickie with the soon to be wife. Instead she was about to be tortured, and not in a good way.

“Nolan is a guy,” Amanda replied as she dragged her into her bedroom and closed the door behind themselves. “You are decidedly not. I have a dress, he has a suit, and we need to find something for you to wear to match.”

“And we’re going to find it in your closet?”

“You just need to pick a style and color, and Favi Gorthan will take care of the rest.”

“She’s handsy, by the way. I’m fairly sure she copped a feel while she was measuring me.”

“And you could tell through the fifteen layers you’re wearing?” Teasing.

“You’d be surprised what I can feel through my fifteen layers.” Rolling her eyes. 

Amanda starts laying out dresses, and while several of them are beautiful they all have one thing in common: they all show far too much skin. Meh basically says ‘heck no, we won’t go’, and while Amanda is disappointed on this one point Meh digs in her heels. They agree on a variation of something Meh already wears, and head out. 

On the way out, back to work, someone quips, “That was quick.”

Meh doesn’t miss a beat. “I’m a doctor, efficiency is my speciality.”

Amanda winks. 

Rumors, rumor, rumors.

-090-

Meh gets what she wants, and early in the morning on the day of the wedding she’s putting the final touches on her makeup when there’s a pounding on her door. Irisa kept the kids, Doc is getting ready at her old clinic (last time she’s there before Samir takes over) and Amanda at the NeedWant and Nolan at his place. She goes to answer it. Samir grabs her and yanks her down the steps.

“Hey!”

“Collapse at the mine!” he called back over his shoulder as they cleared the last step and turned towards the open door of the clinic. “At least six severely wounded, the rollers are already incoming, and-”

“Got it.” All business. She gets past him and starts to hurry through getting prepped. “Call in our back ups, we’ve got work to do!”

-090-

It was hours later when Meh exited the surgical bay, finding Nolan and Amanda waiting for her to the side both filthy and exhausted. He’s in his suit, and it's ruined. She’s not in her dress, but her hair is a mess and she’s clearly been helping as well. Meh glances down at herself. She took off the top jacket of her dress and threw on one of her work coats but the bottom third is completely ruined. Castithan, human and irathient blood is the worst sort of rainbow tie dye. 

Nolan’s the one to start laughing, but it's infectious and soon they’re all leaning against each other barely able to breathe.

“Only in Defiance,” Amanda chuckled weakly, putting her head on Meh’s shoulder. It doesn’t feel as awkward as it once would have. 

“Y’know, we can still get married.” Nolan. “Just put on our regular clothes, go find _____, get the kids and Irisa and just get it over with.”

“...I guess.” Amanda, disappointed.

“We can reschedule.” Meh quietly. “Rhynne’s keeping an eye out for us in the badlands, so we’ll have a week or two heads up before the VC arrives. There’s no need-”

“No, I want to get married today.” Amanda, taking both their hands. “Besides, it’ll make a good story someday.”

“Ok, then. Let’s get crackin’.” Nolan.

They go clean up and change. Meh goes for the kids, and Amanda for a few others. Nolan gets _____. Except _____ is passed out drunk at the NeedWant. Someone important to them was severely injured or killed in the collapse.

“Well...shtako.”

“Something wrong, lawkeeper?” Datak, at the bar. He’s a mess too. Everyone helped.

“Oh, just tryin’ to get married and everything going wrong.”

“Perhaps you should take it as a sign.” Mildly.

“Still on that soapbox? I thought you got over it.”

“Enough to attend the wedding. Not enough to approve.”

“What would it take for you to do it?”

“There is nothing you could offer me that would entice me to do so.” 

“Nothing?” holding his arms out. “Chup, Datak, I don’t need you to do it for it to happen. But it would mean so much to Meh if you did. I want her to be happy, and I want this day to be special for her too. So get the chup over yourself and name your chupping price.”

-090-

“We’re on!” Nolan, hurrying into the townhall room where everyone is waiting. “Someone turn on the radio.”

“What-?”

“Just trust me. Quick!”

It's an old eighties rock ballad. At the end, Alak Tarr says, “And now an important town announcement.”

_ This is Councilman Datak Tarr, with some very important news. Today was to be a big day for our community, a wedding to join our beloved Mayor, brave Lawkeeper and brilliant Doctor as one. Their day was interrupted by a collapse at the mine, and like the fearless leaders they are, they did not hesitate to drop everything and rush to those in need. Lawkeeper Nolan headed up the rescue efforts, mayor Rosewater contacted the families of those injured to provide comfort and aid, and the amazing Doctor Yewll saved no less than six lives on her operating table. They gave of themselves selflessly, as they have time and again, and it is time we gave back. I therefore invite you, Defiance, to come to the city square in one hour where we will publically join these heroes in holy matrimony and celebrate not only the start of a new family, but a day of heroism, sacrifice and unity. Food and drink will be available for everyone who attends afterwards, and the music and dancing will not stop until tomorrow at dawn! Defiance! _

  
“...I mean, it's not the ceremony we planned,” Nolan admitted with a shrug. “But it’ll be a hell of a party afterwards.”

“And we all know how much I love parties And crowds. And people staring at me.” Dryly.

“Yeah but...Datak’s going to do the ceremony. And this was his price.”

“A spectacle to appeal to his ego.” Amanda, crossing her arms. “Well, at least he’s footing the bill-”

“That’s the spirit!”

“There’s no way that was his whole price.” Meh to Nolan in indojisnen. 

“Don’t ask.” A quick hug. “I did it for you.”

“...thanks.”

“There you are,” Stamah, coming in and taking charge because you don’t get one Tarr without the rest. “Come, we have much to do and less than an hour to do it!”

-090-

The kids stood up on the stage with Irisa just as had been originally planned, boys on one side and girls on the other. They’re all sort of matchy matchy dressed up. Alak is to the side, doing the music. The cue is given and the crowd quiets down. The music begins. 

Its Van Halens Can’t stop loving’ you

Meh leans around Amanda to look at Nolan. He grins back. 

“At least it's not Johnny Cash.” Meh.

“Show time, ladies.” Amanda, tugging on their arms.

They walk down the aisle together, through the massive crowd gathered in the square. When they reach the stage, Nolan hands them both up before following behind. Alak lowers the music to just the quiet buzz in the background. Datak takes the mic on a slightly raised portion of the stage. 

For him, he keeps it short. Vows are said, rings exchanged. 

‘By the power vested in me by the City of Defiance, I declare you husband and wives. You may kiss your spouses. It was originally meant to be skipped, but Amanda saves the day. Kisses one, then the other. The crowd erupts. They’re mobbed by kids. 

“Let’s celebrate! The food and drink are open to all, courtesy of the Tarr family on behalf of the new family!” Datak, before stepping down. The new family is absorbed into the crowd. Meh keeps a hold of Kai and Irisa Becca. Colt ends up on Nolan’s shoulders, and Richard has Amanda’s hand. For a good 30 minutes, they’re the focus of everyone and Doc is surprised by how many people congratulate her as much as Nolan and Amanda. They are brought food by Datak and Stamah who also have a table set aside for them. The kids enjoy kabobs and hot, bubbly pies. Meh holds Kai and sips her tea, and Datak settles in next to her smug as a cat in the cream.

“If I asked you what it cost Nolan, would you tell me?” Curious.

“No. But I will say...he impressed me. I honestly didn’t think he would go that far for you.”

“And now you’ve changed your mind?”

“Now I’m...cautiously optimistic that it won’t end in tears and weeping.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Also for the kiss.” Winking.

She rolls her eyes, but smirks ever so slightly.

Alak and Irisa dance on by. It's very Votan. 

“May I have this dance?” It's Richard, smiling widely.

“Of course.” Very seriously. They do a simple left-right on the edge of the crowd. Nolan sees them and perks up. Leaning over to Amanda. 

“I know we’re pretty tired but do you think you’re up to a dance?”

“Yes.” Surprised. “Why?”

“Hold that thought.” Getting up and chasing Alak down.

“Hey, c’mere.”

“Lawkeeper Nolan~” Voice high. “I was just, uh, we were-”

“Don’t care. It's my wedding day, mazel tov! Do you happen to have.....?”

“Uh...yeah, yeah of course.”

“Play it in five minutes, ok?”

“You got it.” heading off.

“Sorry, kiddo.”

“It’s ok, there’s always later.” Smiling. “Working on a surprise for your wife?”

“For both of them.” Grinning like a little boy, he heads off to Meh. 

“Hey, do you remember-?”

“The whole point of which was to impress  _ Amanda _ when we got back.” Waving a hand. “So go ahead if you want.”

“Well, yes...but I have something else in mind.”

Whisper, whisper, whisper.

Nolan sends Richard off to fetch Amanda, and wait with her nearby. The mayor is curious, and asmused. Velvet Waltz by Built to Spill comes on, and as soon as it starts she sees Nolan take up Meh’s arm. He’s a little stiff, but settled in quickly. A small space opens up around them, but most people don’t seem to notice. They move towards her after a minute or two, and when Nolan spins Doc out, Doc is the one to reach for Amanda and pull her into a perfectly timed step. 

Meh looks smug. 

“Could you be any more smug?”

“Oh yes, I could. Nolan mastered the basics, but anything past a simple spin is beyond him. It would be very easy to show him up-...but I won’t.”

Listening to the lyrics. “This isn’t the most romantic song.”

“No, so it was the perfect song to waltz to with Nolan, alone in space.” Spinning her in a slow arc. 

Amanda realizes this is something that was just them, and are sharing it with her. So smoothly she doesn’t realise it's happening, she spins Amanda into Nolans’ arms and takes up with Richard instead.

Nolan smiles as he holds her close. “Surprised?”

“I am.” Smiling back. “But...”

“She’s better than me, I know.” Rolling his eyes. “She is the one who taught me, so...”

“Why would she teach you to dance?” Though she knows what Meh said, she’s never asked for Nolan’s side. 

“I caught her waltzing a few times. Repetition helps her think sometimes, and the waltz is very repetitive. Me being the mature individual I am, I tried to make fun of her for it. So she asked, can I waltz? Of course not. That’s for wussies in suits. And she goes, ‘That’s too bad. Amanda likes to waltz.’”

“So you asked her to teach you.”

“No, my stubborn ass tried to figure it out alone. Finally, she took pity on me and showed me how it was done. After that, it was just one of those things we did sometimes, to pass the time.”

Kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

The song ends, and they walk for the dance floor. Run into Alak dancing with Irisa, Luke, Becca and Kai. 

“Where’s the boys?”

“With Meh.”

Kai yawns.

“I think it's time to get some kids to bed.” Nolan.

“I’m not sleepy!” Becca.

“Well, I am.” Amanda, picking her up. “We had a very big day today.”

“Because you got married!”

“Yes, I did!” Smiling at Nolan. 

“You sure you don’t want us to take the kids tonight?” Irisa.

“Yeah,” Nolan. “They’ve got school tomorrow.”

“I don’t think there’ll be school tomorrow.” Pointing to the teacher, who is partying hard.

“Maybe not. We’ll still keep them with us.” Goodbyes all around, head off to find Meh. She’s at the table, holding Colt’s hair back as he pukes in a bowl.

“What’s wrong?” Nolan.

“Too much pie,” Meh replied calmly. “He’ll feel better once he’s finished.”

“Ah, bud, I thought we moved past that.” Crouching by the boy.

“They were just...so good...” Groaning, puking again. Becca gags.

“Amanda, can you take the girls back?” Nolan, straightening up. “Meh and I will bring the boys once Colt is done.”

“Don’t be silly, Colt and I will be fine.” Meh.

“Mom?” Colt.

“He’s not feeling well.” Nolan.

“Mom?” Colt.

“We’re fine.” Meh. “Go with Amanda and the girls.”

“Mom?” Colt, plaintive.

“I can’t-”

“Yes, Colt?” Amanda, overriding them both.

“I’m done.”

“Good, then we’ll go home together.”

Meh takes Kai, and Nolan picks Colt up. Someone else deals with the puke. They go home.

-090-

Clean up Colt and get kids to bed. In the quiet of their room, Amanda apologizes but she’s too tired. He is too. So he suspects is Doc. She goes to lay down, and he goes to find Meh.

Meh is in her workroom, organizing some things. Glances up. “Done alright? Do we need to have an uncomfortable but hilarious chat about premature ejaculation?”

“Ha ha. You’re coming to bed.”

“Nope. Not until the newly weds have it all out of their system. Go on.”

“You are a newlywed too, and you’re just as tired as we are. Between the surgeries and the wedding, I’m surprised you’re still vertical. Come to bed.”

“You promise there’s no boom-chicka-whaa-whaaaa happening?”

“No. Amanda is probably already asleep.” Around yawn.

“...ok.”

He pulls her up, and they walk together to the bedroom. Meh takes her outer layers off, planning to wear the inner layer to bed. Amanda is already in the middle, Nolan takes the far side and Meh the one closest to the door. She can smell Amanda on her pillow, and hear Nolan snoring softly on the other side of the room. It's...perfect. Well, as close as she was going to get. 

This is the first time the three of them sleep in the bed together, before this point one of three has always been missing for one reason or another. 

-090-

Figure out the next morning, and how they wake up. They were supposed to get a few days together before things started again, but the collapse derails that. Meh goes in to check on her patients, and has to reopen one of them to fix some additional damage. Amanda has to meet with the CMO to discuss things. The fact that they aren’t slacking on their job for personal time impresses a lot of people. Something about Meh visiting Amanda in her office before lunch, and Nolan afterwards. The office gets a new nickname that it absolutely doesn’t deserve. 

Life goes on.

-090-

A story about the bedtime routines with four kids. Figure out how big Kai is at this point. Apparently about the size of a 2 year old. 

-090-

It was a near daily occurrence now, and one Amanda looked forward to, Meh enjoyed and Nolan was a bit envious of if they were all being honest. The doctor would stop by Town Hall, and check to see if the Mayor was free around lunch time. And as she usually was (especially after a chat one day with her assistant about schedules and how they could be rearranged), they would go to the market and decide what to have for dinner that night. 

Amanda would slip an arm through her wife’s, and carry the basket so Meh’s hands would be free to examine the produce, sniff at spices and inspect meat. If it was bread, Amanda picked. She had a knack for finding the best loaves and rolls. Eggs and milk were delivered every few days, and once or twice a week they would pick up a treat from a favored stall. Amanda rarely actually helped prepare the food, but she asked questions about how it would be done, and found herself learning far more about the culinary arts than she ever thought possible. 

Meh holds those moments tight in her mind, at night, when she can smell the sex on them and she sees them curled up together fast asleep. 

_ Endure _ .

-090-

Figure out what parts of the Castithan and Irathient cultures would be the most important to pass on. I’m a little bit bored with this part, as it would probably mean lots of research. 

-090-

The Spirit Riders had no set schedule, but Irisa was not surprised when Rynn’s group rolled into town a week after the wedding. It was about the time they usually needed fresh supplies. 

Rynn greets Irisa, who says she has someone she wants her to meet. Takes her to the Rosewater/Nolan/Yewll household. It's a Saturday.

Amanda happens to walk out with Becca, Colt and Richard. Irisa introduces her as their ‘stepmother’. Rynn congratulates her, and asks who the lucky man is.

Doc walks out. Kissing the kids and Amanda, says there’s an emergency and don’t wait up for me. Sees Rynn.

“Is it the eye?”

“No, I am here to meet Colt and Becca. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” To the kids. “Mind your manners, and listen to (whatever they call Amanda. Indogene for beloved?)”

“Call if you’re going to miss dinner.’

“I will.” Hurries away.

Rynn, to Irisia in Irathient. “She married the Doctor?”

“Yes.” Smiling a bit.

“I would have guessed your father-”

Nolan walks out with Kai and a bag. “All set, let’s go. Rynn.”

“Lawekeeper Nolan.”

“He married her too.”

Rynn considers this. “Well played, Mayor Rosewater,” she says gravely. “It is clear your people have chosen wisely.”

“Uh...thank you.”

Goodbyes, then Irisa explains some things. Some tribes think multiple spouses for a leader means they are especially strong because they would not keep so many if they were not sexually capable. She’s grinning the whole way through.

Amanda is bright red, and Nolan is grinning. 

“O...oh.”

And they head over to the new playground, courtesy of the Tarrs.

-090-

Doc is working when Nolan comes in, a wide smile on his face and a bounce in his steps.

“Got a present for you, Doc,” he called through the curtain.

“I'm working,” she called back, not looking up from her patient. “What is it?”

“I can't tell you. You have to come and see. It's in the back of the roller ”

“Then it can wait.”

“Doc...”

“Men.” Grumbling to herself. Samir and the patient both smile. “Always so demanding...Samir, can you-?”

“Yeah, I've got this.” Taking over. “Wouldn't want to keep your husband waiting.”

It was still strange to hear those words.  _ Her husband. _ She had a husband. Married to a man. A man and a gorgeous woman, to be exact, but still....that there was a man in the mix took some getting used to.

“Alright, you have my attention,” she said as she followed him out the door. “What was so important you-”

Nolan popped open the back of the roller. 

Meh's mouth fell open. “Wh-....but how-?”

“Found it growing in T'evgin's old workroom in the mines. The men are going to move into that section soon, and asked me to give it a once over to be sure there were no dangerous surprises still lurking in the shadows.”

“Holy Christmas.”

It's a bush, covered in bright orange berries. Doc touches one. 

“They're almost ripe.”

“I know.” Wide smile. “Which means...we can now officially celebrate your  _ birthday _ .”

“Is that what we're going to call it now?” Giving him a sidelong glance but still smiling. 

“Well....it'll be easier to explain than 'the day no fucks were given’,” he replied under his breath.

“That's true.”

“There's going to be enough to share, right?”

“I mean...yes.” Thinking. “You mean Amanda.”

“Who else?”

“...ok. I mean, it would be from your part of it, so...” Shrugging. “Get it back to the house, and into my workroom. Give it...” Testing the soil. “Maybe half a cup of water. I'll get a bigger pot and whatever else I need to do this right on the way home.” Thinking aloud. “I might have you build me a small shelter on the roof. To keep it away from the kids.”

“You can get on the roof?”

“Of course we can. The trap door is in my workroom, how did you miss it?”

“I don't-”

“And another thing: don't come bursting in like that unless it's an emergency. I do have work to do.”

“I know, I just couldn't wait this time.” Still smiling. “Oh, this is gonna be good-!”

“Maybe. First I have to harvest, and start the process. We'll see how it turns out.”

“Amazing. That's how it's going to be. Chupping a-ma-zing.”

“We'll see.”

####

“So this is what the fuss is about?”

Amanda was not particularly impressed by the ugly, twisted bush with it's bluish leaves and bright orange berries. 

“You don't understand.” Nolan, handing things up the ladder to Meh. “But you will.”

“And what is Meh building on our roof?”

“A still.”

“We have alcohol. More than enough for any sane person to enjoy.”

“But not  _ this  _ alcohol.”

“I thought Meh couldn't drink.”

“I can't.” Called from the top of the ladder. The tubing goes up.

“Then....”

“She can smoke the leaves.” Nolan, grinning. “Takes about as long as fermenting the brandy.”

“Uh.... speaking of which....” Pausing in the doorway. “....you don't remember my recipe, do you?”

“No.”

“...might be a little different, then.”

“I mean, some years were better than others, but it was always.... effective, right?”

“If you mean 'able to make you drunk without making you sick the next day: yes. I think.” Neither of them discuss the missing memories. It hurts too much. 

“Intoxication without consequences is nice.” Amanda, dryly. “But what makes this so special?”

“It’s an Omec thing,” Nolan, shrugging. “That we made our thing. We even named a holiday after it.”

“By which means he did, and I gave up trying to change his mind after about five years,” Meh, accepting the buckets. 

“It was still your idea.” Up the ladder. To Amanda, “The Omec had some alcohol around, but it was strange. And...it didn’t last long. Doc started experimenting with stills as soon as she had fruit and grain growing in the hydro garden. Apparently, I’m not very easy to get along with without some form of...entertainment.”

“If he doesn’t get his relaxation in, he’s a pain in the ass.” Meh, rolling her eyes as she comes down from the roof and closes the trap door behind her. “It’s all under a tarp, so it should be fine until I can get to it.”

“Anyways,” ignoring her. “She’s not very nice without some kind of relaxation either, and alcohol wasn’t an option for her. So I started digging in the archives (once Meh fixed me a drone that could translate the Omec to English) and found  _ this.” _ Motioning to the bush. “Showed it to Meh, she found the seedling in the storage tanks, and several months later we were harvesting our first crop. And then-” He pauses, and it's the face Amanda is coming to recognize as ‘the hole face’. “And then-....uh....” Looking at Meh, who’s face is set. 

“Then we had a bad day,” she supplied carefully.

“...we did?” His face changes as he catches the look in her eyes. “We did. We did. It was...bad. So...”

“So I’d had enough. I didn’t want to care anymore. We’d been working without hardly a break for two years, and nothing more to show for it than, ‘Oh look, we have decent food to eat finally, and the drones are no longer attempting to attack us for going into restricted areas.’ We still had no idea if the direction we were headed in had a possible planet for the Omec, if we could make it that far, if....anything. So I looked at Nolan, told him I had no more fucks to give, and turned everything off.”

Nolan quickly jumping in. “I got the new stuff, rolled her a few smokes up, and declared it a ship-wide holiday.” Pushing onwards. “We laid in bed. I got smashed, she got toasted, and we did absolutely nothing for a solid day and a half. Blew through a month’s worth of work in that time. And when it was done, we got up and kept moving forwards.”

“And so the next time the vine grew a crop of fruit, we made it a thing. A day in which no fucks were given, aka ‘my birthday’.”

“Which you’re planning to celebrate here...how?”

“By paying Irisa to take the kids for a day or two,” Meh, bluntly. “Because I am not stupid.” As though it's an afterthought. “...and you’re invited.”

Nolan, leaning over. “She’s  _ hilarious _ toasted. And it would be nice to spend a day together without the kids, all three of us.”

“How long until...?” 

“At least a few weeks. The plant needs a few days to settle after being repotted, and then after I harvest the berries and leaves a lot of it is based on how humid it is and how warm I can keep everything.” Shrugging. “It shouldn’t be more than a month.”

“Something to look forward to.” Nolan, grinning. 

“I guess so.” Nolan heads off, and Amanda lingers behind.

Meh guesses at why she’s staying. “You don’t have to come if you don't want to.”

“No, no, I....it sounds like it could be fun. I wanted to...he doesn’t remember, does he? The...bad day?”

“I don't think so, no.”

“Are you going to tell him what-”

“No. And I’m not going to tell you either. It's one less nightmare for him, and one memory that I will be grateful for when it's gone.” Very serious, especially for her. “There’s a lot of good memories that I’m going to miss, but I’m not going to tell you the bad because eventually...eventually they’ll be gone, and I don’t want to see them in your eyes when you look at me and Nolan.”

“...alright, I won't ask again.”

####

Becca needs to climb something  _ really  _ high. Her school building? To get a toy that’s stuck! She’s the hero of the kids and the bane of the adults! Nolan is proud, Meh is furious, and Amanda is stuck in the middle. Yay!

-090-

The tension refused to leave Nolan’s shoulder, an invisible weight that seemed to press his broad back down. Meh returned from preparing the body of the dead deputy for burial, and knew the moment she stepped into the house that things had not improved. The person on the other end of the bond is practically vibrating with self-loathing. 

“Are you ok with the kids?” Meh to Amanda.

“Yes. Nolan is-”

“I know, we’ll be back later.” Finding him in the bedroom, drinking. “C’mon cowboy, you’ve got work to do.”

“No I don’t, I took myself off duty.” Pouring himself another drink. Meh takes it away. 

“Family work. For me. You keep promising me we’re going to work on my aim again, and at this rate I’m going to be worse than I was when we got shot into space.”   
  


“You want to go shooting?”

“I have time, you have time, and it's something that needs to be done. That, or you can give up on me being mostly useless with weapons again.”

“...alright. Fine. Let’s go.”

There is something cathartic about unloading clip after clip. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it does make him unwind enough to face it without snapping in half. They return for dinner, and if he’s quiet, he’s at least standing straight again. The death wasn’t his fault, and nothing he could have done would have stopped it. It's a robbery gone wrong, and a young man in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Amanda finds Meh after dinner. “How did you know?”

“Target practice was his favorite way to unwind after difficult days before I figured out how to build a still.” Shaking her head. “Sex would probably help too, but I’m leaving that to you.”

Hugging her. It's less awkward than it would have once been. “Thanks.”

“He’s an idiot, but he’s our idiot. I just did what he needed me to do.”

-090-

Another public dance. Doc is still a popular partner for married women and now a few unmarried women. Amanda is handling her jealousy much better....right up until Doc goes sailing by with Stamah in her arms. That Datak is also on the sidelines frowning should help, but it doesn’t much. She isn’t sure what to do until Nolan tells her to cut in, giving her permission to be sort of rude. So she does, at the very end. Meh says she has nothing to worry about, Amanda says they’ll make it work with anyone...but not Stamah. Doc gets it. Her next partner, however, is a younger irathient and Amanda approves of her. Doc doesn’t. FAR too young for her taste. 

-090-

The stasis net is back up, celebration! More dancing!

-090-

The rebuilding and naming of the new Arch. Sacrifice? Hmm. Also more dancing. Meh has a few women circling her now, attempting to get to know Nolan, Amanda and the kids as well. Figure out who they are in the city, and give everyone a different opinion on which one is right for Doc. Datak encourages this, hoping that if Doc finds someone else to be happy with she’ll give up this ridiculous fascination with Amanda. 

-090-

Amanda walked into the workroom looking for Meh, and noticed the bag. It's the one Nolan gave her the night he brought out their rings. Curiosity makes her pick it up. It’s unusually heavy in her hand, something clinking softly inside. 

“You could have just asked.” Meh, behind her.

Amanda jumps, quickly puts it back down. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have....” Clearing her throat. “What is it?”

“It’s my mother’s wedding bracelet.” Carefully opening the bag to show a linked bracelet of the same metal as their rings. She does not let it touch her skin. “Part of being wed is receiving one, to put the best memories of your life together in it. By tradition, I should have melted it down and had a new one made when I married Lev. But I couldn’t.”

“You were married before Lev?”   
  


“No. Because it was my mother’s. And the last link I have with any of my family.”

“You mentioned your brothers...died in the arkfall.”

“Yes.”

“What about your parents?”

“They were not chosen to come to Earth. Indogenes are nothing if not practical. No one over a certain age was allowed to come, and of those within the age restrictions only the best and the brightest were chosen. My brothers were born to the two indogenes who created most of the technology that made our trip possible.” Closing the bag back up. “They were arkbrain experts. I prefered biology, but was more than proficient in several corresponding sciences.”

“So we’ve noticed.” Watching her put it away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”

“It’s alright.” Shrugging. “Maybe someday I’ll be ready to make a decision about them. Just not right now.” Touching her left hand. “Besides, if I want to look at memories I already have a few good ones tucked away for a rainy day.”

Some sort of interruption, and now Amanda is even more curious than she was before. 

-090-

It was the only thing, really, that made the ugly green monster in her chest rear its head. It wasn’t eht casual arm tucked around Meh’s shoulders that happened at least one day, or the way the doctor was entirely at ease in his partial embrace. It wasn’t the teasing and bickering, though in anyone else it would definitely be flirting. It wasn’t the way they often seemed two steps ahead of everyone else in knowing the other’s mind. 

It was the language. 

Indojisnen. She couldn’t even manage simple phrases, but Nolan somehow got through entire discussions. He told her to ask Meh for help, to be patient if she really wanted to learn. It took him years, supposedly, to get more than a few odd words strung together. And that Meh still mocked him for his shtako accent and inept conjugation. 

Neither seemed to stop them from going back and forth at a rate that left her feeling dizzy. 

She tried to remind herself that there were things she shared with Nolan that Meh had no part of, things that most people would consider far more intimate than words. She tried to tell herself that jealousy was irrational, and that whatever Meh and Nolan shared, it didn’t detract from his times with her. One could argue that since she found their strange friendship endearing and his relationship with the children attractive, that she had never loved him more.

Most days she could believe all that.

But for some reason today, with Nolan holding a sleeping Becca on his shoulder and Meh cradling the snoring Kai in her lap as they murmured back and forth, it was hard to feel anything but left out. Kai still naps every day, a side-effect of her condition. 

“They’re talking about Kai, again,” Richard said from beside her, making her wonder just how much of her thoughts were obvious on her face.

“Oh, ok.”

“Can you tell if it's slowing down yet? Of course I can’t. Enough time hasn’t passed. At this rate she’s going to be an adult before Richard is. That is a very real and distinct possibility.” She realizes he’s translating the conversation as they have it. 

“Richard?”

“That wasn’t entirely accurate,” he added as they went quiet. “But dad’s conjugation is  _ awful _ ... and I’m pretty good at translating what he means. He always makes the same mistakes...”

“Do you think you could teach me?”

“Mom would probably be better.”   
  


“Yeah, but she’s busy. And...we could make it a surprise for everyone else.”

“Alright.” Smiling widely. 

-090-

Doc working on her mash and turning her leaves. 

-090-

Something where Nolan gets horny because Doc is doing something on her end, and tries to get a quickie with Amanda. He’s not as good at blocking it out as she is, that’s the excuse he goes with. Amanda realises Doc is probably acutely aware every single time they...get together. Well...that sucks. Also, they really need to get her a buddy. Nolan is still ‘she’s a big girl who can take care of herself’, but Amanda feels even worse about the whole thing. 

-090-

Amanda lay in the dark alone, telling herself that Nolan would be fine. That he was an experienced soldier, and had not only a group of trusted deputies at his back, but also Rynn and a few of her best hunters. With all of them well-armed and alert, there was little chance of anyone getting hurt. The crazed saberwolf was already injured, this was just to be sure it died before it killed anything else.

She still wasn’t able to sleep.

The door opened quietly, and the Mayor sat up with her heart in her mouth.

Doc paused in the doorway, staring at her. “...did I wake you?” she asked when nothing came forth.

“No, sorry.” Wrapping arms around herself. “I, uh...I can’t sleep. What time is it?”

“11:30,” the indogene said as she came in the rest of the way and shut the door behind herself. “I was going to sleep, just in case...but if you’d rather be alone I can-”

“Please stay.” Quickly. “I can’t stop worrying about Nolan.”

“He’s a big boy,” Meh said as she walked over to her small dresser. “And if he’s careless, Irisa will make sure to get him back in time. He’ll be fine.”

Amanda’s never watched her get ready for sleep before, and doesn’t realize she’s staring. Meh carefully takes off her gloves, then takes her ring and places it almost reverently on top. She then unzips her overcoat, and hangs it on a hook. She takes a second layer off, a tunic like the one she lent to Amanda, and reveals a third underneath that’s sleeveless. Turning around, she catches Amanda staring.

“Careful legs, someone sees you stare like that they might get the wrong idea.”

Amanda blushes, and quickly stammered, “No! I mean, I was just-”

“I know.” Quietly, with her back turned as she takes off her shoes. They’re carefully set to one side. “It’s fine.” She walks into the bathroom through their side door, and water runs for a moment. She comes back with a face clear of makeup. The only light is from the moon filtered through a curtain once the lamp is flicked off, and Amanda wishes she could see better. 

Meh carefully gets into her side of the bed. Amanda moves closer to her.

“He always comes back.” Amanda, trying to convince herself.”

“Yeah, he does,” Meh, ironic. “He’s predictable like that.”

“I can’t imagine what life would be like without him.”

“Neither can I.”

Moving a little closer. “Meh, can I...?”

“It’s fine, come here.”

Amanda lays next to her, putting an arm around her middle. Meh stays facing away, but puts her closed hand over Amanda’s. Their heads touch in the dark, and Meh can feel her warm breath on the back of her neck. There’s something calming about the indogene’s presence, and Amanda falls asleep.

When Nolan comes in in the wee hours of the morning, they’re even more entwined. Amanda has worked her other arm under Meh, and has entangled their legs as well. Nolan wakes Meh with a single touch on her cheek, a prearranged signal that means ‘open your eyes but don’t move’. She does so. Then immediately freezes. 

Whispered. “I didn’t-! Nothing happened.”

“Oh, I know. Not that I would have minded if it had.” Grinning. “She’s a very persistent cuddler, though, isn’t she?”

“ _ Help me _ .”

“Nope, I need a bath.” Standing up. “Have fun.”

“Nolan-!” Strangled whisper.

He winks, and closes the door just a touch too hard. Meh is instantly ‘asleep’. Amanda’s head pops up, and she immediately slides free of Meh. The doctor stays where she is, unsure if it's safe or not to get up.

Amanda heads into the bathroom, finds Nolan stripping off his shirts.

“You’re back,” relieved.

“Yep, and everything is fine.” Kisses. “You looked very comfortable.” Suggestive.

Amanda flushes. “...do you think Meh minded?”

“She wasn’t awake?” Innocent.

“I..didn’t think so.” Glancing back.

“She probably didn’t mind. She likes cuddling, it's just hard to get her to admit it. She’s like a cat like that.”

“I should still probably-”

The sound of feet pattering makes them pause.

“Mo-om?” It's Colt, and there’s a muffled thud. “Why are you still asleep, mom? I’m hungry.”

Amanda goes to rescue Meh, and in the hubbub, never gets around to mentioning the night before. Meh Doesn't bring it up either, but they both think about it from time to time. 

-090-

One of the hardest parts of Kai’s condition was the consequence of not eating enough over the course of the day. She then stuffs herself, and promptly pukes part of it up. This time, she gets Meh too. The kids are at school, so Meh takes her upstairs to bathe together. Irisa has something else going on, that’s why Meh is home. Nolan comes in as they’re heading up, he wants to talk about Amanda’s birthday. He asks if he can sit with his back to the tub to talk, and since waiting for the night is problematic she relents. 

They chat, chat chat. Private Nolan/Amanda dinner, Meh has to do something too. Making a cake, of course, possible gifts from the kids. She washes Kai and herself. He heads downstairs to clean up the puke. 

Amanda walks in.

“Is Meh here? She and Kai haven’t come by-”

“Kai chucked up her lunch. Meh is giving her a bath.” Cleaning under the table the little bit that got missed the first mop-up from the puking. 

“Oh, ok.” She heads up. Walks right into the bathroom. Promptly walks right back out. Goes back downstairs. She’s bright red.

Nolan straightens up, catches sight of her face. “Amanda?”

“You didn’t say she was bathing too.”

“Ah...no, I didn’t.” Watching her face. Wondering. “Did she see you?”

“I...don't think so.”

“Then she probably thought it was me. Although, if you don’t stop blushing she’s probably going to wonder...”

“I am  _ not-” _ Cutting herself off. “I just wasn’t-....it’s a perfectly natural reaction!”

“To seeing an attractive woman? Yeah.”

“...you think she’s attractive?”

“I think a better question might be: do you?”

Kai comes tearing down the stairs without a shirt.

“No shirt! No shirt!”

Amanda catches her, and Meh appears at the top of the stairs in just her shirt and underwear. Amanda promptly turns around.

“We’ve got her,” Nolan. “And sorry about before, I thought I dropped something.”

“Learn to knock!” Her footstops retreating.

“Lock the door!”

“You’re the one that left it open!”

Nolan paused. “...that’s actually a fair point.” To Kai. “Why no shirt, you little terror?”

“No shirt!” Instant. “No!”

“Well, you can’t go to the market with me and mom if you don’t have a shirt.” Amanda. “I guess you’ll just have to stay here-”

“No! I want to go to market! I want a treat!”

“But you need a shirt. And socks and shoes.”

She lets herself be dressed. Nolan tucks the whole thing in his mind for later. 

At the market, Amanda can’t get naked Meh out of her head, and frequently her eyes stray to the back of the white neck. She didn’t know the dark patches continued all the way down, until now. Were they on the front too? She was also smaller than Amanda expected. She always felt so  _ solid _ -

“_____ or ______?” Meh asked, holding up the fruit for Amanda to see. The human bluses, and Meh gives her a quizzical look. 

“I think someone has a different sort of meal in mind,” the shopkeeper, grinning. 

Amanda’s face goes more red. Meh blinks, picks ____, and moves son. 

“Nolan might still be at the house.” Not looking at her. “Kai and I can finish...”

“I’m fine.” Quickly. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

“If there’s something else you need to do-”

“No.” More calmly, slipping arm arm through hers. “So, what are we making for dinner?”

“ _ We _ ?”

“I’m learning.” Defensive.

“_____and _______ with pasta.” FInish out.

-090-

“Nolan, I was wondering...”

“No, I’m not going to tell you how old Meh is.”

It had been on her mind since they celebrated Colt’s birthday the week before, when Richard asked why they never celebrated Meh’s birthday over cake and pow-icecream. Nolan had looked at Meh with an obvious ‘your turn’ look, and she’d sighed.

“Indogenes don’t celebrate birthdays,” she had said after a few moments of thought. “So...I’m just not used to it. Bessdies, I’m not entirely sure when it is, so...” Nolan snorted. “Time is relative.” Primly. 

It had stuck like a burr in Amanda’s mind ever since. But it seemed rude to just  _ ask _ . Especially when she wasn't sure if she really wanted an answer.

It still pricked her mind when Meh reminded her a few days later that it was about time for her yearly physical.

“What?” Seeing Amanda’s grimace. “Worried I won’t be professional about it now that I’m your wife?” Sass.

“No, I just...it’s a little unfair. Because of who you are, I have almost no secrets from you.”

“While it feels like I have more than the CIA, FBI and Interpol combined?”

“...sure?”

“Just ask. The worst I’ll do is say no.”

“Ok...how old are you?”

Pausing. ...does it matter?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

Thinking. Finally, “60ish.”

“ _ 60 _ .” Seeing Doc’s face. “Sorry. Not...there’s nothing wrong with being...are you old? Do indogene’s...” Getting fluterest, “Not that it matters. You look  _ great _ for-”

Meh covers her laugh, but it's still a laugh. More a snort.

Amanda snaps her mouth shut, cheeks pink.

“In this case,” she said, clearly still amused, “I’m...middle aged, more or less. If you were being generous, you could argue that I’m barely older than Nolan.”

“I didn’t realize indogenes lived that long.”

“Well, I’m not a usual indogene.” Bopping her head about. “I’m actually surprised you’ve never asked.”

“You’re a Prime.” Blinking. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“...when the Omec made indogenes, they wanted the perfect servants. That also meant servants to...lead the other servants. Primes were the answer. They were...a touch smarter, stronger minded. More capable of being independent. They also lived a little longer, so the Omece wouldn’t have to replace them as often.”

“So now 60 is...middle aged.”

“More or less. However: speaking of Nolan, his birthday is next week. Any special plans I need to know about?”

“Oh, uh...not yet.”

“Let me know. We'll do pie and candles around whatever you have planned.”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t rather spend the day with you?”

“Quite.” Poking her nose. “We had plenty of birthdays together.It usually ended with him taunting me over how much better he was with a firearm. After about a dozen of those, I’m good. You crazy kids have fun.”

“Ok.”

“And let me know when you’re coming by for your check up.”

“...right.”

-090-

Three days before Nolan’s birthday, he mentions how much he’s looking forward to this year’s adventure. Meh give him a blank look.

“You’re spending the day with Amanda.”

“Yeah, but I told Amanda it's practically tradition. Besides, after last year you promised to make one Colt and Richard could play along with too. Y’know, with no ‘grand prize’. You didn’t forget, right?”

“...of course not.”

“Good.” One armed hug. “I can’t wait!”

She basically doesn't sleep for three days. She remembers that in  _ this  _ timeline, she hasn’t fixed her malfunctioning ports yet, so she has to program the drones manually using the arm control. It takes  _ much _ longer. Instead of a serious game, she makes it fun. The Princess is Kai instead of Amanda. The guns look cartoonish. The enemies are silly monsters.

That morning, Amanda wakes up to find Meh still gone. She’s asleep in her workroom. Amanda covers her up with a blanket, and then goes to wake Nolan. They're going to change their plans, and she spills Meh’s secret. Not that she forgot, but that she didn’t think he’d want it, being home. And when he did, she immediately started working on it.

“Stubborn idiot.”

“I think she got it from you.”

“Oh no, trust me, she was stubborn long before she met me.” Dourly. 

“Let’s go get the kids before they go looking for Meh.” Kisses. “I’ll make french toast.”

-090-

Meh woke with a start as someone walked into her workroom, realizing she was covered by a blanket.

“Wha-?” Seeing Nolan dressed. “What time is it?”

“Two in the afternoon,” he said as he sat next to her on the small couch.

“Oh, Christmas.” Defeated. “...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright.” Kissing her head, and settling an arm around her shoulders. “It still ended up being a pretty good day. I just wish you would've told me, though.”

“I honestly didn’t think you’d even want to. What’s the point of saving a pixelated princess when you have the real deal in your bed every night?”

Well, it's fun, for one thing.” Putting their heads together. “And it meant something because it was from you.”

“We weren’t friends that first year. We weren't even ...allies.”

“No, we weren’t. That’s why it meant...I didn’t even think that you noticed how much I missed this place and the people in it. But I wake up on my birthday, and you’ve got a game for me to play. With an AI programmed to look and sound liek Irisa to watch my back, and...Amanda as the princess at the end. It was...exactly what I needed. Why would you think I would want things to change just because we were home? You were the only reason my birthday was worth celebrating for years.”

“You used to talk about your perfect birthday. And it certainly didn’t involve me.” Rubbing her face. “So I tried to get out of the way.”

“Yeah, well...I was an idiot. And as much as I’ve enjoyed being with Amanda and the kids, it hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Well, I’m awake and at your disposal, birthday boy.”

“Now there’s an idea...” Smirking.

“No. Down boy...” Mock serious.

“No, I know. But if you Amanda finally sorted things out...I think that would be the best sort of birthday present. And second on the list would be letting me watch while you-”

She smacks him, he laughs.

“Well, maybe next year.” Nolan.

“You should stick to realistic dreams like Datak becoming a saint. Or the arcs rebuilding themselves. Both are far more likely.”

“C’mon, the kdi are excited to see the game. And Irisia and Luke are here too.” He helps her carry the drones and everything downstairs. Meh is greeted with hugs and kisses and teasing. She tries to apologize to Amanda who hushes her and gives her a saved piece of french toast. The kids try to steal bites, and Amanda chases them away.

Nolan sets up the game, and Irisa plays in Mehs place as she’s being mobbed by Becca and Kai. It's funny and silly, but the shooting is still accurate. Alak asks if she's considered marketing it. Meh says since its Omec tech, no. It's a fair point. Irisa takes first place.

“Ah, you have to kiss the princess,” As they’re watching the closing credits. 

“What?”

He grins. “That was always the bet. Winner got to kiss the princess.” Looks at Amanda.

Except...the princess is Kai and Becca. So that’s who gets kissed. It's very cute. And a good birthday alla round.

-090- 

That night, Meh makes the comment in pasing, “I’ll be awake a while. I slept too much today. At least a few hours, probably.”

Nolan kisses her on the head. Then takes Amanda for sexy times. Afterwards, dozing together and tangled in the sheets, Nolan perks up.

“Again?” laughs.

“...no. Meh probably lied So you go track her down and I’ll change the sheets.”

“I can change the sheets.” Kissing. “It's your birthday.”

“Nah, I got it. Besides, she argues with you less.” Kissing again. Amanda gets up and gets dressed. Meh is fast asleep on her tiny couch, wrapped up in the blanket Amanda put on her earlier. 

“Meh, wake up.” No response. Pressing a hand to her face. “Meh?” Her skin is always much softer than she expects. Meh stirs, but does wake. Amanda tries again, stroking her head. The doctor cracks an eye, mutters something Amanadd doesn’t understand.

“C’mon,” she says, gently pulling the blanket away. “Time to get in a real bed.”

“Careful, legs, or I might take you up on that.” Murmured. She’s clearly not really awake.

“Would you?” Half-serious.

“Mm, person’d be crazy to turn down that ass.” Stumbling along.

“I guess that’s a compliment.” Amused.

“Compliments? I got compliments. Compliments for idays...” Giggly.

“Sleep drunk Meh, haven’t seen you for awhile.” Nolan, from the doorway. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Ah-ah-ah, lover boy, you know I don’t do sausages. I’m a tacos all the way kind of girl.” Shaking a finger. 

Nolan ignores her and unzips her top. “Yep, you need to sleep.”

“Do not.” Pouting.

“Help me with her shoes.” Nolan to Amanda.

Amanda. “Why does she always wear heels?”

“Because I hate being short,” Meh, matter of fact. “That, and they make my butt look fabulous. It's a nice bonus.” Smirking.

Amanda looks at Nolan.

“She’s basically sleep-walking, with her mouth running loose,” he explained as he took off her gloves and ring. “If she even remembers this in the morning, it’ll be hazy and half-gone.”

“Ah.” Climbing on the far side of the bed.

“I wanna...

  
Meh following.

“Nope.” Nolan catching Meh by the waist and holding her still. “Go to sleep, Meh.”

“You told the pretty lady I am asleep.”

“Then close your eyes and stop talking.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Cock-block.” Mumbled into her pillow. “Friggnig worst dream ever.”

“Happy birthday.” Amanda, ironically as she curls into Nolan’s back. 

It was certainly a memorable one.

-090-


	5. Part 5

-090-

Amanda comes home, it's around lunch time. The food is untouched, so she make a plate and takes it upstairs. 

Nolan is sitting up, sipping his orange-tinted drink, and Meh is laying with her head in his lap. They’re both laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Coming the rest of the way up the ladder.

“Clouds,” Meh replied, taking another pull. “Sky-farts.” She and Nolan crack up again.

“...yeah, I’ll take that.” It's no fun being the sober one. She takes Nolan’s glass, and takes a drink, it's surprisingly smooth, but burns on the way down with a bite at the end. 

“Easy on that, legs,” Meh sitting up. “It tends to sneak up on you...” Amanda sits between them. Pulls over the food.

“I can handle my drink, Doc.”

“Oh, I know how you handle your drink, legs, and this stuff isn’t like anything else you’ve had before,” Meh replied, flopping down in her lap. 

Amanda squeaks.

“Oh, hush legs, I’m just getting comfortable. You aren’t nearly drunk enough to try anything with yet.” Absently patting her over her shoulder. 

Amanda looks at Nolan. “She’s joking. Probably.” He pours himself another, and she sees him diluting it with water.

It does hit harder than she expected, and very soon she’s leaning against Nolan, enjoying the warm buzz and the laughter that rises to her lips. She’s a bit giddy. 

Nolan tells a story about something, they’re all laughing hilariously. Meh tells a story about Samir. They laugh until they almost cry. 

It grows quiet. Meh tells Nolan something in Indojisnen, he stumbles through a reply. She asks him something further, clearly mocking, and he grumbles something back. She closes her eyes, and enjoys the feeling of leaning her head on Amanda’s leg. 

Amanda is staring down at Meh’s spots, and finds herself tracing one. Meh warmbles the same tone as before, eyes closed. Amanda keeps going for a while, marveling at how soft the skin is under her fingertips. Nolan watches with a half smile. Somehow, we go from that to him and Amanda kissing. Meh doesn’t realize it until the hand stroking her head presses a little too hard. Eyes popping open, she sees them making out.

“Bloody friggin’-!” Sitting up quickly.

“Oh, chup Meh I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“No, no, it's....uh...shit, there is no way this conversation ends well. Bye.” Gets up and goes to the ladder.

But...drunk people don’t make good choices, so they go ahead and chup on the roof. Nolan falls asleep (so like a man) and after a bit Amanda decides to go find Meh. 

It's later afternoon now. Meh is on the bed, sans most of her clothes, and finishing the end of one of her paper rolls. Amanda is kinda dressed, and finds herself leaning on the doorway, watching. She has a glass that she doesn't remember bringing down, and takes a drink. 

“Meh?”

“Hm, legs?”

Putting the glass down and coming to sit next to her. “...how is your skin so soft?”

“We were designed to be pleasant to touch.“ Bopping her on the nose. “We can’t gain callouses if we want to. We’re biologically designed not to get them.”

“Your skin also grows back almost overnight compared to a humans, and without a scar.”

“6 one way, half dozen the other.” Shrugs. “Nothing is perfect.”

Leaning over her, curious. Everything feeling far away. “You-....”

“Amanda?”

“Hm?   
  


“How much have you had?” Touching her face.

“...I’m not sure.” Leaning closer.

“You need to lay down.”

“I think there’s something else I want to do.”

“I think you’re too drunk.”

“Earlier you said I wasn’t drunk enough.”

“It’s a fine line. You overshot it by about a mile.” Pulling her down.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you comfortable.” Tucking her in. 

“Stay with me?”

“...sure.”

Stroking her blonde head. 

“Do you still think the VC will come?”

“...yeah, I do.”

“It’s been months. I would have thought...”

“They’ll come. And when they do, we’ll be ready.”

When Amand finally sleeps, Meh goes upstairs to check on Nolan. It's full dark now. He’s just waking up. They talk for a few hours. He apologizes, and she waves it off. Hopefully, Amanda wont’ remember what happened too much the next day. Eventually, they go to bed.

-090-

Amanda wakes up entirely refreshed and ravenous. She does remember the day before, and tries to apologize to Meh. Finds her in her workroom, watering the bush. 

“Doc, I wanted to apologize.”

“You have nothing to apologize for you.” Mildly. 

“...you were very kind.” 

Meh kisses her cheek, and it feels almost natural now. It doesn’t bother her anymore. She thought that might be the case, it's the same with Nolan. “What kind of wife would I be if I weren't?” Saunters off. Starts seriously considering finding an alternative source to help keep herself mentally together. 

-090-

“She’s a hell of an actor,” Datak said as he caught Meh in the market place one noontide. “Of course, she has to be. She is the Mayor.” The object of his attention is Amanda, who’s looking at bows with becca and Kai. Nolan and the boys are out doing something else. 

“And what part of her acting are you referring to?” Meh, amused, because he’s clearly up to something.

“Her most recent roll, of course. Doting Wife. She does it well, the way she greets you with kisses on your cheek and tucks her hand in your arm. It's all quite convincing.”

“‘But’?”

“Oh, it’st just unfortunate her co-star isn't’ quite as up to the challenge.” Meeting her gaze. “Which is surprising because I know her to be an accomplished liar.”

“You got something to say, say it.”

“People are starting to talk about the fact that Doctor Yewell seems more infatuated with her husband than the wife she supposedly fell in love with.”

“Frgiggin’-!” Looking down.

“So go kiss her.

“What?!”

“Yes, right now, where everyone can see.” Crossing his arms.

“That is  _ not _ the indgoene way.”

“You are the least indogene indogene I know. And I meant that as a compliment. Kiss her.”

“...I should warn her first.”

“No. Too much preparation is bad. It needs to feel spontaneous. Unrehearsed.”

“....”

“Scared? Afraid you’ve lost your magic touch with the ladies?”

“No, I have to be careful with it. I’ve been known to flip a few who think they’re firmly on the other side of the fence.”

“I’m sure you will contain yourself.” Hissed. “I’m telling you this for your good.”

“No.”

“I’ll pay you.”

“Be serious.” 

I am.” Pulling out some scrip. “100.”

“No.”

“200.”

“I’m not one of your girls.”

“500.”

“Tempting, but not.”

“1000.”

Meh paused. “Seriously.”

Offered to her. She takes it and counts it. “1000 scrip. Go kiss her, right now.”

Meh decides there are some offers simply too good to pass up. “Ok.” Stuff it in her pocket. Rejoining the trio. She takes Kai’s hand from Amanda’s to make room for herself on one side, and slides her free arm about the woman’s waist. Murmurs, “Go with it,” and kisses her. 

It wasn’t a long kiss, but suddenly there are little hands patting her sides.

“I wanna kiss too, mama!” Kai, tugging on her shirt. 

“Me too! Kiss me!” Becca, smiling widely. 

Meh seriously obliged her children, which means she misses the look on Amanda’s face. 

“You should take the kids over to Irisa’s, see if she can watch them for a bit.”

“Hm?” Meeting her gaze. 

“Go with it,” A kiss on the cheek. “And then I’ll see you at the house.”

“...alright.” Taking Becca’s hand. “Let’s go see if Luke and Irisa can play, hm?”

Amanda gives her a smile, and watches them leave. Then she goes to buy a few things.

-090-

Datak with someone else.

“Well?”

“Alright, alright...” Pays up $500. Just five more now to collect. 

And Meh thought she did well getting $1000. Pfft.

Helping his friend while helping himself...what could possible be better?

-090-

Meh shows up at Alak’s place, the girls in tow. Irisa answers the door and is surprised.

“Doc! Everything alright?”

“Do you know why Amnda would tell me to bring you the girls for a few hours?”

“...not unless my dad has the afternoon free and you’re busy.”

“...ok. Keep the girls for a while. One of us will come get them later.”

“Sure. Come on in, guys...”

Meh gets back shortly before Amanda does. Is a bit at loose ends, decides to clean up a few things she’s been meaning to get to but constantly forgets. 

Amand comes in to find her coat off and sleeves rolled up as she washes things in the sink.

“Meh?”

The doctor turns to see her standing there, holding a purple lily and what smells like a berry tart.

Quickly. “You didn’t have to-” Feels even more guilty.

“But I...it looks good, right? And...you’re usually not available in the afternoon like Nolan sometimes is.”

“Yeah, Irisia implied this wasn't...entirely out of left field.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You’ve done this before.”

“Ah, yes. A few times.” Blushing.

Turning back to her work. “It’s alright. You should...enjoy yourself while you can.” Clearing her throat. “I did want to apologize for something.”

“What’s that?” Please not the kiss. She comes to stand beside her wife. 

“It’s been pointed out to me that I haven’t been as committed to making things...believable as you have.” Amanda hears the door open and knows it's not Nolan. Immediately stepps closer, sliding her arms about her wife’s waist.

“We have company.”

“Doctor Yewll?” It's Samir.

“Well, there goes the afternoon.” Amanda, loud enough for him to hear. The young man pauses, flushing bright red at them being in a private moment. 

“I am so sorry, but Mrs. _____-”

Doc perks right up. “The labor has begun?” Drying her hands and reaching for her coat. 

“I think so?” Samir shrugs. “At any rate, she’s terrifying and she wants you. When you didn’t answer your hailer, I ran to find you. I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine.” Zipping herself up. To Amanda. “I’ll probably be late, Sensoth births are like anything else they do: slow. Get the kids something for dinner with this.” Giving her the cash.

“Where...?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Hope she forgets. To Samir. “Well? Go!”

“Yes, Doctor Yewll!”

-090-

Dinner take-out, and Nolan built a playhouse for dollies with the girls while Amanda helped the boys finish their model of something for school. Bedtime is fairly easy, and before they know it everything is quiet. Nolan runs some food over to Meh, she’s still busy with the birth. He decides not to stick around after the screaming starts again.

Amanda is being especially cuddly if quiet, so he puts the moves on her. She seems to enjoy it, but is distracted. 

Afterwards, “Is something on your mind?”

“...yeah.” Snuggling into his side.

“Mm. Was that a ‘I want to talk about it’ or a ‘leave me alone’ pause?”

“It’s a we should probably talk but I don’t know how pause.”

“Ok.” Rolling on his side so he can see her face. “Did something happen?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“...Meh kissed me.” His expression doesn’t change. “I mean, I know she’s kissed me before, but I usually...I mean, I know when it's coming and this time she just _ kissed _ me and I...” Clearing her throat. “I told her to take the kids to Irisa’s, and it wasn’t until I was halfway home with a flower and her favorite tart that I realized...I was seriously considering kissing her again. Just to kiss her, as soon as I got in the door.”

“What happened?” Curious.

“...you’re not angry? Or...jealous?”

“No. Meh’s awesome and beautiful, and if you can make her happy you should. We are married to her after all.”

“And you’re seriously ok with that?”

“Yes! Now chupping tell me what happened next, you’re killing me here smalls.”

“Ah...I walked in, and she’s cleaning. And clearly not expecting a romantic encounter of any kind. I panicked a little, and played off the flower and tart as ‘it looks good’. Then she apologized. I think Datak got on her about her...not playing her part well.”

“And then?”

“Then Samir burst in. And Meh left. And...I haven’t really stopped thinking about it since then.”

“Then, you should go for it.”

“Has she said anything about me?”

“I’m not answering that question.” Dryly. “You’re grown-ass adults, you can sort this out without me. Besides, I know how it would end. Even if it works out, something I said would get misconstrued or twisted somehow, and I’m not getting in trouble for it.”

“You’re no help.”

“I already told you she likes and admires you. And if I honestly thought you had no chance, do you really think I wouldn’t say anything?”

“I’m not sure. You might think it's funny to watch me run around chasing her knowing I didn’t have a chance.” Dryly.

“...ok, yess, that’s true, but given how badly it could end if that were the case and that we have kids in the mix, no, I wouldn’t do that.”

“...ok.”

“Now.” Nuzzling her neck. “Do you think you can be pulled away from dreaming about her alabaster, hexagonal skin long enough for another go, or-”

She smacks him. Then kisses him. 

Round two! GO!

-090-

Amanda wakes up with her mind made up. She’s going to do it. Kiss Meh, and mean it. 

She doesn’t see Meh until around lunch time, exiting the clinic with a sensoth male. He’s unusually animated for a sensoth. 

“Yes,” Doc, her reassuring voice. “They’re both fine. Samir is going to stay and wait for you to finish packing up to go home. Bring your son back in a week for a weight check. I’ll be available by hailer if anything crops up before then.”

Amanda didn’t hear the response, she was too focused on the target of her affections, and the lips she meant to-

A sour-sweet rot hit her nose with the force of a hammer, just as her eye’s met Doc’s.

“Yeah, keep your distance,” Meh said quietly with a shrug. “I actually have my nose turned off. I’m heading home to sleep and scrub myself raw. And possibly burning my clothes, which is unfortunate because I like this outfit but if even an iota of this lingers its gone.”

“What is it?” Trying to breath through her mouth and finding that’s almost worse.

Meh winces at her face. “Afterbirth. Males are always a lot worse than females. Something about announcing to the tribe at large that a new child has been born.” Amanda starts to gag. “Yeah, I’m going. See you later, legs.”

“Hm, bye.”

And off course time brings doubt. Maybe she shouldn’t be so...direct. A more subtle approach? To...hedge her bets? The next time she sees Doc is that night, and she’s being swarmed by children who want to know all about the birth of a sensoth. Then it's bedtime, and she goes to lay down early for once. By the next day, Amanda’s almost talked herself out of the whole thing. 

Oh, people.

-090-

A sickness going through the humans. Amanda and Nolan both catch it, and Doc and the kids rallying together and taking care of them. Even Kai doing her part. Very cute, lots of cuddles.

-090-

Something about the mines. There is a new manager, irathient? It's doing well. But still have something. Maybe a new kind of gulanite found? A rare sort. Worthless to the Omec, but useful to the Votans. The VC definitely wants it, it's a new bargaining point for Amanda.

-090-

It was rare that Amanda was done before Meh came for their shared lunch break in the market, but on this occasion Amanda set out hoping to surprise her spouse. 

Entering the clinic, she paused as Samir caught sight of her and put a finger to his lips. Carefully closing the door, she listened. 

“I am very sorry for your loss,” Meh said in what Amanda thought of as her ‘doctor’ voice. “There was simply nothing more that I could do.”

“It’s alright, Doctor Yewll,” _____ the castithan said hoarsely. “We have known this day was coming. Thank you for making her comfortable in her passing.”

“Of course. When would you like to come for her remains?”

“This afternoon. My brothers are preparing her pyre as we speak.”

“She will be ready.”

A castithan something and a castithan response. Amanda waits until the man leaves, and comes around to see Meh standing stiffly over the body of a very old castithan woman. She recognizes her from the market.

“Meh...?”

Doc looks up, checks the time without a smile. “I’ll have to pass today. Samir and I have work to do.”

“Of course.” Standing beside her awkwardly. It takes two looks for Samir to take a hint and go away. Amanda puts a hand on her arm, but her wife doesn’t respond. “Meh? Is there anything...?”

“The family comes first,” the Doctor replied, gently removing her hand. “Which means I have work to do. I’ll see you at the house tonight.”

“Right.” A little take aback. She leaves, goes to the Lawkeeper’s office. Finds Nolan and tells him what’s going on. He nods. Meh doesn’t like grief, and doesn’t handle it well. Much worse than before, when she just ignored everything. 

“Give her some space, and if she needs help she’ll ask for it. Pushing her just makes it worse.”

“Ok.”

They go pick up dinner together, and Amanda clears her schedule so she can be home early to cook. She gets back and finds Meh already there, preparing the food they bought. Meh quietly rejects her help and Amanda goes to be with the kids instead. Meh stays pretty much alone that evening. She helps put the kids to sleep, but isn’t as engaged as she usually is. 

Nolan goes by her workroom before bed. When he doesn’t come to bed, Amanda goes looking and finds him holding Meh while she quietly cries. 

This is where the cuddling happens. Something where Amanda just wraps Doc up and holds her most of the night. Nolan’s a fan. 

-090-

Nolan comes home after a hard day’s work, and finds Alak in his front room setting up a record player. He asked Meh to teach him how to waltz, and she agreed. Irisa isn’t certain about it, so Amanda’s trying to talk her into it. 

They have dinner together, and dancing is the talk of the night. Richard gets into it, Colt thinks it's girly. Becca and Kai are interested. The lesson itself is funny and serious. Meh uses Amanda more than Nolan to demonstrate, and Irisa decides to give it a try. 

Alak catches on pretty quickly but he still stumbles sometimes. 

When Irisa and Amanda chase the kids upstairs for sleep, Nolan asks Meh for a dance and puts on their song. They talk in indojinse while they dance. About the time that never was and how things are now.

“You should tell her.” Nolan.

“No.” Firm. “Things are fine the way they are.”

“So you’re happy like this?”

“I’m content.”

“You could have more.”

“I already have more than I never thought possible. To demand more is greedy.”

Frustrated sigh.

“Oh, stop whining. You won, you should be happy.”

“Well, I’m greedy on your behalf.”

“Because you want to watch.”

“I was..sort of joking?”

“Hm? Please, go on, I’d love to hear how you continue this without dropping yourself deeper in a hole.”

“...yeah, no thanks.”

“Thanks what I thought.”

“You aren’t always right, Doc.”

“No, but my success rate is pretty friggin’ good.”

“Yeah, it is.”

The girls come back down, and they practice some more. Nolan masters a new move, and Irisa starts to get the hang of things. Nolan busts out dessert! Everyone goes to have some, except Meh, and she’s looking through the records when Amanda comes back nibbling on a cookie. She offers her a small piece, and Meh takes it. 

“So....when am I going to see all these amazing dance moves I keep hearing about?” Finishing her last bite and considering an idea. “I mean, you’ve clearly wooed half the women in Defiance at this point but you really haven’t used anything beyond the most basic steps and turns.”

“I’m trying not to destroy Nolan’s confidence in himself.”

“Or you’re as full of shit as he is.” Taunting.

Meh picks a record. “You sure you can keep up, legs?”

“Try me.”

It's an orchestral piece, Blue Danbue which is around 9ish minutes long, and Meh holds out her hand with a challenging smirk. Amanda accepts it, and Meh smoothly slides them into position. She is  _ every  _ bit as good as she promised. Dancing with an excellent partner, it's almost like floating instead. 

Nolan peaks around the corner, grinning. Alak joins him and opens his mouth. Nolan stops him and pulls him back into the kitchen.

Amanda is breathing hard when Meh whirls her out into a standing bow.

“Well?”

“Uh...” Flustered.

“Don’t bother. Your face says it all. Mama’s still got it.” Smug. Back to the record player.

“Yeah..that was...pretty good.” Trying to regain her composure. 

“Sure, legs, whatever helps you put up with Nolan’s stumbling steps later.” Mildly.

“I’m not  _ that _ bad,” Nolan, from the doorway, teasing. Giving Amanda a look with raised brows. 

“Oh, no,” Meh agreed with a smirk. “Compared to say, a dead pow, you’re definitely-” With a yelp, Nolan picks her up. “Let me  _ go _ you-!”

Irisa comes to Meh’s rescue before her father can complete whatever his nefarious plan was, and Amanda laughs as an indignant Men looks very much like a cat.

Irisa tells Alak he needs to practice. He agrees.

Nolan looks uncomfortable. Things he doesn’t want to know about his kid. 

Meh, in indojinse. “The waltz. Also known as The Magical Panty Drop.”

“And you would know?” Snorting.

The only thing that worked better was poetry.” Glancing at Amanda. “Go on, go reap the benefits of my hard work.” 

“Y’know, you could always-”

“No.”

“Suit yourself.”

Alak ends up giving them the player, he has several more, and Doc looks pleased. She has some records in storage. He promises to make her a special waltz one. She tells him to save the flattery for Irisa, but thank you all the same. They leave. 

Nolan does reap the reward of Meh’s work, but can’t help feeling Amanda would be more satisfied with Meh.

-090-

Nolan takes Colt out with a few Deputies on patrol outside the stasis net. Meh and Amanda are both  _ pissed _ . 

-090-

Nolan and Amanda have a date at the NeedWant, and Meh and Amanda have a private lunch at Town Hall. Meh and Nolan go shooting together. All Amanda’s suggestions, in her attempts to get closer to Meh and figure this whole mess out!

-090-

“Nolan, I just realized something the other day,” Meh.

“What’s what?” Eating something.

“In this timeline, my ports haven’t been serviced for about a decade.”

“So?”

“So I need them to work for the trial. Which means I need your help.”

“Oh, you mean plugging you into a terminal so you can examine linkages and run diagnostics. Sure, I remember that.”

“So you could do it again? Reach the plugs that I can’t.”

“Uh...yeah, sure.” Scratching his head. “Wouldn’t another indogene be better at that, though?”

“Yeah...just one problem.” Catching his eye. “I can’t promise none of them will work for the VC, and I don’t feel safe trusting any of them that much given what we’re trying to do.”

“...are you certain they’re even still coming?” Voicing a thought he’s been holding for awhile. “Maybe...we panicked for nothing.”

“You killed a Vice Chancellor, Nolan. They’re coming. They may be taking their time, gathering information, but they will come eventually.”

“..right.” Nodding. “Well...only one thing to do then, I suppose.”

“We’ll find a time Amanda’s out of the house for a while and take care of it then.”

“You’re sure? She could help...” Thoughtful.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Giving him a flat look.

“Ok, fine. Just tell me when.”

It was a quiet afternoon they chose, with one hour before the kids got out of school and three before Amanda usually finished her work. Meh sat on the bed besides the monitor and cables she had cobbled together on a couple of towels, wearing pants that only came to her knees and a long sleeved top with holes at various points. 

“Alright,” she said, flexing her feet and hands. “Let’s do this.”

The legs were first, and while Meh didn’t technically  _ need _ help for those, she used it as a chance to refresh his memory on what they were there to do as his face wasn’t as certain as she’d like. 

Describe, describe, describe. Meh has a minor problem with one knee, but that’s it. She moves on to her arms. Nolan does the plugs at her elbows. A few more problems crop up, especially with one hand. 

“Well, I figured that was coming.”

Nolan, thoughtful. “...isn’t that the hand you can make vibrate by-”

“Shut it.”

“Been a frustrating couple of months?”

“Nolan...”

“Alright, alright.”

Then they move on to her back, which is where things start to go south.

“You’re sure you remember?” Meh asked for the third time as Nolan hesitated, one hand feeling along the curve of her spine as the other held the waiting plug. 

“Yeah, yeah I got this.” More confident than he should be.

“Because...well, I’m not sure who we would ask, but-”

“I’m fine!” He’s not fine.

“...alright.”

It begins.

-090-

Amanda hurried into the house, eyes scanning each surface for her missing keys. She doesn’t specifically need them at this exact moment, but she wanted to get into the safe and that’s when she realized her keys were missing. She hears yelling from upstairs.

Indojinse.

Nolan. “I’m  _ trying _ .”

Indojinse.

Nolan. “I’m telling you, it doesn’t fit-”

Interrupted by indojinse.

“Yes, I tried wiggling it to the left. If you would just  _ hold still _ -”

A yelp. 

“Oh, shtako.”

Amanda hits the top of the stairs in time to see Nolan come bursting out of the bedroom and head for Meh’s workroom.

“Nolan?”

“Amanda!” Turning towards her but still moving away. “I gotta-”

Something yelled in indojinse. 

“Yes, yes, I’m coming!” Amanda goes to the bedroom door to see Meh sitting with her knees up and a pillow hugged to her chest and more than a dozen lines running from her to a box and screen. 

“What-?”

“Helping Meh service her ports.” Nolan, running past her with a box of spare parts. “In the most literal way possible, I-”

“Yes, I can see that.”

Meh glances back, then mutters something in indojinse. She buries her head in the pillow and scowls. 

“I did not!” Nolan, holty. “She just showed up- why are you here?”

Meh snaps something at him.

“Right, not important. Getting back to work.” he takes a cord that’s free and unscrews the broken plug off the end. Searches in the box for a replacement.

Meh says something else.

“Yes, I know i’m looking for a half-inch connector.” Fumbling In the box.

“Is there something I can do?” Amanda.

Meh in indojinse, bitter.

“I’m not chupping repeating that.” Nolan. “You kiss our kids with that mouth.  _ And  _ our wife.”

Meh shoots something back.

“I shorted out her translative adapter on accident,” Nolan explained as he finished assembling the plug. “She can understand what you’re saying, but can’t speak anything but indojinse. It should be fixable.” Nolan starts to slide his hand down Meh’s spine, clearly searching for something. She tenses up. “Meh, you gotta relax or I can’t feel where to put the plug.

She grumbles something back.

“Yes, I know I’m a chupping idiot. Just...please? I’ll get it right his time, ok?”

Meh hugs the pillow harder, and nods. She’s still not really relaxed though. Amanda slides onto the bed with her, sitting just to the side so she can pull Doc into a partial embrace. The indogene’s head is on her shoulder, and she strokes the back of her neck. Insert before this how it’s the ‘go to sleep’ button for indogenes. 

“Better?” Amanda.

“Yes.” Nolan. 

Meh mutters something into Amanda’s neck that makes Nolan snort. He finds the next spot and pushes it in, Meh hisses softly.

“Ok, got that one. Just three more to go.”

Meh says something else.

Nolan snorts. “Stop whining. Maybe if you ask nicely, Amanda will kiss all your boo-boos when it's done.”

“Be nice, Nolan.” Amanda.

“I am being nice. Your kisses are very nice.” Smirking.

Meh mutters something else. Then hisses again.

“Two more to go. One in your neck and one in your head.

Meh grumbles.

“No, I’m not completely incompetent, thank you.” To Amanda. “Move a little to the left...perfect.”

Amanda can’t help but notice it's the same place the Omec control rod went. Nolan inserts the plug, and Meh entirely relaxes from the neck down. 

“You can lay her down,” Nolan, as he prepares the final plug. “She’ll stay like that for a good half-hour while the computer does its thing. I need to go pickup the kids...” Sliding a hand along Meh’s head, until he finds a spot at the very top. “When I get back, the diagnostics will be done. I’ll unplug her and patch the holes then.”

“You’re just going to leave her?” Surprised.

“Ready Meh?”

Indojinse affermative.

He plugs it in. Meh’s eyes roll back up in her head, and her face goes slack.

“She’s fine.” Nolan, starting to ease her onto the bed.

“She’s defenseless!”

“So we’ll lock the doors. No one knows she’s here, and I’ll be back soon. Nothing is going to happen to her.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Then you stay.” Nolan wiping his hands clean. “I have to go get the kids.”

“How will I know everything is alright?”

Nolan picks up the small controller, and types, [Doc, you alright?]

{Yes, you incompetent asshat.} The words appeared below his, in a script that looked exactly like Doc’s voice would sound. 

“See, she’s fine?” Dropping the controller. 

“I’m still staying.”

“You can chat with her through typing. She’d probably like it, she gets bored waiting for things to run through.” Rolling his eyes. Catching her worried look. “She’s fine, I promise.”

“...alright.”

“I’ll be back soon, chirp me if you need something.”

“Will do.” Picking up the controller. He goes.

[Meh? It's Amanda. Are you sure you’re ok?]

It took a moment for a reply to pop up. {I’m fine. You don’t have to stay if you have something you need to do.}

[Nothing super pressing.] She chirps her assistant to clear her afternoon, unless there’s an emergency. [Can you feel anything?] Curious

{Not really, no. So hands off the merchandise, legs.}

Amanda snatches her hand away from where she’s been stroking Meh’s head, cheeks red. Starts to type several things, settles with, [Any problems crop up yet?]

{Nothing unexpected. It's been awhile, so...} She can almost hear the shrug. 

[Why do you need to do this? I know you’ve said indogene brains are similar in structure to computers, but what about this helps you?]

{Being built like a computer means we can also be altered like a computer. I have several...modifications that were done when I was younger. My translation adapter. The upgrade to my stomach for space travel. The ability to turn my hand into a printer. Others that haven’t come up are...I have inertial dampeners in my hands, for precision control during medical procedures or experiments. Support disks in my spine for being bent over. I used to have some interesting vision upgrades, but those require fairly consistent maintenance and have been useless for quite awhile as a result.}

[Any others?]

{Something in my joints to assist with movement in low-gravity situations and to support all the extra weight of my upgrades. Extended memory banks for perfect recall. All of the ports that allow me to monitor the upgrades. Most of them are very...science specific.}

[Did one of them go wrong? Is that why you needed to do this?]

{More like...one of the things I can do is port in directly to a terminal with my mind. It's how indogenes submit testimony in court. Only...if that port were a hallway, mine hasn’t been used in awhile, and has accumulated quite a bit of...junk. I’m basically cleaning the house, so I don’t embarrass myself when the time comes.}

[But there’s no rush. We haven’t heard a peep out of the VC yet.”

{Not yet, no. But...there is a chance they could show up next week, and request a preliminary extraction of proof to support a home trial. Or some other ridiculousness. I’d rather be prepared, either way.}

[I understand.] Pausing. [Are you going to be angry with Nolan tonight?]

{...this is a trap. If I say yes, you’re going to try and convince me otherwise. If I say no, you’re going to expect me to mean it.}

[Well? Are you?] Smirking.

The screen was silent for a long, long time.

{Fine. I won’t be angry with him.}

[That was much easier than I expected it to be.] Laughing out loud. [I half-expected to have to bribe you with french toast.]

{You can still bribe me. I promise not to tell anyone.}

[Well, yes, but what am I bribing you for? You’ve already said you won’t be angry with him.]

{...that’s unfair. What do you want?}

Amanda thinks about it. [I want a portrait of us, as a family, for the living room.]

{Sold.}

[Then I will make some french toast tonight.]

{And...that’s it. I’m done.}

[Nolan isn’t back yet.]

{How do you feel about playing doctor?}

[...that depends.]

{...that wasn’t a pick-up line. The shot I need is on the table. Administer it in the neck on the opposite side from the port, and then start pulling plugs. It's a super-coagulant. That should buy me about ten minutes before I start bleeding, which gives me just enough time to get to the tub.}

[Is that safe?]

{As long as you do the head first and the neck second, yes. The others don’t matter in order. And they’re all baby plugs, so they should come out easy and quick and seal over pretty fast.}

[And you’re sure you don’t want to wait for Nolan.]

{No. I won’t be angry with him, but he’s still done enough for today.}

[Ok.]

It goes exactly as planned, and Meh stumbles off to the bathroom. Amanda stays close, just in case, but doesn’t try to go in when the door is shut in her face. The doctor appears a short time later, fully dressed and with no wounds in sight. 

“See? All better.”

“And your...translation thing?”

“Fine. Probably. I’ll have to check the data logs to be sure, but there’s other work that needs to be done in that area anyways, so no real harm done either way.” Clearing her throat. “Thank you for helping Nolan. And me. We needed it.”

“Yeah, of course.” A small smile. “I was-”

Kids flood in. Nolan sees Doc up and about, and looks relieved.

“Hey, I-”

“It’s fine.” Quick hug. “We’ll cover things more thoroughly before we start next time.  _ If _ there’s a next time.”

“Right.”

Lots of kids and evening things. French toast for dinner! Nolan grabs Amanda during bathtime, and suggests she sleeps with the kids that night. Explain the memories of the nightmares.

“So, you’d probably sleep better with the kids.”

“Probably. But I’d still rather stay with you.” Kissing him. “Both of you.”

“...ok.”

Meh goes to bed early that night, as porting wears her out. She doesn't scream when the first nightmare hits, instead she sits straight up with a gasp, clawing at her neck.

“Stop, it's gone, it's gone.” Nolan grabs her like he’s done it 100 times before. Holding her tight. “It’s fine, you’re fine, and the bitch is dead.”

“Oh  _ Christmas _ ,” breathing hard. 

“Yeah, I know.”

“I didn’t....did this-?”

“...yeah, but it's fine. Just try to go back to sleep.” Pulling her back down. 

“Yeah, ok.”

After the third time, Amanda gets up. Meh wants to hide, and Nolan swallows and I told you so. She leaves the room.

“She’s not mad.” Nolan.

“I would be in her place.”

“Would you really? If she was having nightmares?”

“...no.”

The toilet flushes ,and the sink runs. Then Amanda comes back and goes to Meh’s side of the bed. “Scoot over.”

“Why...?”

“I feel useless overthere. Scoot over.”

“Ok.”

Nolan’s grinning in the dark. Meh turns towards him to glare, because she absolutely can see it and he knows it. Amanda takes that as an invitation to cuddle her from behind. Close enough that Nolan can throw his arm over them both. Then she starts to stroke Meh’s ‘sleep’ button. 

The nightmares still come, but they’re less pressing than before. And each time she wakes, there’s two voices in the dark saying it's ok. That she’s safe. And for some reason, bolstered on either side, it's easier to believe. 

In the morning. Meh wakes up completely trapped, Amanda still curled into her back and Nolan turned on his side towards her, his hand holding hers. It's nice and terrifying all at the sametime. Because she misses this so badly, and doesn’t know if she can stand to lose it again. Either of them. 

One of her two humans wakes up first, and is more concerned with making sure she’s ok than anything else. It's a very relaxed morning, but before they part ways she thanks them both separately. Oh the  _ feels _ .

-090-

Amanda knew she wasn’t her sister, but had always considered herself...at least adequate at letting someone know she was interested in them.

So the fact that Meh Yewll seemed completely impervious to her attention made her reconsider...a lot of things. Like whether she had entirely misunderstood Doc’s actions, or if her interest had already waned with nothing to sustain it. 

She started with the basics, because that had seemed the safest at the time. Compliments were met with mild amusement, though, or a ‘save it for when someone else can hear’. She touched her at every offered opportunity, and though Meh seemed to enjoy the attention, she never tried to return it unless she knew someone was watching. Flirting at least made her laugh, and was usually followed by, “Oh, please say that in front of Samir, he’ll be red for a week!”

“So be more obvious,” Nolan said one night as they changed the sheets before bed. “I’m not making promises, but I’m fairly sure Doc once said indogene courting rituals are pretty...blatant.”

“So what would you suggest?”

“Go walk in her workroom naked. That’d be pretty obvious.”

“No. that’s...too far.”

“No risk, no gain.”

“....I’ll think about it.”

She settled on a middle ground.

Amanda waited until Meh was in the bedroom at the same time she needed to change. Goes to change right there in the room. Meh catches sight of her out of the corner of her eye, immediately yanks her eyes to the floor. It's not anything she hasn’t seen before, but it seems more...invasive here. Then Amanda asks her to help tie up the back. Meh does so, and it becomes a thing. Amanda wears whatever she needs help with. And always asks Meh to help, because Nolan is ham-fisted with that stuff. Its sweet, sweet torture. Amanda starts adjusting Meh’s clothes for her, whenever they are even  _ slightly _ askew.

Rumors  _ abound _ in Defiance...but Amanda still can’t get a solid response from Doc. And Doc is about to drown herself over what she perceives as ‘sisterly’ behavior. Because indogenes just say something if they like each other, there is no dancing around. 

-090-

It was later in the evening than they usually got visitors, but Amanda still went to answer the door as Meh washed the dishes and Nolan supervised the kids through baths. 

“Irisa,” she said as the lanky red-head walked in. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to talk to Doc.”

Even more surprised. “She’s washing dishes.”

“Ok, thanks.” Heads on back. “Doc?”

“Hm?” Looking up from washing. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to talk.” Picking up the drying towel. “About Alak.”

“Then you might want to ask Amanda instead. I don’t do boys.”

“It’s about marriage.”

“Did he ask you?”

“Uh...no.”

“But you think he’s about to.” Meh hands her a bowl.

“Yeah.” Looking down.

“And you don’t know how  _ you _ feel about that.”

“...no.”

“Well, sounds like that’s what you need to do, then.” Shrugging. 

“You didn’t want to get married, though. I mean the first time. Right?”

“Uh...kind off. More...I didn’t see the point. We were together, and I didn’t care what her family thought.” Focusing on the dishes.

“But you still got married.”

“Because...sometimes someone else’s happiness is more important than your own.” Pausing in her washing. “It didn’t mean as much to me as it did to her. But I wanted to make her happy. So...we got married.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want to be with him? And Luke?”

“...yeah, I kinda do. But relationships never really workout for me.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Chuckling. Changing to Irathient. “But if you change your mind and want me to look at the key...let me know.”

Also in Irathient. “Yeah, I will. So...have you told...?”

“That’s not up for discussion.”

“...alright.” Kiss on the cheek. “Thanks...mom.”

Meh quietly smiles. “Dry the dishes if you really want to thank me.”

  
“Yes, ma’am.” Smiling.

Amanda’s a little bit jealous. Especially after the kids pile downstairs, and they’re all hanging on Doc and Irisia. Meh flicks water at Irisa, and the girl elbows her back. Then Irisa starts singing a Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue. Meh pretends to be horrified, so the kids join in, and then Nolan practically bellows it as he comes down the stairs in a dry shirt. 

Then, later that night, Amanda hears humming before she goes to bed. It's Meh, in her workshop, humming ‘A Boy Named Sue’ under her breath as she fiddles with something.

“Gotcha!” Its Nolan behind her, and Meh jumps before turning to see them both standing there.

“Wha-?”

“You were humming Johnny Cash.”

“You’re mistaken.”

“Oh no, I’m not.”

“Is there something you need?” Annoyed.

“Just a kiss,” Nolan replied as he popped in to drop one one her head. “For helping kiddo. Could you really get the key out?”

“Maybe. It's not hurting anything where it is, so unless there’s a  _ reason _ -”

“Like trying to have a baby?”

“I’d rather leave it alone. And...we don’t know for sure that she can’t. It's just a theory.”

“Still...thanks for looking out for her.”

“Of course. She’s our kiddo.” Share a smile. She goes back to work. “Anything else?”

“Amanda?” Nolan. “You were here before me.”

“I was just wondering if I could get a repeat performance of that song you were humming. It sounded familiar-”

She kicks them out and shuts the door.

Nolan is stifling laughter. 

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.”

Kissing and bed.

-090-

Amanda confronts Datak about how much money he’s investing into Defiance. 

“You can’t buy goodwill.”

“Actually...to a degree, you can. But in this case, my motives are in an entirely different direction.”

“Go on.”

“I am tired of the VC thinking they can dictate the lives of Votans outside of their few cities. And to continue to pretend that humans are beneath us is foolish. My investment into this city, a place where  _ all _ may be welcomed, forces them to acknowledge that a great deal of their prejudice is misplaced and wrong. We will only grow strong and make lives better by working together.”

“Well, let's hope you mean it this time.”

“I am aware that a great deal of your tolerance of me stems from Meh. I hope you are ware the opposite is also true.”

“If you betray this city again, she won’t protect you.”

“And if you betray her, nothing will protect you.” A long pause. “Do you want to know the most frustrating thing about being a liar, Mayor Rosewater?”

“How it turns you into a soulless scumbag?”

“How when you are telling the truth, no one believes you.” Tilting his head to the side. “The person simply assumes it is once more...the lie.” Walks away.

Amanda thinks about that in relation to Meh, and doesn’t know what to do.

-090-

It was a rare hour at home alone, and Meh meant to make the most of it. She drew herself a bath and climbed in relishing the warmth as it leached into taut muscles. She had known need and want in her time, and helped herself deal with more on more than one occasion. But Amanda is making it worse than it's ever been before. 

She snaps her right fingers, and they start to vibrate. Then she gets to work. Touching herself, she reaches her first peak quickly. The second she takes her time with.

-090-

Amanda forgets something, and returns to the house to get it. She hears water splashing and a voice, and almost calls out. Then she hears the moan. It's Meh, speaking in indojinse. It sounds like a name. It's pretty clear what she’s doing. Amanda quickly backs out, and decides to come back later. But she’s more than a little aroused, and it's hard to keep focused the rest of the day. Partially because, she wonders who the name is meant to be.

-090-

Amanda, from the beginning, found indojinse as a language beautiful to look at. She also found it impossible to read, even with Richard’s attempt to teach her the language. Her name, at least, she could recognize now and she could safely say that Meh and Nolan rarely spoke of her as a result. It was both a relief and an annoyance, which she knew was unfair but couldn’t quite help. 

So, when she found a densely-packed page among her papers that morning, she admired them for a moment and then moved on. A quick glance through the rest of the stack showed five more, and a quick trip through the morning’s events reminded her that Becca had been in both of their things before they left. So she picked up the hailer and called Doc.

“This is Samir!”

Amanda paused, and said, “I was looking for Doc.”

“Yes, sorry, this is her hailer. She’s up to her elbows in...yeah, never mind. Can I take a message?”

In the background. “Who is it, Samir?”

“It’s Amanda.”

“Bring it.” A pause. “You’re on speaker, Amanda. What’s up?”

“If you’re busy, I can...”

“No, no, I can talk. What is it?”

“Becca was in our bags this morning, and I think I have some papers that belong to you.”

“Samir check that folder I usually...yes. Any pages not in hexes?”

“Um...yes, Doctor Yewll. SOmething about a report on the stasis net, and a-”

“Do you need them now?” Doc.

“I could take them.” Samir, quickly. “I’d be more than happy to-”

“No, I can wait until lunch.” Amanda. “Yours?”

“Same.” A weird noise. “Ah, there it comes. And that, young padawan, is how you clear an infected ear canal on a liberata.” 

“...ah.” 

Amanda hung up, the strangled nausea in Samir’s voice still radiating through the line. 

A little while later, Stama walks into her office. Amanda has set the notes to one side, on the same table she has things set out for Stamah, so she doesn’t forget them later.

“If you’re sure you and Datak want to help rebuild the school house,” Amanda said as she waved herin, “Here are the current plans, budget, and a few things the school teacher has been requesting that we can’t afford.”

“Of course, Madame Mayor. Thank you for putting this together for me.” Perusing the papers. Asking some questions. Picking up the hex script. Amanda promptly takes it from her.

“Not that one.”

“Oh, no, I can see that.” Sharply polite. 

“Excuse me?”

“Of all the things I thought you might be, Amanda, petty was not one of them. I suppose the doctor told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Please let us not play games.” Her smile falling away. “Yes, I propositioned the good doctor after the Omec attack was averted. I have not since then even considered doing so again. She was adamant in her refusal. And this-” Snatching back the sheet and holding it up. “Was  _ entirely _ unnecessary. We  _ all _ know how infatuated she is with you, there was no need to rub it in.”

Amanda stands there open mouthed. Stama starts to get uncomfortable as the silence grows. 

“Perhaps I should-”

“No. Translate this.” Snatching up paper and pen and pushing them into her hands. “Now.”

“But I-”

“And what do you mean by ‘we  _ all _ know’.” Agitated.

“...I have clearly made a mistake, and I believe it is best that I leave now.” Putting the papers aside carefully.

“No! You can’t just... _ say _ something like that and then-”

“Amanda.” Taking her hands gently. “Whatever needs to be said I believe would best come from Doctor Yewll. I have no part in it. I do apologize for my...thoughtless words. I should have know you would not behave so.” A small curtsy. “We can delay until a more convenient time for you comes. Please let me know whenever that is, and I will try to make myself available.” Genuine.

“...yes, of course.” Heart hammers in her chest.

She only has an hour or two. She spends it trying to carefully copy the glyphs to another sheet of paper. When she sees Meh, she plans to reanalyze everything. Unfortunately, Meh shows up and tells her to keep her distance. 

“The smell is lingering. Bad enough I think even a human could smell it. Go pick out whatever you want for dinner, though, as I was well compensated for my trouble.” They exchange notes. Meh goes to bathe. 

Amanda decides to speak to her over dinner instead. That’s when the call comes in. 

The VC has arrived.

-090-

Amanda rolled up the Stasis Net, stepping out as her assistant opened the door for her in clothes more suited to an office than a military post. The deputies on guard awaited her signal to drop the net, and closed it again on the heels of the party that entered. 

“Welcome, gentlemen,” she said as she stepped forward, her own entourage around her. “I’m Mayor Rosewater. Would you like to have a seat? I believe we have some business to discuss.”

The party is two soldiers, two officers, and one admin type. They introduce themselves and allow themselves to be shown to the seats. Officer A, Officer B and Admin for now. 

They settle in under the open-sided tent. Tea and refreshments are served. In her entourage, Amanda has Doc, Irisa as Lawkeeper, Datak and two other council members (figure out who). Plus a handful of deputies. 

“It can be no surprise to you, Mayor Rosewater, why we have come. Your city is harboring a dangerous man that we must be given custody of. Justice demands it.”

“I believe you refer to Joshua Nolan, who was our Lawkeeper at the time.”

“Yes.” Still confident. 

“I do agree that something must be done. However, there is something more important that we need to attend to first.”

“More important than justice?” Disbelief. 

“We have now cleaned up  _ two _ messes the VC made, and at the cost of lives of our citizens.” Crisply. “Your Ambassador, before her tragic death, signed certain agreements with us. We would see them completed, signed and sealed before we move forward on  _ any  _ further business.”

“But surely there is some point in them you would wish to renegotiate, Mayor.” Admin. “I am no, unfortunately, authorized to do such-”

“No, we will accept them as they are now.” Firmly.

“This is ridiculous.” Officer A. “We will eal in good faith and apprehend the criminal ourselves with minimal disturbance to your community if you are afraid of risking your own people to bring him in. I understand he can be dangerous and unstable at times. All you need do is  _ trust _ -”

“Trust?” Coldly. “I’m afraid after your rogue army laid siege to our town and then the Omen declaring war on us after your convoy abandoned us...we have no trust left to give.” Tapping the papers. “This protects my people, human and votan alike. And I will see it signed, ratified and broadcast on the general news radio channels before  _ anything _ else is done.”

The Admin and Officer A trade glances.

Admin nods. “I will require some things from our voncy. Perhaps we could bring it through and-”

“No. Signed, sealed and ratified. Then we lower the nets. You may bring two extra soldiers through to help carry whatever it is you need, and if you tell us how many of you there are we will provide hot meals and cold drinks for everyone to enjoy while we wait.”

“...that is very generous of you.” Standing. “We will be back shortly.”

It takes a while, but in the end it's done. Amanda draws strength from the unflappable Doctor Yewll anchoring her on one side. Signed, sealed, ratified and radioed. 

“Now,” Officer A as hands are shaken all around. “Joshua Nolan...”

“He’s waiting for us in a jail cell.” Amanda replied mildly. 

Officer A pauses. “...oh. Well, let us go collect him, then.”

“We’ll show you the way.”

In the roller. Amanda and Meh in the back. Irisa and Datak up front. 

“Well done, Madame Mayor,” Datak, grinning as he drives. “We have them right where we want them.”

“Don’t count your chicks just yet.” Meh, arms crossed.

“Please, the Mayor was brilliant.”

“Yes, she was, but it's not her I’m worried about.”

“Nolan knows his part too.” Irisia.

“The Iratient officer who didn’t speak, did you see his insignia?”

“No.”

“It’s a black bolt on a blue patch.”

“...ah.”

“What?” Amanda worried. 

“Votan Special Forces,” Meh quietly. “They’re known for getting the job done more than following rules. Rham Tak was once one of them.”

“And if he is high enough ranked to be included in discussions....mm. We will have to keep an eye on him.” Datak. 

“The treaty protects us.” Amanda. 

“He will not care about the treaty, and if he’s been ordered to take care of Nolan at a reasonable cost if things get complicated....we will have to proceed carefully.” Meh. Seeing Amanda’s face, taking her hand. “We’ll make it work, Amanda. Just...be careful, and stick to the plan.”

“You too.” Squeezing her hand.

They arrive. Irisa and Datak get out, quickly get the doors. They walk in ahead of the VC party. Meh catches Datak’s sleeve in passing. 

“Protect Amanda.”

“Ok.”

Nolan is waiting impatiently in his cell. He relaxes a bit when he sees Amanda and Meh until he sees their faces. 

“What-”

“Not right now.” Meh in indojinse.

He pauses, then replies, “Ok.” in the same.

“He speaks indojinse?” Officer A

“Yes,” Meh, taking over. “She’s put herself between the cell and the officers. “It’s one of the reasons I agreed to bond him.”

“You do realize that that alone will not stop us from taking him into custody. And in fact means we will need to arrest you as well.”

“No, but this will.” Meh speaks, Datak offers the papers. Admin and Officer A look at them. “Our request for a home trial which, as the bondmate of a Votanis Collective born indogene living in a city that is now recognized to have the rights as any Votanis Collective ruled colony, you had to grant.”

Admin checks it all, then nods. “...she’s right.”

“No.” Officer B draws his weapon, points it at Nolan. Meh pauses, then steps in the way as chaos erupts. Datak forces Amanda behind covers, Irisa and the deputies draw. “He comes with us today. His trial was held in his absence, and he was found guilty. The sentence is death. We had orders to carry it out away from the city, in respect to your citizens. I can just as easily do it here.”

“When was the trial held?”

“Two months ago.”

“We have proof that we have been bonded longer than two months, and as such he had the legal protection of being a citizen by law at that time and therefore that trial is not valid.”

“I have my orders.”

Officer A and Admin are just watching it play out. 

“Meh,  _ move- _ ” Nolan, getting desperate.

“Shut up.” Pulling something careful out of her pocket. “If I know the VC, your orders are vague enough that if you make the wrong choice, they can string you out to dry. You will want to look at this first.”

It's a datachip.

Officer A puts a hand on B’s shoulder. “Hold.” To Meh. “Bring it here.”

“No,” she replied quietly. “You can come get it.”

“Meh...” Nolan, warning.

“Leave it, Nolan.” not even glancing back.

Officer A considers, then steps forward. Takes the chip. “It looks legitimate,” he said in general to the room. Pulling out a scanner from his pocket, he adds, “I hope for your sake it is.” He steps casually out of the line of fire. Then pauses. Looks up at Meh. She shrugs. “She’s a Prime.”

The other soldiers immediately drop their weapons, and Officer A carefully steps back into line of fire. Holding the scanner up, he repeats. “______, she’s a  _ Prime _ .”

Officer Be examines it, then slowly lowers his weapon. 

“My apologies,” he said stiffly. “It seems you will get your hometrial after all.”

Meh nods slightly, then turns to the admin. “As we could be waiting months for a judge to arrive for the trial, we have requested parole, according to the ____ ______.”

Admin checks the paperwork, and nods.

“Granted.” To iria. “Lawkeeper, please release the prisoner. Admin, go get the kit.”

Admin points to a soldier, who leaves. And Irisa complies at Meh’s nod. Nolan comes out, careful to remain relaxed and hands in view at all times. He swears to go unarmed, to wear a tracker and remain in the city. He also gives blood, saliva and voice print samples. The VC retains the right to keep a soldier in his vicinity at all times, but Meh specifies outside the home.

“We have children, and I would not have them alarmed.”

“You have children?” Surprised.

“Yes, we have children.” Sharply. “Did I stutter?”

“No, Prime.” Quickly. “The soldier will remain outside, and will accompany the paroled individual when he leaves at a discreet distance. Especially if the children are with him.”

“Agreed.”

It is sealed and done. The VC leaves to settle in, with Irisa leading the way. Amanda promises to check on them shortly. As the door closes, Meh takes a shaky breath and starts to fold. 

“Meh!” Nolan catches her, and helps her to a chair.

  
“Holy  _ Christmas _ .”

“Get  _ out of my way _ .” Amanda, shoving Datak to the side. “And you-!” Seeing Meh sitting with her head down. “Meh?” Rushing to her other side.

“Sorry, sorry, uh...” Semi-hyperventilating. “I don’t do brave well.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Nolan, grinning.

“Oh, I’m 100% blaming this on you.” Half-hearted smack as she slowly stands. “Pre-space me would've left your ass high and dry as soon as the gun was pulled.”

“Hey, they say mimicry as the sincerest form of flattery-”

“No!” Amanda. “This is not ok!”

Both of them look at her like she’s crazy. “But we did it.” Meh.

“Yeah, she pushed it through, Amanda. We got the hometrial.” Nolan.

“But at what  _ cost. _ Meh, he could have shot you!”

“You said saving Nolan was worth almost anything.” Standing up.

“I didn’t mean your life!”

“You love him!”

“Well, maybe I love you too!”

Silence.

“Let’s go.” Nolan, grabbing Datak.

“Yes, I think we should-”

Meh’s mouth is hanging open. Amanda’s face is bright red.

“Wh-when you say that, you mean...like family, right?” Meh finding her voice again. “Like...love for the kids, or for your sister, or...”

“No.” Stepping closer, cupping one cheek with her hand. “I mean...I love you.”

“Oh.” Amanda brings their foreheads together slowly, then their bodies.

“That’s all you can say?” A bit nervously.

Meh snorts, then carefully presses herself even closer. “It is not my fault if you’re so beautiful my brain refuses to function properly when you’re around.”

Smiling. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“I think you’re drop dead gorgeous which is why I’m still stuck wondering why you’d even notice me...” Smirking. “Oh, right, my competition is Nolan. Never mph-!”

The kiss is long and sweet. 

Far too soon, their hailers go off.

“Oh for-!” 

“Someone had better be dying-” Catch each other’s eyes, then grins. The hailers go off again.

Amanda answers hers first, still entwined with Meh. “This is Amanda.”

_ If you’re done necking, the VC is waiting for you. _ Nolan.  _ And Samir is looking for Doc. ____ needs something. _

“Oh, Christmas, they actually might be dying...” Me lets go and heads for the door. Promptly comes back and kisses Amanda again. “Tonight?”

Amanda grinning. “Nolan, how do you feel about sleeping with the kids tonight?”

He just laughed.  _ Finally! _

Meh pauses at the door, to smile back at her, then pauses. “Uh...”

“What?” Amanda.

“You’re going to need to fix your hair. Sorry.” She hurries out. 

Amanda looks in the mirror. She looks  _ thoroughly  _ kissed. She is both pleased and dismayed. “Nolan?”

_ Yeah? _

“Tell the VC I’ll be with them shortly.” Clearing her throat. “And tell ____ I need my bag.”

_ Go Meh! _ Nolan Dtak in the background.  _ Well? Is she coming? _

Nolan laughs.  _ Soon, I think. _

Amanda feels her face go red again. She hangs up, gets to work and wonders how rude it would be to skip the rest of the day and lock Doct in a room for a while.

-090-

Meh bursts into the clinic, annoyed and elated by turns. Seeing her patient, she goes straight into Doctor mode. Figure out what alien problem it is this time. Meh finishes up, a few hours have passed. She turns around to find officer Be watching her. 

“Need something?” she asked as she continued cleaning her tools. “A rectal exam, perhaps, to find what’s stuck up your butt?”

“I doubted your Prime status,” he replied flatly. “But it has now been confirmed beyond any reasonable doubt.”

“What was it? My classic good looks? My obvious brilliance? A light from the sky and doves on the wind with a thundering voice from the heavens?”

“Your hometrial has been accepted, and a Grand Judge has already agreed to take the case. He will arrive in approximately three weeks.”

“...a Grand Judge.” Skeptical.

“Clearly they believe you are someone important, and worthy of your title.”

“I earned my title before you were even a twinkle in your mama’s eye.” Continuing to work. “I don’t need to take lip from a lapdog. Who holds your leash, pet?”

“I am sponsored by the Vlane Liro.”

“I figured as much.” Crossing her arms. “Honor and duty is important to you. So is the truth. We requested a hometrial so the truth could be heard, adn weighed fairly.”

“So you maintain that he is not guilty, though there were a dozen witnesses.”

“I maintain that the truth has not been heard in its entirety, and that justice would not be a life for a life.”

“You talk like a politician.”

“Well, I did marry one.” Smirking. “She must’ve rubbed off on me.” Though not nearly as much as Meh is hoping to rub off on her tonight. 

Unimpressed. “Remind your partner that if he breaks his parole, I am authorized to shoot on sight.”

“Remind yourself that masters don’t like troublesome pets.” Coldly. “Be a good boy and find someone else to bother. I have actual work to do.”

He nods and goes.

Samir. “Is Law-...Mr Nolan going to be alright?”

“He’ll be fine. Can you finish up here? I have-”

“Yeah, sure.” He’s a doofus, but a useful one.

“You’re doing good, kid. Keep it up.”

“Thanks, Doctor Yewll. A wide smile.

Meh heads home.

-090-

Amanda endures the meetings, and makes nice. But her mind is definitely back home, with a certain Doctor. Datak is being oddly supportive, and offers to host the VC in his own home for dinner that evening. Iris and Alak are to attend, as are a few council moments. Also Amanda. 

When she finally gets home, Nolan is still up downstairs. They kiss.

“Where’s Meh?”

“Tossed aside alright...” Teasing. She gives him a look. “Upstairs, obsessing over the trial.”

“So you both heard?”

“Officer B came to tell Meh personally. She didn’t say so, but I think he was a jerk about it.” Pausing. “She’s worried.”

“How do you know?”

“She hasn’t stopped working since she got back. Not to eat or even put the kids to bed, and every time I go in to check on her she nicely but firmly tells me to leave.”

“Then what are we going to do?”

“I’m going to bed with the kids. You’re dealing with Meh.”

“What??”

“She needs to relax. The best way I know to relax, she’s made clear I can have no part in.”

“I don’t even know-” He gives her a look. She goes red. The frowns. “You knew all along, didn’t you?”

“No, don’t you dare put this on me.” Hands up. “Both of you were stubborn, and that’s not my fault. One more ‘oh woe is me’ from either of you and I was tempted to lock you in the bedroom with no clothes until you’d sorted things out.”

“So...what do I do?”

Giving her a look. “Keep the braid, lose the jewelry except your ring. Something soft, like an old shirt, is best. No bra, no pants. Good luck.”

“Nolan?”

“Yeah?”

Kisses. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah...” Smacking her butt. “Now go get the girl!”

-090-

Amanda took  _ most _ of Nolan’s advice, but decided ‘no pants’ when she was leaving the bedroom was one step too far. She settled on some very short, soft shorts, though. 

Meh didn’t look up when she entered, goggles on as she tampered with wires that crackled and hissed. When she did look up, Amanda was gratified to see the quick double take and eyes that lingered briefly on her obvious nipples and exposed legs. Still, the indogene yanked her eyes back to the table top and continued her work.

“I’m sorry, but the news of the Grand Judge’s arrival changes things. I need to work on this.” Setting one tool down and reaching for another. Amanda takes the opportunity to slide her arms about Meh’s shoulders and press her face into the older woman’s neck. 

“No.” Pressing a kiss to the exposed skin. 

“But-...this is...”

“No.” Nipping the edge of her jaw. 

“I...have to...” 

“Come to bed.” Slowly turning her seat around.

“I’m not tired.”

Amanda slides into her lap. “Good. I wasn’t proposing sleep.”

Kissing, kissing, kissing.

“Yes,” Meh said a short while later, breathing heavily. “I think bed is a good idea.”

“I don’t know, I’m kinda of comfortable here.” Amanda, teasing her neck with kisses again. 

Meh gooses her hard enough she yelps and half jumps up. Indignant look.

“Don’t worry,” smirk. “I promise to kiss and make it better.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Taking her hand and pulling her up.

“I’m hoping you hold me to alot.” Following her to the bedroom. Amanda is more eager, but less experienced. Meh takes her time, but knows pretty much exactly what she’s doing. Amanda is entirely unprepared for how adept Meh is at reading her cues and bringing her to orgasm. Once with her mouth, once with her hands, and then rubbing themselves together. As they lay tangled in the sheets, Amanda breathing heavily and Meh tracing patterns on her ribs. She realizes they’re hexes. 

“What are you writing?”

“...a poem.” Fingers still moving.

“Read it to me?”

Meh recites it in indojinse. It's beautiful, and Amanda doesn’t need to hear a translation to know what it means. She still picks up some things.

“...did you just call me a temptress with a braid of gold?”

Meh goes still. “...you speak indojinse?”

“Only bits and pieces.” Abashed. “Richard has been trying to teach me. I...wanted it to be a surprise.”

“How long?”

“A few months, on and off. I normally don’t understand that much, though, when you and Nolan are talking. Richard explained how you....’changed’ some of the rules because he just can’t keep some of it straight.”

“Yeah...”

Feeling bold. “Could I ask you a question about a word? Or phrase maybe?”

“We’re naked and alone, and you want a language lesson?” Teasing.

“My legs are still shaking from that last one, I’m desperately trying to distract you long enough to possibly recover.”

Smug. “As away.”

“What does _____ mean?”

Meh pauses. “...beloved. It means beloved.” Swallowing hard. “I guess it was impossible to hope you wouldn’t notice, considering how much we say it.” 

“We?”

“Nolan and I.” Licking her lips. “It’s our name for you. When we’re talking in indojinse. Beloved.”

Amanda considers that, feeling her cheeks flood with heat and heart full. “...oh.”

“...you hadn’t...picked that up?”

“No.”

“When did you hear it, then?”

“Ah, I came home one afternoon, looking for something. And I...heard you. In the bathroom.” Meh’s very quiet. “I didn’t...I wasn’t  _ trying _ to...I was really jealous, though.”

“Jealous?” 

“It sounded like a name, and I was very jealous of whoever it was because...I wanted it to be my name.”

Meh snorts.

“Yes, I see the irony now.” Meh nuzzles her neck, laughing. Kissing, kissing, kissing. Amanda pulls back. “I don’t know if I can go again.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“No, just a statement of fact. Thank you, though. You...you were incredible.”

“I should hope so. I’ve spent months planning it.” Smug.

“Uh..was I...”

“Perfect.”

“Be serious.”

“I am being serious.”

“I’m still not even sure what...you like.”

“I like you, naked, letting me make you feel good.”

“Meh...”

“I mean that.” Turning the ardor up. Rolling Amanda on her stomach and straddling her, snapping her fingers a few times. “We were created to serve. It's built into our nature and defined by our creeds. And knowing we have done well is one of the most satisfying experiences for us.”

“What are you doing?” Meaning her fingers.

“Trying to create an imbalance in the inertial dampers by-” Her fingers start to gently buzz. “There we go!”

“Oh  _ fu- _ ” Muffling her groan in the pillow. 

“Yep.” Smug, sliding the hand down between Amanda’s legs. She pressed her forehead between the bared shoulders, kisses and bites keeping her mouth occupied. Her wife writhes beneath her, hips thrusting jerkily but unable to move far as Meh’s weight bears her into the mattress. Her yells are muffled by pillows, and mix with Meh’s quieter signs of pleasure and murmuring her name. She turns off the buzz and Amanda rides out the rest with teasing, gentle strokes. 

“Oh, you’re evil.”

“Hm...yes.” Helping her roll over again. “But you married me anyway.”

-090-

Amanda brings a box into work for a special ‘research project’. It's all of Kenya’s old journals, and she hopes to find notes from her visits with Doc. She does. All pertinent ones about indogenes she transferred into a smaller booklet, to study later and compare to what she knows about Doc. 

When Doc finds out, she’s surprisingly pleased about it. It's neat and orderly and  _ logical _ . She likes logical. Especially when it means extended sessions together.

-090-

Meh showing Nolan and Amanda her 'tattoos’, including where she's added theirs and the kids' names. Lev's name is with her family's, those who have passed. 

Amanda's a fan. Nolan slips out when she gives him the 'get out of here' look, and she ambushes Doc when she tries to get dressed again. Thankfully, there's not much going on that day. 

####

Meh finally doing whatever everyone thinks she’s been doing in Amanda’s office during their ‘private lunches’. 

-090-

Nolan and Amanda have a night together, medical something or other. How love multiplies, not divides. 

-090-

Nolan and Meh talking about Amanda, only she knows it now. Sharp reminder that even if she doesn't speak indojinse well, the children do. Quick explanations of things that never, never, never should be said ever again when they’re in earshot.

-090-

Two weeks lots of A/M sex. Nolan enjoying teasing them from the background, and the kids enjoy the amount of cuddling everyone gets overall. Happy parents make for happy kids!

The VC hosts a few dinners. Amanda brings Meh to one, Nolan to another, and the last one both. Lots of PDA, on a mild level. Nolan not working means lots of time with the kids. Irisa takes over as Lawkeeper, Nolan ends up keeping Luke on occasion too. 

-090-

Nolan slowly makes friends with his guards. Offers them a drink of an evening, introduces the kids to them on the way into school. They get more relaxed with him. One even asks what it's like to have two wives. 

“Exhausting.” They laugh. 

-090-

The Grand Judge arrives in a convoy. Amanda hosts a reception to welcome in. A tall indogene sweeps in. and Meh freezes on the spot. 

“Ah, my dear Meh. No greeting for old family?” Smiling coldly.

“We are no longer family.” Turning to Amanda and Nolan, who are both clearly confused. “May I introduce Dr. Loh Merto, who is apparently now a Grand Judge. And a Prime.” As an afterthought. “And also Lev’s father.”

There follows a painful night in which he compares Nolan and Amanda to his lost daughter, and finds them severely lacking. Meh is not happy. It is not a happy trio when they get home. 

-090-

The Trial is long and grueling. Dr. Merto does nothing to make it easier for them in his capacity as Grand Judge. He demands hours of proof from Meh. Memory after memory after memory shared and examined by his panel of experts. In the end, they agree death is not justice. But something must be paid for what was lost. The Ambassador's cousin gives the pronouncement. An eye for an eye is a human saying that the Castithans adopt for this case. Nolan must lose an eye publically, and so much Meh. For Meh its not a huge deal, she can relatively easily grow a new one with the right equipment and time. For Nolan, its another thing entirely. However, Meh subverts the sentence as when she takes her own eye, she immediately implants it into Nolan. That isn’t technically against the rules, but it is definitely out of line to the usual way of doing things and the Grand Judge is pissed. Meh is fairly certain there’s nothing he can do to get back at her, and gets used to wearing an eyepatch for a bit again. Pirate Meh jokes. 

Then they come for the kids.

‘Half the Omec tech’ is the agreement, and Meh about loses her mind. Grand Judge is the one insisting they follow the letter fot he agreement. She decides to go with the girls, to plead her case to the VC. Nolan tries to go as well, but he can’t. Datak decides to go, and Amanda does as well (to make sure Meh comes back). They prepare to go, and leave.

-090-

At some point during the trial, Meh comes back exhausted and Amanda is upset that something Datak said was given more weight than something she said in the trial. Meh points out how thoroughly Amanda holds a grudge. It is not appreciated. It's their first real massive fight. Not sure if Nolan decides to stick his nose in or not.

-090-

They travel by boat back to the VC territory. The girls are in one room under guard, Meh and Amanda and Datak in a suite together. Meh is entirely consumed with how to fight them taking the girls. Visits are limited, and supervised. Amanda is mostly left alone with Datak. She is invited often to see the other VC elite on the ship, and being a politician always accepts. Datak keeps an eye on her. 

A few days from VC territory, Councillor Merto invites Amanda to a shindig. Gives her some special Votan drink that humans tend not to take too well. Datak tries to stop her, she drinks it anyways. It has some unfortunate side effects on humans. The first of which is it makes them incredibly.... _ needy _ .

The Counselor suggests if Meh is too busy, others would be happy to provide companionship. Amanda declines, and does something she never thought she would do: trusts Datak.

“Get me to Meh, please.”

“Of course, Mayor.” Escorts her away. Meh is thankfully in their rooms. Almost before Datak has the door closed, she’s stripping out of her clothes. Datak heads for his room, but not very quickly. He’s enjoying the show. Once Meh recovers from her shock, she orders him out. He complies with a grin.

Amanda drops in her lap, breathing heavily. 

“_____.”

“How much?”

“Enough to be sick later. So I better make sure I enjoy this while I can.”

The effects last for  _ hours _ . Meh is even fairly worn out by the end. When Amanda wakes, she is alone. Creeping out in a robe, she finds Datak who is annoyingly smug. Meh is ‘bearing the lion in his den’. Offering Amanda what he did was a mistake, especially without Meh present. Amanda starts to sick up, he’s surprisingly nice about the whole thing. 

In the VC, Kai goes from bad to worse. They somehow come up with a cure. Meh eventually agrees to leave her behind, and takes Becca back home. Amanda and Datak go with her. Amanda in her time in VC territory has impressed several important people. Good stuff all around, they go home.

...Meh gets home, and wonders why she and Nolan had to be sent back. The only big thing to have happened is...Nolan’s trial. 

Q appears, and explains. Because they’ve been very entertaining. What saved the town...was the VC. Amanda was so pissed about the whole Omec thing, she refused to sign any treaty with them at all. The VC boycotted them, and convinced others to do the same. A producing miners town with no customers is just as dead in the water as a miner’s town with no mine. 

So...that’s how they saved the day. 

Meh kind of wishes she could hit him. And hug him. Both are not good. 

Happy ending, yay!


End file.
